Three Minutes . . . Could Be a Lifetime

By Jennifer Schoenfeld

Just when I was anticipating the most precious milestone in my life, it took an unexpected turn. That’s when I became witness to Divine Intervention.
“I felt weightless. I felt like pure energy.” This was a-once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I had a good idea of what was going on. This was my journey to self-awareness.
I was granted not one, but two experiences so powerful it turned my tragedy into a defining moment.
You will understand how having faith and believing in the Divine One will give you access to an unseen support system. You have the ability to call upon the same power to manifest all your dreams and desires as I have. Believe in yourself that you have the same magic in you to transform your life!
You can connect with and utilize this unlimited power source the Universe offers, by learning to recognize these same signs and symbols that I receive. This is the way you too, can achieve a life filled with joy, peace and contentment.

This book will definitely show you that the possibilities in this life are endless! Make this book your guiding light on your path.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Apr 7, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504344975

Jennifer Schoenfeld

Jennifer Schoenfeld was born in Toronto, Canada. She graduated with a diploma in Interior Design and applied her creative skills within her own successful business. Forever challenging herself she entered the financial industry. A new talent emerged when she decided to become an author. This led her along the path to unveiling and accepting her special gift. She is a member of the Canadian Reiki Association. To learn more, go to: www.jensspiritualhouseofhealing.com

Book preview

Three Minutes …

Could Be a Lifetime

JENNIFER SCHOENFELD

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Copyright © 2016 Jennifer Schoenfeld.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-4498-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-4496-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-4497-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015918701

Balboa Press rev. date: 09/23/2016

Contents

A Note from the Author

Prologue

1

Who We Are

Your Eternal Family

Unfamiliar Roles

Where Our Spiritual Journey Begins

2

A Soul Reborn

Memories Of A Kingdom

The Colour Of Your Aura

Your Emotional Life

The Right To Live Free

3

The World Is Your Playground

The Power Of Perception

4

Souls Are Not Defined By Gender

The Power Of Synchronicity

5

Have The Confidence To Be Yourself

6

Door To The Universe

A Powerful Light Shines Within You

A Universal Lesson

7

It’s Written In The Stars

The Power Of Thought

The Shift

Dark Forces Are Present

The Hands Of Time

Educate With Knowledge

Accept Responsibility

The Crown Chakra Opens Up

8

Look For The Positives

9

I Trust Life

A Higher Power

10

Engrained In My Memory

Dreams Bring Conscious Awareness

Unique Revelations

11

A Shoulder To Lean On

12

Asking Forgiveness

13

Lifting Your Burdens

Souls Connect Through Feelings

Knight In Shining Armour

14

The Boundaries Of Your Mind

Don’t Play The Blame Game

A Message Being Sent

15

It Starts With Your Thoughts

Manifesting Your Desires

Your Role In Manifestations

Your Stronger Than You Think

16

A Repeat Signal

The Sequence Of Time

A Series Of Events

17

Your Path Is Guided

A Message Loud And Clear

18

Trust Faith Is Working In Your Favour

Let Go Of Your Ego

A Magic Eraser

Be True To Yourself

19

Reclaim Your Life

Journey To The Dark Side

God Sends Love And Protection

20

At The Crossroads Of Life

Let Love In

Breaking Through Fear

A Seed Of Doubt

21

A Gift From God

Don’t Live With Regrets

22

Empowered By Your Options

Stay Strong

Stay Positive

23

The Possibility Of Deception

Life Presents Everything

You Always Have Options

24

A Prayer Being Answered

Make A Decision And Follow Through

25

Let Bygones Be Bygones

Don’t Drown In Despair

Open The Lines Of Communication

Stay True To Your Beliefs

One Dream Ends For Another To Begin

Earth Angels

26

Trusting Your Intuition

Listen

Life’s Challenges And Lessons

Patience Is A Virtue

27

A Road Block

Surrendering

28

Between Two Worlds

29

Still In The Dark

A Distress Signal Is Sent Out

30

An Angel To The Rescue

31

Miracles And Self-Healing

On The Right Path

Conclusion

Special Thanks

This book is

dedicated to

my daughters,

Stephanie and Bridget.

A Note from the Author

I made the decision to write this book so I could share my story, with hopes of helping you find all the joy you deserve in life by reconnecting back with the Divine One. I’d like for you to be able to recognize Spirit and learn to feel that life force energy that God sends to us through the Universe.

