The Black Cloud: A Humorous Look at My Law Enforcement Career

By Karl Korsch

In this book, I tell some of my favorite stories from my time working as a Pennsylvania State trooper. I will tell you of my first day on patrol and take you on a journey with me through some of the most memorable incidents I investigated. Along the way, you will learn how I earned my nickname the Black Cloud.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 31, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499085198

Karl Korsch

Andrew Snyder is an Integrated Researcher in the Instituto de Ethnomusicologia at the Universidade Nova de Lisboa in Portugal. As a trumpeter and scholar interested in intersections between public festivity and social movements, he co-edited HONK! A Street Band Renaissance of Music and Activism and At the Crossroads of Music and Social Justice and he has published articles in, Ethnomusicology, Journal of Popular Music Studies, Luso-Brazilian Review among others. He is also the author of, Critical Brass: Street Carnival and Musical Activism in Olympic Rio de Janeiro.

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Copyright © 2014 by Andrew Snyder.

Library of Congress Control Number:     2014918948

ISBN:          Hardcover          978-1-4990-8518-1

                    Softcover           978-1-4990-8520-4

                    eBook                 978-1-4990-8519-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

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Rev. date: 10/27/2014

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CONTENTS

Dedication

I dedicate this book to Dr. Thad Midas. Without his help I probably wouldn’t be here to write it.

Preface

I worked as a Pennsylvania State Trooper from 1996 through 2006. Between 2004 and 2005 I was involved in numerous high stress incidents. Because I dealt with so many high stress incidents over a short time span I developed PTSD and I was forced to take an early retirement. I am writing this book because I hope that looking back on all the fun times will help with the healing process.

Introduction

M any police officers write a book on the one big case they had during their career. They may write about how they solved the crime of the century, or they may write about the one that they never solved. However not every officer has the opportunity to be involved in a big case to write about. Most criminals are not masterminds who pull off the perfect crime. In fact, most are just average people who are quickly caught. I often said that if it weren’t for the dumb ones we wouldn’t catch any, and we sure did catch a lot.

I am writing to tell you of the cases I investigated that did not involve criminal masterminds. Most of these stories are quite humorous and I often found it difficult to keep a straight face while speaking with those involved. I became very adapt and hiding my emotions and keeping a straight face at all times.

Chapter One

The First Day

A fter graduating from the State Police Academy a new Trooper undergoes a six month on the job training period known as Coach Pupil. During this time the new Trooper rides with a Trooper who has at least two years of experience. The Coach helps the new Trooper to learn the basics of police work and guides him through the nightmare of paperwork that needs to be completed for every incident.

During my six months I did not have a Coach assigned to me. I randomly rode with numerous Troopers who had a wide range of personalities.

After each shift the Coach is supposed to do a write up with one thing the new Trooper did correctly and one thing he did wrong. This was always interesting because I was riding with a different Trooper almost every day and each of them had their own preferences on how things should be done.

A good example is one day the Coach wrote that I drive entirely too slowly. I was obeying the speed limits and all traffic signs. So the next day (riding with a different coach) I drove faster going about ten miles per hour over the posted limit. The write up that day was that I drove too fast and needed to obey the traffic laws. The full six months was full of contradictions just like that.

The Dreaded Raccoon-Deer

I will never forget my first day out on the road or the first incident I was dispatched to. We had just finished roll call and the dispatcher came into the patrol room and said that I had a traffic accident. My Coach and I jumped in the patrol car and we were off to the wreck.

On arriving at the scene I saw what was left of a Chevy Beretta. It was split in half and parts of it were spread over a 160 yard distance. On seeing the damage my Coach uttered Shit this is a fatality. It turned out the driver wasn’t even injured.

The driver was a 15 year old who had taken his older brothers car out for a joy ride. The older brother was away at USMC boot camp. He had canceled the insurance and registration on the car before locking it in the garage and leaving for boot camp. I can only imagine what happened when he came home and found out his brother had totaled his car.

During the course of the investigation I determined that the driver was traveling at a very high rate of speed when he lost control of the vehicle. He left 200 feet of skid marks. The vehicle then began to rotate and slide sideways leaving another 100 feet of yaw marks. The vehicle impacted a Winkomatic school zone sign with enough force to split the car in half. The front half returned to the roadway and came to rest about 200 feet past the sign. The back half went into a drainage culvert. My best guess at the time was that he was doing about 110-115 mph in a 35 mph zone.

I then interviewed the driver of the car. Needless to say, at 15 years of age he did not have a driver’s license. I asked him to explain to me what happened. He said he was driving and lost control of the car. I asked him how fast he was going when he lost control and he replied that he was going 25 mph. I then said maybe you didn’t understand the question so I will repeat it. How fast were you going when you lost control of the car? He said maybe 30 mph. I looked him in the eye and asked, Do you really think this is my first day on the job?

