The Journey Begins-Holly's Story

By P. A. Loder

After a failed Dominant/submissive relationship, HOLLY STANTON is forced to move back home with her family.

Determined to understand why she was unable to adapt, Holly sets out to learn everything she can about the lifestyle and in the process, she hopes to discover and correct her shortcomings. During the course of her research, she finds the concept of a true Dominant/submissive relationship fascinating and intriguing. Resolved to learn more, Holly finds herself at the door of a local BDSM club about to embark on the journey alone.

MASTER JASON WOODS is part-owner of Paradise Isles and instantly sees something in her he rarely sees in a newbie. His interest is piqued, and he assigns her training to a fun-loving guy who is a no-nonsense , by-the-book Dominant. MASTER MARKUS ANASTOS has trained submissives for years, but never a newbie. He firmly believes that when training a submissive, the training should be only about discipline and kink—never personal.

Once inside the dark and steamy world of BDSM, Holly finds the deep sense of belonging she craves, and the sensuality she never knew existed.

Unable to resist Holly's quiet beauty, Markus finds himself straying from his set-in-stone training protocols. The growing trust between the Dominant and submissive is threatened when a beautiful young woman enters Paradise Isles determined to destroy the budding relationship.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Sep 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524641542

P. A. Loder

P. A. Loder is a RN living in Florida with her husband of 33 years. They are members of an area BDSM club. She was born in the small steel town of Coatesville, Pennsylvania and she loves cheesesteaks. As a domestic violence survivor, she has always found solace and healing while getting lost in a good book. Her hope is to provide the perfect fantasy where others can get lost. The process of writing this book has been a healing experience as well as a labor of love. She is grateful for the wonderful people she has met on her journey. When asked about her favorite line in the books, she smiled and simply said: “You can ask me anything.”

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THE JOURNEY BEGINS

Holly's Story

P.A. LODER

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www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2016 P. A. Loder. All rights reserved.

Cover Design By: MihaelaJoeDesigns

Front Cover Photo By: Shibari

Back Cover Photo By: Marcus J. Ranum

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 09/27/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-4155-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-4153-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-4154-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016915953

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

DISCLAIMER: None of the scenes in this novel are meant to be instructional and should not be used as such. Dominants practice diligently to perfect their skills. There are instructional manuals available.

Contents

Acknowledgment

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

About the Author

OTHER BOOKS BY P. A. LODER

JOURNEY FROM SEDUCTION TO SUBMISSION

JOURNEY FROM SUBMISSION TO LOVE

JOURNEY FROM LOVE LOST

Acknowledgment

I would like to thank my husband of 34 years. Without your love and support, none of this would be possible. Doug, I love you. Special thanks to my children for tolerating and supporting my obsession with writing. Brian, Kevin, Jessica and Aimee-I love you. Thank you Misty for being not only my proof reader, but also my sounding board, and to my sweet music guru Melissa: Each time I called and described a scene, you never failed to come up with the perfect music. Nina, your friendship and encouragement is priceless. My deepest love and gratitude to you all.

Chapter 1

Shelley and I sip our coffee in silence. I know what she wants to say, and in my heart there’s no doubt she’s right, but she doesn’t understand my predicament. She’s married and her husband is a stand-up guy. I have neither luxury at the moment.

Holly, please, she pleads.

Shelley, I have no place to go. He wouldn’t let me leave even if I did. If he finds I’ve talked to you, or if you’re here when he gets home from work, the repercussions will be much worse.

That’s not exactly true. You can stay with Kevin and me. Believe me, Kevin would love nothing more than to use his taser on the ass and throw him in jail, but the Sheriff’s Department can’t do anything unless you swear out a complaint.

And then what happens when Jack gets out of jail, Shelley? Things are bad enough, and I certainly don’t want to make them worse. Besides, that’s a temporary fix. The fact of the matter is there’s nothing I can do. Unfortunately, I have no skills that could land a job good enough to support myself, and I’m a bit old to expect my parents to support me. Now I wish I would have listened to Mom and gone to college. Nervously, I glance at the clock. Shelley, please.

