Today You Forgive Me. What About Tomorrow?: Living the Fabulous Life Through Forgiveness

By Darien K. Marshall

Forgiveness can lead to a life of prosperity and abundance. It can open the door to loving intimate relationships and strengthen the bond of lifelong friendships, and the health benefits that are experienced when resentments are released are astounding.

You are about to enter what the author hopes you will find to be a humorous and delightful journey on the subject of forgiveness. Many who seek self-help and inspiration wonder why, with all of the work they have done to improve themselves, there still seems to be a sense of poverty in certain areas of their lives. Something still seems to be missing. Maybe you yourself asked, How I can prevent negative things from coming into my experience?

The answer to that question may be closer than you think. You now hold in your hands an amazing treasure that may lead you to the answers that you're looking for. Fasten your seat belt. It's going to be a fun ride!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Feb 5, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504345736

Darien K. Marshall

Darien Marshall has been teaching on life-affirmation since 1998. After receiving his designation as a certified professional coach, the opportunity to share the, “change your thinking, change your life teaching” philosophy worldwide presented itself. Darien has accomplished sharing this through his books, public speaking, counseling sessions, and through his online inspirational radio talk show, It’s All About You.

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Copyright © 2016 Darien K. Marshall CPC.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-4572-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-4574-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-4573-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015919099

Balboa Press rev. date: 01/11/2016

CONTENTS

Dedication

A note from the author: Here I go again!

Foreword by Dr. Terry Cole Whittaker (Edited by Adonis Seldon)

Introduction

Chapter 1   There will always be reasons to forgive

Chapter 2   Is it possible to forgive everything?

Chapter 3   I can forgive but not forget

Chapter 4   A new way of understanding forgiveness

Chapter 5   What if I need to be forgiven?

Chapter 6   Freedom as a result of forgiveness

Chapter 7   Forgiveness can lead to Prosperity

Chapter 8   Forgiveness can lead to good health

Chapter 9   Forgiveness can bring great relationships: Part One

Chapter 10   Forgiveness can bring great relationships, Part 2

Chapter 11   Forgiveness is not for weaklings

Chapter 12   From For-giving to For-grudging

Chapter 13   There is nothing to forgive

Chapter 14   You have to forgive yourself first

Chapter 15   Why I had to forgive myself

Chapter 16   Who am I? (I am Darien Marshall)

Chapter 17   A fabulous life through forgiveness

Chapter 18   A word of inspiration (My Oprah & Louise)

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to Louise L. Hay and Oprah Winfrey… (see final chapter) Louise, thanks so much for helping me to realize that I have the power within me to heal my life. Oprah, thanks for helping me to know for sure that I am the Master of my Destiny.

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: HERE I GO AGAIN!

Will somebody just pinch me? Here I go again! Can you believe it? This is just amazing! You are now holding in your hands my third book. I am so grateful for how my life has just taken off. So many wonderful things have happened since I began my journey to make inspired changes in my life. If you ask anybody who knew me, I was a big mess!

Suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, phony friends, bad health, and negative thinking. You name it, I had it. This is one of the reasons why, when I write, I can speak with authority on the subjects considered because I have gone through them personally. One of the things that I don’t like is when someone tells me that I can be, do, or have anything that I want in life, but does not show this in their own lives.

For example, I know of someone who used to lecture me about my money. This person used to say that I needed to be able to raise my consciousness to allow the flow of abundance to come forth in my life. In other words, I needed to build my faith around prosperity. This is not to say that he was not right for saying this, because he was. But how do you explain the fact that on an average of every three weeks, this same person was calling me up asking for money for gas and groceries, always complaining about the economy? If you really want to tell the gospel truth, he needed to practice what he was teaching about prosperity and abundance. But then again, sometimes when life wants to wake us up to the truth of who we are and what we need to hear, we have to accept the message and not be concerned with the messenger.

I made a commitment that I would only talk about subjects that I could relate to on a personal level, because what good comes when you tell a person that you can relate to them when the truth is, you can’t? That person will not take you seriously and she will not be able to get the real help that she needs concerning her problem. I believe it’s really that serious.

In most books you don’t find a section like the one you are now reading. I got the idea from reading so many magazines. Most magazines call this part of an issue the Editor’s Notes. Some call it A Word from Our Editor, while others simply name it From The Editor’s Desk. The Toastmasters magazine calls this introductory section Viewpoint. I love the personal touch that Oprah adds in her wildly successful magazine by calling it Here We Go. It gives the sense that she along with her readers and magazine publishing staff are all on this great journey together. Since I am such a huge admirer of Oprah (who isn’t?), I wanted to add that same sense of oneness to the books that I write.

