Ego Vs. Soul in Sports: Essays on Sport at Its Best and Worst

By Ken Reed

Imagine.

Imagine the world of sports without ego.

No more trashtalking, showboating, cheating, cheap shots, or running up the score. No more wackadoo parents and coaches ruining youth sports. No more prima donna athletes with an inflated view of their own importance.

The win-at-all-costs mentality? Gone. The me-first athlete? History. Greedy owners that put their wallets ahead of whats best for the game? Bye-bye.

As John Lennon once sang, Imagine . . .

Sports have always brought out the best and worst in people. One of the compelling aspects of sports is that character is openly on display. Problem is, the ugly side of sports is getting way too loud these days. The ego in sports has run amok. And as the ego takes center stage, win-at-all-costs (WAAC) and profit-at-all-costs (PAAC) mentalities and behaviors begin to dominate. Things like sportsmanship start to take a backseat.

Nevertheless, despite all the ego- and greed-based negativity in todays sports world, there are still some pearls out there, little stories in the back of the sports section that stir the soul. While too many sports center headlines bring forth feelings of shame, its the snippets about obscure athletes that bless us with shining examples of the human spirit and give us reason for hope.

This is a book of short essays about sport at its best and sport at its worst. Hopefully, the book is somewhat entertaining and, occasionally, even enlightening. Ultimately, however, the books goal is to inspire those who love sports to find a way to make the sports world a better place to be.

And that means a place with a lot less ego and a lot more soul.

Because in the big picture, it really is about how you play the game.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 9, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524541507

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Copyright © 2016 by Ken Reed.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-5245-4151-4

      eBook         978-1-5245-4150-7

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 09/09/2016

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Contents

Dedication

Preface: What This Book Is About

Introduction

Sport At Its Best

Soul-Driven

Former Football Star Teaches the Game of Life

What’s Right About Sports

The Meaning of 42

Ali’s Legacy: Stand Up For Something

Some Good Thinking On Sports

Let’s Play Two! What We Can Learn From Ernie Banks

The Enduring Allure of Baseball

Joe Maddon: A Model for Coaches at All Levels

Real Sports Heroes Make a Difference On and Off the Field

75 Years Later, Gehrig’s Still the Man

Sports Participation for All

Why Sports?

Chris Borland and the Courage to Avoid Avoidance Behavior

The Powerful Allure of Sports

The Role of the Sports Columnist:

Harmon Killebrew: The Killer Was All Class

Sportsmanship and True Competition:

The Spiritual Aspect of Sports

New Trend? Some Multi-Sport

Athletes are Pushing Back Against Specialization

Indiana Situation Proves Sports

Can Drive Socio-Cultural Change

Yogi Berra’s Distinctively Well-Lived Life

Sports’ Little Pleasures Are to Be Savored

Title IX Should Be Celebrated, Not Attacked

Why We Love Sports, Warts and All

Are Sports Really Fun?

Old Teammates: Connected for Life

Kaepernick’s a Patriot and His Critics Are Way Off Base

Today’s Ethically-Challenged Sports World Needs John Wooden

Number of Socially-Conscious Athletes on the Rise

The Olympics: The Bad, the Ugly… and the Good

Myth That Title IX Hurts Men’s Sports Persists

Elite Athletes Learn to Manage Anxiety

Sports and PE for All

Why Play Sports? It’s Good For Your Brain!

A Hoops Showdown: Pro or College?

Title IX a Winner For a Free, Just and Equitable Society

Sport At Its Worst

Ego-Driven

NFL Players in Denial on Brain

Trauma; Parents Can’t Afford to Be

MLB Incidents Reveal Warped Ideas of Manhood in Sports

Head Trauma: Tennis, Football and the Brain

Early Recruiting of High School Athletes Out of Control

NCAA’s Complete Disregard for Fairness is Disgraceful

Coaches — At All Levels — Must

Do More to Prevent Campus Rapes

NFL’s Soldier Salute a Shameful Sham

NCAA Tourney: Entertainment

Spectacle and Educational Charade

NFL’s Relocation Game Screws Fans

MLB Must Go Retro to Survive, Prosper Long-Term

It’s Time to Put the Youth Back in Youth Sports

Concussion Focus Needs to Shift from

NFL to Youth & High School Football

Jack Welch’s Formula for Transforming Youth Sports

Solution Regarding Whether or Not

to Pay College Athletes is Simple

Youth Sports Burnout Driven by

Achievement by Proxy Syndrome

Disturbing Sport Specialization Trend Continues Unabated

Avoidance Behavior on Concussions

Hurting Our Young Athletes

Harbaugh Gets $50 Million; Players Get Pizza Stipend

WAAC and PAAC at Root of Youth

and High School Sports Problems

Lombardi-Esque Coaches Continue to Hurt Sports

Youth Sports Injuries and Burnout a Major Concern

LGBT Athletes Still Facing Harassment and Discrimination

Is it Time for a National Sports Commission?

Youth Sports Specialization Defies Logic

Kobe Right About Ego-and-Greed-Driven AAU Basketball

Hey NLRB, Do You Think College

Football Players Are Employees Now?

