Winning the Bipolar Battle

By Leon Andrew Brumfield

This book tells of a twenty-year battle with bipolar disorder and how Leon Brumfield has overcome the challenges. God's mercy and grace have blessed Leon to not just cope with the disease but to excel against all odds. Although Leon had to be hospitalized in maximum-security hospitals on numerous occasions, he has flourished spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Some of Leon's victories in this timespan include obtaining his MBA, having a successful marriage, being the proud father of a beautiful ten-year-old girl, and preaching the gospel for over twenty years. Leons motto is, If you want something you never had, you must do something you have never done. Leon stresses that all things are possible to those who believe. He demonstrates to bipolar families that bipolar can be conquered by the power of Jesus Christ. Bipolar does not have to be a persons end. Bipolar has been a stepping stone for Leon, and he encourages people that the bipolar mountain can be climbed through persistence, dedication, and an open heart.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 20, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514430590

Leon Andrew Brumfield

Leon Andrew Brumfield was born February 6, 1968, in Fort Worth, Texas, to the proud parents Rev. J. W. and Dorothy Brumfield. Leon is the fourth of five children. Throughout grade school, Leon excelled. In the fifth grade, he won the prestigious Daughters of the American Revolution award. He was the first African American to win the award in school history. In the seventh grade at Dunbar Middle School, Leon won the school’s spelling bee and finished seventh in the state spelling bee. Leon was voted by his peers as the Most Outstanding Boy of the Year in the eighth grade. Leon went on to attend Dunbar High School. He played varsity tennis for two years and was also the Math and Computer Science Club’s president. Leon continued to excel by finishing fourth out of 252 graduating seniors. Leon received a full five-year academic scholarship to Texas A&M University. He majored in electrical engineering and completed the requirements to receive his bachelor of science degree in May 1991. Throughout Leon’s college days, he interned through INROADS with TU Electric Company. Leon also pledged Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity in his freshmen year. Leon accepted the call to the gospel ministry and preached his first sermon at St. Matthews Baptist Church in February 1991, in College Station, Texas, where Rev. M. O. Cooper is the pastor and his second father in ministry. After graduation, Leon accepted a position of engineer with TU Electric. Leon worked for four years at TU and went on to work for two years with Siemens ElectroCom Automation. In 1992, Leon attended Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and put hours toward a master of divinity degree with a biblical languages track. In 1997, Leon joined the FedEx team. Leon has now been with FedEx for eighteen years and is currently a technical advisor. In addition, that year Leon joined Mount Horum Baptist Church, Fort Worth, Texas, under the tutelage of Dr. F. S. Moody Sr., where he has served since 1997. Leon was ordained to preach the gospel in August 1999, at Mount Horum. He graduated from the University of Phoenix with master of business administration in April 2011, with a GPA of 3.7. Some of Leon’s accolades are that he was recognized by Biltmore Who’s Who Among Outstanding Executives and Professionals 2011; he has worked with youth in various capacities, such as youth minister, adopt-a-school tutor, National Engineers Week speaker, and INROADS mentor; he has written and produced four CDs; he has faithfully served as secretary of the Fort Worth Eastside Interdenominational Ministerial Alliance; he has published poetry and been recognized by the International Society of Poetry as a renowned poet; and he is a member of the Prince Hall Free and Accepted Masons. However, most of all, Leon is a servant of the Most High God and a devout follower of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

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Copyright © 2016 by Leon Andrew Brumfield.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 04/18/2016

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CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1: The Shocking Reality

Chapter 2: Preparing for the Bipolar Journey

Chapter 3: Admitting There Is A Problem

Chapter 4: Suffering through an Episode

Chapter 5: Enduring through the Night

Chapter 6: Midnight Thanks

Chapter 7: A New Day to Get Right with God

Chapter 8: Lord, You Blessed Me

Chapter 9: When the Joy Seems To Be Lost

Chapter 10: Lord, Restore Your Salvation

Chapter 11: Delight for a Troubled Soul

Chapter 12: The Reason for My Season

Chapter 13: Forgetting Yesterday and Living Today

Chapter 14: Do Not Allow Circumstances to Stop Your Purpose

Chapter 15: Is Love Enough?