Okay, I’m going, but I don’t like it. I don’t like any of this.

I know Shell. I’ll call you tomorrow.

The moment Shelley walks out of the apartment, I clean up any evidence she was here and begin the daunting task of setting a proper table for dinner. With a great deal of care, I place the plate in the center of the placemat. The fork is centered on the placemat to the left of the plate. From the buffet drawer, I pull the tape measure and place the knife one inch from the right side of the plate on a neatly ironed and folded cloth napkin. The spoon is one inch from the knife. Jack’s water glass is one inch from the plate at one o’clock. His salt and pepper shakers are six inches from the plate at eleven o’clock. With equal care, I set an identical place setting on my placemat. I stand back, pleased with the results. This time I’m sure it’s right.

The door to our apartment flies open and I jump. Suddenly, my heart is in my throat.

Fucking sons of bitches are out to get me, I swear.

A rising panic threatens to choke me. This will not be a good night, I can tell already.

Holly, come here, he commands.

Jack glares, and the sudden sense of dread washes over me.

You’re not very bright, are you? I’d say you’re lucky you can manage to keep a cashiers’ job. Salt and pepper are at eleven o’clock—not ten. You have displeased me. What comes next?

A spanking, Sir?

His head shakes from side to side.

Afraid not, baby. Bring me the cane.

Oh please, Sir. The wounds on my backside are still bleeding from the other night.

Well, you should’ve thought of that when you were setting the table. There’s not much I ask of you.

I’m sorry, Sir, I whisper. Please.

Bring the sawhorse and this time you may pad it if you like.

The fear and panic are making me sick. My eyes close and I swallow hard. Since my punishment caning a few days ago, I haven’t been able to sit comfortably or lean against a chair. Showering is torture and now he’s going to cane me again. I walk into the spare room and drag the black and yellow plastic sawhorse out to the living room. As though prolonging the inevitable, I slowly cover the sawhorse with a folded blanket, strip and kneel.

Very good, baby. Bend over. I’m going to hit you five times.

The first three strikes are barely tolerable making my eyes water and the nausea worse. The fourth hits an already open area on my behind and I arch and scream as the excruciating pain floods my body. He grabs my hair and yanks my head back.

Quiet, we have neighbors, stupid.

It hurts, I whimper.

Honestly Holly, are you that damned dumb? It’s supposed to hurt. Again you disappointed me.

My mind is chaotically attempting to manage the pain. It’s staggering, and it’s not easing. The final blow hits harder than the ones before and my head is going to explode. Fearfully, I whimper as my peripheral vision darkens. Behind my closed eyes, my mind blocks out and shuts down. I’m nauseated and dizzy. In an attempt to regain my equilibrium, I open my eyes. Darkness again threatens and peripherally, the circle closes in on itself signaling the end just like in all those silly old cartoons. I think I’m dying, but at the moment, I welcome it. With death there will be no fear, only peace. The pain will be gone. From somewhere far away there’s shouting, swearing, crashing and then nothing.

A voice in the background is pulling me away from the peacefulness, and I resent the intrusion. The voices are familiar and comforting—my mother and Shelley. Somehow I need to find my way back. I want my mother. My eyes open and squint against the light.

Oh Holly, honey I’m so glad you’re awake.

Mom leans to kiss me.

Why are you here? I ask as I glance around the unfamiliar room. Damn, I know this place.

Shelley called to tell me what happened, and I booked a flight as soon as I could.

Why am I here? What happened?

Shelley steps forward and places a soft kiss on my cheek.

A neighbor called 911 when they heard you scream. Kevin was in the office and recognized the address, so he went on the call with the other officers. Jack tried to tell him you were fine, but Kevin forced the issue. The officers found you naked, bleeding and unconscious. The wounds on your backside and thighs are infected, and you were running a really high fever. You’ve been on IV antibiotics for two days. Why didn’t you tell me? Seriously Holly, I knew things with Jack were bad, but I had no idea they were this bad.

