I Am Who I Am: Sacredly Accepting My Body Temple

By J. Alison Hilber

Sacred Acceptance of my body temple! What does that mean? How does that look? How do I get there? All excellent questions. Here are the answers: It means loving and accepting my body temple as Spirit loves and accepts meunconditionally. It looks like light, laughter, kindness, compassion and love. We get there as with everything else in life: a shift in consciousness, a change in story, connecting with Spirit, and practice, practice, practice.
If you are a woman with a body, then at one time or another you have probably dealt with some issue addressed in this book. You will learn about the spiritual process of moving from victimhood to empowerment to authenticity to nirvana when dealing with issues of body acceptance, with the plus that it also works with emotional and mental issues as well. The Realms of Revelation give you a structure allowing you to see how you can change the way you see, shift your reactions, and change your life, all without anyone else changing anything at all.
It really is all up to you! Theres a lot of freedom in that!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Oct 14, 2016
• ISBN: 9781504367868

J. Alison Hilber

J. Alison Hilber has a Bachelor’s Degree in Transpersonal Psychology and is a Licensed Spiritual Practitioner with the Centers for Spiritual Living, and is the Director of the Practitioner Program at the New Thought Center for Spiritual Living in Lake Oswego, Oregon. She is the author of Change How You See, Not How You Look: Power Tools for Celebrating Your Body, published in 2002. In addition to being an author, Alison is a teacher, workshop facilitator, speaker, and provides prayer and spiritual guidance to her clients. She is dedicated to constantly evolving her life, unfolding her purpose, and practicing the art of sacredly loving and accepting herself in every moment. Alison lives in Portland, Oregon, with her wife, Pamela (Luna) and her kitty Effie Jean.

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Copyright © 2016 J. Alison Hilber.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-6784-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-6785-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-6786-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016916789

Balboa Press rev. date: 10/12/2016

Table of Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1: Self

Chapter 2: Realms of Revelation

Chapter 3: Shame / Integrity / Values / Agreements

Chapter 4: Law of Attraction / Perception / Responsibility / Resistance

Chapter 5: Ego:Separation / Safety / Fear / Blame / Control

Chapter 6: Negative Self-Talk / Limiting Beliefs / Complaining / Criticism / Excuses

Chapter 7: Mind-Body-Spirit Connection / Self-Worth

Chapter 8: Visibility / Need to Impress / Labels / Our Past

Chapter 9: Health / Food / Diets / Right to Monitor / Weight / Movement / Fashion

Chapter 10: Language:Words / Accepting Compliments / Praise for Conforming / Body Dialogue Competition:Comparison / Cooperation

Chapter 11: Children / Role Modeling / Honoring Each Other

Chapter 12: Feelings:Emotions / Relationships:Intimacy / Attachment:Detachment / Suffering / Expectations:Expectancy

Chapter 13: It’s Never About You / It’s Always About You

Chapter 14: True Love: Loving Kindness / Compassion / Joy / Equanimity

Chapter 15: Compassionate Communication and Our Body Temple

Chapter 16: Grace / T.H.I.N.K. / Vulnerability / Love:Call for Love

Chapter 17: Loveability: Self-Improvement v. Self-Acceptance

Chapter 18: Sacred Acceptance

References

Appendix

Other books by J. Alison Hilber:

Change How You See, Not How You Look: Power Tools for Celebrating Your Body. (Trafford Publishing, 2002)

Permissions:

The Four Stages of Evolutionary Growth as originated by and described in Michael Bernard Beckwith’s book, Life Visioning, have been adapted within I Am Who I Am: Sacredly Accepting My Body Temple with the author’s permission. All rights reserved.

Excerpts from the book The Four Agreements, c 1997, Miguel Angel Ruiz, M.D. Reprinted by permission of Amber-Allen Publishing, Inc., San Rafael, CA www.amberallen.com. All rights reserved.

Cover art and illustration used with permission of Joy Elaine, artist.

