One Mind and All of Time

By Gregory Miller

This is a story about pure genius. It shows what one superior man can accomplish if he responds to the precarious position that ignorance has trapped us in.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 6, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524558239

Gregory Miller

My name is Gregory A. Miller. My e-mail address is [e-mail]. I can also be reached at [phone]. My home state is Wisconsin, and I live in Milwaukee. I have lived in a forest where I could walk twenty-seven miles and see only six houses. The title of the book is One Man, One Mind, and All of Time. All of the people in this story are fictional.

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

When the last century was half over a son was born to Chris and Rachel Cooper. He was born three years behind his sister Debbie Cooper and was named Jeff Cooper.

Both Debbie and Jeff were blue eyed and blond. In Jeffs case, his hair was white at birth and so fine that it appeared unreal. His blue eyes were unique also. They were ringed with two darker blue rings, one ring was directly around the pupil, the other was located at mid iris. His parents took him to optometrists because they feared something was wrong with his eyesight. They were assured that nothing was wrong. The doctors told them the eye color would most likely darken as would the hair color. He was definitely not an albino.

He was a quiet infant. He hardly made a peep. He did not cry overmuch. Only to get the attention of his mother when he was wet or hungry. Once he was allowed out of the crib he would spend hours listening and watching. He began talking at eight months old and walking at one. He used a toilet at eleven months, needed no potty training and always woke at night to use the toilet. One time he did pee outside the bathroom on the wall. But he was dream walking and seriously thought he was in the bathroom.

Jeffs father was an avid hunter, trapper and fisherman. He was Vice President of a fishing club, wrote a syndicated fishing column and had a small business doing handyman services. For his full time job he was a mold maker in plastic molding. He surrounded himself with books and collected both Scientific American and Popular Science Magazines from 1935 onward. He also was a taxidermist, raised chinchillas for their worth as fur bearers and tropical fish that he sold to pet stores. He took Jeff with him almost from birth. One of his interests was Butterflies and Moths. He would take Jeff to the schools located in the rural areas at night, and under the bright spotlights that surrounded them, show him the giant moths. He developed a very large collection of Butterflies and Moths with Jeff, while Jeff was still a baby. He built a very large wood and glass tank, put in a filtration system and raised a single bluegill. He explained to Jeff that he could cheat and grow a World Record Bluegill in captivity. He fed the bluegill on worms, leaches, hellgrammites, Mayfly larvae and even crayfish. The bluegill also ate all his remaining minnows after a fishing trip. The Bluegill soon became very large.

Jeff fed the thing his fathers guppies without telling him. His dad never noticed their absence, because he had so many different types of fantail guppies. He also bred Neon Tetras and Zebras. His dad never saw that a couple were gone. Jeff was still in his first year during this time. Jeffs father had books on Tropical Fish, Wisconsin Fish, Butterflies and Moths, Birds, Trees, Flowering and Non-flowering plants, Mosses, Mushrooms, Wild Edibles and two complete encyclopedia sets that he kept updated annually. He had books on rock collecting, gardening, cooking, etc, and his library was very large.

Jeffs mother not only worked in a foam rubber factory, but kept the house and cooked, made sausage, canned vegetables, made jams and jellies, sauerkraut and picked wild Honey mushrooms, Puffballs, Hen of the Woods, Morel mushrooms and Field mushrooms with his father when in season. She also fished with his father for Bullheads which they canned.

Jeff learned to read shortly after his first birthday, because his father had the books and told him the names of everything. Jeff began by looking at the names printed beneath the butterflies and moths, plants, fish and birds. He had to learn to read; so that he could learn the things he was interested in, and he was interested in everything. Once he could read he found that the encyclopedias were a wealth of information. All of his spare time was spent reading the books his dad had. The science magazines were fantastic. He read everything. His interest was so great that he inadvertently memorized the science magazines from 1935 to 1952 and all of the encyclopedias from A to Z. He memorized the zoology and every other book his dad had in his library. When Jeff was two, his dad showed him how to read a tape measure. Chris had to tell him not to give measurements to the nearest 64th of an inch. His dad told him that the saw blade was 1/8th inch thick; so his measurements should never be closer than to the nearest 1/16th inch. His dad had a slide rule and Jeff played with it for hours.

Jeff found that the home library only whetted his appetite for information; so by 36 months old he had his own library card. Jeff became interested in chemistry, physics and math. By 40 months old Jeff had memorized all of the functions in trigonometry and calculus. He noticed relationships between the different fields and was introduced to inter-library loans. He still could find no reference to the simplification functions he could see; so he decided to write them down in a notebook. Soon he had a notebook filled with functions that arrived at the same answer but removed the necessity for pages of calculations in trigonometry, differential and integral calculus and statistics. Many complicated problems were possible to solve in his head. Algebra was memorized in one reading. He could flip from fractions to decimal equivalents in his head instantly. Solving for X through the simple subtraction, reciprocal multiplication, etc was understood almost before it was read.

Jeff studied chemistry and organic chemistry. He was particularly interested in biochemistry. It responded excellently to his simplification functions. But he could use his math to predict anything in metallurgy; so inorganic chemistry was also very interesting. He studied Physics as well, but he believed that physics was based on paradigms without a factual basis in many ways. He had his own paradigm that was much simpler and solved all problems.