Jack said if I told you or Kevin, he would kill me. I had no place to go.

Holly, you could have come home.

Oh Mom, you and Dad are finally enjoying your life in Florida. I didn’t want to dump my problems on you.

Holly, that’s what family is for. As soon as you’re discharged, you’re coming home.

Kevin is on his way here to take your statement. Jack will spend time in jail for this, Shelley whispers. Your mom and I spent yesterday morning at the apartment. We packed up your things and they’re on their way to Florida via UPS. Shelley grins proudly and I laugh.

There’s no doubt Shelley and Kevin are the best friends I’ve ever had. Leaving them will be hard.

I’ll miss you, Shell, you’ve been my lifeline, I whisper trying hard to fight the tears.

Aw, me too, Holly.

Hey, cut it out. If the two of you cry, I’ll cry. Besides Shelley, you have a vacation destination now. My mother pulls her into a hug. You’ve been a good friend to our Holly, thank you.

Chapter 2

The wounds look pretty good, Holly. Unfortunately, I see two on your backside, and one at the top of your thigh that will probably leave a scar. The rest should heal nicely. Just keep using the cream I prescribed for another four weeks and they should be well healed by then.

My mother won’t let me slide even one night without the cream, I grin.

Well, lucky you. That is undoubtedly the reason the wounds healed as well as they have. You should thank her for lessening the scarring.

I will. Thanks, Dr. Gordon.

The moment I walk through the front door, my mother leads me to the dining table. I gratefully accept the mug of coffee she hands me with her ever-present smile.

What did Dr. Gordon say?

He said my wounds look good. He thinks there are only three that will leave a scar, and your vigilance with the cream he prescribed has kept the scarring down.

Well good, I was afraid they wouldn’t heal well after the infections. I have a bit of good news. We have a close friend, her name is Liz Gray, and she has a cleaning business. She said you can start working for her and she’ll even work around your college classes.

Oh wow Mom, that’s great. Most of the classes I’m looking at are evening classes.

Well, it sounds like this will all work out. Have you decided what classes you want to take?

No. I’m just working on the entrance exam, and then I’ll have a few prerequisites to get through. After the prerequisites, I can decide what my major will be.

I help Mom with dinner and the cleanup although sometimes I think she’d prefer I just stay out of her way. With the kitchen back to normal, we both join Dad in the family room.

My parents are early to bed and early to rise people and they always have been. The moment they go to bed I duck into my room to continue searching Google for anything BDSM. At first, it was simply morbid curiosity. Something deep inside needed to know and understand how I screwed up so badly with Jack and why I couldn’t seem to get anything right. It didn’t take long to realize our relationship had everything to do with abuse and absolutely nothing to do with the BDSM lifestyle. But as it happens, the more I researched, the more the concept of a Dominant and submissive relationship intrigued me.

During the course of my research, I was more than a little surprised to find a local BDSM club. Since I found their webpage, I’ve driven by several times. In all honesty, it looks like a typical family home. The huge red brick house is beautiful, and the large front porch and elegant pillars make it look like an old plantation home. It’s entirely possible the neighbors have no idea what’s inside. There’s no denying, the more I research, the more the entire concept fascinates me. Dominants and submissives have a unique bond and it’s something I want to learn more about, perhaps even pursue, but I’m not certain I’m brave enough to do this alone.

The Paradise Isles webpage announced a BDSM 101 for Beginner’s Class a week from Wednesday. The dungeon is closed Sunday through Wednesday so the class will not interfere with what they term play nights. Each time I think dungeon, The Man in the Iron Mask comes to mind and my stomach does that nervous little shudder. The pictures that form in my head are of dirty stone walls, old rusty chains and iron restraints and each time, my resolve to attend the 101 class slips.

Do I trust my research or will this be a leap from the frying pan into the fire? I close up my laptop and slide beneath the sheets. I’ve researched every evening since I arrived in Bradenton and I’ll continue until I understand, but it’s late and tomorrow I begin my new job. Right now, I need to sleep.

