Crazy Janitors

By Ruth Toby

Cathy and Rick are the owners of a janitorial company. Their employees are ruining homes and annoying their employers. Janitor Fat John eats the oysters, a treat for Mrs. Schmitts daughter. In another house, Fat John was chased out with ripe tomatoes. Stale Kronchy, who starts shooting at Rick, is chasing Rick in the freeway. Stale was held by a fat black policewoman who kept forting, shouting, and slapping Stale while the wind blows away her wig.
The janitorial companys owner Rick is making love to Christine when Cathy, his wife, is calling him, and she hears Christine moan Oh little hot dogwhich was Cathy and Ricks sexual attribute. Cathy buys a big doll from a sex shop as a gift to punish Rick, but the former loves it. Joseph Zigler, a young Orthodox Jew, gives Rick a phony address and a phone number, and he starts to clean a house when he slides and breaks things, ending in falling into a cactus. Terrified, he runs away from the house.
Stale Kronchy behaves unconventionally in a session with a woman psychologist, and when he comes out, he finds out that Fat John and Pat are janitors working for Rick. Stale kidnaps the janitors and forces them to clean his very filthy mobile home under the watch of a big bold dog called Kojak. Stale leaves the two janitors without any transportation. Stale and Kojak are seen sitting under a tree outside a church, where a wedding party is prepared with food and drinks.
Blowie Scooprider, a weirdo who owns a talent agency, receives Pat to clean his office. He falls in love with Pat, sending her cheap and strange gifts. Debbie, an attractive blond, is sexually harassed while she cleans an office building. She gets a cleaning job in a big estate in Beverly Hills belonging to Helen, a lesbian who falls in love with Debbie. Ed Barnstoff believes in getting women with a lot of bullshit and pretends that a house of a client is his own. He wears their jewelries and dressing gown, smokes their cigar, and succeeds into luring a young woman for sex.
Ricks client Paul OHare is getting married outside the same church where Stale and Kojak, the dog, are waiting for the food. Stale orders Kojak to bring him food. Kojak is bringing Stale a whole chicken and then a bottle of champagne. Stale Kronchy motions to Kojak to help himself to the food and then gives him the permission to have fun by ruining the whole party. The father of the bride hurries the priest to marry the couple before the groom changes his mind. He drags Father Murphy by his ear and calls the priest a faggot.
Father Murphy was doing the wedding ceremony when Paul OHare, who is the groom, provides a folded fifty-dollar bill as a ring to his bride. Father Murphy sneezes, and his false teeth falls on Briggitte OHare, the new bride, losing her ring. Father Murphy picks it up and puts it in his pocket. Helen, Debbies new friend, arranges a leaving party for Debbie, who is going to launch an acting career. Cathy arranges the party in her office. Blowie Scooprider arrives with a Rolls-Royce and a midget helper named Buru. Christine, Briggitte, and Cherry tricks Buru to go to the ladies room. They take his entire clothes off, giggling and looking at his penis. They throw his clothes away through the window. Cathy finds out that Briggitte slept with Rick. Cathy is just about trashing Briggitte out from the party when the fat black policewoman arrives, inquiring about the noise. But then later, she joins the party.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 24, 2014
• ISBN: 9781496947352

Ruth Toby

Ruth Toby was born in Israel in 1945. She immigrated to USA in 1981. Since her childhood, people appreciated her singing. At the age of sixteen, Ruth started singing professionally. She moved to England in 1966 and made three records. Living in Burbank, California, Ruth owned a hamburger stand and spent her earnings in building a recording studio, where she wrote and composed over one hundred pop songs. She has written four screenplays and published a book about her life.

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© 2014 Ruth Toby. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse  10/15/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4969-4736-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-4735-2 (e)

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PROLOGUE

FADE IN:

INT/ EXT. – WEST HOLLYWOOD – MENDELSON’S RESIDENCE – DAY.

JOSEPH ZIGLER.

Joseph Zigler an intellectual type teenager with an unmistakable orthodox Jewish appearance holding a bible under his armpit.

JOSEPH.

Joseph is pushing a mop-bucket slowly through a wet kitchen floor.

As Joseph approaches the steps leading to the Green house, he slips, landing on the wet floor with his buttocks, the mop-bucket reels down the steps and hits a flowerpot, breaking it.

JOSEPH.

Joseph adjusts his round, thin-rimmed glasses on his face, ensures his religious cap (kipelle) is intact on his head.

JOSEPH.

Twisting his ringlets around his fingers and places them behind his ears.

Walking into the Green house, he picks up a broom and climbs a ladder precariously.

JOSEPH, FLOWER POT.

He begins to sweep cob webs off the wall. Losing his grip on the broom, it knocks down a flowerpot hanging from the ceiling, the ladder begins to rock from side to side, and Joseph is in a panic. Joseph loses his balance, He jumps off the ladder and lands on a young cactus plant with his buttocks.

LADDER, SHELF.

The rocking ladder knocks down two flowerpots as it falls on a shelf.

JOSEPH, KITCHEN.

