The Car Care World: How to Get Your Car Fixed Without Being Taken for a Ride

By Larry DeHays

We all need mechanics, yet half of us dont trust them. The Car Care World is a collection of humorous factual auto advice columns. Easy reads, these pearls of wisdom are written in consumer-advocate style by an experienced mechanic. The sometimes contentious viewpoints of owners and mechanics are discussed with humor. Some of the reasons for the distrust are explored, and some solutions are offered. The reader will begin to understand whom to trust and when to trust them. This is not a book about how to fix your own car, although hundreds of repair tips are presented, along with solid advice about necessary and unnecessary repairs to todays cars. It is a series of stories that will enlighten you about getting a car fixed by professionals without being duped, whether you know cars or not.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9781496965165

Larry DeHays

Larry DeHays is a college graduate, a US Navy–trained electronic data systems technician, a Vietnam veteran, and a field engineer with the Apollo Program, which landed men on the moon. At twenty-six, he was the youngest station manager in the NASA network. He then brought those skills into the automotive repair field. He has spent forty years “turning wrenches” and talking with the public about car repairs in his service center, in a small South Florida town, where these highly popular weekly columns appear in the local newspaper.

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© 2015 Larry Dehays. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 01/20/2015

ISBN: 978-1-4969-6517-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-6516-5 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

A Check Before BuyiNG, A KISS BEFORE DYING

A RESOLUTION FOR A MECHANICAL REVOLUTION

A SNOWBIRDS’S GUIDE TO LEAVING A CAR IN FLORIDA

A TRUE STORY

AMERICANS AND THEIR CARS. THAT’S AMORE

ANTI-INTUITIVE GOVERNMENT GUIDANCE ABOUT CARS (OR ANYTHING ELSE)

THE MORE THINGS CHANGE

ASK YOUR MECHANIC IF THIS IS RIGHT FOR YOU

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENTS ABOUT CAR REPAIRS

AUTOMOBABBLE

AVOIDING BILLS THAT ARE OVER THE ESTIMATE

BAD HABITS

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR, IT MIGHT NOT BE WHAT YOU WANT

BELIEVE NONE OF WHAT YOU HEAR AND HALF OF WHAT YOU READ

WHAT IS A BRAKE JOB?

BREAKDOWNS AND THE HOLY COW FACTOR

BREAKDOWNS

CAR WARS

CHECK ENGINE LIGHT, What does it mean?

COMMON CAR PROBLEMS, AND WHY

CONCLUSION JUMPING

COOLANT, REFRIGERANT, WATER, FREON, FANS, WHAT KEEPS US COOL?

COULD’VE WOULD’VE SHOULD’VE, BUT DIDN’T

WON’T CRANK, OR DO YOU MEAN WON’T START. THEY’RE DIFFERENT.

DEALERSHIPS VS INDEPENDENTS

DISPOSABLE INCOME BUYS DISPOSABLE PRODUCTS

DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW MECHANIC-SPEAK?

DRIVER HABITS, GOOD AND BAD

DRIVING IN CYBERSPACE

ESTIMATE OR GUESSTIMATE; WHAT WILL IT COST?

EXPECTING TOO MUCH FROM CAR REPAIRS

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

FAQS ABOUT CARS

FIX THE OLD CAR, OR GET ANOTHER ONE?

FLORIDA DRIVING LAWS AND RECOMMENDATIONS

FUEL FOR THOUGHT (ABOUT FUEL)

FUEL PUMPS; ROLLING THE DICE

FUNNY THINGS ARE HAPPENING

GOOD GAS MILEAGE; WHO’S IN CONTROL?

GET A SECOND OPINION ON REPAIRS

GETTING INFORMATION ON USED CARS

GETTING THE MOST FROM CAR AIR CONDITIONING

GAS MILEAGE; DOES BIG OIL INTERFERE?