The moment Liz greets me, I like her. She’s quite conscientious and expects no less from her employees. This week I will shadow her to learn how she wants things done. At the end of our first day together, we return to her home, say our goodbyes and I drive back to Mom and Dad’s.

How was your first day at work?

It was good, Mom. Liz is training me to do things her way and then she’ll assign me my own jobs. I’ll have the same places to clean each week.

Did you have time to run by the college?

Yes. I passed the reading and English part of the entrance exams, but I have to take the equivalent of high school math before I can start the college classes. Math never was my strong point. After that, I can start the prerequisites for whatever I choose to do. I haven’t made a final decision yet. Do you think I’d like being a court reporter? Oh, and I’m taking an introduction class next Wednesday evening. As nonchalantly as I can manage, I slip the last part into the conversation. Glancing down, I say a little prayer that her mind is still on court reporting and the last sentence will go unnoticed.

Being a court reporter sounds interesting, Holly. Introduction to what?

Well, it’s kind of a 101 class.

Oh, okay.

I pull my car into a parking stall and gaze at the elegant but daunting two-story brick mansion. Nervously, I sit and admire the beautiful building as I try to breathe in a bit of much needed courage. Do I honestly want to do this alone? If I don’t go in, I’ll lose my nerve and then I’ll never know. Inhaling a deep breath, I climb the steps to the front door.

A good-looking man sits behind a desk in the entrance. He glances up and flashes me a warm smile the moment I step through the ornately carved door and into the elegant and tastefully decorated entry. Jeez, maybe I have the wrong house.

Welcome, can I help you?

Ahh, I’m not sure. Is this where I take the 101 class?

It is.

Oh good, I have to admit this is not what I expected.

I’m Bruce. The breakroom is right through that door, he says pointing to a small room off the entrance. There’s coffee and snacks.

Thank you, but I’m fine. I’m Holly.

Well Holly, follow me and I’ll show you to the classroom.

I follow Bruce through another heavy and equally ornately carved door and stop dead in my tracks.

The dungeon is pretty amazing, Bruce chuckles. Just follow me. You’ll have the opportunity to tour the dungeon after the class.

I do as I’m told and follow Bruce down a corridor at the back of the immense main room. He opens the last door on the left and I step into a regular old classroom not unlike any other classroom across the country. This place is full of surprises. It’s not at all what I expected. Four couples are already seated in the front row and are chatting quietly. Briefly, they gaze in my direction and my uneasiness spikes when I realize I’m the only one here alone. Nothing on the webpage said I couldn’t take the class alone. Self-consciously, I slide into a chair in the second row closest to the door. Now I’m having serious second thoughts. Maybe I should just slip out quietly and hope my departure goes unnoticed. I stand and pick up my purse just as the door opens. Four men—the term men seems inadequate and ordinary for this group. These gentlemen stride in all broad shoulders and slim waists. Without a doubt, they are four of the most beautiful men I’ve ever laid eyes on. They possess a calm and relaxed air as they step into the room—almost arrogant, but not quite. All four men are dressed in snug black jeans and black long-sleeved dress shirts. Even if my research hadn’t been extensive, I would have known without a doubt these four men are Dominants and I’m instantly intimidated.

There is a manner about them that almost screams Dominant. Somehow, it’s scary but more exciting than scary. Wow, a real Dominant in person. After all the research, it’s as though I’ve just been up close and personal with Bruce Springsteen. Embarrassed, I take my seat. The tall blonde Dominant with beautiful blue eyes smiles and I realize I’m gawking with my mouth open. Thank goodness I didn’t drool. Jeez—a little self-control would be nice.

Good evening and welcome. This is BDSM 101. This class is not meant to be instructional, simply informative. Let’s begin with names. First names are all that is required.

Each of the couples stands together and introduces themselves as I wait. The room quiets. Before I’m ready, it’s my turn to introduce myself to this room full of strangers. The man who stands behind the desk in this small classroom waits patiently. He’s tall and regal with piercing blue eyes. As improbable as it may be, his eyes seem to soften when his gaze finds mine, and they convey a message meant only for me. Without words, he tells me I’m safe here. Finally, with trembling knees, I stand. Every pair of eyes in the room is on me.