I believe we choose to come here. Our purpose is to learn lessons for our soul’s growth. There is always a higher plane to aspire to. With predetermined challenges and your family members in place your own story begins with your first breath. The most spectacular and fun part of our life’s learning journey is understanding that we have the mental ability to choose scenarios and we do this through manifestation, as I was about to learn.

I was full of anticipation for the arrival of my first child when, what transpired minutes prior to my delivery and during my child’s death led me to an out-of-this-world experience. We don’t recognize or acknowledge how the universe and God actually work until unforeseen events in life, like the one I experienced, can cause us to change our beliefs in profound ways. It opened my eyes to the reality that a universal, life force energy really exists and it’s present for activation in our everyday lives. The eye-opening results have shown me that we have to be receptive to possibilities beyond our imaginations. Not everything can be seen with the naked eye.

What happened on that fateful day made me go back through my life to find these answers that, to my surprise, were always there. At some points in my life, I doubted my train of thought and then just as easily at other times I accepted them as my norm. Now, there is no doubt.

I know there is an unseen support system coming to us from somewhere out in the universe. Just think; a helping hand filled with unconditional love, is available to you personally, as it is for myself. Spirit is just waiting to help you get through your hardships and fulfill your lessons and finding your life purpose whether you are aware of them being around you or not. When I speak of Spirit I’m referring to angels or from souls of departed loved ones that have crossed over. Support can even come directly from God the Divine One. Spirit is just waiting to help you get through experiences so you can learn your specific lesson(s). It’s so simple. All you have to do is ask them. I’m witness to their support through messages I receive seemingly in disguise, coming to me in many different ways. What’s so spectacular is that it’s given freely. I’d like to show you how I figured it out and how you can also accept and embrace with gratitude all the love available from Spirit and the Divine One.

Use the words contained in this book for guidance to help you identify with your lessons and to help you work through them, as these are your own unique experiences created for your individual journey here. I hope I inspire you to open your mind so you can recognize the path that you were meant to lead, as I found mine.

With my heart on my sleeve, utterly sincere and transparent to my motives, I assume if you’re reading this, you are a seeker too. I hope my experiences shine a light in your conscious mind.

These revelations have taught me my life’s purpose. I’ve been entrusted with a special gift of being able to utilize the life force energy. I’ve accepted my unique gift and chosen to use it to help others.

This book is my gift to you.

My experience with death,

Divine intervention,

A life worth living for,

Let the journey begin.

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I’ve put my intention out there, and with faith

in my heart, I’m anxiously waiting for the

end results.

As time trickles by, it dawns on me as the

drama of this experience unfolds just how much

control, at times I’ve unknowingly had over the events

in my life.

I’m finally starting to see the big picture.

How can I have relied on a predominant intuition

and denied it at the same time for so long.

I should never have let doubt linger in the shadows.

But in the shadows it still lurks. How many

miracles will it take before I believe it?

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Prologue

The attending doctor just stopped her administrations. She’s standing there, just staring down at my newly born child. After what seems like minutes, she leans in to the nurse stationed beside her and whispers something, for her ears only. Reacting to the spoken words, the nurse without responding quickly turns and runs out, leaving us wondering what was asked of her and what the hurry is. I look back to the doctor, who continues to stand motionless, deep in her own thoughts, her unblinking eyes staring down at my baby. No Congratulations—it’s a girl! No smiles. Nothing.

I turn uncertainly to my boyfriend, Craig. "What’s happening?" His mouth turns down; he simply shakes his head and shrugs in ignorance. I shift my eyes to my mother’s as she stands beside him, and I repeat my question only to see a mirror image of Craig’s expression. No response comes; her expression relays her bewilderment. Everyone has turned into statues.

I don’t hear my newborn baby crying. Isn’t a newborn expected to cry? Isn’t the doctor supposed to clear the airways, pick the baby up and lay her in my arms, and then proceed to cut the umbilical cord? She hasn’t even attempted to reach out to my daughter. She isn’t doing anything I expect should be happening after a birth. Why doesn’t the doctor do something? It reminds me of a time when I was young and we used to watch homemade movies from the 8-mm video camera on a freestanding pull-up screen. Everyone is smiling, watching a celebration of you caught on film, when unexpectedly the rolling film jams, instantly freezing the scene in front of you. In anticipation, you wait for someone to fix it, so you can continue to enjoy the scenes of your life. But it’s had the same effect on everyone else—disappointment at the unexpected turn of events. No one moves a muscle, waiting to see if it will self-correct.

