The Alchey Files

By Harry Smith

The stories are a twelve-year slice of time during and after WWII and represent a time in our history that has changed beyond recognition. A time where, despite the horrors of the war, in most cases, the war for boys growing up in provincial New Zealand was a great adventure. Older readers will recall with affection the situations in which our hero finds himself. They will be delighted to become reacquainted with our wrestling heroes of sixty years ago and recall with affection the wonderful freedom experienced by growing boys of these times.

The stories are pretty well true. A little artistic license takes nothing from the basis of the stories, the genesis of which were for the information and education of my grand children, so it was at their insistence that I have sought their publication. The various friends and relatives who have read these stories have been unanimous in their endorsement of these sentiments, which recall a small slice of times past gone forever.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris NZ
• Release date: Jun 30, 2015
• ISBN: 9781499097245

Harry Smith

Lieutenant Colonel Harry Smith SG MC (born 25 July 1933) is a former senior officer in the Australian Army, seeing active service during the Malayan Emergency and the Vietnam War. He was Officer Commanding of D Company, 6th Battalion, Royal Australian Regiment (D Coy, 6RAR) during the Battle of Long Tan on 18 August 1966. After service as a Cadet and National Serviceman, Smith joined the Australian Regular Army as a private soldier and then graduated as Second Lieutenant from the Officer Cadet School, Portsea, in December 1952. He was subsequently posted to the 2nd Battalion, Royal Australian Regiment in 1955 and served during the Malayan Emergency between 1955 and 1957. From June 1966 to June 1967, Smith, then a major, was Officer Commanding D Coy, 6RAR. On 18 August, after heavy mortar shelling of the Australian base at Nui Dat the previous night, companies from 6RAR were sent out to locate the Vietcong units involved. Smith led the 105 soldiers of D Coy and the 3 man NZ Artillery Party out on patrol, but at 3.15pm, while patrolling a rubber plantation at Long Tan that afternoon, they encountered a reinforced regimental-sized Vietcong force (the Viet Cong 275th Regiment, supported by the North Vietnamese Army 806 Battalion and the local D445 Battalion) preparing to advance on the base. Following service in Vietnam, Smith commanded 1 Commando Company at Georges Heights and after overseas training with UK, USA and Canadian airborne units, was posted as CO/CI of the first Army Parachute Training School in 1973. Smith left the Army in 1976 after a parachuting injury and later pursued cruising the east coast and gulf, covering 150,000 nautical miles over 33 years. In 2008, after years of campaigning for better recognition of Long Tan veterans, Smith's MC was upgraded to the Star of Gallantry (the Australian replacement for the Imperial DSO). Two of his officers who fought at Long Tan had their MID awards upgraded to Medals for Gallantry corresponding to the original nominations of MC but his soldiers' awards were not recognised.

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

Winkey always thought of himself as a kind of Christmas present to his parents.

His mother told him that, as he had arrived on Christmas Day, they had named him Noel. He was never quite sure what the name Noel had to do with Christmas, but he never took it into his head to argue about the matter.

One day he asked his Mother how he came to be a boy in the Williams family; his Mother had told him that God had given him to her and his father for Christmas because they had been very very good, and that Father Christmas had brought him.

Despite the fact that he had no memory of coming down the chimney with Father Christmas he always accepted, until recently that is, that this had in fact been the case and in any event it was a far better method of arrival than the way Old Mother Smith had got her Alchey. Alchey had been found under a cabbage, while Rolly Hutchings had come down the chimney like Winkey, only the stork had brought him and not Father Christmas.

Charlie Isaacs (Ike), had no real idea where he had come from, but thought a gnome had left him on the front veranda. Squelch Morris had come from Auckland which was the reason that he thought he was better than everyone else and why he was such a skite, and always had hair-oil on.

Winkey, Alchey, Hutch and Ike, had just finished their first year at school and would be in primer three next year. Squelch Morris was going to be in primer four which made him a bigger skite than ever.

Christmas was coming soon but no one was expecting all that much because of Bloody Old Hitler.

Bloody Old Hitler was what Alchey’s Dad called Bloody Old Hitler - so everyone knew why there wouldn’t be much for Christmas.

You had to be careful not to say Bloody in front of Mrs. Williams, or Old Mother Smith, or Old Mother Wallace because you could easily get a box on the ear from any one of them.

Winkey had been the first to get a box on the ear from his grandmother who was Old Mother Wallace. Alchey was next - from his Mother.

Ike lived with his big sister and her husband (who happened to be a Pole named Klaus Pietwitchsckie - one of those bloody foreigners as Alchey’s Dad would say).

He was the luckiest one because he could say Bloody Old Hitler anytime he was home. Although Old Mother Wallace told him one day, if he said that word again she would give him a jolly good box on the ear as well.

Hutch was too smart to say bloody. He just used to say Old Hitler. Not that he was scared or anything, but Hutch was always smart that way. He never used to get mad, or sad, or happy even. If he’d been a kid fifty years down the track he would be called a cool dude or maybe laid back, but most people thought he was a bit funny (that’s what they used to say back then).