Hello, my name is Holly. I just relocated from upstate New York. Quickly, I take my seat.

Welcome Holly. I’m Master Jason. Welcome to you all. Let’s begin with the basics. What is a Dominant? Technically, according to Google, we are governing, commanding, authoritative, forceful and pushy. He chuckles and his gentle laugh makes me smile.

What is a submissive? Everyone’s idea of a submissive is different because each submissive comes into the lifestyle for reasons that are uniquely their own. For some it’s a role play fantasy, and for others it may be sexual fantasies. It may be they have very specific fantasies, but their heads tell them they must be crazy to want such a thing. When they submit to their Dominant, it takes the responsibility off the submissive and places it squarely on the Dominant. A true submissive serves her Master from her heart and her head. To love is to obey, and the concept goes back to biblical times. Now for the most often asked question. What is a Dom/sub relationship? A Dom/sub relationship is quite complex. In some ways, it’s more complex than any other relationship, and quite often more fulfilling. A Dominant exerts his will over his submissive, however, he can only go as far as his submissive is willing to allow. What does that mean? Well, simply put, a submissive is the source of power in any relationship. He or she can willingly relinquish themselves to their Dominant or they can simply say no, usually in the form of yellow or red. In the case of red, no means no. Without exception, the scene must stop. If I had to define the relationship in fifteen words or less, it would be this: The Dominant is the guiding force in a game of role playing for pleasure.

His gaze seeks me out and I squirm.

"This is a consensual relationship. So the logic in this is simple. The submissive has the power to submit and the power to refuse. Without his or her willingness, there cannot be a power exchange and therefore there cannot be a relationship. A submissive is not weak or needy or subservient as most people believe, but strong in his or her own right. They are not submissive but strong enough to submit freely. That is not a contradiction in terms, I promise you. The power exchange is not possible unless the submissive willingly, and I emphasize the word willingly, gives herself without question to her Dominant. In a scene, submissives typically find that handing over power to their Dominant and feeling powerless in erotica is as relaxing as a day at the spa. As Dominants, it is our job to make decisions concerning the scene. The only responsibility the sub has is to relax and enjoy what they’re experiencing because we, as Dominants will protect a submissive in all things. The relationship is based on complete and unwavering trust. Without it, there is no relationship. Remember SSC—safe, sane and consensual." He stands.

We will have a fifteen-minute meet and greet in the dungeon. If you have questions, three other Master Dominants are here to help. Master Michael, Master Steven and Master Markus, will you please stand. They are here to answer any questions you may have. Please feel free to wander around the dungeon and ask questions.

I stand ill at ease and decide that now is the perfect time to make a hasty escape. Coming here alone was obviously a monumental mistake. For as much as this concept fascinates me, there’s no way I belong here.

Holly, his voice is deep and warm and stops me in my tracks.

Yes Master Jason.

Come sit with me.

My hasty escape has been foiled. Apprehension bubbles from deep within me. Nervously, I take the seat next to him.

Why are you here, little one?

I’m not sure, Sir, I whisper.

Master Jason is tall, with those penetrating blue eyes that seem to search my soul. His demeanor is intimidating, but when he smiles, there is something safe and comforting in his presence.

Stand, he commands.

Without thought, I comply. He towers over me. With no warning, his hand slides up the back of my head, grasps my hair and pulls my head back, leaving me breathless and with weakened knees. Yes, this is the control I crave, and without a second thought, I’m his to do with as he wishes, and I like it.

I want you to go to the breakroom and bring me a coffee—no cream, no sugar. When you bring it back, bring it balanced on your left hand, understand?

I nod and walk quickly to the breakroom. With trembling hands, I pour the coffee into a styrofoam cup. I place it on my left palm and balance it at the base with my right hand. Cautiously, I walk back to him.

Perfect, little one.