Being as that it was my first day on the job my Coach began to laugh and had to walk away. I then said Okay, so you’re driving along at 30 mph, (I motion over to the debris field left by the crash) please explain to me what caused you to lose control to the point that this happened. He said that while he was driving an animal jumped out in front of him startling him and he lost control.

I asked him what kind of animal jumped out in front of him and he said he wasn’t sure; it was either a deer or a raccoon. I think my next question was, what exactly have you been smoking and where can I get some?

I should say there were no indications he was drunk or stoned but how can you not tell the difference between a 200 pound deer and a 10 pound raccoon?

I cleaned up the mess and issued the kid a stack of traffic citations. I then called his mother to come pick him up. So in addition to wrecking his brother’s car and getting a stack of citations he had to explain to his mother why he wasn’t in school. She didn’t look to happy when they left the station.

Chapter Two

Accidents

S ince my first incident was a traffic accident I guess I should continue from here with other stories of accidents I have investigated. I investigated thousands of accidents over the years; many were just minor fender benders while others resulted in entire families being killed. While there is nothing funny about the tragedy surrounding an accident the reaction of those involved can sometimes be quite comical.

It Hurts Like Hell

This accident occurred during a tornado in the Pocono Mountains. The storm had just come through when I got a call for an accident involving a tree falling on a car. On arriving I observed a very large pine tree on top of a van. The van appeared to have held up to the impact and the roof was only slightly dented. I figured there wouldn’t be any injuries.

Several firefighters were standing near the driver’s door of the van. I walked up to them and looked through the driver’s side window. I saw an elderly gentleman in the seat with his eyes closed and mouth hanging open. A branch from the tree had gone through the roof of the van, through the top of his head and out the back of his head at the base of his skull pinning him to the seat. A woman was in the passenger’s seat holding his hand and crying. I looked at one of the firefighters and commented, Well at least he didn’t feel it.

The guy then opened his eyes and said, It hurts like hell. I must have jumped a foot off the ground. I began getting information from him while rescue personnel went about cutting the tree branch and getting him out of the car.

He was 72 years old and the passenger was a 68 year old woman who I assumed was his wife. It turned out it wasn’t his wife, it was his girlfriend and he was very concerned that his wife not find out she was in the van with him.

He was extricated from the van and flown to a trauma center where he made a full recovery. If you’re wondering what was in the back of the van it was full of sex toys.

That Wasn’t An Exit She Was Getting Off On

Another accident that I had the misfortune to investigate involved a hit and run with a Greyhound bus and a car on Interstate 80. The car was passing the bus and sideswiped it. The driver of the car then sped off.

I received the call for the accident and a description of the car. I was a few miles up the road so I figured I would wait and see if the vehicle came past me.

A few minutes later the car went by and I pulled it over. A Hispanic woman in her mid-twenties was driving. She was dressed nicely wearing a dress shirt, mini skirt and high heels. I advised her she was being stopped for the hit and run accident and I asked her for her license and registration cards.

I then asked her why she sped off instead of stopping. She said it was because she was embarrassed. I then asked her what caused her to hit the bus. She said she was getting off and lost control of the car.

I was confused because there were not any exits in the area where the accident occurred. So I asked her what she meant. She then opened the center console and pulled out a vibrator and showed it to me. She had been driving down the road playing with the vibrator and had an orgasm causing her to hit the bus. She thought several people in the bus saw what she was doing and she became embarrassed and sped away.

When I returned to the station several Troopers were in the patrol room and I told them of the incident. One of the female Troopers asked me if I took the vibrator as evidence. I told her that I had not. She said Damn, I would have loved to put that evidence away.

Maybe Next Time He Will Listen

There was an ice storm at the top of a mountain on Interstate 80. At the bottom of the hill the roads were clear and dry. Right at the crest of the hill the roads turned into a sheet of ice. It was my patrol zone and I had to investigate 136 accidents that day. While I would be talking to someone about their accident there would be cars sliding off the road and crashing all around me.

A man driving a black BMW with New York tags hit the patch of ice and lost control of his car. It spun around and slid off the road but didn’t hit anything. The man got out of the car and was running around the car in a panic looking for damage. I was yelling at him to get back into his car. He yelled he had to make sure the car was okay. I again yelled at him to get into his car for his own safety. He continued to run around his car looking for damage.

A beat up old VW Beetle with California tags crested the hill and hit the ice. The Beetle spun around and slid sideways off the road. It hit the snow and ice on the