Jeff believed that the universe began at absolute zero and ended at the speed that photons moved when they red shifted. He did not believe that photons red shifted because of the expanding universe. He believed that Photons emitted a photon entropy particle that left our universe, creating a barrier to the passage of anything larger, gravity and the forward motion of time by their loss from our universe. It was bizarre, but his math proved infinite universes and could predict size and mass in those on each side of ours. His Math allowed him to explain Quasars and Black Holes. But he realized that misuse of his simplification math functions could cause time paradox or destroy the solar system in the wrong hands. He was not quite four years old, and his parents could help him in no way. Neither one of them had a dad that taught them as infants. They were both too busy to read like he did. He didn’t even tell them he could read. They just thought he was looking at pictures, and neither of them could understand even the quadratic equation. Why belittle their minds? They were too busy just keeping a roof over his head, and his sister had her dolls. She began calling him the little professor whenever he talked to her. He had to constantly watch the language he used.

Jeff was four years old when his father bought a property in the country. A subdivision was put in well south of Milwaukee, in the city of Franklin. He was forced to walk four miles to catch the bus if he needed the library, but he was mostly done with the sciences they could offer him. He could predict the new technologies before they were published in the science magazines. He believed that this was the perfect time for investment, but he had no money. He would have to solve that problem first.

Jeff asked his father if he could sell live bait to his fishing buddies. His dad made him a drag net and buried him a night crawler bed. Jeff had a wading pool and he knew that leaches could be caught with liver and a perforated can. He sold large Tiger Salamander mud puppies, crayfish, leaches, hellgrammites, small mud puppies, baby leopard frogs, gray peepers, and both red worms and night crawlers. Once he had enough money he had his father help him open a bank account. He got a rusty but operable refrigerator, a water pump, filter and three galvanized cow troughs from Farm and Fleet. He began fishing for suckers and creek chubs. He also set many minnow traps and began selling minnows. Some of his dads friends tried to cheat the little guy, but soon found that his math was sound and he would not give deals or replace bait that they left to cook in their cars.

By the age of 53 months Jeff was banking over five hundred dollars a week. Jeff needed more money. He asked his father if he could build a farmette and raise fish. His dad told him that it would be his responsibility. He could do whatever he wanted as long as it didn’t cost the family any money. Jeff was already paying for the electric bill and had his own phone for his bait business. It was now 1954 and Jeff could still buy concrete for three ponds and afford to have three ponds dug to a depth of 20 feet, sixty feet long and thirty feet wide. In the exact center of the ponds he had a channel dug and installed his own filtration system.

He had his own idea for a new fruit that required a glycogen metabolite from fish feces to enable an intracellular species of zygomycetes to survive within the root cells of tomato plants. He intended to feed the fish pelletized freeze dried maggots, Boletus mushrooms infected with a mushroom parasite and autoclaved flies that were infected with a neurologic zygomycetes. The fungus was deadly and would require a sealed airtight fly house and sealed tyvex suits with duct tape over all possible openings. Forced air would be provided through a hose and a special air compressor that would filter and dry the air. He would also raise the percent oxygen to twenty-eight percent to maximize fly size. To grow the mushrooms Jeff planted Red Pine, White Pine and Jack Pine inside of his mushroom house. The trees were planted in rows; six feet between rows and four feet between each tree. He bought the 15 foot tall trees from a nursery and spread the roots before covering them with slightly acidic soil liberally inoculated with boletus spores and mycellial fiber. He had 108 trees and built the mushroom house with thin plywood which he painted on both sides, over painted studs set twelve inches on center, R-35 insulation and plasterboard on the inside which was also painted on both sides with oil based enamel. He wired the house with High Lux Full Spectrum Grow Florescent lights and set the ceiling at six feet. He put flexible rubber diaphragms around the tree trunks and cut the limbs off to six feet four inches; so they would clear the roof. He would water the trees from within daily.

Jeff also dug three smaller shallow ponds, which he planted with edible seaweed species, and fat head minnows. He also built a chicken coop and fenced off a section for chickens, a pigeon coop for large king pigeons, short shelters for the ducks and geese he intended to buy and two other pens: one for a steer and another for a pig or two.

Jeff spent another thousand dollars having the entire five acres fenced off with a solid wood fence eight feet high. He erected a small greenhouse and had a building erected that was solid florescent grow lights for his tomatoes. He was almost out of money; so initially he did not buy an autoclave but two very large pressure cookers, and he built his own freeze drier from two used vacuum cleaners and a setup of copper piping, dry ice and isopropyl alcohol.

Before winter set in he would need to invest in propane furnaces for his fly house and his tree house at least. He began looking for a pair of 80% efficient furnaces with broken heat exchangers he could repair. He believed he could build a 98% efficient condensing furnace because his math said so. But they were not on the market yet. He knew how to convert an 80 to a 90+, but it would take the addition of a secondary heat exchanger and a lot of stainless steel. Most of the damage to heat exchangers was caused by cheap materials and flame impingement.

Jeff contacted the DNR and contracted for three truckloads of road kills per month. He inoculated the first load of road kills with both Blue Bottle Flies and the neurologic zygomycetes. He obtained the fungus from the Institute of Mycology in Tutori Japan. The article Jeff had read said the flies lived healthier and longer then other flies, but at the point of death the fly would climb to the highest point available, die and the head exoskeleton would crack open. A yellow mushroom would grow out of the opening. He was terrified of the fungus, but it was necessary as part of his fish food. He was using his math to create the soil additive for his tomatoes. Using his math he could predict metabolites.

Jeff also bought 5000 hybrid Bluegill fry, 5000 Yellow Perch fry, 3000 Yellow Bullhead fry and 1500 Channel Catfish fry from the DNR. He planted them in the ponds and fed them with dredgings from his live bait excursions, that included mosquito larvae and all the other little critters that were too small to sell as live bait. Much of it was damsel fly larvae and numerous aquatic flies. This was only until his fly farm and mushroom farm were producing. There were three species of small mayfly larvae that constituted a large percentage of the food by weight, but they were too small to use as live bait.