His praise warms me and I smile. How does he make me feel so important with only three little words? For some unknown reason, I want to stay near him. This is the safest place on earth. There is a sudden sense that nothing can hurt me when I’m in his presence.

You were in an abusive relationship.

The sentence is more a statement than a question and I automatically shake my head, but I’m halted by his gaze.

Yes, I confess.

Your reaction to the hair grab and the way you brought back my coffee tells me you are suited to submission. Do you wish to proceed with this?

Yes Sir.

Very well, come with me.

I follow Master Jason across the room.

Master Markus, this is Holly. She’s new to us and the lifestyle and wants to train to be a submissive.

Master Markus’ eyes seem to question Jason and then he nods decisively. He takes slow and deliberate steps around me and I squirm awkwardly. Staying in Master Jason’s company is much more comfortable. Master Markus’ hand slides up my head leaving me breathless and weak-kneed for a second time, and then I’m gazing into deep, sexy and intimidating brown eyes.

So little bit, you want to be a submissive?

Yes Sir, I whisper breathlessly.

Well, I would like a cup of coffee.

Inwardly, I grin. I can do this. Quickly, I scoot off to the breakroom. I approach the two men with the coffee cup balanced on my palm. Master Markus takes the cup and I await the praise for a job well done, but instead he hands the cup to Master Jason. He tips my chin to meet his gaze and grins, flashing the most adorable and pronounced dimple in his left cheek. Damn, he’s beautiful—deep, dark eyes and a full, pouty mouth I really want to kiss.

I take my coffee with a little cream.

With an embarrassed flush, I mutter an apology and again scoot off to the breakroom.

Thank you, he murmurs.

You’re welcome, Sir.

This has been your first lesson, little bit. Tell me what you’ve learned.

My mind scrambles. This is like a pop quiz and I’ve never been good at pop quizzes. Finally, it comes to me and I grin proudly.

Never assume, Sir. It makes an ass out of … oh crap. Oh God, I’m sorry, Sir. I stutter and flush. A usually well hidden but very wise part of my brain stops me in mid-sentence, and I say a quick thank you prayer. I don’t suppose that’s the right answer.

Oh, but it is, little bit. I just didn’t expect you to voice it in quite that way.

Master Jason’s hand covers his mouth to stifle the laugh his eyes can’t hide. My cheeks heat and I lower my gaze, but Markus’ soft chuckle eases my acute discomfort and I smile with them.

Okay Markus, I’ll leave you to it, Jason laughs.

Well Holly, shall I give you a tour?

Yes Sir, I’d like that.

This is obviously the bar. Master Jason and Master Michael are the owners of Paradise Isles, and they have a two drink limit. The bar has bottled water and sodas. A submissive may stand at the bar to order a drink, but they’re not to sit at the bar alone—only if accompanied by a Dominant. They are however, free to sit anywhere else in the room.

Master Markus grasps my hand. A static charge shocks my skin and I gasp in response.

These are the open play areas. When not in use, they’re available to anyone. The back corridor houses private scene rooms. They are set up by appointment. The classroom we were in earlier is actually a scene room. Please feel free to use your imagination to figure the scenes played out in that room. Do you know what scenes are?

His question is one of curiosity, not sarcasm.

Kind of—maybe.

Well, we’ll work on that. Have you filled out the paperwork?

No.

Holly, your answer is rather abrupt. I would prefer No Sir or No Master, he corrects.

No Sir.

When you finish with the paperwork, make certain you read the rules. The most important to all of us is if you’re here alone, Bruce or one of the Dominants will walk you to your car. No submissive should walk alone after dark. You’ll be given the club’s cell number. If you arrive after dark, you will call the number and Bruce will escort you into Paradise Isles from your car. Understood?

Yes Sir.

Okay, come and you can fill out the paperwork. I will see you back here on Friday evening at eight. At that time, we will begin your training.

Yes Sir, I whisper trying without success to hide my building excitement.

He leads me to the entrance and Bruce hands me a clipboard.

