Singapore Rose: A Woman's Touch

By Binanda Barkakaty

This book is, basically, a life portrayal of a loving wife from the perspective of her adoring husband. Binanda and Katie had been married for four-and-a-half decades. That is, until 22 May 2014, when Katie had to submit her earthly life to the Lord and Creator in heaven. She spent only five days in hospitaldidnt suffer much, didnt shed tears, but submitted her life to the will of God. Her married life is a glowing example of Gods unconditional love and unmerited grace on our life. She was courageous in breaking the mould, passionate about family life, and passionate about caring for the needy and the vulnerable. Nursing was her career, and caring was written in every part of her being. Katie played a significant part in the life of her husband, not only in supporting him as a cotraveller on Earth, but also in making him the man as hes now.

Written in simple language in his candid way, this book describes the life of a woman who touched the life of many people whom she cared for and others who came into contact with her. Above all, her life was a gift from the Almighty Creator, and his love and grace shone through her life to many a people all over the globe. The book also deals with grief of separation, suffering, and bereavement of a few devoted Christian authors, as well as their response to the attack of grief.

The book will appeal to those who would like some inspiration about the enduring love and everlasting grace of Christ Jesus, who gave his life at the Golgotha Cross, for the entire humanity, making us righteous with God the Father. And we can be sure of our eternal salvation in Jesus if we put our trust in him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Mar 31, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514465820

Binanda Barkakaty

Son of a school teacher, Binanda Barkakaty was born in Assam, India. He left India in 1966, and came to the United Kingdom for higher studies in Physics, and he has been in England ever since. He has an MSc in Solid State Physics from Bradford, a PhD in Molecular Physics from Leeds, an MEd in Science Education from London, and an MSt in Criminology, Penology and Management, from the University of Cambridge. His daughter, Santana lives with her husband Mark and two sons, Cade (13) and Bailey (11), in Chippenham, Wiltshire. His son, Biraj, is an opera singer, as a countertenor, and lives in Astoria, New York City, with his wife Heather, who is a soprano. After spending three decades in teaching profession, Binanda retired in 2011. Since the passing away of his dear wife, of cancer, in May 2014, Binanda lives on his own in suburban London.

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Copyright © 2016 by Binanda Barkakaty.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-5144-6583-7

      eBook      978-1-5144-6582-0

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without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New

International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International

Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]

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Rev. date: 03/30/2016

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CONTENTS

It’s all because

Foreword

1.   Transformation, submission and uncertainty

2.   Breaking the mould: From Singapore to Halifax

3.   A career in focus: Helping the helpless

4.   Caring for the needy: A career begins

5.   Making of a man: Making of a family

6.   Testing times: Winds of life

7.   A new chapter: From Yorkshire to Croydon

8.   Turning point: Towards an uncertainty

9.   Beyond retirement: Time at our hand (?)

10.   Last few weeks: Just a flash of lightning

11.   In the grip of grief: Focus on the Cross

12.   My eulogy: With an empty heart

13.   Puspa (Katie): In peoples’ memory lane

14.   Post-word: Love has it

Reference List

AND WE KNOW THAT IN ALL THINGS GOD WORKS FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM, WHO HAVE BEEN CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. FOR THOSE GOD FOREKNEW HE ALSO PREDESTINED TO BE CONFORMED TO THE LIKENESS OF HIS SON, THAT HE MIGHT BE THE FIRSTBORN AMONG MANY BROTHERS. AND THOSE HE PREDESTINED, HE ALSO CALLED; THOSE HE CALLED, HE ALSO JUSTIFIED; THOSE HE JUSTIFIED, HE ALSO GLORIFIED.

ROMANS 8:28-30 NIV

To Katie

The woman, who:

• loved, cared and supported me in her candid ways,

• relentlessly tried for high ideals and gave her all,

• loved the Lord and looked through the lens of his word,

• loved people, worked for people and lived for people.

I miss you Sweet Pea!

It’s all because

I’ll light a candle – love flavoured,

I’ll pray a prayer – love filled,

I’ll sing a song – love resonant,

It’s all because – you love me so.

                                            I’ll sit by the brook – singing sweet,

                                            I’ll look for you in the stream-song,

                                            I’ll wait till you sit by me – sharing sight,

                                            It’s all because – I love you so.

I’ll collect the tear-drops – making a chain,

I’ll make a stairway of grief to the heaven,

I’ll clamber up – love-propelled, searching you,

It’s all because – I miss you so.

                                            I’ll pick you up – heaven to earth,

                                            I’ll fill my void with your love,

                                            I’ll let your memory afire within me,

                                            It’s all because – I need you so.

I’ll build a new home – one empty life,

I’ll write a new song – one empty spirit,

I’ll look at heaven and smile again,

It’s all because – I want you home.