Chapter 16: Real-Time Answers for Real-Time Problems

Chapter 17: When Things Are Going Too Right

Chapter 18: A Word to the Wise

Introduction

In life, there are two sides to every coin. Bipolar disorder is no exception. People are quick to knock the disease, but there is a side of bipolar that many fail to acknowledge. Great actors and actresses, great scientists, great poets, great athletes, and great people of all backgrounds have been diagnosed with this unique illness.

My hope with this book is to show how my twenty-year battle with the disease has completely transformed my life. I will share with you my struggles and successes. God makes no mistakes, so I know there is a reason why I have experienced my many bipolar episodes. My diagnosis does not mean I am not blessed and highly favored. Matter of fact, I am living the blessed life because I refuse to accept negativity.

I have been hospitalized several times and have suffered tremendously, yet I am more than a conqueror through Christ. Not only did I graduate from Fort Worth Dunbar High School fourth out of 252 students, but I also graduated from Texas A&M University with a degree in electrical engineering. I have worked for over twenty years as an engineer and software developer.

I started writing this book to show young and old that anyone can succeed with the proper direction, inspiration, and dedication. Philippians 4:13 offers a fundamental and sound truth: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I hope to encourage parents who have a bipolar child or children, people around the world who are a part of the bipolar family, and people in general. We share a common bond that brings all races, genders, creeds, and kinds together in learning how to cope and excel with this disease.

For those readers who are bipolar, please know that there is a balanced level for every bipolar person. A combination of meds, exercise, and much-needed rest will assist a person in remaining well balanced and well rounded.

I understand my body, and all of my episodes have occurred either in the autumn or the summer seasons of the year. Since I know I am most vulnerable that time of year, I look for subtle changes in my body. At one time in my life, I was taking a total of forty-three pills a day—lithium, Depakote, Neurontin, Geodon, benztropine, Loxapine, and a whole host of others. Yet I defied the odds by obtaining my MBA from the University of Phoenix in 2011–even though, by the way, I had an episode in 2009 that caused me to stop working on my MBA for a year and a half.

What if Abraham Lincoln refused to cope and overcome the bipolar odds? Where would this country be today? What if scientists like Ludwig Boltzmann and George Cantor gave up their scientific dreams? What if actors, comedians, singers, poets, and other blessed and talented bipolar people failed to pursue their dreams? Where would this world be today?

I want to encourage you that no matter what your condition is, you can succeed. I defied the odds, and so can you. You can see the glass as half full and live a blessed life, or half empty and live a cursed life. I choose the blessed life and invite you to choose it too. I have had several good things as well as negative things happen to me. I accept the negative, see what things I can change if possible, and appreciate the positive things and focus on them.

The average person can have eight good things happen in a day and two negative things, and that person will dwell on the negative things. I admonish you to focus on the good things. At times, my mind has been filled with what if, could have, and should have. It is easy to spend countless hours thinking about what I could have done differently. I have told several people off in my mind when they crossed me. I have wasted valuable time on my pride.

I recently read a book called Your Best Life Now that talked extensively about forgiveness. If we don’t forgive others, how can we expect to be forgiven ourselves? Instead of wasting precious time on scenarios that have already happened, I learned to forgive and move on with my life.

Free your mind and enjoy some peace. Release negativity’s foothold, and take your mind back from the devil. As rational people, we have to insist that our minds won’t be the devil’s playground. It’s possible to take the positive parts of bipolar and toss the negative aside. Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise and can be conditioned into top form.

Racing thoughts are sometimes the result of not freeing our minds. In this book, I share both sides of the coin—my triumphs and my disasters. I have struggled through life, but I am an overcomer. Going to college and doing well is not an easy thing, but bipolar is the biggest challenge I have faced thus far. Whenever I think I am over the illness, up pops another episode. I date the majority of my episodes from when something big has occurred in my life—being in grad school, having a big assignment on the job, getting married, and my wife being pregnant have all caused major episodes in my life.

The blessed side of my life is what I have been able to accomplish. All of my episodes started out in the manic phase. In this phase, I have done amazing things—but only if I could find a balance between the manic and depressed sides. I believe I have found that balance. Read this book and understand how you can bounce back from anything.

I understand that I am just an ordinary guy doing extraordinary things. I attribute my success to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My episodes usually coincide with spiritual encounters. I feel myself getting closer to God. I begin to lose sleep because of my productivity, and wham! These events kick off an episode. By the way, an episode is just a series of events within a bipolar attack.