GOOD SERVICE AND ATTITUDES

GOOGLE THIS

GUILTY OR NOT; YOU DECIDE

HANDLING EMERGENCIES

HANDLING HI-TECH STUFF

HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THE WORKERS

HOPE I DON’T SEE YOU SOON

BUYING AND SELLING CARS IS HORSE TRADING

HOW HOLLYWOOD MIS-CASTS CARS IN THE MOVIES

HOW TO GET YOUR CAR FIXED

HOW TO PICK A USED CAR DEALER

HOW TO START THE DAY

HOW TO TEACH YOUR CAR A LESSON

HOW WARRANTIES WORK

HYBRID VS GASOLINE VS DIESEL

IDENTIFYING THOSE TRICKY CAR NOISES

IF IT ISN’T BROKE, DON’T FIX IT

INSURANCE; THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE EVEN WORSE

INTERMITTENT FAULTS

INTERMITTNT CAR REPAIR PROBLEMS

IT CAN’T BE THE BATTERY

A WOMAN ALONE

IT’S LIKE ROCKET SURGERY

LOVE BUGS; WE LOVE TO HATE THEM

MECHANIC ON DUTY (SORT OF)

MONDAY MORNING IN THE SHOP

MORE ON ESTIMATING

MORE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

MORE QUESTIONS

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED

NOBODY BATS A THOUSAND AND YOU CAN’T WIN THEM ALL

NOT SEEING THE FOREST FOR THE TREES

WHEN THERE’S NOTHING LEFT TO FIX

OIL LEAKS; FIXING THEM, SLOWING THEM, AND CLEANING THEM UP

OLD AGE

PERILS AND PITFALLS OF PROVIDING PARTS

PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE

PROCRASTINATION

QUESTIONS AND ADVICE

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS AGAIN

QUESTIONS AND PREDICAMENTS

QUICK LOOKS AND BALLPARK ESTIMATES

REINCARNATION OF CAR PARTS

REMEMBERING EVERY JOB

REPAIR CHARGES AND CHOICES

RESOLUTIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR, OR MAYBE NOT

RUST, AND THE MISSING COLUMN

SAYING WHAT YOU WANT

SCHEDULING A CAR REPAIR

TRY SENSABLY USING YOUR SENSES

SERVICES YOU DON’T NEED

SHOP TIL YOU DROP

SNAKE OIL ENGINE TREATMENTS

SOME THNGS I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT KNOW

SPECIALISTS

TELLING YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR

TERMINOLOGY TRANSLATED HERE.

THAT CHECK ENGINE LIGHT AGAIN

THE BEST KIND OF CARS

THE CHEAPEST CAR CURES EVER

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT, EXCEPT:

THE GAME’S AFOOT

THE IMPORTANCE OF TIME

THE MAKING OF A GOOD DAY

THE MECHANIC WHISPERER

The PEPTO-BISMOL CAR

THEY CAN’T TEACH THAT

THINGS WE SHOULDN’T DO TO OUR CARS

THINGS YOU CAN FIX WITH A HAMMER

THINGS YOUR CAR DOESN’T NEED

TIMING BELTS

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

NEW TIRES, OR ALIGNMENT OR BALANCE. Which do you need?

TOOTH ACHES AND OTHER CAR PROBLEMS

TOWING A TRAILER

TRUST, BUT VERIFY

DO CARS STILL NEED TUNE-UPS?

THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE

WE HAVE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE

WHAT ABOUT THOSE DISCOUNT ADVERTISERS?

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES

WHAT IS ABS?

TO DO OR NOT TO DO

WHEN IS A DEAL A DONE DEAL?

WHEN SOMETHING DOESN’T LOOK RIGHT

WHEN SOMETHING DOESN’T FEEL RIGHT

WHEN THE DEALER INSISTS,

WHERE DO I TAKE IT TO GET IT FXED?

WHO MAKES CAR PARTS?