Picking himself up from the cactus plant, he winces in pain one hand on his waist, the other removing little cactus thorns from his buttocks, he walks unsteadily into the kitchen which is still wet.

JOSEPH, KITCHEN.

As he continues to walk unsteadily, he slips again, slides and hits a table, sending a tray containing wine glasses crashing to the floor, his pair of glasses drop on the floor.

GLASSES.

The glasses have a crack on the right lens.

JOSEPH ON WET FLOOR.

Gesticulating resignedly, Jewish fashion, Joseph looks up at the ceiling as if to seek divine help.

JOSEPH.

Retrieving his glasses he puts them on. Leaving the kitchen slowly, he walks into the Green house, where he takes his bible from a shelf, adjusting his ringlets over his ears Joseph leaves the house. He is climbing a bicycle clumsily and riding away.

The bible tucked under his armpits falls, Joseph loses control of his bicycle, which moves in a zigzag manner until he falls down.

Joseph gets up frantically and starts riding away, looking back continuously.

INT/EXT – GLENDALE – GRAPHIC ARTS COMPANY – NIGHT – DEBBIE HUNT.

DEBBIE is an attractive, blonde girl of twenty-three, wearing a mini-skirt, Debbie cleaning a desk in an exquisitely furnished office. In the background, a young man and a woman wave good-bye to SAM O’GRADY as the former leave the office.

Sam O’Grady is a red-haired Irishman, with the rugged features of a prizefighter.

SAM.

Sam is staring at Debbie; his face reveals sexual lust, his Adam’s apple moves rhythmically as he swallows saliva in undisguised sexual desire, a silly grin appears on his face.

DEBBIE.

Debbie is bending over with a hand brush retrieving junk from beneath the desk.

SAM’S – DEBBIE’S BACKSIDE.

Debbie reveals her buttocks, barely covered by a black skimpy G-string type underpant.

BACK TO SCENE SAM.

Pulling down his tie, and undoing his collar button, he repressing sexual feelings.

SAM, DEBBIE.

As Sam’s eyes are transfixed on Debbie’s backside, his hand clutches a bulge that is beginning to develop in his groin. Devious look on his face, he reaches out for a box of office pins, which he begins to spread on the carpet as his face muscles move like sexual pervert.

SAM, DEBBIE.

Debbie turns around; Sam feigns an accident and knocks down the box of clips increasing the mess on the carpet. Reacting to the sight of the mess, Debbie walks towards Sam bending over; she begins to retrieve the clips into its box.

SAM.

A silly grin appears on his face.

SAM, DEBBIE.

Sam brings out a small make-up mirror from the breasts pocket of his jacket and positions it beneath Debbie’s mini-skirt enjoying looking at the mirror; he moves the mirror closer and closer towards Debbie’s underpants.

SAM, DEBBIE.

Debbie sees the mirror, she is turning around, and she faces Sam

SAM, DEBBIE.

They both rise to their feet slowly, as Debbie stares at Sam’s shameless face with his silly grin. Debbie slaps Sam on his face. Sam begins to walk away.

SAM.

Sam has a masochistic smile of satisfaction on his face, heading for the door, which he opens walking into an adjoining office; he closes the door behind him, rubbing his cheeks gently than kissing his fingers.

DEBBIE.

Debbie is staring at the closed door in disbelief. The door is slowly opens Sam’s is standing at ease naked with only a roll of toilet tissue covering his genital area.

DEBBIE, SAM.

As Debbie stares at him in perplexity, Sam spreads his hands out like a seasoned entertainer, sending the roll of tissue flying in the air.

SAM

WHALAH

DEBBIE.

Debbie face is registering extreme shock. Debbie is running out of the office.

INT – BEVERLY HILLS – DAY - MRS. MALOTROP’S RESIDENCE – FAT JOHN

FAT JOHN flabby in his early twenties is dusting furniture with a feather duster in the Malotrop residence.

FAT JOHN, BATHROOM

We hear the sound of a shower running as Fat John approaches the bathroom stealthily.

FAT JOHN, UNDERWEAR

With the tip of his fingers, Fat John picks up female underwear from the bathroom floor he smells the underwear and let falls to the floor he tiptoes further into the bathroom, where the shower is still running.

MRS. MALOTROP, FAT JOHN.

Unbeknown to Fat John, Mrs. Malotrop appears at the door behind him, holding a bucket.

FAT JOHN, SHOWER.

Moving the shower curtains slowly, Fat John peers into the shower.

MRS. MALOTROP, FAT JOHN, SINK.

Looking at Fat John from the corner of her eyes, Mrs. Malotrop tiptoes to the sink, where she fills up a bucket with cold water. Fat John, with a mixture of anger and disappointment, flings the shower curtains wide open and back to its original position. As he turns around, he bumps into Mrs. Malotrop who savagely pours cold water from the bucket on Fat John’s head.

FADE OUT:

END OF PROLOGUE:

FADE IN:

INT/EXT – NORTH HOLLYWOOD – DAY - STARFINDER TALENT