The expression on the doctor’s face resembles that of someone who doesn’t know how to move forward from here. Is she in a state of shock? My view is blocked because of my distended stomach, preventing me from seeing the same view everyone else has. What’s wrong? It was probably only half an hour ago that this female doctor entered the birthing room, introducing herself as she approached my bed.

Hi, Jennifer, I’m Doctor Gupta. Her genuine smile and demeanour instantly relax my tense shoulders and mood. I hadn’t realized my body was this tense.

Oh! Hello. Is Dr. Webster coming back? My bewilderment is expressed in my stiff smile and tone of voice. She starts to prep. Evidently, she isn’t going to address my misunderstanding of what transpired earlier that day.

After Dr. Webster, my obstetrician, left my regular room in the hospital this morning—making the decision that one way or the other, I would deliver my baby today—I have not seen him again. So where is he now? Did anyone even try to notify him? I just assumed he would be coming back for the delivery.

So, you’re ready to have the baby, I hear? I will be attending to you today.

I follow her with my eyes as she prepares herself for the delivery. She turns to the nurse for final confirmation that she’s ready to start. My question goes unanswered.

The doctor uses very gentle mannerisms as she gives the nurse instructions. She is handling herself with confidence in a calm, unhurried manner. Given my thoughts on her age, I assume she has some years of practice behind her. The internal debate I’m having is the nurse’s prior alarm while she was reviewing the monitors and her current fraught silence. It’s her behaviour that has set my alarm bells off.

It’s ingrained in me from my childhood not to repeatedly ask anyone—especially highly skilled professionals—the same question when I haven’t gotten a definite answer with the first enquiry, but the mixed messages I’m witnessing are calling out to me, to act. I summon up my courage and ask in a small voice, Is everything all right with my baby?

She must hear my doubts and confusion. She walks over to review the results printing out from the heart monitor. Then she looks at me, and smiles wordlessly.

My sixth sense isn’t giving me a definite answer one-way or the other. Now she comments, Everything is going to be just fine.

These encouraging words are still not matching my visual perception. On the contrary, she’s purposely averting any kind of eye contact with me. The giveaway comes when out of the corner of my eye, I immediately see the nurse’s eyes bulge out after her comment. She instantaneously lowers her head, shielding her reaction, perhaps for the protection of my state of mind. I’m sure she’s silently praying I didn’t see her reaction. The paper printing off the heart monitor must be indicating something no one is willing to share.

The doctor in charge—the one with the higher level of training and hands-on experience (you assume)—isn’t rushing, so I trust and believe the baby is fine. Maybe it’s more like I want to believe the baby is fine, and this is what has me in this state of confusion.

My mind keeps going around in circles. I’m going to great lengths to convince myself that I made the right decision about everything pertaining to this pregnancy as I desperately continue to align my conflicting cognitions. I go back over the past weekend’s confrontation. Trust is such a hard thing for me to do. When you read what I’ve been through so far, you will understand my reservations.

Dr. Gupta and I are in position to proceed. Here comes the moment I’ve been waiting for.

It’s time to push her out. Are you ready?

The doctor looks to the nurse who looks at the monitor and nods when the contraction has come again. She never takes her eyes off the doctor. Dr. Gupta gently encourages me. You can push now. That’s perfect! Okay, one more time, and again.

Stop!

I give her a confused look.

She’s out. She gives me a genuine smile.

It only takes four pushes. I’m shocked. It was so easy.

Wow! That was effortless! I openly express my excitement with respects to an easy delivery and the general excitement of a positive milestone in my life, but I notice they haven’t heard me. Which brings me back to where we started.

I’ve just delivered a child so many doctors in the past told me I’d never have. No one is saying anything. What is evident to me is that no one is smiling. As with everything else in my life, there are no accolades.

