Holding on Forever

By Victoria Monroe

Gage Scott let go of love a long time ago. After his parents divorced, he learned love only ends up hurting people. He vowed to himself he would never be hurt again because he would never love. He leaves everything and everyone he ever knew behind him and begins a new life built on rules against love. But when fate brings him back to the place and people he left thirteen years ago, he learns there are some things he cant escape.
He spent many years running from love only to find it was with him all along. When he accepts the truth he denied for so long, he realizes he cant ignore love. He discovers there is more pain in denying it. Once he embraces the true feelings he has for Laken Bennett, everything changes for Gage. Love finds him, and he is holding on forever.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 22, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504974271

Victoria Monroe

Victoria Monroe was born and raised in Pennsylvania. She graduated from the University of Pittsburgh with a bachelor of arts degree in English literature. She and her husband relocated a few times within the state. She favors the Pittsburgh region, where she had her son and daughter. After a ten-year career in corporate retail, she resigned, allowing her the ability to raise her children and write. Victoria loves spending time with her family. She loves listening to music, reading, and being outdoors—from the mountains to the beach and everything in between. Watching the sunrise and sunset is one of her favorite things to do. She always looks for a reason to laugh.

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© 2016 Victoria Monroe. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse    01/21/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5049-7426-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-7427-1 (e)

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Contents

Prologue ~Laken~

Chapter One ~Gage~

Chapter Two ~Gage~

Chapter Three ~Laken~

Chapter Four ~Gage~

Chapter Five ~Laken~

Chapter Six ~Laken~

Chapter Seven ~Laken~

Chapter Eight ~Laken~

Chapter Nine ~Gage~

Chapter Ten ~Laken~

Chapter Eleven ~Laken~

Chapter Twelve ~Gage~

Chapter Thirteen ~Laken~

Chapter Fourteen ~Laken~

Chapter Fifteen ~Laken~

Chapter Sixteen ~Gage~

Chapter Seventeen ~Laken~

Chapter Eighteen ~Laken~

Chapter Nineteen ~Laken~

Chapter Twenty ~Gage~

Chapter Twenty-One ~Laken~

Chapter Twenty-Two ~Laken~

Chapter Twenty-Three ~Laken~

Chapter Twenty-Four ~Gage~

Chapter Twenty-Five ~Laken~

Chapter Twenty-Six ~Gage~

Chapter Twenty-Seven ~Gage~

Chapter Twenty-Eight ~Gage~

Chapter Twenty-Nine ~Laken~

Chapter Thirty ~Laken~

Chapter Thirty-One ~Gage~

The Beginning…

Epilogue ~Ashe~

To the one who listened…

To the one who encouraged…

To the one who believed…

To the one who helped me…

To the one who gave me advice…

To the one who inspired me…

To the one who supported me…

To the one who said, I’m impressed with your work, when I didn’t think it mattered…

To the one who said, You can, when I didn’t think I could…

To the one who said, You will, when I didn’t think I would…

To the one who said, I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished, when I finished…

To the one who reads my words…

Thank You.

I know who you are.

You know where you fit,

right inside my heart…always. x

A special thanks goes to – Jill D., Lori T., Judy J., Kelly B., Heather S., Kristin T., and Lisa S. – Your time, feedback and support helped me get to this point. I am forever grateful.

Prologue

~LAKEN~

Laken is so different from Ashe, isn’t she?

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that line, I could surely take a trip to Europe with no problem. So what if my brother, Ashe, is a hot jock, super star athlete, and friends with the Scott brothers – Ryan and Gage. Who, by the way, are the finest things to grace the halls of Northwestern High School – EVER. Gage Scott. Just hearing his name makes my heart skip a beat. Every time I see his crystal blue eyes, I melt. The biggest problem for Ashe and the Scott brothers is deciding which girl to go out with on any given Saturday. Ashe and his friends don’t really spend too much time with girls. I’m glad about that. Every time I see Gage with a girl, or overhear a girl in the locker room talking about how great Gage kisses, or how good he looks, it saddens me. I want to be the girl who can say those words. I’m not the naturally good looking teenager my brother is – oh no. What a crime for a girl – I have bouts of acne along with eyeglasses. Pair those things with a mouth full of metal braces, including headgear, and what you have is a formula for being the butt of every one of your gorgeous brother’s jokes. I’m the awkward kid sister, and Ashe and his friends don’t let me forget it.

Oh Boys – stop picking on Laken! My parents, Richard and Vivian Bennett, could come along on the trip to Europe, if they had a dollar for every time they barked this line at Ashe, Gage and Ryan. You know what, she’s only fifteen and one day those braces are going to come off and she’s going to grow into her looks and body and you’ll wish you would have been nicer, mom scolds.

Thanks mom, I’m glad someone sticks up for me, I mumble.

Gross, Mom! Take it easy brace-face, Ashe mutters.

It’s supposed to storm, don’t wear your headgear outside, Ryan teases.