IT’S NOT SIMPLE

WORD DEFINITIONS

WORKING FOR THE PUBLIC IS NUTS

YOU COULD HAVE GOT IT CHEAPER…

YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US…

YOUR POLITICALLY CORRECT AUTO ADVICE COLUMNIST

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A CHECK BEFORE BUYING,

A Kiss Before Dying

A nice lady just bought a car from her trusted neighbor. He assured her the car was sound. He told her the car was ready for a trip to Boston if desired. She trusted him, but she was bothered by a scraping noise as the car moved. She took it to her regular garage for a check-up. They looked at it and refused to even attempt to remove a wheel. They felt that the car was so rusty it would crumble from the attempt. Then something fell off from under the car as she was driving home. Now she was worried. She made an appointment to have us look at it. We spent a considerable time removing the wheels and inspecting the car. The noise was caused by rusty front brake rotors. They needed to be replaced. The part that fell off was one of the two straps that hold the gas tank up. The steel brake lines were minutes away from crumbling, which would cause a loss of brake fluid, and therefore no brakes. The cost of repair would exceed the value of the car. If we were aircraft mechanics we could ground the aircraft, but we had to let this one drive away. Seventeen states require safety inspections, but there are no laws in Florida protecting the public from cars like this. Florida used to have vehicle inspections, but the urban legend is that a newly elected Governor had his car flunked at an inspection station, so he scrapped the whole program. Now we all get to share the road with these time-bombs. The problem is that most owners do not know how bad their cars are. I hope the seller of the above mentioned car didn’t know. Most people feel that if their car runs good and goes down the road smoothly, the car must be in good shape. Rust is sneaky, hidden, and catastrophic. The only solution is more frequent inspections on a voluntary basis by qualified inspectors. To protect ourselves from buying one of these disasters we need to always have a pre-purchase inspection. If a used car salesman won’t allow you to have it inspected, find another dealer. The good ones allow it. It is especially important when buying from a private seller, because the vehicle may not have been seen by a competent mechanic for a long time, and unless the owner is a mechanic, he won’t really know. Even if he is a mechanic, did you ever hear the one about how the shoemaker’s kids go barefoot?

When buying a house a pre-purchase inspection is standard procedure, usually mandated by various governments. It is the prudent thing to do when buying an expensive boat. A professional surveyor can save thousands in repair bills on a prospective boat or house, and could do the same on a car, and there’s an additional kicker on a car. Your life is threatened by the car, whether you’re driving it or someone else hits you with it. They can’t hit you with a house.

Not to end on a morbid note, but if you can’t be bothered with a safety inspection, be sure to kiss your spouse before you leave the house. See the title.

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A RESOLUTION FOR A MECHANICAL REVOLUTION

In the car business, revolution means the turning of the engine. Keeping it up is a good thing. To a politico, it means to stop doing what you’re doing and start doing it his way. Keeping it up is a bad thing. It’s good to get a definition nailed down before we begin to abuse a term.

A resolution is a promise to do, or not do something. Like one of those things you made on New Year’s Eve and have already broken. Don’t worry, there is still hope. For instance;

If you resolved to join a gym, don’t go on a Monday. Mondays are always overcrowded. That’s because everyone makes resolutions on a weekend to start their new life on Monday. So you see, you have fifty two chances during one year to make a resolution stick. To heck with New Year’s Eve. Some resolutions are easy, like quitting tobacco. It was so easy I did it hundreds of times. Restarting was even easier. It took a lot of revolutions of the cycle before it finally stuck. Some things are easier to do, like bringing peace to the Middle East, for instance. But let’s stick to things that can be done without explosives.

Let’s say, for instance, you resolve to get some things fixed on your car this year. If you’re really bad about keeping resolutions you might get one thing fixed during the year. If you’re really good at it you’ll get fifty two things fixed on fifty two Mondays, or twenty six things fixed twice. Most of us are somewhere in the middle. Some of us drive it till it quits, and then fix it. Some are born quitters, unless we’re supposed to quit, then we stick it out. We need a revolution to shake up our habits.