I am silenced by the instant mood change. I just wish someone would say something out loud. It’s apparent something is not right, but I’m going to be biased right now, because I’m very familiar with numerous outcomes regarding dramatic life events that appeared. Not all of them are given here, but I easily recall the possibilities as being more than likely to generate positive outcomes. It is harder to imagine, more difficult to comprehend, the latter being more likely to occur.

Could the doctor please explain what is happening? My internal voice repetitively seeks an answer to my question. Why has the nurse run from the room? I hear an urgent call on the main intercom out in the hallway, Code blue!

Somewhere, my conscious mind is sending me a signal, a warning: that call for help on the intercom is associated to my child. We have a situation. I immediately push my fears back trying to reassure myself that it’s someone else’s emergency. There’s never a dull moment in a hospital.

Subconsciously I know the call is for my room. I’m still determined to be overconfident that I was meant to have children, meaning I have unwarranted faith in my intuitive reasoning, judgments and cognitive abilities. I generally don’t overestimate my predictive abilities or my precision of the information I am given. On the other hand, I believe very strongly in the big picture; but then it’s hard to resist falling back on negative thoughts when negative emotional energy swirls around me in the silence of this room. I feel it congealing into a cloak of darkness, reaching out to cover me. It’s hard not to feel the weight of it pressing against me, making me search deeper inside myself, looking for reasons for the outcome. I feel the shadows of doubt slowly creeping back in, making me remember times my confidence led me to miscalculate decisions resulting in initially undesired results but then somehow miraculously turning out. I’m one who gets caught up in the moment when the going feels great. I can’t control my spontaneity. Isn’t life supposed to bring you joy? I believe I have great powers of discernment, and I’m quick to be combative if someone goes against my beliefs for the wrong reasons. I pray my behaviour hasn’t led me to an error in judgment or distorted my perception of reality. God give me the strength to get through this. If there are any guardian angels out there, I could use your support too. Wearily, I rest my head back on the pillow, knowing I have no choice but to wait patiently to have these newly arrived bad feelings validated.

I doubt everything right now as I lie here, having given birth to my own child. Maybe I just didn’t take the time to understand the situation properly. I should have gathered more medical facts and not relied on a vision, now that there’s a chance I might lose my baby.

Some of us get a once-in-a-lifetime experience that convinces us, leaving no doubt that God exists. Others believe but haven’t been honoured with a major life-altering experience, yet they believe without a doubt that an entire spiritual world exists. I know many non-believers who deny the obvious signs that life after death is a possibility. I wonder—is my baby aware of anything right now?

Doubt at the most difficult of times can be your worst enemy. I must remain confident and stay true with the direction of my thoughts, especially now, when something as vitally important as this situation is hindering on my beliefs. I need to explain why I’m thinking this way.

Where

It

All

Began

1

Who We Are

I’ll lie here and rewind the reel of film containing the life events of myself. My given name is Jennifer, but most people call me Jennie. The movie of myself in its entirety is complex and lengthy, and it continues to play, as I hope to live to a ripe old age. To discover the consistencies in the plot, I’ll have to break the scenes down to understand the big picture called life. I never like to waste a minute of time; it’s to precious. So while my body is in idle mode lying here, I’ll use my brain, my conscious thoughts and go back in time beginning with my first memories when I received what I believed were signs from the Universe. As I grew it made me search further for meaning in the unknown. I was looking for validation that these signs and signals I believed I received from the Universe were, in truth, relayed messages from Spirit. I wanted to believe I was correct and that’s why I perceived the events in my life and responded the way I did. Living on this planet I’m also aware that in the recesses of the bright light that shines down on us, a shadow lurks, always alert and on the ready to come seeping slowly out. It forever tries to overshadow my confidence, causing me to doubt and to think I might have misinterpreted my concept of the big picture altogether. Was I hallucinating with what I thought was going on right now in my present situation? If I erred, I needed to know at what point I was led astray. Back to my childhood is where my unique thoughts formed.

Let’s start with myself, my existence as a human being. Based on what I have experienced I think of myself as being made up of two parts: what you see, the physical (my body) and what you can’t see, the non-physical, what is known as a soul. The soul portion I consider to be my ‘energy’ and contain emotions and feelings. This energy has retained all my previous experiences, which would be considered my ‘higher self.’ I call this energy my ‘spirit’ and it takes control of this physical form and brings it to life. From this point we are able to have experiences through manifestation for our soul’s growth, which I believe is our entire purpose here.