Jeff was still selling live bait; so he was not totally broke, but his live bait funds were almost depleted. He had skinned all the animals brought by the DNR and he invested in tans to make leather from the hides, hair on and hair off. By raising the pH with the dehair sodium hydroxide he was able to precipitate the chrome tans for reuse, but he knew it would cost a lot to do it on an industrial scale. He needed more money.

Jeff bought a bull calf from a milk farmer who had freshened his dairy cows and spent ten dollars to have it neutered. His neighbors bagged their grass clippings. Those who had no pets, did not fertilize or use weed killers on their lawns gave Jeff many bags of grass and clover. The calf cost Jeff 45 dollars, 55 after it was turned into a steer. He got two piglets, both female, from a neighbor of one of his cousins. Jeffs father Chris had a friend through his fishing club who had a game farm. He had a Honeybee Hive in one of his barns. The hive swarmed and Jeff built him a beehive. His father and him cut down the swarm for the guy and put it into the hive, beneath the racks of honey combs. He gave Jeff six African Geese, six Almond Ducks and six Indigo Diving Ducks. Jeff bought fifty large White Leghorn Chickens from the feed store, twenty-five Muscovy Geese, twenty large White King Pigeons and twenty-five large European Egg Laying Geese also. He used his math to calculate the optimum feed mixes and made up a weeks worth ahead of time.

Jeff worked out his Super Sweet tomato using his math. Legumes: clover, peas, beans, etc have a symbiotic relationship with a bacteria called Risobium that lives within the root base and fixes atmospheric Nitrogen, creating its own fertilizer. It does not form root nodules on tomatoes. Tomatoes are in the family Solonacea. An intracellular plant fungus is called a zygomycetes, the scientific term for this particular fungi was endomycorrhizal zygomycetes. He found a species that he could force to survive in the rootlets of tomatoes, and it is, in very restricted instances parasitic on potatoes, but it would need a special additive to infiltrate the tomato rootlet. If it was forced into the tomato rootlet it would enable the Risobium bacteria to survive in a symbiotic relationship. At the same time, Jeffs math proved that the metabolic pathways in the tomato plant would force it to sequester pure fructose in the fruit body. This would be a forced three animal kingdom symbiosis. The only additive capable of supporting the fungus is the metabolism of super high glycogen levels by fish and located in the fish feces. Mushroom are made of glycogen, the exoskeletons of insects are made of glycogen. Glycogen is a simple sugar. He calculated that it would require 15 grams of the additive to keep the zygomycetes healthy for one growing cycle.

The high oxygen concentration in the fly house and the 98% humidity allowed the flies to develop 2 inch long maggots. At first harvest Jeff had three hundred pounds of dried autoclaved fish food. His Boletus mushrooms were also autoclaved with worms inside and resulted in four hundred pounds of pelletized fish food. Everything was blended, powderized and pelletized. Jeff had four feeders set up in each pond and because the fish size was still small they broadcasted five pounds of food every fifteen minutes from a different feeder each time. He also put in an oxygenator which bubbled air into the ponds from near the screened filter ports.

Jeff started five tomato plants with seeds treated with the fungi, bacteria and grown in a media containing the fish additive. One was a Beefsteak Tomato, one was a Yellow Pear Tomato, one was a small Cherry Tomato, one was a Romano Tomato; the last was simply a ‘Short Season Tomato’. Jeff grew all five under lights, indoors. The best flowering turned out to be the Beefsteak. But Jeff found that the blossoms needed to be pollinated immediately after opening or they fell without producing any fruit. Through experimentation he found that he had eight hours to pollinate the flowers. At nine hours it dropped to 50% success. Anytime after that and the blossoms yielded no fruit.

It was August of his fourth year before the first tomato ripened. It was a small Yellow Pear Tomato. Jeff cut it in half and found no seeds. He ate half of the tomato. It tasted like a teaspoon of pure honey. It may have been worth marketing the tomatoes but unlike regular yellow tomato plants it had only six little yellow berries on it. It didn’t seem to matter if he pollinated the flowers the second they opened, less than 5% of the flowers resulted in fruit. When he pollinated the Beefsteak Tomatoes immediately after opening 99% of the flowers resulted in fruit. He had over sixty Beefsteak Tomatoes on the one large plant. He had to tie up the limbs to support the large fruits. He photographed the plant for his glossies. He intended to write directions for growing his plants. If grown outside, long before the tomatoes ripened, they would attract every bee and yellow jacket in the area. Bees, wasps and yellow jackets would chew into the fruit and they would become beehives.

One week later the first of his Beefsteak Tomatoes ripened. He broke it lose from the plant gently. He cut it in half and found it was also totally seedless. It was very sweet. It was so sweet that he felt he could not eat an entire fruit. One fruit weighed eighteen ounces. He intended to allow the next one to ripen completely. He believed that they would continue to swell if allowed to stay on the plant longer. He wasn’t worried that the fruits had no seeds. He had the media, and knew how to clone. he trimmed three leaves and started 50 clones. He put them on the media and placed the media, with the additive and the bacteria under the grow lights and took the remaining half tomato into the house and downstairs where his father was building a Maple Burlwood octagonal table for some client.