Ashe and Ryan trot off to the game room, in a fit of laughter. Gage isn’t laughing at Ashe’s and Ryan’s harassing comments, and he doesn’t leave the room with them either. He has a look of empathy on his face – or is it something else? Gage remains in the dining room because he’s talking to mom and dad. Gage tells them, he’s heading home to finish getting ready to leave for college. I sit here listening to him, and I can’t believe this is his last night at home.

Well, Mr. and Mrs. Bennett thank you for dinner. Your lasagna is my favorite; it’s great. I sure will miss this. Gage barely whispers the last words.

Gage, we’ll miss you too, darling. You and Ryan feel like you belong to us too. My mom is sobbing.

We realize going away to school, in California, is a wonderful opportunity for you and we are so proud of you, just like Ray and Judy, my dad says with pride in his voice. He continues, I’ll make sure there is a door open for you at the bank, when you come back home.

Thanks, Mr. Bennett, but I’m not sure what my future holds or if I’ll even come back here.

Well, we sure hope you do, dear, mom adds.

Mom and dad offer well wishes to Gage while saying their tearful goodbyes. They begin to walk him out. I interrupt their actions with my shaky voice, I’ll walk Gage out…y – you can just start cleaning up – if you’d like?

It would be lovely of you, Laken, mom states, with an understanding smile. I’ll get Ryan and send him out.

Gage and I walk slowly and quietly down the driveway. Standing at the open space, on the driver’s side of Gage’s red Jeep Wrangler; I wrap my hand around the steering wheel easily, since he was riding with the doors off. I can feel the moisture in my eyes. I’m having a hard time looking at Gage. I don’t think I can hide how I feel right now – how much I like him – how much I want to know what his kiss feels like. Gage places his finger under my chin and tilts my face up to look at him. He gives me a sly grin, tousles my hair and whispers, Take care, Munchkin.

My face falls with sadness.

Munchkin – an endearment Gage uses for me. He has called me by the nickname since he and the boys started high school. Secretly, I love when he calls me munchkin. This past school year was so exciting for me – I was a freshman and was finally in the same school with Gage. Each time our paths crossed at school, he would smile his dazzling smile and call me munchkin. He hasn’t left yet and I miss him already.

Hey, Gage whispers softly, what’s wrong Laken?

As tears slide down my face, I look into his beautiful eyes and simply say, I’ll miss you more than you will ever know.

Rain begins to fall as Gage grabs my shoulders and pulls me into him, for a hug. You said, you don’t know if you’ll come back here, I sniff.

I don’t know, Gage replies. Right now, I feel like I don’t even want to go.

I shift away and look at him; I see confusion and something else in Gage’s eyes. I wonder what he sees in mine – can he see what I try so hard to hide?

The moment is shattered by Ashe calling, Gage, make sure you’re not standing in a rain puddle with brace-face, she can conduct electricity.

Ashe – give it a rest already! Gage bites out at him.

Relax college boy, Laken knows I’m kidding and would hurt anyone else who teased her – right sis?

Sure Ashe, it just makes me feel bad and embarrasses me sometimes.

Well, if mom is right – then I guess Gage here won’t be sorry when you ‘come into your looks’ – he’s always nice to you.

Let’s go, Gage! Ryan says, as he pulls the top up on the Jeep. It’s starting to rain harder and we don’t have doors. I watch while they latch the top into place. Just like that, he gets behind the wheel. With a sad smile, Gage looks at me and mouths the word, Munchkin, and drives away.

Tears spill from my eyes as the summer rain falls. Feeling the emptiness from no longer standing folded in his arms – I wonder if I’ll ever have another moment like this with Gage – or, if this one moment, is all that will ever be…

******

~GAGE~

Damn, this rain. My jeep needs new windshield wipers. What the hell do I care? I won’t be driving it anymore. I’m leaving tomorrow and I won’t be back. I didn’t have the heart to tell Laken. I didn’t want to tell her, she looked so sad. If it wasn’t for my belief that loving someone is a waste of time because it only ends with being hurt, I think I could really care for her. I wanted to kiss her. God, the girl is like my own sister – or, at least it should feel like that. It never has though. She’s so young and so innocent, she’s probably never even kissed a boy yet. But that doesn’t stop all of the thoughts I have about sliding my tongue between her soft, plump lips. They’re always so shiny from that stuff she wears. They look like candy and thinking about tasting her gives me a hard-on every time. Ah fuck, it doesn’t matter. I’ll be on the other side of the country, settling into the dorms tomorrow night and this will all be behind me. My parents, their divorce, the position I didn’t take in the family business, thoughts about Laken…all of it. It’ll all be behind me. I’m driving home one last time. 3 Doors Down, Here Without You, is playing on the radio and I think about Laken.

******

Mom hugs and kisses me one more time. I can’t believe my baby is going to college, she sobs tearfully.

Dad chimes in, Judy, you need to let him go so we all get a chance to say goodbye.

Easing away from me, she responds, Of course, Ray. Ryan, you too, say goodbye to your baby brother, he’s going to college. She has so much pride in her voice.

Dad steps toward me with his hand extended, College indeed – a college on the other side of the country. Be safe traveling, son. Let us know when you’re settled.

