Speak All Evil

By Matthew McCain

How do you define yourself after everyone else has told you who they think you are? You tell them the truthno matter what the cost. With every secret, every lie, and every confession linked together, you hold nothing back. Express everything you feel and hope that when all is said and done, the damage is manageable.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 8, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524532208

Matthew McCain

Matthew McCain is the author of a dozen books including The Hunting, Scribbles: A Drug Story and Just Under Nine. He lives in Hooksett, NH.

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 by Matthew McCain. 747273

Edited by: Maura Ryan

ISBN:   Softcover     978-1-5245-3221-5

             EBook         978-1-5245-3220-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Rev. date:

08/08/2016

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

Contents

In The Beginning

A Comedian’s Brain

Empty Page

You Did This To Me

Satellites

Falling Back On You

The Last In Line

Broken?

Bin Laden Didn’t Survive?

God Doesn’t Exist…?

My Heart Is Satisfied?

God Takes Everything We Love?

Mankind Can Be One…?

We’re The Same?

Sober?

Questions

I’m

The Apocalypse Of My Own Subconscious

What Can I Say (Old Habits Die Hard)?

Resistance

The Faggot

Confession

Crashing High

Tainted Moonlight

The Eye

Wheels Keep Turning

Be My Painkiller

Suicide Is Painless

I’m Not That Type of Guy

Hide with The Lord

No Coming Back

Image in The Mirror

Thunder in The Distance

Darkness

The Lonely Generation

Nobody

Let Them Go

How You Feel

Die Like You Were Living

Stand Together

Who We Love

The End Of Forever

Good Night

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In The Beginning

In the beginning I never cared for reality

In the beginning I never wanted to be more then satisfactory

In the beginning I never thought about mortality

In the beginning I just didn’t care

My past should’ve made me more aware

But inside I accepted the fact some things just aren’t fair

In the beginning I never believed in love

I never took the time to think about if God was above

I just feared when I would receive another fatherly shove

In the beginning I was abused

My trust was misused

And my face was black and bruised

In the beginning I was just another line crossed

And was dealing with a traumatizing loss

At a horrifying cost

In the beginning I never believed

In the beginning I never tried to achieve

In the beginning I never received

And in the beginning I never had the energy to breath

Because in the beginning

My dark world never started spinning

In the beginning I always wanted a friend

In the beginning I had to learn how to be pretend

In the beginning I just wanted it to end

In the beginning there wasn’t much hope

I didn’t think I’d make it down such a steep slope

Because halfway down I wanted to cut the rope

In the beginning I always wanted more

But life quickly became a bore

And fighting to stay alive just became a chore

In the beginning I lost a large part of my family

And a piece of my sanity

That’s left it unable to show I have any type of humanity

In the beginning I wanted everything to be replaced

So I could have a smile put on face

As I prayed that the dark past would simply be replaced

In the beginning I cried

In the beginning I lied

In the beginning I started to decide

In the beginning is where I should’ve died

Because in the beginning

I was doing everything but learning how to be forgiving

With no one by my shoulder

With my world getting colder

I just wanted the beginning to be over

I always wanted something

But the beginning gave me nothing

In the beginning I wanted to be deleted

In the beginning everything got depleted

In the beginning I retreated

In the beginning there were a few good days

A small part of hope decided to stay

But compared to the rest, that’s still not much to say

In the beginning I had to hide

And discover you’re not born with pride

But somehow I learned to look on the bright side

In the beginning nothing was simple

Most of the light began to dwindle

Yet somehow I learned how to remain civil

In the beginning nothing was clear

I had a lot of doubts and fears

But I learned how to hide all my tears

In the beginning I never received a happy ever after

In the beginning I watched everything shatter

In the beginning I lost everything that mattered

And in the beginning I just wanted to skip all of life’s chapters

But if it wasn’t for all those moments in the beginning

I never would’ve taken the time to learn how to start living

A Comedian’s Brain

Dying in defeat

I watch the light deplete

I use to get laughs

I use to give autographs

But all I have now is broken, bloody glass

As the blood begins to pour

And slowly start to cover the floor

I can’t help but think I have to cut more

With death on my mind

My thoughts just can’t seem to unwind

Despite so many who say I’m funny and kind

Now all I have is an empty closet

And a dream to be real and honest

And with so many feelings I’ve felt

And so many hands I’ve been dealt

I stand up and begin to tie a noose into this worn out belt

As I look at myself in my teary refection

I realize I’ve lost all connection

I’ve always been told my presents is soft and warm

But little has anyone realized that inside I feel tired and worn

And wish I was never born

It’s scary to think someone who can put a smile on any face

Thinks of himself as a worthless disgrace

But despite what I feel on the inside

The only thing that’s shown to the public is my joyful pride

And my comedian style disguise

All clever comedians

Have dark feelings in our hearts beating

And the face we put on is deceiving

Some days I wish I was able to take off