Jeff watched his father for awhile as he passed a router around the outside edge of the delicate, fancy turn legged artwork. He knew that his father was proud of his creation and was selling it for something like six hundred dollars. At that he was earning probably eight dollars an hour for his labor. He spent at least a week on the claw feet alone. The 4" drop that attached the legs to the table had hidden dovetails. The easiest part was the exquisite top which was matched, glued and hand sanded. The edging was an inset Roman ogee with a tapered bull nose. He wasn’t done even after his table was made. He would put five coats of varnish on it after a Maple stain, using emery cloth and tack cloth between each cured coat. Jeff marveled at the intricate carved scroll work on the eight sides of the drop and the one inch eight sided boarder just inside the Roman ogee on the top. His father finally finished his pass.

God dad that’s beautiful! I hope that millionaire chick likes it. His dad wiped his sleeve across his forehead before setting his router on the workbench.

She paid more for her dresser and bed. She doesn’t realize that this piece is much more difficult. But she’s already talking about a few sets of trellises for her grapes and Passion Flowers. I want to keep her happy.

Try this new tomato. Nothing added, I just cut it in half. It’s totally seedless. His father took the tomato from him and bit into it.

My god! That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth! You say it’s new? How much does it cost for a plant?

It costs a whopping fifteen dollars a plant. It comes with its own media, and there is no refund if the growing instructions aren’t followed perfectly. It doesn’t grow sweet unless it’s grown in its own media. The flowers must be pollinated within eight hours of opening, and since it’s so sweet, it must be grown either indoors under grow lights or covered constantly except when pollinating or the fruits will become bee bombs. If grown indoors the people can buy the grow light setup with a light timer and four 4' lights, including fixtures for sixty dollars, but the lights can be used to grow anything. Indoor gardening can become a neat hobby.

You sound like an advertizement for the plants and lighting.

Hey dad, I need to pay for my farmette. I’ll do anything to make a buck.

I bet a lot of my friends would want these tomatoes even at fifteen dollars a plant. They may even want the lighting setup. Is this the only tomato you have?

The single plant I have has sixty fruits that are ripening on it. I’m also expecting 50 more plants. I think they would go excellent as sweet deserts, and I can also provide the grow light setups.

How much do you make per sale?

C’mon! This is my business. I intend to see if I can sell the fruits at area stores also. What do you think I should earn as a commission?

Okay, I realize even Burpees has commission outlets. But I don’t want you ripping off my buddies. They will buy from you because of the club.

Dad, every plant will be mailed directly to them. If they buy 25 plants, or ten plants and lighting they pay no postage. Ten plants require eight lights. That’s two banks of four lights each; so the total is $270.00 plus tax; $284.85.

And you make what, a ten percent commission? $28.50?

I’m not saying. I am the distributor. I gotta be paid. Can you sell them for me?

Sure. But they’re so sweet nobody could eat a whole tomato. Do they have smaller varieties?

The other varieties don’t produce very well at all. I got seven yellow pear tomatoes from an entire plant. Jeff sat down. I got twelve dinky cherry tomatoes and fifteen Romano tomatoes, but 60 Beefsteaks, and they’re much bigger.

Sounds to me like those other varieties aren’t fully developed. Don’t even offer them. You tried how many varieties?

I tried five varieties. The only one that produced enough was the Beefsteak.

You spent $75.00 on five plants?

Well I needed a lot of lighting, because I have both an indoor and outdoor grow house. To change the subject, what do you think about my steer and pigs?

I didn’t think you could feed animals so cheaply. I never considered neighbors grass clippings. Are you sure they can survive on grass clippings?

There is enough clover for the steer, but I intend to go down to the fruit dealers for waste to feed the pigs. But first I want to get a contract with some stores for eggs and chickens. I also will soon begin to sell geese, ducks, squab and fish. My bait sales still clear five hundred a week, but I’ve spent so much building the farm that I’m just above board. I’m paying a lot for electricity and chemicals for leather making.

Jeff I’m worried about your maggot farm. It’s totally locked. What’s in there?

Dad don’t worry about my safety. I wear tyvex suits and use an external air source. But I need those maggots for fish food. They are dried, sterilized, ground and pelletized for fish food. The bones are dried, sterilized and ground before composting into fertilizer. I sell fertilizer and compost also. I could use the bone in bird feed also, because as a sterile additive they help egg formation.

How much compost do you create? You have piles all over the place back there.

There’s only six or seven piles. One of the piles is steer food. I turn the others weekly. It takes six weeks to totally compost the bird, pig and cow shit with grass clippings. Then I bag it and palletize it. One pallet per week is sold at the garden center; 56 bags per pallet. I get $70.00 per pallet of composted manure. It costs $2.00 for 150 bags and I get a pallet for free when I deliver a full pallet. The sealer cost $15.00.

That’s not a lot of profit.

But it is a profit, and it takes hardly any time to fill and seal the bags. As my business grows I will sell more compost. I have to get rid of the waste some way, and I’d rather get paid to get rid of it. I also get rid of the hair from the tanning process that way. There’s no chemicals in the deer hair. My tanning is totally recycled, but it’s only a small operation at present.

Who buys your leather?

A leather working company on Erie, just up the street from where it crosses Water.

How much do you get from that?

C’mon dad! I don’t know. I’d have to check. My farm costs money to run. For now the ponds are just overhead. Though the fish will sell for a few hundred thousand, they won’t be anything but overhead for another year and a half.

Jeff got assurances from his father that he’d talk to his friends about the tomatoes and the grow light setups before leaving him to put a first coat of varnish on his table. His father was worried about air movement and dust anyway; so it was easy to leave him. He went outside and fed his creatures.

Jeff had been reading about force feeding birds. To maximize turkey growth the enclosed farms turned their lights on for fifteen minutes every hour every night. The literature stated that the first thing a bird does upon waking is to eat. He thought about that later, while he walked to the end of the bus line. He decided to check out the numerous fresh fruit and vegetable outlets in Milwaukee.