Credits:

Cover Art: J. Alison Hilber / Joy Elaine

Figure 1: J. Alison Hilber / Joy Elaine

For Luna

"No amount of self-improvement will make up for a

lack of self-acceptance."

Robert Holden (2014 Hay House Summit Interview)

"Every next level of your life will demand

a different version of yourself."

Evolver Social Movement

Worthy is not a goal; it’s a given.

J. Alison Hilber

Preface

Let me start with this disclaimer: This is a spiritual book based on spiritual principles. This is a book about God, Spirit, Divine Presence, Source, the Universe, Energy. I may use all these terms interchangeably to represent as best I can the unlimited, boundless, unconditionally loving energy from which we all spring, and which lives at the very core of who we each are as living expressions of that Higher Self through the form of our physical body temple. That energy is the foundation of my life and is the absolute grounding of my self-image, self-esteem, self-respect, and the Sacred Acceptance of my body temple and my life.

The concept of God will be invoked constantly, because my belief is that God is all there is. I used to have an unpleasant reaction to the tern God due to my upbringing and early religious experiences. There was a generally held belief that God was a judgmental, disciplinary, male entity, and I was at the mercy of Its whims. I have since come to know that God is not an entity. It is an energy. It is all energy. And though I am not all that God is, all that I am is God. None of what follows here makes much sense if one does not accept that premise. I eventually found a richness in the term God that resonates deeply for me, and so it is the term I use most.

Sacred Acceptance of my body temple: What does that mean? how does that look? how do I get there? These are all excellent questions. Here are my answers: It means loving and accepting my body temple as Spirit loves and accepts me: Unconditionally. It looks like light, laughter, kindness, compassion, and love. I get there as with everything else in life: A shift in consciousness, a change in story, connecting with Spirit, and practice, practice, practice!

In a society that makes it very difficult to love one’s body temple unconditionally (there are a lot of conditions to be met before we are told our bodies are lovable), it takes daily practice to remember the truth of who we are: Spiritual beings having a human experience in a physical body in time and space. It takes a willingness to look at ourselves from the inside out, not the other way around; to look at ourselves through God’s eyes, not society’s lens; and to remember the Truth: We are unique demonstrations of God in form, expressing through unique physical bodies, and are never less than whole and perfect in God’s eyes.

Because we live in our current society, however, this is not a one-time experience. We must remember this Truth every day and practice every day to stay centered in our knowing of our worth and divine purpose. This is not like getting over some event from childhood and then moving on. Everywhere we turn there is some ad, commercial, person, or guru telling women we are not good enough as we are and that we need to do something about it: Buy their product, take their class, or join the gym. They tell us what we can eat, what we can wear, and what level of service or health care we have a right to. Fat shaming has practically become a cultural pass time. Thus, the practice of acceptance in the midst of this incessant barrage is constant. And it is totally doable.

If you are not familiar with the ways in which our society creates this untenable atmosphere, I invite you to read my first book, Change How You See, Not How You Look: Power Tools for Celebrating Your Body, which was published in 2002. I still like this book a lot and think it is a good first read about body celebration and acceptance. I Am Who I Am, however, elevates the practice of acceptance to the sacred which lies within us. Yes, there is much going on out there that needs to change, but our true power lies with what’s going on inside ourselves. Once we bring our intention and attention to that practice, then we are no longer victims of external expectations. It is my desire to share my experiences and insights in a way that may help women (and men) find their own path of Sacred Acceptance.

Sometimes, that path can be a slippery slope! As I was doing my initial edit of this book, I had what might be called a crisis of faith. Not my faith in God, but my faith in myself (which is actually the same thing). I had taken a week at our house at the ocean, where I was blessed with several days of glorious sunshine and warm weather. I got through my first edits in two days and then let it sit for a while as I did other unrelated things. I binge watched Joan of Arcadia (a short-lived but powerful series I highly recommend to everyone). I also got a wonderful essential oils massage, and I read a book by Deepak Chopra entitled Why Is God Laughing? I tell you this because all of these things contributed to my crisis. Each one brought up old memories, old stories, old hurts, and current beliefs I was pretending didn’t exist. I woke up on day five feeling like a fraud. Who the hell was I to write a book about self-acceptance? Who the hell was I to be doing the work I do in the world? Who the hell was I? And after some very messy, ugly, snotty, angry releasing, I realized that this was indeed the question: Who Am I?

