The Spirit Within Us

By Liz Collett

A journey of self-exploration uncovered the depths of emotions and unwanted beliefs we allow ourselves to be burdened with. A revealing recollection of lifes experiences brought about major changes in a behaviour which sabotaged the amazing life which consistently seemed to be out of reach.

Surrendering rather than struggling brought that amazing life into reality. An example to all who wish to find the easy secret that is so difficult to uncover.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Apr 22, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514446904

Liz Collett

Beginning her working life in the secretarial field, Liz soon found her passion for horses took her into the racehorse industry. A major upheaval brought her to the Gold Coast to live out another passion in dance. After much success, she is now experiencing what she finds to be the ultimate in our human existence.

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Copyright © 2016 by Liz Collett.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Cover Design by Lynne Pickering

Rev. date: 03/14/2016

Xlibris

1-800-455-039

www.Xlibris.com.au

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Contents

Chapter 1: There Is Always a Way

Chapter 2: Family Life

Chapter 3: Dedication

Chapter 4: Breaking Down the Barriers

Chapter 5: Deflated

Chapter 6: Misunderstanding

Chapter 7: Regaining Passion

Chapter 8: Life Happens

Chapter 9: Awakening

Chapter 10: Being Responsible

Chapter 11: Emotions

Chapter 12: Time to Wake Up

To all my teachers, those who walked with me on my journey. No matter how far, you played a significant role in my life.

Also to all my teachers, angels, and guides, who have contributed to my spiritual development. With love and sincere gratitude, I acknowledge the wisdom shared to enhance my life.

~CHAPTER 1~

There Is Always a Way

It is one thing to tackle situations and obstacles as they present themselves, yet quite another to arrive at a realisation that you are holding on to deeply embedded emotions which continue to sabotage an otherwise brilliant experience on our planet, rather than just an existence through which we travel. With our core beliefs about ourselves and the world we live in, we create our reality—our successes and our failures.

Our core beliefs are those beliefs we have about ourselves, correct or not. We, as impressionable, emotional humans, are vulnerable to outside input towards our physical and emotional conditioning. We grow and develop in an atmosphere beyond our control.

We arrive into this world with the innate understanding that we will be nurtured and cared for, and given security and stability. A basic reality of all creatures big and small is the guidance and nurturing of the young, mentoring them in life skills to survive and thrive in the environment in which they inhabit.

I am not saying for one minute that my parents didn’t love or care for me, however, I arrived at a critical time in my adult life which sought an understanding of my then present reality. I was seriously feeling that I did not want to live any more. Just how far did I need to regress to quench my thirst for clarity? To skip over any one period of my history could mean missing an important piece of a puzzle that required a full complement of components.

Little did I know that life was going to get a lot worse before it got better.

~CHAPTER 2~

Family Life

My delivery into the world was a little complicated, but Mum and I both survived. The year was 1953. I was taken home to the rest of the family which consisted of my nearly-four-year-old sister, my dad, his uncle, and granddad—who I don’t even remember but I know he was bed-ridden and needed my mum’s attention quite often, usually when she was in the middle of breast-feeding me; so it was a case of getting back to me when she could!

Aunt Alice—who also resided in the same house and had been mainly responsible for looking after the males in the family—had died in Mum’s arms whilst she was pregnant with me, which was very upsetting for her. Pop died in the first year or so of my arrival, but that was more relief, I think, than sadness. I couldn’t imagine my mum voicing this, but it had to be a big burden lifted off her shoulders especially with such a small child and a baby like me!

Herbie, Dad’s uncle, was a returned soldier whose wife had died while he was away fighting. He never remarried and he lived with us as part of our family. Our home was on a double-house block. One block was taken up with all kinds of fruit trees, grape and passion fruit vines. The house block was certainly large enough for our generous vegetable garden; our chickens provided us with eggs, one being sacrificed for our Christmas dinner each year.

My dad was an ambulance officer and my mum was a housewife. As a cook, she could do a good job of the abalone and roast dinners! What a life! Parents have to do all the planning and earning a living and do the best they can for the family. Kids just have to grow up.

My first sexual experience came at the age of four. Although it was what one would have to term as fairly innocent, at the age of four and having a grown man lying on top of you with his penis between your legs, it was an experience that had a deep emotional impact.

School days hold so many memories. Attending a Catholic primary school was a definite mixture of good and bad. I was very much a girl who thought God was looking down on us so it was ‘be good or you won’t go to heaven’. I did the usual mischief like swinging on the clothes line when I was repeatedly told not to, until one day it broke and I hid under the house for hours with everyone worrying about me.