On his way he stopped off at the bank with a few checks to deposit in his account. He talked to his banker Maria about buying gold with a few thousand. He had $47,000.00 in his company account. Every time he got ahead he bought a few thousand dollars worth of gold at $32.00 per ounce. His math proved that within the next 40 years the value of gold would increase 55 times. He considered it an excellent long term investment. He also instructed Maria to get him an enclosed truck and register it to his company: JC Farms. He also needed a small bobcat to be delivered to his farms. He had a drive located on the other side of his farm, that was not visible from his parents house. He told her to have the machinery delivered there and left.

He stopped also at a printer and told them he wanted a glossy with the picture he had taken of his tomato plant, to print out directions for growing the plants and a price list for the lighting and the timer for lighting. By the time he reached the vegetable wholesalers their dumpsters were totally full and spilling onto the alley. He was told that he could totally empty them if he wanted. He could have all the waste he wanted for free.

On the way home Jeff stopped back at the bank, Maria was still behind her desk when he entered.

Maria, do you have a second?

Sure Jeff, have a seat. What’s up?

Have you bought the small Bobcat and Truck yet?

Yes. They are probably both delivered by now. I instructed them to leave the keys in the glove compartment of the GMC truck. The Bobcat cost $2,100.00 and the truck cost $7,200.00. With the $5000.00 in gold you bought earlier, 160 ounces, because of the order size, you still have $32,700.00 in your account.

My parents bought their home and property on a thirty year mortgage for $15,000.00. I was wondering if I could purchase their mortgage without them finding out. I would like their payments, minus homeowners insurance, placed in a retirement account for them.

That could be done, but it might cost you a few hundred more. Investment companies buy mortgages as investments and it would be a simple task to find out who actually owns your parents mortgage. You could buy it from them, but they would want to make a bit of profit. They are losing a lot of interest and would want to sell at a profit. She got out her phone book and asked their names and the address. Within five minutes she had the broker on the phone. Your parents put down $5000.00 as a down payment, and they have been paying $157.00 per month for seven months. You can buy their mortgage for $9,122.76. You end up paying $221.76 for the contract. You will still have $23,577.24 in your company account.

Do it, and I would like to get a copy of the deed. I expect that I will have to wait a week or so to pick it up, right?

Actually, I can get a copy of the deed to you tomorrow. Or you could pick it up here later today, We should receive the deed by closing.

I’ll try to pick it up tomorrow around noon. I have to check some live bait traps at the lake across the street. I also have some snapping turtle lines set out.

I keep forgetting your age Jeff. You have $25,000.00 in gold bullion at four years old.

That’s only 781.25 ounces of gold. In 2008 prices, that will only be worth slightly more than $1,406,000.00 I need a lot more than that.

But you opened your account just five months ago!

It takes money to make money. I’ve been lucky.

See you tomorrow then.

Jeff went home and brought his father around to see his Bobcat and his GMC truck.

Dad, I needed these things for my business. I can’t turn my piles fast enough with a pitchfork, and I need to pick up spoiled vegetables from the wholesalers, also to deliver eggs, poultry, fish and fertilizer to the stores.

You can’t drive. You couldn’t see out the windshield or reach the clutch, break or gas pedal. That Bobcat looks too dangerous for you too. I won’t have you killing yourself back here.

Dad, I intend to hire a driver. There must be some 16 year old with a drivers license who would like to earn three dollars an hour.

You can pay someone $120.00 a week? You also need insurance and taxes.

I have my investment banker buying gold every once in awhile. I have gold as an investment. An ounce of gold costs $32.00 now. In 2008 that gold will sell for $1800.00 per ounce. It is an investment that is sure to pay off no matter how the economy fares.

How the hell did you get so smart? You’re only 4 years old. You provide all our eggs and chickens. I’m buying another freezer for in the basement. Mom was talking about canning meat. I would never have thought of getting my livestock feed for free from others waste. Now you want to hire employees. Too bad mom can’t drive. Her job is wrecking her hands. Oh yeah, I was on the phone with Alex. He would like a grow light setup and two of those tomato plants. I told him it would come to $95.00 tax included.

Great! Did you tell him it will be a couple weeks before I can provide the plants?

Yeah. He really likes you. He asked if you could build him another hive for the hive in his barn. He has no way to get the honey out of the wall.

You think we could put the hive with panels full of empty wax combs so it would cover the bees exit point? They would probably move out of the wall and into the hive in a week or two. But it would be dangerous, because they aren’t swarming. Also the queen may be reluctant to move. You should talk to the guy who owns the hives at the apple orchard on 30th street, behind the outdoor theater. He has over sixty hives. He was the one who showed me how to build the hive I made. He also gave me the empty combs for the panels. The original swarm at Alexes probably came from his house anyway. His name is Bob Honondale.

Sure, I can go over now. But first I want to move your Bobcat; so it’s out of the drive. Maybe we can think of some way you could operate it, but I think you need a few inches yet. I’ll drive there with your new truck okay? I’d like to get the feel of it. I haven’t driven a five speed in years.

I want to have J.C. Farms printed on the sides. Maybe on the end door too.

Yeah, it’s not only advertisement, but a hedge against theft. Mom, Debbie and you can do that when we get home.

I suppose, but I was thinking of a professional job. My business is a professional one. I was thinking of listing my products also. I was going to ask my investment banker to find me a reputable detailer.

It’s your business son. Perhaps you’re correct. Jeffs dad walked to the Bobcat. Where are the keys?

Truck glove compartment. Jeff was already in the truck cab and tossed his dad the keys. The Bobcat started right up and his dad drove it off. He parked it next to the piles of compost and walked back.