This book, which focuses on forgiveness, was a bit of a stretch for me. I really stepped out of my comfort zone with this one. The reason I say this is because my first two books, Don’t Just Talk About it…Be About It: making positive changes in your life, as well as Don’t Just Dream About It…Wake Up, were co-written with my best friend Darius L. Jones. This book I wrote alone, helped by comments and stories of many different people who are either dear friends of mine or Celebrities alive today, as well as famous people throughout history. You will hear from everyday people as well, like housewives, teachers, doctors and working folks, all sharing their personal experiences regarding forgiveness.

It’s not like I haven’t written on this subject before. Both previous books contain chapters about the importance of forgiveness. However, writing an entire book on the subject meant a lot of good and hard work was needed in order to get the true sense of what I wanted to convey to my readers. But for some reason, I was up for the challenge. I have been in situations where the need of forgiveness was very evident if I wanted to be in a peaceful state in my life. I have been in a place where I had to forgive others and in a place where others had to forgive me. Therefore, in this book, I speak from both sides of the coin.

Most of us have a particular thought that comes up when forgiveness is mentioned. We get thoughts of being a doormat and allowing people to walk all over us. Images of Gandhi or Mother Theresa walking around blessing and smiling at evil people come to mind. Allowing people to just get away with murder while saying They are living out their journey, and cannot be interfered with are what others experience. Images of self-blame for someone else’s issues seem to crop up for many others.

The good news is, this is not what forgiveness is all about. Forgiveness is not about being a naïve little wimp. It’s not about saying I am sorry all of the time. Nor does it mean that you have to allow certain people back into your life once the forgiveness has taken place. Sometimes people can be toxic, and they bring that toxicity along with a host of other issues into your life.

Forgiveness is more about authentic power than it is about weakness. It is about letting go and accepting freedom for yourself, and not condoning wickedness. It is knowing the truth about the different situations that come up in life. It is truly about you living a magnificent and beautiful life. As I always like to say, The most important thing is that you feel good in all areas of life.

Why is this so important? When we feel really good about who we are in relation to life, we then can give out that same goodness to others. When we feel good about our careers, friendships, marriages, work, and other aspects of our lives, then we are more inclined to help someone else to feel the same way.

The truth is, people who are filled with anger and resentment and continue to hold grudges are not very happy people. And when that unhappiness rears its ugly head, they desire to put that same negativity on others. This can show up as nasty sarcastic remarks to others. It also shows up as being cynical and critical about everything around them. This is not a health book, but it can even show up as numerous health problems. Science now agrees that our thoughts are creative and that happy, joyous people nine times out of ten will have happy, joyous experiences.

The same holds true for those who are crabby and nasty. These folks tend to draw into their lives more reasons to be crabby and nasty. And they are not aware of the fact that they have the power to change things. I know this for sure because I have been there and I know of people who have also been there and made big changes. At the same time I know of those who are still stuck there and blaming the entire world for their unhappiness.

Do you know people who are like this? Have you heard of people who fit this description? More importantly, are you one of these people? If so, then this book is for you. It will help you to be able to recognize those moments where you may be holding back love and not realize what you are doing. Not only will you be helped to recognize these situations, you will receive the guidance and help to get through those moments step by step while honoring yourself with love and respect.

I don’t want to give away all of the goodies in this part of the book, If you have already read one of the books that I wrote along with my best friend Darius L. Jones, you are pretty much familiar with our style of writing. It’s going to be a fun ride. One more thing: I forgot to mention another challenge about this book, which is that I play a dual role throughout these pages. I am the narrator as well as one of the commentators. This may seem a bit confusing at first, but as you read, it will all be clear and it will all make sense.

Thank you for joining me on this magnificent journey of forgiveness. It is truly an honor and privilege to be able to serve you by means of the written word. May you be prosperous and abundant in health, wealth and success.

FOREWORD

If you are familiar with my work, you are probably use to the fact that I use the word, Chutzpah quite often; especially when describing a person who steps out on a limb with fearlessness when it comes to fulfilling their dreams and goals in life. I use this word now in connection with my friend Darien Marshall, the author of this very book that you are reading. I had the opportunity to meet Darien circa 2005, along with his then business partner and best friend Darius Jones. They both co-authored two books as well as co-hosted their online Self Help Inspirational radio talk show, ‘It’s All About You" and I was invited to be a guest on the show. I had the best time of my life. We laughed, we talked, and we shared stories. It turned out to be one of the best shows they aired that year.

