You Could Go to Jail

By Bernie Siler

Laws are created to protect countries, cities, and counties from criminal and deviant acts. But for any of these statutes to exist, there must have been behavior to precipitate the need for them. In his collection of humorous mandates of legislatures, seasoned attorney Bernie Siler shares a glimpse into the seemingly innocent and bizarre acts that are legitimate violations of law in certain places.

Silers deeply researched compilation includes excerpts from laws that state the obvious (or not so obvious) regarding alleged criminal activity. In Saint Louis, leading a marching band through a church during a service is prohibited. It is illegal to keep a rabbit in Culver City, California, within thirty-five feet of the air shaft of a bakery. It is against the law to ride an ox while drunk in Baltimore. In Brisbane, Australia, you must take a horse out of water where people are bathing if ordered by police. Finally, if you fly a kite in Palmdale, California, it must be at least four hundred feet off the ground. Through it all, Siler proves that it may not be as hard to land in jail as we originally thought.

You Could Go to Jail shares a collection of obscure and ridiculous statutes that astonishingly can still be enforced in todays world.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Aug 19, 2016
• ISBN: 9781491798331

Bernie Siler

Bernie Siler, was a prosecutor in the District of Columbia from 1988 to 2009 and practiced law in general since 1980. His background includes a BA in anthropology from the University of Dayton, JD from the University of Cincinnati and an MA in International Services from American University. He is a member of the bar in Ohio and the District of Columbia. His interests include history with an emphasis on nineteenth-century America and the Civil War. He has been published in the Washington Post and Washington Times. The articles have covered aspects of the US Navy as related to its role in the Civil War and the assassination of President Garfield. The latter publication was a direct theme from this publication. Since he grew up in Washington in the twentieth century, he was exposed to many remnants of nineteenth-century Washington. In that article, he discussed having been born in Garfield Hospital, how his maternal grandfather was born twelve days after the assassination, and how his office at the prosecutor’s office was directly above the courtroom in which the assassin was tried. He also grew up one block from Fort Stevens, the site of the only Civil War battle fought in the District of Columbia. His house was situated squarely on the Union line of battle. Had he been living there in 1861 instead of 1961, his first summer there, it is likely the Lincoln administration would have offered his parents a paltry sum in its exercise of eminent domain to confiscate their house to expand the fort. This actually happened to an African American woman named Betty Thomas, whose house was confiscated and the cellar used as the magazine for the fort. Turning back to 1961, June specifically, by the strangest irony, his piano teacher randomly chose a song to play for his recital. Unbeknownst to him and definitely unbeknownst to the teacher, the song he chose would have been actually sung on the location of his house exactly one hundred years earlier. The song was the “Battle Cry of Freedom,” which turned out to be one of the inspirational ballads sung by Union soldiers while engaged in their mission, whether it be while marching into battle or while laboring on fortifications. This song was probably sung many times on the very spot where he feverishly practiced for his recital a century later.

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Copyright © 2016 Bernie Siler.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-4917-9832-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-9833-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016908298

iUniverse rev. date: 08/20/2016

CONTENTS

Preface: Why A Book On Bizarre Laws?

Introduction

Chapter 1: ‘Ligion

Chapter 2: Wild Kingdom

Chapter 3: Nip It In The Bud

Chapter 4: Support Your Local Sheriff

Chapter 5: Obscenity And Fallen Women

Chapter 6: Fightin’ Words

Chapter 7: Clean It Or Lien It

Chapter 7: Merry Melodies

Chapter 9: The Public Way

Chapter 10: Foolin’ Some Of The People Some Of The Time

Chapter 11: God Protects Fools

Chapter 12: Miscellaneous

To my late parents, Bernard and Frances Siler, who always encouraged me to be the best that I could be and to use every available moment to accomplish that.

PREFACE

WHY A BOOK ON BIZARRE LAWS?

I MAGINE BEING ARRESTED, prosecuted, and possibly jailed for having a pet rabbit in Culver City, California, because you happen to live less than thirty-five feet from the air shaft of a bakery. Or you find yourself in a school yard after dark in Detroit and are hauled off to the police station. These seemingly innocent acts are actually violations of local law in some places.

The humor found in this collection of what appear to be ridiculous laws