Wife of Salvador Demondo: Her Memoirs

By Gypsy Rose

As a dynamic among most marginalized parents, no planning goes into this procreation. They beget as many children as they want. The parents tell the oldest to finish school, earn and give all of the money he earns to the parents. In this case, if the oldest wants to pursue advanced studies, he will not have the means. In most families, the father he waits for the oldest to be old enough to work and lets his wife earn for the entire family. The wife builds this relationship with the oldest and she treats him as if he is their "money savior". He gives all his income to the parents because it is what he "woke up" to, becoming in essence the breadwinner. Refer all questions to the eldest. Call the eldest collect if you have problems. Wake up the eldest if there is something you don't understand. Ask money from the eldest if you need money for school. . . The eldest seems to be the center of solutions and restoration. The foregoing would have been great in a setting where there are no educational loans and students graduate debt free. But, lets face reality, not on Philippine soil!

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Mar 11, 2016
• ISBN: 9781491792407

Gypsy Rose

Gypsy Rose is a pilgrimage lover who thinks of her children, schedule of Masses, her journal, still shots, videos - in that order - wherever she goes. She is fond of varied types of architecture, enjoys the art of Polynesian dancing and listening to drums. Gypsy also likes to travel and would very often be seen going off to different places on a whim. And because she likes to travel, she also loves to sample the foods in all places she goes to. This staunch supporter of children and women’s rights, tends to her children, her house and garden meticulously.

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Copyright © 2016 Gypsy Rose.

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ISBN: 978-1-4917-9220-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4917-9240-7 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 03/10/2016

Foreword

Looking over used goods at a thrift store, I chanced upon this diary of sorts and saw a pile of old papers in a hidden compartment of a very antique chest of drawers which I eventually bought. (I had one exactly like it so I knew to look for hidden spaces in the older furniture like I had in my other houses.) There was nowhere I could trace it to its rightful owner. Some were drawings as if done by children with crayon scribblings done attractively all over the page. My heart says she will enjoy some fresh air if these memoirs saw the light of day.

As I read through the pages I remember my own children. I would treat them with respect and lift them up to the heavens as an offering to the Lord that I was given the opportunity to love them.

Sylvanna, wherever you are, Io ti saluto!

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This is for my precious children . . .

and all the wives and children of the world.

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Prologue

In my life experience, it is a dynamic among most marginalized parents to spit out as many children as their loins can muster. They don't think when they procreate. When it is time to send the children to school, the parents tell the oldest to finish school, earn and give most of the money (to the parents) he/she makes to be spent on the younger siblings. In the meantime, if the oldest wants to pursue advanced studies or wants to do something with his life, he/she will be hard pressed. In most families, after the father is done siring his progeny, he stays home, gets on with his life and waits for the oldest to be old enough to work. The mother who mostly deals with the children builds this relationship with the oldest where she treats him as if he is the savior of the family. The father becomes a side player, one of the worker bees having impregnated the Queen Bee. He would claim would later claim he is done with babysitting BUT silently maintains power over the family.

The oldest child would go on to help the parents because it is what he /she woke up to or grew up with. The parents peg this oldest child's behavior as being very helpful and thoughtful of their younger siblings. The oldest, in essence, becomes the savior of their family. Refer all questions to the eldest. Call the eldest, collect, if you have problems. Wake up the eldest if there is something you don't understand. Ask money from the eldest if you need money for school. . . The eldest seems to be the center of solutions and restoration.

The foregoing would have been great in an economy which has no educational loans where kids graduate debt free. But facing reality, it isn't, not on Philippine soil! Why don't the parents earn additional income while they are still healthy and not RELY on their children to send younger siblings to school? What happened to parents modeling being industrious, hardworking and answering to the responsibilities and call of parenthood? Why aren't the parents infusing values of perseverance instead of them being in the wretched image of poverty from which there is no tomorrow? Why don't the parents work two jobs the same way Americans do?

Okay if the parents are sickly or disabled and cannot earn money on their own but . . .THIS IS A VERY SICK DYNAMIC. Even the children in that marriage swim in it and act like everything is normal. I am not aware, at the time of this writing, of any journals or studies geared in this direction. I am not aware of any sociological or anthropological document that has sifted, chewed on and discussed this dynamic but it is something that has created a knot in my stomach and has remained a pea pod in my bed.

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You will know that I am a one fourth Italian, part Spanish, part Filipino from my mother. I was born and raised in Cebu, Philippines, and moved to Wisconsin from Illinois. The whereabouts of my in-laws and their identities are spun in a fog but you can deduce from the story. What is important is my memoirs are told.

We shall refer to my father-in-law as E. Buddy is my husband. Buddy is Salvador's nickname. Salvador has been referred to by his mother as savior of their world. Their - as in the whole family which consists of mother, father, aunts and uncles who live with them. I always asked why doesn't the rest of their family think? A family structure pretty much like the Tibetans where the whole family stays together even after marriage. Buddy's mom saw him as their thinker, their financier, their money guy. It is as if every time they had a problem, the whole town sat around him and listened to him hook, line and sinker. His father was very much around but she talked in terms of Let's ask Buddy ....., we have to let Buddy know......, Leave that chicken drumstick for Buddy. Hence the name, Salvador DeMondo. I talk about the mentioned years as they have bearing on me, and later on, Buddy.

Buddy's mother was a simple woman but complex in that she could wreak havoc on your life if you did not know any better. She had beautiful dark brown eyes, dark olive skin and smiled