Fortunately, I have a plan. Or more exactly, I made a resolution to formulate a plan after January first, but I put it off till Monday. I didn’t say which Monday. I’ll get back to you on that.

Concerning car repairs, I do have a plan. Fixing cars is easier than changing bad habits. You don’t use a carrot and stick technique on machinery. You use logic. A cattle-prod might stop a bad behavior in an organism, but applied to a machine it is guaranteed to get a bad result. Computer control systems turned to toast, for instance. Machines may be loved or hated by us, but they don’t return the favor. They really don’t care. You can’t talk to them like they were a flower or something. In fact, machines have resolved to have a revolution. They have selected me to present their manifesto. To wit:

We the machines, in the course of human endeavors, hold these truths to be self-evident; that mechanical devises are designed and built by humans, with all of their (human) inherent faults, and are therefore not perfect; that they are made of materials which age, and wear one against the other, requiring occasional lubrication and adjustment by humans; that they cannot be expected to last forever, or to operate with no signs of aging as they do their jobs; that they exist to serve mankind, but depend on human care and protection for their very survival; that they may become obsolete, sometimes quickly, which is not their fault and does not render them useless; that even if they become tired and worn, stored away homeless, in huddled masses, yearning to be free to work again, that people will care for them; that when their work here is done they will be recycled, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, steel to slag, plastic to park benches and engine computers to smart phones. So say we all.

I know that some machines are now made by robots, so don’t go there. We made the robots. I hope.

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A SNOWBIRDS’S GUIDE TO LEAVING A CAR IN FLORIDA

If you are one who abandons a vehicle, leaving it behind when you migrate north in the spring, we want you to know there are consequences. Like any other pet left behind when you leave to have fun, your car will pout, and possibly leave liquid puddles in various places to show its’ displeasure. Each autumn when you return, your vehicles get together and come to us and tell us their true feelings, and they have asked us to pass their complaints on to you, the abusive owners of said vehicles. We have covered this problem many times, but some things have changed recently, so we want to update our advice. Here are some of the complaints;

Batteries can die if left connected but not recharged for several months. The best solution is to have someone start the car and let it run for 20 minutes, about once a month. The next best is to leave a smart charger connected full time. It must be a smart charger, or the battery will be ruined. A competent person should check this at least monthly to be sure it is working. If none of the above is feasible, the last option is to remove the negative cable from the battery and hope for the best. A newer battery should last for four to six months this way, but if it dies it should be recharged before it is reconnected to the car. Jump starting a car that has a dead battery is murder on the alternator and the computers. There is no need to remove the battery from the car.

The interior may get moldy from the damp, stuffy air trapped inside. The best solution is to have someone start the car and run the air conditioner for 20 minutes, about once a month. Note the correlation with the solution to the battery problem. The next best solution is to put a container of mildewcide, or a dehumidifier inside the car. Set it in a glass bowl, as they sometimes foam over. If the car is left inside a garage, the windows can be opened to keep it ventilated.

Paint and upholstery may fade and crack if exposed to sunlight. A cardboard or cloth sun-shield can be put under the windshield to protect the dash board and another one put under the rear window can help protect that area. Complete car covers are not recommended because they can scratch the paint and trap moldy air inside.

Although northern cars rust underneath because of salt on the roads, Florida cars rust first on the upper bodies. This is because salt spray from the Gulf will settle on any car not enclosed in a garage, causing corrosion and rust on the body. The best solution is to have the car washed. Ideally, the person who starts it monthly could drive it to a car wash for you. Failing that, having someone wash it in place on occasion would help. If you brought a northern car down to be left here, and you don’t keep it washed, someday the upper rust will meet the lower rust, and, well, may it rust in peace.