You might be able to drive the Bobcat. It’s not so far to the gas, and the break is a lever alongside the seat.

I know. I looked it over while we were talking. Plus this is private property; so I don’t need a drivers license. Maybe next year, if I can figure out how to cross the highway, I can cross Mr Curzies game farm and get to Mud Lake dragging a boat.

No way. That’s over a mile. You’re lucky I let you walk that far and fish off shore. Five kids drowned in that lake. I won’t allow you to do anything like that until you’re at least twelve; eight more years.

I never see anyone there. I set my turtle lines right on the beach and nobody ever messes with them.

Yeah, everybody with any brains is afraid of that pond. It is a straight walled hole 110 feet deep.

That’s why it has such big snappers in it. One morning I saw a snapper drown a coot by its foot. The thing started flapping like crazy and went under twice before it stayed under. It was real cool. The snapper heads stick out like little tree trunks.

Well let’s go to see your friend the beekeeper. What did you say his name was?

Bob. He’s an old guy with white hair. But he’s a nice guy. I’m sure you’ll like him. He sells big boxes of different types of apples for a dollar a box. He’s always grafting something or other. By his house he has trees with up to five varieties on a single tree.

How’d you meet this guy?

I was checking out the creek and saw his orchard. I stole an apple from him and he caught me. He charged me fifty cents for the apple, then offered me a job picking apples for him after I paid him. I told him I ran a farm myself and we became friends. I see him about once a week. There’s a swamp with Tiger Salamanders near his orchard. There’s so many salamanders that the city puts up signs on Drexel in fall when they cross the road at night. There’s millions of them.

Stealing is stealing. I hope he doesn’t say anything about it to me.

I didn’t think it was stealing, but he says he loses bushels of apples every year to thieves. I told him I was sorry, and I paid for it. He told me I can have any apple I find on the ground. He’s a nice guy dad, you’ll see. Jeff got into the truck and directed his father to Bobs orchard. The orchard was only 4 blocks away through the woods, but two miles away around the roads. It was only about 8 blocks from Alexes Game farm; so the hive in his barn probably came from Bobs hives.

Bob and his dad hit it off immediately. Bob was interested in the truck. He only had an old pickup truck. Chris mentioned the sweet tomatoes and Jeff was amazed to see his fathers salesman mode. Before they left, Chris had talked Bob into buying eight four/bank grow light setups and ten tomato plants. They also bought two boxes of windfall Macs for apple pies and preserves. Jeff paid for the apples. He figured he made $622.00 today off this one deal.

Maria, his banker, had gotten a sweet deal with the bulb and fixture manufacturers; so his markup was actually 100% and still beneath retail cost. He made $59.00 off every four bulb fixture and four grow light bulbs he sold, because of volume purchases. Maria was an excellent deal creator. He actually got everything for the retail price of a ballast in an electronics wholesaler; ‘so called anyway’. Maria was not above contacting directly to the manufacturer. Her payments were certified cashiers checks redeemable on demand. Always large orders; so the manufacturer could gear up in advance. Thousands of units are actually cheaper to create then smaller orders, because the manufacturer can create assembly lines dedicated to a constant demand.

The next day Jeff went to the printers to check out the glossy and directions. He had his logo: JC Farms on the top. above the picture of the plant. Beneath that was his disclaimer and the planting and pollination instructions. He ordered 100,000 copies, paid them and then went to the bank. He picked up the deed and told Maria what he needed on his truck. Leaving there he went across the street and checked his turtle lines.

He had three turtles that probably weighed 50 pounds all together, maybe 65 pounds. He was sure the biggest weighed 25 pounds or more. the others were about twenty each. Very big snappers. He took a draw string bag from his back pack and grabbing each turtle by the tail he got them into the bag. He used 250 pound test braided nylon, staked on one side and tied to a fairly large treble hook he’d baited with bird gizzard. The turtles were deeply hooked; so he simply cut the line close to the hook. He closed the bag and struggled to drag it home two miles. Once home he put the three turtles into a tub of clean water. They would stay in the water with no food for three days. After three days Jeff would tie a rope onto their tails, pull them a few feet off the ground, put a pail under them and cut their heads off with a bypass shear. He liked how his mother made the turtle. She pressure cooked it for an hour. Then breaded it with eggs and bread crumbs and deep fried it. She saved the pressure cooker water, boiled it down a bit and made turtle soup with water chesnuts and other vegetables in it.

Jeff was in a hurry to find a driver for his truck. He called the newspaper and put in an ad. The ad would run for one week. He asked for a high school student for a long term position with possibility of advancement. Drivers license with ability to pass a chauffeurs test. Starting Pay three dollars per hour with a raise after probation and annually. Part time to full time work as needed at JC Farms and listed his telephone number. He decided he would telephone interview before giving out his address. He ended up hiring his uncle Teds son Wally. The kid worked on his fathers farm, drove tractors and could handle the five speed like a professional driver. He could back it up into tight spaces and didn’t mind picking through the waste produce to get the best stuff for Jeffs pigs. He even separated out cabbage and small but good looking brussels sprouts, broccoli and other supplements for the steer. And he kept the truck clean after each use.

Maria was good at finding stores and cartons for his egg sales. He began selling goose eggs and chicken eggs. He had to hire kids to candle his eggs. His relatives came to the rescue again. Jeff was lucky that his mother had twelve sisters and brothers and his father was one of nine. He had hundreds of cousins. If an egg held up to a light showed a spot of blood, it was put into an incubator. Jeff had many birds. He also had many problems with his relatives being attacked by geese. Lucky they were relatives, nobody thought of any law suits but laughed it off.