On Friday evening the fun will begin. I’ll see you then, little bit. When you complete the paperwork, Bruce will see you to your car.

Thank you Sir.

Chapter 3

Mom, please.

Holly, I don’t like you going out alone after dark.

Mom, I’m meeting a friend I met at the 101 class. It’s near the yacht club in Palmetto. Don’t worry.

Fine. My mother turns and walks away from me just as she’s done throughout my life. When she’s not happy, no one is happy.

It’s okay Holly, I’ll talk to her. Go and have a good time, Dad says quietly.

Oh Dad, I’m twenty four years old. This is why I moved out before. I understand she worries, but she doesn’t want me out of her sight after dark. My classes start next week and those are night classes. This is becoming stifling.

I know. I’ll talk to her.

When I pull into the parking stall in front of Paradise Isles, the clock on the dash reads eight fifteen. I take a deep breath, climb the steps to the porch and walk through the front door. When I hand over my cover charge, Bruce’s frown is unnerving.

Holly, I gave you the number to the cell phone I carry. It’s after dark. Why didn’t you call me?

I’m sorry. I forgot about it.

Holly, you read the rules. If this happens again, I’ll have no choice but to report the incident. His voice is stern and the frown lines between his eyes deep.

Okay, I’m sorry.

Please don’t let it happen again. Master Markus is waiting for you at the bar.

Yes Sir.

The moment I step into the dungeon, I’m taken aback. The lights are dimmed. Music is playing, and something is happening everywhere I look. The endless hours of research did not prep me for this.

Are you coming or going?

Caught off guard, I startle and glance up into the warm brown eyes of Master Markus and smile.

Coming Sir.

Oh little bit, I hope so. Come, I’ll get you a glass of wine. There’s a great deal to cover tonight.

Yes Sir, I answer and lower my gaze. Not so much because it’s emphasized in everything I’ve read, but more to hide the flush I feel rising in my cheeks.

With wine glass in hand, I follow as Master Markus leads me to a sofa not far from the bar.

Sit.

Without hesitation, I tuck my leg under me and sit facing Markus. For a moment, we seem to study each other. Markus is perfect, and when he smiles, his good looks simply stun my senses. Everything about him is beautiful—his face, his eyes, his smile and especially the deep dimple. His chest and arms clearly bulge with well-defined muscles. Just being in his presence is scary and exciting at the same time.

Little bit, are you ready to begin?

Yes Sir.

To begin with, I am a Dominant, Holly. Keep in mind you requested this. You asked to be trained as a submissive. If at any time you decide it’s not what you want, you only need to tell me. Under no circumstances are you obligated. This is a consensual relationship. Remember, you have safewords. Don’t hesitate to use them if you feel the need. If you say yellow, I will stop whatever we’re doing and check on you. That does not mean the scene will stop altogether. That’s a judgment call—my judgment call. However, if you say red, everything will stop. Do you understand?

Shyly, I nod my understanding. Google explained safewords, and I’m pretty sure I understand how to use them.

Know and understand I will push you, but it will build trust. At first, it may be difficult to understand, but you will gain the certainty that I will never push you past your limits, and I will not hurt you beyond our agreed discipline. In return, I will gain the knowledge that you trust me enough to submit no matter what I ask you to do. Know too that I will discipline and punish you. Do you understand the difference?

I shake my head. After all, I thought they were one and the same.

With the discipline, you will learn how and what pleases me. The discipline is the means to an end. That is accomplished through repetitive behaviors and reminders. The punishments are for the most part, exactly what you think they are. Punishments are the end result when you displease me. Know too that my promise is I will never abuse or belittle you and if you submit, the pleasure will far outweigh the punishments.

Immediately my stomach does a cartwheel as memories of Jack’s punishments flash through my mind.

Are you sure you want to do this, little bit? There is a bit of wariness in your eyes, but that’s natural.

Words evade me. All I can do is nod. He runs his knuckles gently over my cheek. The contact is welcome, but the sweet gesture catches me off guard. Somehow it doesn’t seem Dominant-like. Throughout the research, I was under the impression Dominants were all gruff and pushy. He smiles.