While I was visiting Philadelphia to give a workshop as well as a series of talks, I had the chance to finally meet these two angels face to face. The same warmth and love that was expressed over the radio airwaves was now present in our physical meeting. These two brave souls had a message that they wanted to share with the world. And that message then and now is, if you can change the way that you think…you can change the way that you live. They still believe that to this very day. In fact, it is evident that they have made a commitment to be living examples of this truth.

As with everything else in life, we as humans all evolve as we grow and change. It became apparent that the two friends were on different paths to their journeys on this planet. Darius wanted to continue his Masters studies at University, while Darien had aspirations of being a famous author, speaker and TV/radio talk show host. With love and each other’s complete support and blessing they went their separate ways to pursue their dreams.

This is why I use the word, Chutzpah, as I speak of Darien Marshall. When one steps out on his own to write a book solo when he is used to having a co-author or having a business partner, it can be a very daunting task. But Darien was up for the challenge. In Today You Forgive me…What About Tomorrow?, you will be taken on an uplifting, deeply moving, and comical journey that will allow you to see the importance of forgiveness in all areas of your life. Health, Prosperity, as well as wonderful relationships all have their connections with the amazing experience of Forgiveness. Allow yourself to open to forgiveness, and see your life transform. You will be glad you did.

Dr. Terry Cole Whittaker best selling author of

What you think of me is none of my business.

Foreword edited by Adonis Seldon

INTRODUCTION

Forgiveness. What comes up for you when you hear that word? For many people, this is a four-letter word, especially when it comes to a wrong that has been committed against them. We are told by many of the mystical masters and teachers of ancient and modern times over and over again that we must turn the other cheek when we have been wronged.

This is very easy to do when it comes to something small, like being called a bad name or someone borrowing your car without permission. Even finding out that your best friend divulged a secret that you shared with her can be easily forgiven with a little effort.

But what happens when it is something that is much more personal or serious, like a weekend guest accidentally setting your house on fire while smoking in bed in the guest room? Or a teacher humiliating your child in front of the class? Or being passed over for a promotion at work, when you knew that you were next in line for it?

Let’s take it a step further. You find out that all the time that you were dating the love of your life, this love of your life was cheating on you with your best friend. That one even makes me cringe at the thought of it.

Believe it or not, there are those who have been forgiven for even worse than the aforementioned. All of this to say that forgiveness is not really all that difficult to express for us humans, of course that is if we understand what forgiveness is really all about. The hard part is not so much do we have the power or desire to forgive. It is the forgiving and keeping the issue forgiven that seems to be the problem.

Being able to truly forgive someone and staying in that place of forgiveness takes some real work. We forgive the person and feel really good about the whole thing being resolved. Yet every time we see that person or that person’s name comes up in a conversation, right away we get a knot in our stomachs and relive the entire episode all over again. We have all been there for sure.

Once again I pride myself on the fact that I only write and teach about things that I have experienced in my own personal life. This may be the reason why so many of you great folks enjoy reading our (Darius and myself) books. And I really appreciate it.

In Today You Forgave Me…What About Tomorrow? you and I will take an honest journey into the true nature of forgiveness. What does it really mean to forgive someone? Is it really possible to forgive and forget? If not, then what does that statement really mean? Then again, if it is possible, how can we do it?

I, along with some of my friends, associates and people in history, will share some of our personal stories where we had to forgive some of the most horrific things that have happened to us. Things such as being stolen from, being molested as a child, being lied to, being humiliated. And the list goes on and on. Then there are those moments when we did stupid things and wanted to be forgiven for our mistakes. I will go into what those experiences were actually like and what I learned from them in this book.

The process of reading this book is to get nice and comfy, with a cup of tea or coffee, or maybe a glass of wine, put on some quiet music and just enjoy the happiness. This book is fun and light-hearted, yet it carries a bit of a punch. But it is a loving punch. So are you all cozy and comfy? Well, sit back and let’s enjoy the journey.

I love you so much. Big Kiss and an even Bigger Hug.

Darien

CHAPTER 1

There will always be reasons to forgive

You can say what you want to say, but the title of this first chapter does not come off as very encouraging. In fact, it’s kind of depressing knowing that there will always be a reason to forgive someone. That gives the impression that there will always be problems; that there will always be someone who betrays us or causes us some dissatisfaction. As if life is just set up that way to bring us grief.

Well, if that is the way that this chapter is coming off, I truly apologize for that. I don’t mean to be discouraging. I just want to prepare you by telling you the truth about the whole situation. As I just love to point out that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience, I also like to emphasize that as humans, we all make mistakes. It’s just the way it is. Sometimes, in our crazy moments, we may make these mistakes on purpose just to be vicious and vindictive. Then, on the other hand, we may hurt someone’s feelings without even realizing what we have done.

The world is full of stories of people who have been angry at a friend, only