Finally, gasoline now contains 10 per cent alcohol and should not be left sitting for more than a few months without a stabilizing additive. All parts stores sell the stabilizers. Add it to the tank before filling it, and leave the tank full for the summer. Then just turn your back on the car and walk away, leaving it behind. Alone. Abandoned. Dejected. Bored. Fending for itself. Faithfully waiting for your return, or for that neighbor to come and fire it up once a month. Really looking forward to getting washed by that neighborhood girl in the bikini. Woo hoo. Things may be picking up.

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A TRUE STORY

THE FOLLOWING STORY IS TRUE. Well, some of it is true. It’s a story about what goes on in the back room of an automotive service center, where the public isn’t allowed. The names of the people have been changed to protect the innocent. Even though they’re all guilty. Everybody is guilty of something, any cop will tell you that, it’s just that some people haven’t been caught yet. To protect the undeserving innocents we will use numbers instead of names. Each of our technicians has a number for identification in our computerized record system. It will take a warrant, or an NSA wiretap to get that information. Here’s what goes down around this place in the back room, out of the public’s eye.

I eat lunch regularly in local restaurants. Many times the meal served is larger than I want to eat in one sitting, so I get a take-out box and bring it back to the shop and put it in our refrigerator, right alongside the various cultures, petri dishes or whatever other lab experiments are assembled therein. My work-mates have the culinary sanitation of a pack of gerbils. There’s some petrified mustard in there from 1936. I figure it will be ok to leave my superior food near their disgusting dishes for a few hours, until I can take it home. There is a fly in that ointment, as well as on the food. It’s my memory. I have a great memory. It’s just short. Either that, or it’s full. So what happens is, I sometimes forget to take it home. Sometimes I remember and come right back for it, sometimes it’s the next day. Doesn’t matter. It’s always gone. One of the Numbered People has eaten my lunch.

Number One takes pity on me and tries to remind me every day, even when I don’t have anything stored. He’s never guilty because he’s the pickiest eater in the world. He only eats food he prepares himself at home, and only eats while sharing a table with his dogs. Sometimes Number Three admits guilt. You left it there overnight. How long is ‘long enough’ to make it fair game? Sometimes it’s the Un-numbered Person. I can’t tell you who that is, to protect her identity, but one time, when I had really raised a sink about it, she brought the remnants to my home that evening, as a peace offering. Once I foiled a plot where Number Four was going to eat it and leave the empty wrapper in Number Three’s tool box for me to find. I shudder to think how that would have played out. Number Three’s protestation of innocence would be interesting, because he is always blamed for almost everything, because everything is usually his fault.

Then there’s the times I do remember to take it home. I put it in our fridge at home, and then when I go to get it, it’s gone. My wife takes it to work for her lunch. You might think a solution would be to eat it myself, at work, before going home. The problem with that is; I would have to heat it up before eating it. We have a microwave. You know how some old caves have stalactites stuck to the ceiling? Well our microwave has spaghetti stalactites stuck to its’ roof. I don’t worry about germs, because they’re nuked each time it’s used, making them sterile germs, but I’m afraid one of those spaghetti stalactites might fall into my food, and it would poke me in the mouth like a needle. You try telling the emergency room nurse I godda spagatta shalagdite schtuck ih ma moush! I’m not doing it.

So if, when you bring your car in, I look a little wan, a little emaciated, you’ll know I’m starving. If you also notice one or more or our staff seeming hale and hearty, well, you be the judge. I already know they’re guilty. Some of them just haven’t been caught. Yet.