I share with you here (because I can) a portion of what poured forth in my journaling (aka ranting), because I believe it absolutely informs this work.

I am addicted to who I think I am supposed to be. I am addicted to who people think I am. I am terrified of them seeing who I am capable of being… good and bad. What will happen to me if they figure it out? What is happening to me now that I have figured it out? I want to be open and loving and accepting and compassionate. And sometimes I am. Sometimes I’m not. Knowing this and accepting it is what sacred self-acceptance is about. It’s not about saying: these are my qualities, I accept them, they can never change. Self-acceptance is not about not changing. It is about always changing and having it be okay because we are always changing, always evolving. It never stops. Sacred Acceptance is knowing that God loves us in every moment no matter what is happening. And that we can love ourselves the same way. So the main question on the ever moving path of self-acceptance is who am I? Do I want to continue to be who I am right now? Do I want to change? Do I have the tools to change? Am I willing, capable and ready to change? Is it okay to change? Is it okay not to change? This is what I need to remember: to change does not mean I’m not self-accepting. It means I accept who I am and have decided to try something else. Accepting who and where I am does not mean I am satisfied with it, that I appreciate it, that I even think it’s a good thing. But I accept it as where I am on the path, as an essential piece of information about myself that will inform how I move forward. Acceptance is not about saying still… it is about moving from a place of love and compassion into who I want to be, who I am meant to be. The only way to see that road is to accept where I am as part of the plan, not as a place to stop. When I think that acceptance means no longer moving ahead, then I get addicted and attached to who I am and begin defending it at every turn. I resist change, which is a useless endeavor. (March 2016)

The minute we get attached to a certain way of being, that is the minute we put up a road block to our expansion. Sometimes we will be in a victim place; sometimes we will be in a power place; sometimes we will be knowing the truth of God’s presence and living in nirvana. They will all come and go. The work comes with knowing, believing, and using the information that shows up as essential to the journey. There is nowhere we are headed, no end goal, no magical I am perfect now, and so I’m done. There is only who am I right now and how is that moving me on my eternal journey of knowing God within?

This is the path of Sacred Acceptance. Notice it is the "path of’ not the path to" Sacred Acceptance. Because this is what God reminded me between nose-blowings: there is no end to the path. There is no final place we achieve and say I’m done. Life is a spiral, always swinging past the same stuff on the path upward; there is no done. There is never a done to anything. There is only continuing evolution and growth, moving through things at a different vibration from a different perspective. In fact, the minute we think we have arrived, that is generally the moment God knows it’s time for some new surprise to open us back up to the continually shifting, evolving journey.

In terms of the body temple, this means that not only will our bodies change as we age, but they will change as our view of ourselves change, as our ideas of how we wish to live change, or as how we wish to show up in the world changes. We are eternally evolving and not static in who we are. Bodies change, there’s no getting around it. Sometimes we have control over the changes and sometimes we don’t, but there will always be something. We can study our astrological sign, find ourselves on the Enneagram, or take the Myers-Briggs personality test as we try to fit into what others need us to be, or what we think we need to be to be okay or safe or loved. While looking at all of that can be enlightening in shifting our perspective, it isn’t a permanent snapshot of who we are.

What I know now is that creating a definition of who we are and getting attached to it is the greatest block to our growth. We get addicted to who we think we are and resist any changes that don’t fit our vision. We are afraid of what others will think, whether we still fit in, whether we will still be safe, and whether we will still be seen, heard, loved, and accepted. We want to be special and independent. We say this is who I am and I will not / cannot change it. Both the will not and the cannot come from that underlying fear of who will I be then. It can be scary because our