Honey, all of the boxes I shipped in advance, are waiting for you in your dorm room, mom explains through continuing sobs. I’m so proud of you, Gage, she whispers.

Ryan, trying to ease the emotional charge, points out my flight is being called. Well bro, this is it. You’re a college boy now. Work on your throwing, or the chicks will think you’re one of them, Ryan scoffs. He’s trying to hide the sadness I can see in his blue eyes, which are so similar to mine.

Yeah right, douche bag. You’re the one who throws like a girl. Hey, take care and l guess I’ll see you if I can get home over holiday break. We’ll see what happens though; I already have a job lined up. I share one more hug with mom, offer a slap to Ryan’s shoulder, and give a nod to dad before I turn and walk away from everything and everyone I know.

I leave knowing, with the exception of a short visit here and there, I am done with this life and will make a brand new one with rules. I’ve learned my lesson – in life – there are no happy endings. Mom and dad are a perfect example. Divorced. They put on an act, like they get along so well. Then Ryan, he seems happy with his choice of going right into the family’s construction business after he graduated last year. He isn’t hurting for girls to date and he has the right idea, no long term relationships. No matter how much you love, it only ends in hurt. I think about Laken, she’s hurting. I wish I could have told her how special she is to me and how much I’ll miss her. But why bother? The moment we had yesterday in the rain is gone, and there won’t be another.

Or, does fate have other plans?

Chapter One

~GAGE~

Thirteen years later…

Dad is under considerable stress with the company. Although it’s a solid company, the weakened economic state is taking its toll. The family run business, which grew to a near empire, on my grandfather Henry’s good reputation and his solid as an oak handshake, needs to be reborn. It needs to be marketed and managed to regain its stability and carry the company forward. Dad is damn good at what he does – it’s all he has ever done – but he feels he lacks the business sense to accomplish the tasks in front of him. He realizes he needs to establish an executive team to take Scott Construction into its future.

My mind explodes as I take in what facts and details I can, while trying to get over the shock of my dad being here in LA.

Dad first discussed his plans for the company with my brother Ryan and Ashe Bennett, my childhood best friend. A young man who dad employs and holds in very high regard. The gentlemen agreed that dad’s ideas are good and they support his decision for the future of the company. Dad also had discussions with mom. She has always been closer to me, and has a deeper connection to me, for reasons no one quite understands. Dad’s plans are centered on me, so he went to the only person who can help him get through to me. Mom.

With agreement from the family, dad packed a bag and set out on this trip to visit me, in LA. This isn’t something he wants to handle over the phone. My parents decided there are some things we need to discuss and now is the time. Dad’s plane arrived in LA last night, he checked into a hotel and came to visit me this morning. I’m less than receptive to the idea of coming back and assuming the responsibilities of rebuilding my dad’s company.

I didn’t study and drown myself in my career to get where I am today to just throw it all away to embrace something I left behind, I say sternly.

Dad asks, Will you at least tell me, you’ll just take time and consider the proposition I’ve made?

In silence, I search my father’s deep blue eyes which reflect my own. I see the worry and stress resting there. I consider the magnitude of dad traveling to see me in person – something which rarely happens – because dad and Ryan are usually too busy with the company to visit. Visiting is something mom has the flexibility to do in between real estate deals, various volunteer efforts and community functions. The most time dad and I have spent together over these last thirteen years, since I left, have been in the short visits I made around the holidays during my first years away. There hasn’t been much conversation between us. I filled my brief time at home, during visits, by staying busy with Ryan.

Seeing dad at my door, today – makes me realize how important this is to him.

After dad presents his proposition, he asks me about the reasons why I never wanted to go into the business after high school.

I’ve grown numb to real feelings and emotions for people, especially my own father. My bitterness has been growing since their divorce. The years of distance and isolation from my family have only helped my emotional disconnect. I don’t hold back in my response and speak the words I have always thought, but have never spoken.

You are the reason mom was unhappy and filed for divorce. She felt second to your company and that wasn’t good enough for her. She deserved more. Ryan deserved more. I deserved more. We deserved to stay a family. I didn’t want to be part of the thing that pulled our family apart. Your company. Dad seems stunned by the pointedness of my confession.

I never realized you felt this way. I wish you would have told me this all those years ago. Your mother and I could have talked to you, and helped you to understand. Does she know this is how you feel? Dad asks, with the burden of missed opportunities hazing his eyes.

I have never said this to anyone before, no one ever asked – not that I would have said it then. You asked me, so I’m telling you. Dad, you should know where I stand as you ask me to consider this proposition, you traveled so far to deliver. Our eyes are in dead lock with one another: searching, asking, hoping, and aching.

I- Dad clears his throat. I can feel the swell of emotions between us as he realizes the depth of hurt I’ve been carrying. I surprised myself too, when I spoke just now. Letting it out, made me aware, I hurt more deeply than I realized.

"I – we, your mother and I, we were very young when we got married and had you boys. I worked with my dad as soon as I graduated from high school just as Ryan did with me. Your mom took care of the two of you, while I worked hard, making a good living, to get us out