Jeff still made up his feeds in one week lots. He used blends that maximized growth at all stages of life. The lights in the houses were controlled; so that a six week old chicken or goose was larger than any normally raised adult. After The birds were twice normal size they were released into the yard to scrounge. They were fed grasshoppers, caterpillars, mayfly larvae and other insects. His steer was nearing a size that could be butchered. The pigs were large also. Jeff decided to walk the steer. He was working three kids in bait catching and he decided to take the steer out to see them on a leash. There was nothing but a field of large purple clover and alfalfa between the three ponds and Jeffs farm. The entire walk would be about a mile, maybe one and a half miles. He grabbed a cattle prod to move the steer if it refused to walk.

CHAPTER TWO

During the walk Jeff noticed that the only property between his farm and the field was up for sale. This particular property was 5 acres like his parents. It didn’t have a poured basement like his parents. In fact it had no basement. The style of the house was a three bedroom Ranch, like his parents, but it was an earlier model. It was a gaudy burnt orange with cedar shake on two sides, with only two roof sections. Unlike his parents house that had four roofs with a short crown section in the middle. Jeff walked up to the front door with his steer following him and knocked. A short white haired woman opened the door.

Ha! I thought you were walking a cow. Who would walk a cow and how can I help you young man?

I’m Jeff Cooper. I wanted to ask you about your house. The sign says you are selling.

How old are you young man? How can you read my sign? You can’t be six years old.

I own JC Farms. You can see my drive right there. I fenced the whole thing off, because of my livestock and my fish ponds. How much are you looking to get for this property? I don’t particularly like the style, and I see you have no basement.

My husband died last month. We had no children. I was teaching, but I took a forced retirement. The place is too far out in the country for me, because I don’t drive. The place is paid for and is clear of debt, but I have a lot of stuff I don’t want. I need to get nine thousand for everything. There’s a large boat in the backyard, his fishing gear, his motorcycle, his toy car: a refurbished model T, our family station wagon and his boat hauling truck. Plus he has rifles and handguns, archery equipment and a lot of antique woodworking tools. Plus his regular tools. We only have one bedroom, one was his workroom and the other was my sewing room. The whole living room is filled with his junk. His welders, his tools and his worthless junk. Even the attic is full of traps and junk. I want to wash my hands of the lot. The bastard was drinking his scotch, even though the doctor said he should quit. If I said a word, I was a filthy whore and dirty stupid slut. He got up to hit me again and grabbed his chest. I watched him drop dead. I almost danced on his corpse. Fifty-one years of daily abuse. I don’t even want the sewing machines. I get social security and his railroad pension. All I want is a senior citizen community on 27th and Evergreen in Milwaukee. I will bank the nine thousand and relax.

Mamm I feel for you. I need this property. If I can use your phone and call my banker, I’m sure we can rescue you today. I’m sure my banker can have a moving van out here in less than an hour. I can pay you in cash immediately. Sorry about the steer. It’s fat. Before I butcher it I need to turn some of the fat into protein. That’s the reason I’m walking it. I’m kind of glad I stopped, because I’m only four and it weighs over fourteen hundred pounds. I have this cattle prod, but if it decides to bolt I could lose it for hours, or it could step on me.

You are four years old? Can you read and do math?

Sure I can read. I bet I do better math than you or any professor. I own my farm and my parents home. They don’t know. Their mortgage payments are being placed in the bank for them. I intend to gift them their deed for Christmas next year.

You don’t mind if I require proof. Tie off your cow and come inside. I have some books I want you to read for me and some math problems. I taught for over 40 years and I can’t count the number of 4 year olds who lied about reading. But I’ve only met three who could. If you can do math as good as me I’ll sign this property over to you for free. I have a PhD in math.

I wouldn’t say that if I were you. I wouldn’t hold you to that promise in any event. Bring your deepest diff calc book. I can recite all the functions in my sleep and I have a book of simplification functions I wrote last year. I use calculus to solve all my problems.

NO!!! It’s impossible. Prove it to me! She scurried off to her sewing room and returned with a thick calculus book. Read the preface and do any problem in the book. If you do the even questions, I can turn to the appendix and find the answer. Jeff took the book from her and began to read it out loud. Needless to say, she freaked.

You give me the most difficult problem you can find and I’ll solve it in my head. She chose a problem and Jeff stared at it for a full minute before giving the book back. Turn to the answer. It is fairly simple but it is also long. I don’t want you to have to remember my answer, and then compare your memory to my recitation. Jeff gave her two answers. It’s quadratic in one function. Notice the i, the correct answer is:… And he rapped out the correct answer, matching the books exactly.

Young man you have made this old ladies dream come true. I am honored to stand on the same planet with you for as long as I live. Albert Einstein couldn’t do that.

Anybody could do that if they wanted to enough. Let me use your phone; so I can call my investment banker. I’ll have her out here in fifteen minutes. She’ll bring the checkbook and her notary stamp. Don’t you want anything?

No. Except for meeting you it is only bad memories. I hated that man with every fiber of my being. He was mean, cruel, drunken, filthy, rotten and expected love. I met my students parents and the envy caused me to become ill. See this hand? He broke it. He broke my leg and my right arm. Sometimes he was calm for a month, but I was always walking on eggshells waiting for the blow up that was sure to come.

Why didn’t you leave him?

Because his threats were real. He smashed my hand the first time I left. He promised he would find me and did. Three years later, I begged him to let me leave and he broke my leg. I’m smart, or thought I was, but he promised me that no matter how long he spent in prison he would get out and kill me. I had him arrested and when he got out, he broke my arm. He had a restraining order against him but he kept me captive for two weeks. Made me call into the school and take my vacation with a pistol pressed to my temple. He lived to torment and rape me. I just want to be free of everything. If I get five years away from him it will be heaven on Earth.