We are here to learn lessons. Our intention is to raise our souls energy level up to the same level as the Divine One. In order to work towards this goal our spirit needs a body and a physical world in which to have experiences that challenge our ‘higher self.’ Prior to agreeing to come here we also agreed on some pre-set circumstances that will arise, guiding us to confront our flaws which are deeply embedded into our personal characteristic or battle certain life events to gain this rite of passage. Once we successfully complete one cycle of the journey we move on, and spiral up to the next.

Yes, it was our choice to come here. Those who refuse to leave the security of what they know and confront their fears will never grow. You will never come to peace with yourself. Instead you spend your life as a victim. Take courageous action! It’s all about choice! The magic of life is we have the ability to turn our individual dreams into a physical reality. We can benefit and learn from these positive and negative experiences that we create for ourselves. I am positive you can visualize what you’d like to have happen in your life and it will materialize. You’ve heard the expression ‘living your dream?’ I’ll show you, that statement is true!

Now that you are thinking along these lines, we’ll go a step further and you will see that if our souls came from somewhere to have a human experience on this plane, then the soul can also survive when we leave our bodies and the physical world to move to possibly other dimensions, or in time our soul can return in a new life form, in the future for another lifetime experience. But, before returning from the afterlife, this energy, our ‘spirit’ is available to those in need here in the physical world. Your spirit could become a guardian angel for one of your loved ones.

Now that our souls have entered a physical body, we are able to convey these retained emotions and feelings. These start the moment we are born. The reason a feeling is familiar to you and you are able to identify with that feeling is because your ‘higher self’ subconsciously remembered that exact feeling from experiences in other lifetimes.

I am confident with this knowledge that our souls have lived many lives and that we carry memories over into this world because I have felt these connections.

Knowingly, yet unknowingly, my first emotional recognition started right from the first moment my Aunt Gisela leaned into the crib to gaze down at me. I was told I had an immediate reaction. My body came to attention as my eyes instantly lit up. I offered her the biggest smile, startling both my mother and aunt. I’d never forgotten that story because I felt there was a hidden meaning.

In my heart it was instant recognition, like old friends meeting up again after a prolonged absence. It sounds so innocent, yet could something we take for granted have a far deeper meaning? Many possible answers could explain why a baby would give a reaction like that. My reaction to my aunt has always baffled my mother, which is why she remembers it so vividly too, as she often recalls that first introduction. I didn’t react to anyone else this way. I contemplate, why only her? I quickly recognized this feeling as that of familiar feelings beyond this world, this intuitive recognition, that happened every time my aunt came to visit. I wondered why these instant emotions that rose up in me felt so familiar and comforting whenever her name was spoken and which never diminished throughout the years. I always felt a special, unspoken, heartfelt connection to her. I felt an unlimited supply of love emanate from my soul, giving me comfort and peace while in her presence. My mother saw something she couldn’t explain.

How many times has this happened to you? You make eye contact with someone for the first time, and you recognize a feeling, like you’ve known him or her forever. You respond immediately with elated feelings of comfort and a joyous energy of familiarity that is reciprocated by that individual.

I question and consider everything that might involve an unseen world. My curiosity is piqued as my spirituality continuously beckons to me. Is there a purpose for this? Yes, I believe there is.

The soul shows us its intelligence in a physical body beginning at a young age. I witness how we underestimate the intelligence of a child. Children are born innocent, yet they reveal so much knowledge we probably haven’t tapped in to understanding yet. How do they know what they know, and where did they learn it, if not from unknowingly knowing these memories and emotions from another lifetime?

We don’t really take the time to think about a simple gesture like that of a baby’s expression when meeting a family member for the first time, but think about it, children haven’t had time to learn the knowledge they unwittingly express. If you take a minute to observe life through the eyes of a child, you can’t deny their intelligence is mystical.

This could be another mystery for you. Have you ever noticed that when you ask yourself a question, the universe has a way of answering it for you? Is it coincidence or the cosmos at work? When I started writing this book, I was sitting in a doctor’s office, flipping through a magazine. In my mind, I was questioning myself about this very topic when an article caught my eye that said researchers found evidence that young children are still intuitive and carry mannerisms and memories of a past life into this one. Is this how the universe works? You ask a question, and somewhere and somehow, Spirit finds a way to answer you.