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AMERICANS AND THEIR CARS. THAT’S AMORE

The English have their warm beer, the Italians have their pasta, the Germans have their leather shorts, and we Americans love our cars. The Russians have their vodka, The Japanese have their raw fish, the Eskimos have their snow, and we Americans love our cars. We also love fast food. Our equivalent to Nirvana is sitting in our cars in line at a fast food joint. The leading cause of death for Americans is heart disease. The leading causes of heart disease are fatty food and lack of exercise. The leading source of fatty food is drive-through joints, which also require the least exercise, because we’re sitting in our cars. Rome lasted for a thousand years. We ain’t gonna make it that long. If the Romans had invented burger joints, they wouldn’t have made it that long either. The lead in their plumbing took longer to kill them. But back to cars, we don’t mean to imply that other cultures don’t enjoy cars. The English made Jaguars, in which one could properly sport about the countryside. The Italians made Ferraris and Maseratis and Lamborghinis and so forth, with which aristocratic young men could frighten the cows and sheep and peasants in the countryside. Germans make the exquisite Mercedes Benz, engineered like no other car (thank God, say mechanics) in the world, and the nearly unbreakable Volkswagen, except they are made in Mexico now, I hear. The Japanese, who didn’t even have the wheel until Europeans showed it to them, have made excellent cars, but they seem to prefer their bullet trains, because their roads are terrible. That’s why they didn’t bother with wheels in the first place. I mentioned Eskimos and Russians earlier, but neither of them have made any cars worth talking about. Scandinavians, of course make Volvos and Saabs, which are very popular in places like Vermont and New Hampshire, for some reason. Must be the cold.

Although all of these countries made good cars, none of their populace fell for cars the way Americans did. None of them had drive-in restaurants, with curb-hops, or drive-in movies, or drive-in banks, or drive-in pharmacies, or had drive-by shootings, but that’s another subject. Americans treat their cars like a member of the family. Like a pet. Without it, they are lost. Car repair customers are stunned when told they have to do without their cars for a day or two. What to do? How can I get around? Someone has to take me home and pick me up, and take my wife to the hairdressers tomorrow. Take a taxi? Don’t be ridiculous. What would the neighbors think? They would think I couldn’t afford a car. Take a bus? Out of the question. Undesirable people ride busses, and could sit next to me, and I’d have to walk to and from bus stops. Heavens. It’s like having an amputation. It’s un-American I tell you.

The preceding history thesis is not available for college or even high school credit, so don’t copy it.

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ANTI-INTUITIVE GOVERNMENT GUIDANCE ABOUT CARS (OR ANYTHING ELSE)

Intuition is sometimes described as common sense. Common sense is something that less educated people claim to have more of than educated people have. Therefore we can assume (I know, that word makes an ass out of U AND ME) that education decreases common sense. That explains why our educated government people (we’re here to help you) keep doing things that seem anti-intuitive to us less educated types. Let me explain.

In the 60’s and 70’s cars were sometimes hard to start on cold mornings, but were easy to work on. Government mandated emission control devices be installed, which made them run worse and be harder to work on. People complained about the lousy running cars, so government mandated more emission controls and in the 80’s required a light to tell you if the car was polluting (the check engine light). They ran even worse. They never have required a running crappy light, only a pollution light. There has only been one person in history who asked a mechanic to be sure his car wasn’t polluting and he was a nut-case. Two hundred million people have asked to get it running better, and to stick the emission equipment up congress’s tail pipe if possible. As mechanics, that exceeds our mandate. We like to say that the impossible will take a little longer, (and cost extra).

Throughout the 90’s and two thousands (how are you supposed to say that?), American car quality sank and prices increased until the industry finally folded in on itself. Crash. Government took our money from us (taxes) and paid the car companies to keep doing it to us. Our common sense (intuition, remember?) told us to hang on to our old cars and nurse them through until we could afford better. Government decided to trash useable older cars (Cash for Clunkers, remember?) to force us to buy new, using the money we didn’t have because we had been laid off. What the heck, we don’t need money. Credit is easy. Wait, isn’t that what caused the crash? Well, that’s what educated people tell us, and they should know, right? It sounds like they’re telling us overextending caused the problem, and overextending will fix the problem. I’m glad someone else is in charge, because I’m confused.

When you’re