Foreword

T he central thrust of this book is the unconditional and enduring love of Lord Jesus Christ. His power of love brings all humanity together to make a new creation in his righteousness and endows them with a new identity. God loved us before the world began and his unconditional love is open to us all. This is a book about a woman who played a major role in my life for shy of forty five years. She was my dear wife Puspa, known to many of her friends and co-workers as Katie. Many of my close Indian friends and relatives, however, prefer to tag her as Singapore Rose! She was a God’s child, and was empowered with his spirit and strength, which made her a remarkable woman of courage, resilience and discernment. Not only was she a soul-mate for me, she was instrumental in shaping me, moulding me, protecting me, encouraging me and made me a person that she wanted to be with, for all her life till ‘death us do part’ as she took her marriage vows on 10 June, 1970. Indeed, keep her vows, she did!

It was a courageous promise which, she religiously committed to, although both of us had to endure occasional struggles, albeit understandably, under the pressure of heavy work-load, and occasional experience of thunder-bolts from the blue. However, we shared all our pleasures and sorrows together and we marched on like ‘pilgrims on the barren land.’ It made us stronger in our shared love and helped us to work closely for the household. It was the amazing power of her indomitable courage and sheer calmness, presented by the unmerited grace of the Lord, made all our life problems seemed so subject to easy solutions. Simply put, Katie was a bundle of joy to our children and grand children, she was the driving force behind any big project we ever undertook, and she was the architect of making a family, surrounded by many friends, in which love, joy and peace always abound.

Her life was a big mission – a mission of hope, a mission of unrelenting sacrifice and a mission to demonstrate that she cared. Arguably, Katie was the person at the helm of the boat, which both of us proposed to row, no matter what types of waves and wind we were going to face. We were aware, we would! There were tempests that tossed our boat, there were roaring waves that almost drown us. We let all things to be controlled by our loving Lord, since we had virtually nothing when we got married: only the hope that the Lord would take care of everything. He is the Jehovah Jireh – the Lord who provides. Against all odds, she carried on with her mission with steadfast and prayerful zeal. Undoubtedly, she achieved, what she wanted to do in this world, and she did it perfectly - putting Jesus first.

Katie was a trained nurse, which she always wanted to be. Wherever she worked, be it in a general hospital or in a private nursing home, she made her presence felt, with her dedication to work and her incorrigible high standard. With her beautiful smile, she attracted many patients, relatives and colleagues, who became her life-long friends. Even now, after more than a year of her passing away, so many of her friends still ring me to talk about Katie’s devotion to work, love and affection, with which she took them to her heart, in order to show the love of Jesus Christ in her to all the people.

My beloved Katie, a sweet, promising, passionate and very hard working woman, had to say good bye to all of us, when she found herself succumbed to the cruel attack of bowel cancer. It was 22 May, 2014, when she was called to her permanent home, to be at eternal rest, with the Lord our Saviour.

This book is all about her, her life, her work, her vision, and the way I would like to remember her. As we have lost one member - a huge chunk of our wider family, comprising Singapore, Australia, India, the UK and the USA, other members of the family and friends will pop up in the scene, time to time, as the book develops. This is a book about two people in love, sharing and supporting each other - through the roller-coaster journey they experienced together. More importantly, both of them loved the Lord who loved, cared and sustained their lives.

Frankly put, I feel inadequate to fully portray the life of a woman whom I met when she was just twenty eight. I would have liked to write about her childhood days. Her school days. Her likes and dislikes. Her trivial pursuits. I wish I knew, what she was like as a teenager! Her hobbies. Her friends. I would have liked to comment on her days in her early and mid twenties. A quite a big chunk of her life is missing. Although oftentimes both of our childhood days became part of our discussion, I never put anything on paper about Katie. I never thought I would write a biography about my sweet Pea to include her days of childhood and young adulthood. It would have been rather nice if I was born in Singapore. Perhaps we could have been childhood sweethearts.

Ditto, I apologise for the intertwined nature of this biography. From the time we met in Bradford, our life had been a melody of togetherness – a symphony of music from two hearts brought together by love. We cannot write our individual story. Ours is one story of two people. We had been together in every step we trod. We had been greatly blessed that we were together until the cruelty of death separated us. Neither of us were prepared for it. Neither of us even seriously discussed about the possibility of such a separation. It’s of course our naivety – to put it bluntly. Our very birth has its end point – our earthly death. It’s a certainty, every one will have to face. It depends on not if, but when. Katie’s death brought the reality home to roost. The past is no longer a mere history. Our past is no longer a past to bury. Our past is a burning reality in the present. I now live on, with the past juxtaposed with the present.