Holistic healers also believe we are born seeing multiple dimensional levels of consciousness. They refer to that as having our third-eye chakra open. This dimension still openly connects us to the spirit world through an ethereal cord. For me, it’s an unshakable conscious thought. These feelings are embedded deeply into my inner self. I have to agree with this belief. It’s like the window to my soul has never closed itself off from the source. What do I know about what happened to me before my conception? These emotions I feel and express come so naturally. This is who I am.

As we grow, learning to be in our new life form, we sometimes miss this gift because we are so consumed with learning to adapt to this world that we are diverted away from our source. Maybe that’s exactly what is meant to happen, to prevent this knowledge from impeding our souls’ development, or to complete karmic dues, which is another one of life’s purposes. If we didn’t learn the lesson(s) we were supposed to in a lifetime it will repeat itself, over and over again.

Do I remember some things on a conscious level that I’ve displayed from birth? I’m sure our eternal forms retain emotions from past-life encounters. It would explain all my experiences with my aunt knowing that family, friends and acquaintances are souls whose purpose is to serve us in our lives now and that we have learned from them over and over. These people might enter your life for a short or long period of time depending on if either of you attained your spiritual lesson.

I’m convinced my Aunt must be familiar to me from a previous life.

As these moments continued to occur, it raised these queries I stored in the back of my mind. If the evidence is true, and I want to believe it is, it gives me comfort that my daughter’s soul was active prior to conception, which resulted in her birth in a physical body. This confidence in knowledge gives me the strength to feel secure in the grave situation presently unfolding. Not only was I trying to manifest this child, Spirit has also been guiding me to this moment for a reason. I just haven’t figured out why yet.

Your Eternal Family

I believe if you ask the Universe a question, the answer will come. It might show up in black ink on a piece of paper in a doctor’s office or you might have to be a little more observant. Be open to seeing something from a new perspective. The only thing that could happen is; it could lead you to the missing pieces of the puzzle you were working on. The benefit is, you found your answer and gained valuable insight.

Little did I know we are drawn to like-minded people. As a young adult, I was drawn to ‘psychics.’ These gifted people could tell me things that would happen in my future. Funny, I tell myself things that will happen to me in my future. These psychics always saw the same future I saw for myself! My favourite question was always about if I’d have children of my own. The message would always be the same: They’d say I would have two children in my future. I believed them without a doubt. I also believe if I wanted children, I would have children. It’s as simple as that!

I remember those words and I think to myself in my currant situation, yes, spirit said I would have children in my future, and now that the future is here I’d like to start with this child. I’m not taking any ifs, ands, or buts. I just don’t know what’s taking this child so long to come around!

This thought makes me think the child’s unresponsive state right now is just temporary. This thought is my reasoning that contributes to calming my frayed nerves. It didn’t even enter my mind that she might never take her first breath.

Then a thought popped into my head and I started to wonder if she was the one who was hesitating. Maybe she was the one who, on the threshold of life, was undecided about if she wanted to stay. I might be the one who wanted a child but she could be the one deciding to choose me as her mother.

Growing up, I wondered if I was the one responsible for specifically choosing my parents, Ingrid and Erwin. I often pondered this idea-typically only on days when things took a turn for the worse. I’d turn inwardly and reflect on my bad luck. Why did I choose these two selfish people who have joined in holy matrimony? They have a different way of showing their love to the way I would prefer. I found comfort believing I choose to be in this family to learn some specific lesson.

If our souls learn the given lesson, then we move onto the next level here on this plane. A lesson might take a person their whole lifetime to grasp. As our souls live for all eternity the option of switching roles within the family dimension is another great opportunity to gain the knowledge our souls seek. When you look at life through a different set of eyes you too will see how our souls have so much to learn.

Unfamiliar Roles

My parents’ explosive behaviour was, for the most part, a combination of their personalities, their upbringing in this lifetime, a new life role for the spiritual soul and maybe, just marginally, a small percentage could have been blamed on my sweet, curious, energetic, creative, love-seeking nature and free-spirited personality of my soul.

Children are known for their youthful energy. Could the reason be that our spirit is so overjoyed at having acquired a new, viable form in which to express us physically? I don’t think I want anything different from any other child—or person, for that matter. I want to be kind and happy all the time, and I can’t wait to experience all those things that will bring me joy and emotional fulfillment. As a child everything interested me — I couldn’t sit still. I just didn’t want to miss a thing. One of my life’s lessons could be to learn self-restraint. (Just to let you know, it’s not working.)

