What Every Woman Wished She Had Known at 15: Plain Talk on God’S Plan for Sex and Relationships

By Carol A. Hill

A biographical account of how one woman came to understand that God's plan of keeping the marriage bed pure is preferable to having casual sex outside of marriage. This is a story that brings light to the sacred act of binding a marriage contract through a physical act. It is the authors hope that honor can be restored to the sanctity of marriage and how God sees us as His precious jewels, with a price far above rubies. The book reveals how intimate acts create significant soul ties, and how knowledge of these soul ties may cause young men and women to think twice before engaging in casual sex. Statistics show that 1 of 3 women have suffered sexual abuse, often as children, and offers hope for those who have been verbally or physically abused. Abuse is the darkness behind sexual promiscuity; and full restoration is available through the blood of Jesus. The book also prescribes lifestyle changes to maintain a life of abstinence before marriage; citing biblical scriptures of purity, marriage and the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 5, 2017
• ISBN: 9781512769487

Carol A. Hill

Being a latecomer to the Christian faith and a scholar of the Living Word, I wanted to pass on things I’ve learned that would have been very helpful for me to have known much earlier in my life. I may have chosen to disobey God’s plan, but without knowledge, I didn’t have the opportunity to make that choice. God has designed sex to be a beautiful sacrament but, when taken out of his framework, is sordid and painful. I want younger women to avoid the unnecessary pain I went through all my life. I want them to know God’s truth. Carol Hill (née Rodgers) is an engineer by trade and a writer by calling. She is a native Detroiter who lives in Wallingford, Pennsylvania. Her son, Jeremiah, a nineteen-year old with Down syndrome, attends a residential school nearby.

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Copyright © 2017 Carol A. Hill.

Author Photo by Kathy F. Atkinson

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Unless otherwise noted, all scripture quotations in this book are from the Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV). Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-6949-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-6950-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-6948-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016921300

WestBow Press rev. date: 1/4/2017

Contents

Preface

Introduction

The Loss Of Innocence

God’s Plan For Sex

God’s Plan For Courtship

Working With God’s Plan

Final Words

Epilogue The Dark Secret Behind Sexual Promiscuity

References

About The Author

DEDICATION

To my sister and surrogate Mom,

Linda Gayle –

Did I ever tell you, you’re my hero?

You are the wind beneath my wings…

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Thank you, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit for putting this book on my heart, then allowing me to tear my Achilles tendon so I could be still long enough to write it!

Thank you, Mother Norma LaMonte, who let me know I had a book to write. May God rest your soul.

Thank you, my church families at Christ Bible Church in Chicago, Rosedale Park Baptist Church in Detroit, and Greater Faith Empowerment Center in Kalamazoo. You solidified my faith walk, taught me what Christian living looks like, accelerated my gifts, and corrected me in love.

And this acceleration in the year of Jubilee could not have happened without the prophetic anointing of my Pastor and Life Coach, Dorrine Jones of Abounding Grace Family Worship Center in Media, Pennsylvania, who catapulted me into a new realm of Kingdom existence and obedience.

PREFACE

Dear Reader,

I have a confession to make. I never envisioned myself as a writer, nor did I ever have a longing desire to someday write a book. In fact, I pursued a B.S. in Engineering to avoid writing a lot of term papers. I wrote one term paper during four years of undergraduate study!

The writing of this book was God-inspired. God put the idea on my heart, gave me the name of the book, and told me to write it. I never thought my experience was worthy of public sharing, but the Lord saw it differently. Because this book is God-inspired, if you have not yet accepted the gift of salvation, then you may not understand everything put before you in this book.

Therefore, before you read any further, I would like to offer you an invitation into the warmth and security of God’s love. I would like to offer you an invitation into a personal relationship with Jesus. I would like to offer you deliverance from the chains that bind you right now and a pathway to a life of peace that passes all understanding.

Do you believe that God loves you? That you have sin in your heart and that Jesus can save you from that sin? That you can choose to receive Jesus at any time? If so, I invite you to receive Christ right now, by faith. Recite the following prayer:

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.¹¹

By receiving Christ into your heart with this prayer, your salvation is complete. Congratulations! If reciting this prayer reaffirms your Christian walk, congratulations to you as well. Your first next step is to seek out a Christian church immersed in, and built upon, God’s Word. God’s Word instructs us not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together (Hebrews 10:25). If you do not belong to a church, call a friend who attends church or contact me through my website. Visit the pastor of a nearby church where Christ is regularly honored and His Word is preached. Start this week and make plans to regularly attend service, especially Bible Study. I have found that Bible Study better aligns my Christian walk with God’s plans for me. During service, praise and worship allows me to thank God for having a plan. Both are critical.

Be Blessed!

Carol Ann Rodgers Hill

INTRODUCTION

For the first time, at the ripe age of 42, I am seriously studying the word of God. I’m learning that there are rules - spiritual rules. There are rules for living, marrying, courtship, and sexual relations. There is an instruction manual to life, and it’s called The Bible. The Good Book. The Living Word. The Word of God. It is through this awesome, inspired, very long speech from God that we learn how to direct our lives.

Why is it that so many of us don’t learn this in childhood or grow up in churches that don’t teach us the word of God? Why do we find churches that simply teach us what we want to hear? These, my friends, are questions that I cannot answer in the pages of this short book. However, I submit to you that the only way to build a true personal relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is to study His Word. The only way to clear up doubts, build faith, and understand His will for life is to study His Word. The only way to know God’s plans for you, your children, and the generations that follow are to study His Word.

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. (Ephesians 6:17-18)

A friend recently told me that she doesn’t study The Bible because it’s sexist. After peeling myself off of the ceiling, I came to the realization that she was right. The Bible is sexist and it’s supposed to be. Consider this—it’s now popular to accept that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.¹ Why? Because that is the way God designed it. Men and women are different in His plan and have different purposes. Rejecting that plan because we, as women, want men’s power, or vice versa is futile. To throw up your hands and say I’m tired of God’s plan for men and women, and now it’s time for me to be the man. is not okay. It doesn’t work like that.

A Black male therapist once told me that my hang-ups were more similar in nature to a white male than anyone he had ever met. As a Black woman, his words shocked me. He described how my personal identity had merged with my corporate ambitions and crossed emotional and spiritual lines into a world that was, according to God’s Word, never meant for me. Pretty audacious of him, right?

Wrong. The message heard by many young girls is that to be successful, they must be like a man. Taken a step further, like a White man also striving to make his place in the world. Growing up, I was encouraged to get a good job, buy a house, and own fancy car. Shortly after I accomplished all of that, my life flashed before me. In my mind, I was 20 years in the future and, like the executive women who mentored me, owned a big house, Mercedes-Benz, vacation timeshare, DVD, remote, dishwasher, maid…and opened the door each night to a home where I was the only person in it.

Right now, I’m standing on my soap-box telling you that this was not God’s plan for my life or theirs! These women who were leaders in their career fields, are now destined to be the last generation in their genealogy. They will have had no husbands to grow old with, no children for whom they’ve sacrificed, and no one to visit them in the nursing home they will inevitably call home. No one will carry on their names or their love for the Lord. Why? Because they followed the plan of the enemy and not God’s to prosper and multiply (Genesis 9:6-8).

Search your hearts. For me, getting to The Truth has been a long road. I went to church all my life and never learned that I was full of sin and that Jesus Christ died on the cross so that I might have everlasting life. To some of you, even everlasting life may not