Ah little bit, I believe you’ve read too many books on the lifestyle. Consensual brutality is an intricate part of some BDSM relationships, but not with me. A Dominant exerts power, but he can only go as far as his submissive will allow. My hope is to earn your emotional, as well as mental and spiritual trust. If I do my job correctly, you’ll never need to use your safewords. I will teach you to submit, but in the process, you will also learn to be strong, independent and alluring. Are you willing?

That seems contradictory, Sir.

Perhaps, but it’s true. When you truly submit, it will be because you choose to submit, not because I command it. This training is simply a means for you to find and embrace your submissive side. My only demand is you follow my rules, and I demand your respect. As I gain your trust, you will find I demand nothing demeaning or dangerous. Simply put, you must do what I tell you to do without question. As our training progresses, you will find there is a reason for everything. As a rule, you need not concern yourself with the reason, at least not during your training period. Your submission pleases me and then it will be my turn to please you. Are you still with me?

Even though I’m uncertain I truly understand any of this, I nod. Some of what he says still sounds contradictory.

I don’t have many rules. The first is, when we’re here at Paradise Isles, you sit at my feet unless otherwise instructed.

Slowly, I glance up and as though reading my thoughts, his eyes soften.

This is not to degrade you, little bit. When you kneel at my feet, you’re mine. I can watch over you—protect you and believe it or not, you will experience a certain comfort and safety being with me.

Yes Sir, I murmur.

The second rule may be a bit more difficult to master, but it’s one I expect you to follow unwaveringly. If I instruct you to do something, you will obey without a moment’s hesitation. There will never be an argument or second thought. You will simply do what I ask without question. Do you understand?

I nod and my reward is his beautiful smile and deep dimple.

As far as punishments go, I favor several non-corporal methods. The methods are determined by the severity of the infraction. Corporal punishments are most often spankings. Rarely do I use an implement unless the infraction is a major violation that puts you or someone else in danger. Do you have any questions so far?

Not really a question Sir, but may I make a request?

Markus gives me a sharp nod, and I inhale.

Well Sir, I’ve done a great deal of research, and I understand punishments are inevitable, especially in the beginning. Please don’t use a cane on me. I can handle spanking and perhaps even a paddle, but I could not handle the cane again.

But I thought you said you were new to this. Who used a cane?

My ex, and after the last time, I was in the hospital for three days. He told me he was a Dominant. The more I researched, the more I realized he was clueless.

All right little bit, caning is a hard limit. Now, let’s begin. There’s a cushion tucked under the sofa. Pull the cushion out and take your position.

Okay, this is it. I stand, pull the cushion out next to his right foot and kneel next to him with my legs tucked beneath me. At first, his hand rests on my head and then he strokes my hair and an immediate and overpowering sense of safe comfort sweeps over me. Sighing, I lean against his leg. The way I react to him is confusing, but it also fascinates me. Everything I’ve read emphasizes the trust and safety aspect of a Dom/sub relationship, and I feel it now. I enjoy this, I really enjoy this.

Holly, look at me. His tone is quiet, but sharp and I obey without thought.

Hands flat on your thighs. Good girl. Now, you had two infractions this evening, both punishable. Do you know what they are?

Damn. I shake my head, suddenly fighting a rising panic. How could I screw up already and not understand what I did wrong?

The first was walking into Paradise Isles alone after dark. Bruce didn’t tell me. I happened to be in the breakroom when he warned you. What time did I tell you to meet me?

Eight, Sir.

That’s right. I said eight, not eight fifteen. If you’re late, I worry. Don’t make me worry. There will be punishments tonight because you must learn to manage my expectations. You must also understand what happens when you don’t. Holly, I mean what I say and I say what I mean.

A part of me wants to explain I’m only late because my mother made a scene before I left, but I hold my tongue. Something tells me the why of the situation wouldn’t make any difference to Markus.

"Okay little bit, I want you to stand, take off your shoes and place them on the floor at the other end of the sofa. When