Could my soul that’s been waiting in heaven, be so overjoyed to obtain this physical body to express my feelings and live through emotions from having physical experiences again that patience might not be one of my strengths either? This body is my vehicle, a solid form my soul has acquired with which to accomplish it all.

I might be on the high end of the scale’s energy level. Ha! Who am I kidding; I’m confident my vibrational level is very high, because I never seem to run out of it. Even now as an adult I don’t need any stimulants. I have an internal backup generator that never allows me to run low. I wake up every morning choosing to be in a happy mood and I am. With a smile on my face I am eager and ready to face the day and make the most of what it will bring me. This is my daily expectation.

I understand the purpose of our family dynamics and I see how every family in this lifetime creates an emotional climate that contributes to shaping the character and style of each child. Your actions and your attitude affect the people around you. Later in life it can determine the level of confidence you have in yourself when dealing with obstacles along your path. Having been exposed to positivity evokes different results than being enshrouded in negativity. In the long run, exposure to these outlooks sets the attitude or stage for how we deal with circumstances such as health issues or work-related issues and even how we relate and communicate in our relationships. Our challenge then becomes on learning how to leave these absorbed old habits behind in order to grow, which will lead to finding inner peace. Learning to love ourselves is a big part of this process, but in return, it will provide us with the greatest joy imaginable. Raising our energy vibrations with positivity will enable us to give love and then attract all the love we could possibly want.

Speaking of love, everyone has a story about how his or her parents met. Was it divine intervention my dad’s older brother, Walter, married Gisela, my mother’s older sister? My mother immigrated to Canada from Germany, a year behind her sister. One evening she was invited to accompany her sister to Walter’s parents’ house for dinner. As fate would have it Walter’s younger brother, Erwin would be there too. He coincidentally had just broken up with his girlfriend.

Over dinner, Ingrid felt the attraction to Erwin, and love blossomed. It was a short courtship leading to marriage.

As for my nationality, I’ll say I’m proudly Canadian first, with a European influence. My dad’s mother was Austrian, and his father was Romanian. My grandfather was a professional soccer coach, which required constant traveling and living abroad. While they were living in Northern Italy, my grandmother gave birth to my father.

Have you noticed how certain nationalities have certain characteristics? Was it pre-set for my grandmother to go into labour with my father in that particular country? Were my parents’ mannerisms influenced by the culture they were exposed to?

Growing up, I learned that having a German mother who survived Hitler in World War II, and a father with Italian influences made for some strong personalities. I’m sure they loved each other and their offspring, but what a rollercoaster ride it’s been. It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that as a child I seemed to be accident-prone or was I too adventurous, throwing caution to the wind? They also didn’t have to assume that anything I attempted would sometimes not end up with the desired results I sought. Isn’t life about trial and error? Their short tempers, heavy hands and negative words when these mishaps occurred would eventually penetrate, deeply embedding itself within me on how I viewed my abilities to achieve success with anything in my life.

I know they thought at the time they were doing the best they could to protect me from injury or failure, but had they not tried so fiercely to control my outcomes and shown some support and compassion instead, who knows how differently my character might have developed?

I tried not to believe everything that caused friction was my fault. I was just an innocent child eager to investigate this world and then some.

I greatly appreciate right now that it gave me cause to search my thoughts, allowing me to understand this great wisdom I’ve acquired and to receive intuitive gifts; although back then it was a different story. All I knew was my emotions weren’t used to being contained in a physical form. Should I be punished for my beliefs and actions?

Where Our Spiritual Journey Begins

The world I entered in the 1960’s was far less populated than it is today. In the 1950’s, many immigrants were coming into Canada because of its vast amount of undeveloped land. The economy was booming, enticing these newcomers who had settled in the major city of Toronto to now venture further out, about fifty-five miles out, to a new suburban development. My parents on arrival were drawn to the crystal clear waters of Lake Ontario. The beauty of this new area is this big lake is situated five kilometers south from our house. The next town over has a river where the salmon swim up from the lake to spawn. Apart from the surrounding fields a creek runs a street over from our house.

With the promise of a