Hutch’s dad was a fee-lat-a-list and had a limp. Some kids thought that’s why he had a limp. No one knew what one of those was and Hutch never said.

Winkey’s Dad was away in the Army and Alchey’s Dad was in the Home Guard, which was a bit like being a fee-lat-a-list as no one knew why the homes had to be guarded. Most of the time though he was a gardener at the hospital.

Ike didn’t have a Dad which was a bit sad, especially when the kids used to call his sister’s husband Pete’s Whiskers. But he did have a big brother with red hair who used to come and see him sometimes.

Alchey had a big brother too. He worked up the Coast. It used to make Alchey feel real important when any of the kids at school were talking about their big brothers or dads. He would just say my brother works up the Coast and then walk away slowly, hands in pockets.

All the kids would stop talking and look at each other and then start talking again. Alchey knew they couldn’t beat THAT! He was kind of hoping that his big brother would be home soon and get onto Father Christmas for him. Seeing as though his Mother and Dad reckoned he wasn’t going to get much because of you know who.

The thing he really wanted was a push-bike, but considering all the boxes on the ear he had got from his Mother, he probably hadn’t been good enough. Never mind, he wouldn’t sneeze at a tin of paints and a fishing line.

Hutch had two big brothers. There was Dexter, who was in the fee-lat-a-list business with his Dad and Aubrey who was in the Air Force. Hutch used to call him Orb for short. Hutch said Orb was going to drop bombs on the Huns. When Alchey asked Hutch why Orb wanted to drop bombs on the Huns, who seemed to him to be really nice people, especially on account of Mrs. Hun giving Alchey a biscuit once, Hutch told Alchey he was bloody stupid, which left Alchey wondering a bit.

Hutch also had a sister was called Velma and was quite a bit older. In a few years time Velma was to become very important as a source of information regarding babies, and other subjects pertaining to babies.

The Hutchings were going away to some beach for Christmas, so Hutch was going to leave a note and a map by the fireplace so Father Christmas could find him when they were away. Hutch wanted some Dinky toys, a dart set and a ukulele.

Winkey was sure he was going to get a push-bike because his Mother told him she had been talking to the Good Fairy, so if Winkey stayed very good ’till Christmas, the Good Fniry would talk to Father Christmas for him. Hutch, Alchey and Ike said there was no such thing as the Good Fairy and anyone who believed that rubbish was nuts. Winkey just smiled his little tight-lipped smile and said we’ll see. As for Squelch, he was in for a round football and a wind-up truck.

CHAPTER TWO

The summer days of 1941 were long and hot and dry. The hills were purple in the morning and evening, but brown and dirty looking during the day and the heat used to make things in the distance shimmer.

Alchey’s Mother, who was a bit stout, used to find a doorway in the shade fanning herself with a folded newspaper as much to keep the flies away as to keep cool. The hot dry weather had made all the streets even dustier than they usually were which was pretty dusty - except for the main road and a couple of others in town, which had tar-sealing. When even a little bit of wind started up, the dust would gather itself into amazingly demon-like clouds of mischief that could get through the tiniest opening in your house and drive your Mother nearly crazy. Well that’s what it did to Alchey’s Mother anyway. She would close all the windows and doors to keep the dust out and then begin to chant Oh this heat - sigh, Oh this heat - sigh, I can’t take much more of this - sigh. I’m sure we’re going to have an earthquake, -sigh- it just can’t keep on like this. Alchey’s little sister Gracie used to ask and ask about earthquakes but Old Mother Smith would say that if she didn’t stop asking stupid questions she would get a clip on the ear.

Alchey knew his Mother must be right because she used to go on day after day. Because of his testimony, the rest of the gang came also to believe that an earthquake was immanent, although none of the kids quite knew just what an earthquake was, except that it had something to do with the weather. When Winkey asked his Mother about earthquakes she said he shouldn’t worry about things like that. Hutch’s Mother said that earthquakes are what God sends when He’s wild with everyone. Ike’s big sister told Ike to get outside and play. Squelch Morris said he knew all about earthquakes but wasn’t going to tell. Now all this went to confirm what Alchey had been saying with the added conviction that it was sure to arrive on Christmas Day. Boy! It was going to be a great Christmas despite B.O.H.

No one knew what Mrs. Williams thought about the weather because she wasn’t around all that much. Winkey’s Mother and Dad had a large hairdressing business. Downstairs was for men and upstairs was for ladies. After Winkey’s Dad joined the Army the men’s part was closed for the duration whatever that meant, (even Squelch Morris didn’t know) but the ladies part was carried on so she was at work most of the time. Old Mother Wallace was supposed to look after Winkey until his mother got home. She lived with Winkey’s Grandad in a house about five away from the Williams’s place. Winkey thought his Grandad was neat, but he was sure scared of Old Mother Wallace. Even Grandad was scared. Alchey, Hutch, Ike and the other kids weren’t scared of her though; they were all too frightened of her to be scared.

Picture1.jpg

No one talked to Old Mother Wallace about the weather, even though she was overheard when speaking to Mrs. Buske across the road, that as far as she was concerned "the damned Germans could have the damned place. It was too damned hot and the young people these days had everything too damned easy, and as for the kids - they were all too damned