At quite a young age, two little boys who were close neighbours were struck by a car in front of their house. One was killed outright and the other was quite a mess for a long time. Mum and Dad spent a lot of time with their parents helping out and consoling them, and the two sisters would come to our house to play. I remember the grief and pain that these people felt, but being so young you were just a witness to what was happening around you.

At the age of seven until I was nine, I learned to play the piano. My teacher was a nun and would rap me across the knuckles if I hit a wrong note, so that when I finished my lesson and had to fetch the next student from the classroom, my eyes would show the telltale signs of tears. This was very common amongst her pupils so I was glad I wasn’t the only one. I don’t think I have ever known hate for a person, but I really didn’t like this nun, and I didn’t like having to be around her; but like many things in my life, I just accepted that this is what I had to do. So I just did it.

My dad accepted a better position in his work so we moved a little farther away to one of the southern suburbs of Wollongong. I made every excuse imaginable not to take up the piano again. My mum had found a nice lady but I wasn’t budging. I was scared that I would have another bad experience, but as it turned out, one of my friends in years to come did very well with this piano teacher and she enjoyed her lessons very much. I had shown so much promise in the few years I was taking lessons but I gave it up because of my experience with someone who is supposed to teach you, but used aggression instead of encouragement.

The area we moved to was the home of many ‘new Australians’ because of the job opportunities. There was a stabbing at the hotel fairly close by around the time we moved there. It was looking a little grim although we had a nice home to move into, and my dad’s work was at our doorstep.

After attending two different Catholic primary schools, I finally made it to the big school. I remember walking to church with my mum and sister every week, and coming home to enjoy a lovely Sunday roast. We were definitely the typical family I thought.

Secondary school was a quantum leap for me. This was not a Catholic school. I made new friends and had many new experiences. I was full-on into sports of any kind. I played A-grade softball, A-grade hockey; I took lifesaving for a term of sport, water ballet—yep, water-ballet. I am sure they call it ‘synchronised swimming’ now—which sounds a lot more technical. I was a bit of a fish anyway, but real sport took my interest.

I had always been skinny and very active, and was a little less developed than most of my pals, but it never really worried me because I was always fit and active, and that was important to me. I even recall the day I had to ask my dad’s permission to buy my first bikini. He surely wasn’t for it, but my dad was pretty soft in some ways, probably not so much with my sister, as she had to pave the way, I guess. She always told me I could get around Dad. She was into ballroom dancing, and the ladylike activities where I was a lot more out there, taking on challenges. I could be a team player and yet I ventured out a lot on my own.

I have such memories of the day I found how nice boys were to kiss! The first guy I really kissed was Italian, or some such nationality. I was at the movies with a girl friend when a young, handsome guy sat down beside me with his friend. He was nice looking with a really cute smile, and he asked me if I minded that he sat there.

We chatted, as much as we could in a movie theatre anyway; he made some nice little comment and leaned over and kissed me. I remember thinking what a great kisser he was for a boy his age, but I really didn’t have anyone to compare him with because I had never been kissed like this before. He was gentle and warm, and just a really sweet guy. He asked if he could see me again, and I made some excuse and walked away when the movie had finished.

I grew up close to the surf so we spent much of our time swimming. I learned to sew and made some of my own clothes. I learned to knit and finished two sweaters in a very short time which I was very proud of. A lady taught me to crochet, so I helped her make items for a store, including a dress, a complete baby layette, and I even crocheted a nice bikini. I could cook a little, although I seldom practised this skill. I fitted in some horse riding whenever I could—I just loved horses!

Roller skates were the gift of my choice for one of my birthdays. We lived on the premises of my dad’s workplace and the front of the building had a nice, big area for my new sport. There were two driveways with a little hump separating them so I would speed around the concrete area, spin around backwards, and do my thing over this hump. I see young guys practicing on their skate boards today and I can certainly relate to them. My mum was absolutely terrified that I would come to grief one day.

I began gymnastics and would attend the teachers college every Saturday to spend the morning in the enormous gym. I was in heaven! Beam, high and low bars, trampoline, rings, mats, etc. We would always warm up with stretching exercises and then get going on the equipment. I seemed to do particularly well with mat work, making it to the State Competition in Sydney. I was very pleased with where this had taken me. I was also involved with vaulting demonstrations and I simply loved using my body in this way. I could land into the splits from quite a height; my body was lean and flexible. I felt I could do just about anything.

I never heard my mum and dad fight or argue, but on a rare occasion I would hear Mum comment on something that she may have been a little displeased with. My dad liked a drink and would go over to the local to have a few with the boys on certain afternoons. I am sure it was a daily thing that he and Mum would share a