Praise be to the name of God for ever; wisdom and power is his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you; you have made known to us the dream of the king. Daniel 2:20-23. NIV

Chapter 1

Transformation, submission and uncertainty

It is the admission of ignorance and the admission of uncertainty that there is a hope for the continuous motion of human beings in some direction that doesn’t get confined, permanently blocked, at it has so many times before, in various periods in the history of man.

Richard P Feynman

F or me, the year of 1966, is a year of transformation, a year of submission and a year of unbound uncertainty. That is the year which brought transformation of my own perspectives of the wider world. In September of that year, I left home in Assam, India, heading for England in order to embark on a postgraduate research project in Physics which would lead me to attain a PhD degree. A young man, in his late twenties from the East, landed foot on the English soil, and met the West. That itself tells me, something new, something unexpected and something unexplored, would begin to take place, and shape my entire being. Before me, there were many who came to the UK for the same purpose and went back home. After me, there would be many, who would come here and go back home after completing their studies. That said, every one is an individual, with his own destiny.

Thrilled, to jump into the English higher education system; eager, to explore the English culture, history, heritage and the surrounding green country side, I experienced a sense of great expectation that would fill my three year period, for which I was assigned. Transformation in my life was to follow, a wrung at a time, beginning in 1966. It was most certainly not my plan, not even dreamed of. But transformation did take place - to break me, to bend me, to bring me to my knees, and to shape me the way the Lord Almighty pre-planned for me.

It was a journey – a long, long, journey purposed and planned in heaven. It was a call – a call from heaven that loudly pronounced:

‘Come to me! Come and taste! Come and see! I will show you the splendour of my work, which has so long been hidden from you. As your eternal creator of the multi-universe, I knew you before the world began, before you were knitted together in your mother’s womb. You were made, fearfully and wonderfully in my image and in my own likeness, and now you are mine - my chosen one. Do not be afraid! Do not be anxious! Do not be dismayed! I will not let you go from my grip. I will hold you with my right hand, and take you through the trials and tribulations, that you are going to experience as my child. Whether you are going to end up on a cliff-top or in a shadowy valley, I will be with you always.

My dear child! You are special. I love you so much that I gave my life for you, more than two thousand years ago. I wanted to make you purer than gold, whiter than snow, and make you holy in my sight. You are now set apart. You are now in my embrace. I will forgive you for all your iniquities and transgressions. I took away all your sins and became a ransom for you, so that I can pay the penalty which you owed to God my Father. Not only did I do that for you my child, I did that for the whole world – for the entire humanity. I did not want anyone to perish but to have eternal life beyond our physical death. I wanted all humanity to be free from the slavery of sin. I wanted them fully reconciled to God the Father. I wanted them to enjoy the glory of heaven for all eternity by putting their trust in me. Come to me – I will give you eternal rest. I will offer you everlasting peace. That peace flowing from my heart is yours. My peace is not from this world, but from the eternal heavenly Father who sent me to this world. So my child, your destiny is sealed, your eternity is guaranteed and your salvation is secured in my name.

I am your life. I am your breath. I am your spirit. You abide in me. I abide in you. We are one. Nothing, nothing in the world can separate you from my everlasting love through my son Jesus Christ. My power is in you. And so is my strength. On your own, it is impossible to do or achieve anything. But all things are possible with Christ in you. You need me for your days in this world, and for all eternity after you die. I will then take you home to my side to enjoy our Father’s home together forever.

My chosen child, did you know, this is a call from a living Lord - Jesus Christ? I died at the hand of the people whom I came to save. They did not love me, neither did they trust me. They mocked me, flogged me, humiliated me, spat at me and made up a plot to kill me. They succeeded in their shameful plot and hanged me on the cross and left for dead. I suffered all that for you and the entire world. That was my Father’s plan – I carried out with full obedience to him. Because he sent me from heaven to do his will. By that one act of my propitiation, I rescued the broken world and restored the fallen humanity, once and for all. Then, I rose from the grave to give you life. I am the resurrection and the life, and life eternal. I am the truth, and the truth everlasting. I am the way and only way, to the kingdom of the Father who sent me. I am now alive in heaven, sitting at the right hand of God my Father. I am interceding for you and all believers in me, for all eternity. I have defeated death; death has no power on any one, to prevent them from entering the eternal kingdom. Death is the ultimate product of sin. I washed away sins of the world, by my blood which was shed at the cross. And therefore, through my resurrection, you have the victory over death.

You have everlasting life in me. You my child, are alive in me eternally. You have crossed over from ever consuming death to everlasting life in me.

Since I am the Son of God, and because you have trusted me as your Lord and saviour, you have become the son of God too. You are now a co-heir of the heavenly kingdom with me. You are