You poor creature. My dad never hit my mother. But my dad is so strict that I run home when he whistles for me. It’s hard having a business and abandoning employees because your father needs you. I love both my parents but they aren’t good at math, physics, chemistry, or even zoology. My dad told me once that if a pedigree dog has a mixed breed litter it is messed up forever. As proof he said, I know of a woman married to a white man who was raped years ago by a black man. Now out of the blue she gave birth to a half black baby. I could have told him about adultery but why bother. The double helix was discovered three years ago, but my dad cannot understand genetics or the males role in conception.

Wow! You are a breath of fresh air young man. Here call your banker. Do you need privacy?

No, in fact when I get Maria on the phone I want you here to answer any questions; so she will be prepared when she gets here. She can also call a taxi cab; so they can take you and anything you may want with you to your new domicile. Once I begin cleaning this stuff out, if you find you need it, it may be gone.

Look, I told you I want nothing but the clothes on my back. He took what money he could find, but I squirreled money away. I’m even going to toss the dress I’m wearing. No more hand sewn clothes. He never let me buy anything. I even made my own under ware. If I never see another sewing machine, I will die happy. I don’t think I can spend the money I have. Plus I have my pension and my IRA, the beasts pension and SSI. I am set for life. They will take no more than 30% of my SSI monthly for rent, because it’s HUD housing. I have a lifetime of torture to forget.

Jeff called Maria and gave her the womans home address. He allowed them to talk privately for awhile, while he tied his steer to the skinny maple that grew in the front yard, found a pail and filled it with water from the hose. The steer had shit in the middle of the sidewalk; so Jeff hosed it off also.

The woman hung up the phone during this time, and when Jeff looked up she was standing in the bay window smiling at him. It sort of creeped him out. She was obviously very damaged. Hardly any of her teeth were left, and he was sure she saw the cow shit he hosed off the sidewalk. But she reminded Jeff of a bird. She kept smiling, and didn’t move even when Jeff walked back to the steer and stopped him from chewing on the maple. Jeff mouthed, ‘can I come in?’ She nodded. He went to the door and reentered.

Would you like anything to drink? I have coffee, bourbon, schnapps and whiskey. The coffee is mine. The rest belonged to the beast, but he would only start a fire in hell with alcohol.

You know I’m only a minor, but I feel like celebrating my meeting you. I drink black coffee, but a double of schnaps on the side may be good.

He made me build him abergutes with the schnapps and whiskey. Once I put in bourbon and he knocked out this tooth. She pointed to the left side of her upper gum. Or was it this one that time? Oh well he got them all little by little. God I’m glad he’s dead.

You know, it would probably help you to write a book. It may help other women also. You could have killed him when he held you captive after having a restraining order lodged against him. How many hand guns did he have?

I never knew. I’m afraid to look. At least ten. He had or you have at least that many rifles. Some of them are quite fancy. His boat is quite fancy. He had this built in sonar that says how deep the water is, and he claimed that fish made little blips on the screen. Some fancy-dancy stuff invented in WW2 to find German Subs.

My dad would like that. He writes fishing columns, and he’s the vice president of a fishing club. I make about $500.00 a week selling live bait.

He only used artificial lures; called himself a purist. I think he had an inboard motor, because he was always bitching about it, but he had about five or six outboards from 100 horsepower to small electric motors. I’ve bitten into so many bones and BBs that I never want another one of his fish or animals. The freezer is full. You can throw it all out.

Maria arrived minutes later. She introduced herself to the woman who called herself Karen Schmitz. She got out the paperwork and asked Jeff to leave. She told him to return when she called him.

Ms Karen, could I use your phone again? I need to call my dad. I have a feeling that he’s probably scared that my steer has drug me away. I don’t want him to worry.

For sure young man. I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble. In fact, since you’re so close to home, why don’t you walk your cow home. You can put it away and talk to your dad. I personally would like to meet him.

Okay mamm, but please don’t talk about math. My dad doesn’t know anything beyond remedial algebra. I never want him to feel beneath anyone. I am very careful with my parents. I love them too much to belittle their mentalities.

You are a very special person young man. But I would still like to meet a penultimate male genome in the flesh. He must be a very exceptional man. Has he ever struck you? No forget I asked. It would be impossible. It would be a sacrilege; impossible.

We’ll both be right back. Fifteen minutes at the most. Don’t leave Maria. Wait for me.

You’re the boss Jeff.

Jeff left and hurried home. He was putting the steer away when his father whistled from the back door. It startled the steer and it shoved Jeff. It caught Jeff off balance and he landed on his back in a cow pie.

Goddamn stupid cow! Now I have to bathe and change! Jeff quickly crawled backwards to avoid a hoof that would have crushed his shin. It is going to be a pleasure to grill you over a fire! Jeff got to his feet and entered the back door as his dad was approaching it.

Where the fuck have you been. I was going to whistle for the third time!

When you whistled last time the stupid cow knocked me into a pile of shit. Then it tried to stomp me. Now I have to quickly shower and dress. You have to come back with me. I can’t talk right now, it could cost the doubling of your property for free, plus you get a second house.

What the hell are you talking about son? Tell me. NOW!

"Wait Dad!!! I gotta clean up. Follow me and I’ll tell you. My banker is there now, but I gotta get back and I stink! When you whistled for me it startled the steer and it knocked me into a pile of cow pies. I told them I would be right back. How would you like 15 pistols? 10 or