One time in my life, I was so sick, I was thinking I was Jesus Christ. Now I am on my feet and doing well. As you proceed through this book, you will see how my life has completely changed for the better. I ask that you don’t judge me—just chalk up my mishaps to an ill mind.

Now my mind is healed. You can reach the healing point mentally too. Everything starts and ends with God, who is the creator and sustainer of life. Have an open mind and an open heart as you read this book. I know you can relate to my ups and downs. My purpose for writing this book is to encourage and inspire someone along the way.

Parents of a bipolar child can see how I have progressed and know there is hope for their son or daughter. I hope people diagnosed with the disease can be given hope as well, knowing that if I can get through my trials, so can you. If you are not a sufferer, you too can be inspired and given a purpose in life.

Enough of the general conversation. Let’s begin when it all broke loose in 1993.

CHAPTER 1

The Shocking Reality

I have had many ups and downs in my battle with bipolar disorder. In 1993, when it all began, I was fresh out of college and working for the power company. I was located at the service center. I felt like I was being mistreated because all of the other engineers had cross-trained at the service center, which was under construction for three to six months. I had spent a total of 2 years at the service center.

Some of my coworkers tried hard to break me down because of my lifestyle. You see, I preached the gospel of Jesus Christ on the weekends, and I was ridiculed for that. Many times I would arrive at work and say Good morning, only to be greeted with harsh words or hard looks. I never will forget that one man had the audacity to respond, What’s good about the morning?

Simultaneously, I was in seminary school at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and serving as an associate minister at one of the local churches. I had drama there too. I wanted to be the youth minister at the church. I was fulfilling all of the youth minister roles, and I wondered why I did not get the promotion.

There are haters everywhere, and the church is no exception. I was under leadership that did not welcome education at the time. I was a grown man in children’s shoes; the vast majority of church members treated me like a child. I grew up in this church and people still had a child mentality toward me. As Jesus noted, a prophet is without honor in his own hometown.

So you can see, I was overloaded with tasks. Then the bomb really hit. The power company had a major downsizing of staff. I was challenged with the responsibility of doing multiple jobs for the same pay. A lot of people know how that song goes. I was taking two classes in seminary, preaching and teaching the Word, and dealing with much more on my plate at work. Something had to give. My mind blew up! I had a mental breakdown.

I began to get less and less sleep, and my thoughts started to race. Let me fill you in on the details. I was at the service center and had a major argument with my boss. I felt like I was being forced to choose between serving God or man. I was lashing out because I had been backed into a corner.

I felt like I was being challenged to give up my engineering career to serve God full time. I wrestled with that challenge for many years off and on. Everything was either black or white; there were no grey areas. I wanted to be an engineer, but I was torn between the two—engineering and the ministry—not really understanding I could serve God by doing both.

The argument occurred on a Friday. That night, I had a spiritual encounter—a vision. I was tossing and turning in bed because my soul was not at ease. There was a mirror at the head of my bed, and when I looked up into it, I saw an image with horns and a grin on what I judged to be the devil’s face. This image terrified me.

On Saturday, we as a family celebrated my oldest sister’s birthday, and I cried dripping tears the entire day. Tears just ran down my face. My family knew something was wrong, but they initially ignored my crying.

By the way, I had to preach that coming Sunday. I was going to preach about the prodigal son. Coming Back Home was my title. When the big day came, I got in the pulpit, stood at the podium, and just started, my head filled with random thoughts. I remember spinning around in the pulpit. I stormed out and went upstairs to the pastor’s study. I had a few words with the pastor and then went outside. I remember jumping from as high as four feet from the ground. That was a sight to see. I was a good 225 pounds and out of shape.

My parents rushed me to the hospital, where I was enormously afraid. I thought everyone there was against me. I never shall forget. I was on a hospital bed surrounded by doctors, nurses, and techs. I was rebuking people in the name of Jesus, quoting Bible verses, and shocked to the highest degree. I was placed in a room where my arms and legs were chained to the bed. I was vehemently calling out for my parents. I was twisting and shaking so hard, I slipped my foot out of one of the handcuffs.

Eventually, I was misdiagnosed with a nervous breakdown. I was given several medications to calm me down. I was actually having a bipolar episode. But like many, I was loaded with the wrong medications. Basically, the meds just slowed me down. I was still having the same issues.

I was on a leave of absence from work. I had to withdraw from seminary, and I stayed away from church for a few weeks. I will never forget the