King-Devick Concussion Test Should

Be Part of High School Football

Physical Fatness Epidemic Hitting Our Youth

Stern’s Basketball Legacy Not One to Celebrate

Another Sign College Sports Continue to Spin Out of Control

Youth Sports World is Insane

NHL Remains in the Stone Age

Warped Sense of Manhood in Sports Needs to Change

Forget Snyder, It’s Time to Target the Redskins’ Advertisers

It’s Time to Bench Tyrannical Coaches

America Is In a State of Denial When It Comes to Football

We’re Losing Ground on the Title IX Front

It’s Time to Put the Youth Back in Youth Sports

It’s Time for the Doctors To Weigh-In on Hockey Fighting

NCAA’s Approach to Concussions is Barbaric

The Death of PE

Spelman College Moving In the Right Direction

The Olympics and Crass Commercialization

Stop the Amateur Myth in College Sports Already

Sanity Check for Hockey and Soccer

Television Runs Sports, And That’s Not Good

There’s No Place in Sports for The Code

It’s Time the Fans Ran the Show

Are High School Athletics Dying?

Fighting Keeps Hockey a Niche Sport

Getting Your Bell Rung Is Serious Stuff – Especially At the

High School and Youth Levels

DodgeBall Has No Place In Our Schools

Overcommercialization is Zapping

Sport of Its Ideals and Values

A One-Step Fix for NBA Hoops

It’s Summer Time. Time to Get Real

Personal Reflections

Why My Wife and I Pulled Our Daughter Out of Soccer

Pressure to Win Impacts All Coaches

– Even at Fourth Grade Level

Reflections On a Baseball Idol

Talkin’ With Dad

Sports Gambling? Legalize It!

Sports Gambling Laws Continue to Baffle

Thanksgiving

Sporting Memories of Life With Mom

Baseball Innocence

Golf: A Five-Hour Battle Between Your Ego and Soul

Kids and Sports: The Rollercoaster Ride of Your Life!

Choking: Sportsworld’s Taboo Subject

Conclusion The Ongoing Battle in SportsWorld is Ego vs. Soul

Acknowledgements

"For when the One Great Scorer comes

To mark against your name,

He writes – not that you won or lost –

But how you played the Game."

― Grantland Rice

Dedication

To my teammates through the years,

I loved being part of a team with you, sharing a common goal and the ups and downs of a given season. I think the best part about sports is that they connect people -- often for life. That’s why even if we don’t talk or get together much these days that original bond remains. And I treasure that.

To my daughters as they embark on adulthood,

It is my deepest hope that wherever you go in life, whatever you do, whatever your passions, you will stand up for something you strongly believe in. Trust your heart. Be courageous. And go for it – whether others agree with you or not! As Joe Ehrmann says, ultimately, life is about relationships and having a cause bigger than yourself.

To my wife and best friend,

Thank you for supporting – and in some cases, tolerating ☺ - my passion for sports through the years.

Preface

What This Book Is About

Once you realize that we’re dealing with soul and ego, and that alone, life becomes much more simple.

—Unknown

We each have two voices in our heads: the soul and ego. Our challenge is to live driven by the soul, not the ego. Every day. The ego is always wrong. The choice, however, is ours.

-Karen Casey

As a columnist, author and sports policy analyst, I’ve been examining and writing about sports issues and problems for a good chunk of my life. My passion for analyzing and writing about sports topics began back in high school when I was the sports columnist for the school newspaper.

Through the years, it’s become more and more clear to me that sport at its best is driven by soul-based decisions and behaviors, while sport at its worst is driven by ego-based decisions and behaviors.

To me, when sports are soulful, they have a spiritual quality about them. They bring out the best in us, not just as athletes but also as people. Soulful sports have a unifying, cooperative nature – even between competitors. Opponents push each other, but there’s a sense of fairness and honorable behavior involved. Integrity and character are of utmost importance.

On the other hand, when sports are ego-based, there’s a noticeable lack of spiritual awareness. Win-at-all-costs (WAAC) and profit-at-all-costs (PAAC) mentalities dominate. Ethically-objectionable – and sometimes even corrupt – decisions, behaviors, and policies dominate the landscape.

In attempting to develop solutions to the various problems and issues in sports today, I believe our overarching goal must be to tame our egos and be driven by our souls. Easier said than done, for sure. Nevertheless, it’s a worthy endeavor if we hope to mitigate the negatives in SportsWorld so that all stakeholders might have a better sports experience in the future.

This book is a selected compilation of my writings on sports issues from the last several years. Some entries are columns (a few slightly modified) from Huffington Post or elsewhere; some are League of Fans blog entries; a couple are short essays, derived in part from my previous book, How We Can Save Sports: A Game Plan; some are excerpts from position papers or issue backgrounders I’ve developed; and some are simply random streams of consciousness at a given point in time.

The pieces that follow aren’t in chronological order. Instead, they are roughly organized by issue, topic or theme under broad, general headings. I’ve also included a section of personal reflections on various sports-related topics that don’t seem to fit anywhere else.

It’s my hope that these writings are somewhat entertaining, and even educational in some areas. Primarily, however, it is my hope that you will read something here that inspires you to work -- in whatever way you can -- to make SportsWorld a better place.

And to me, that means a place with a lot less ego and a lot more soul.

Introduction

Imagine.

Imagine the world of sports without ego.

No more trashtalking, showboating, cheating, cheap shots or running up the score. No more wackadoo parents and coaches ruining youth sports. No more prima donna athletes with an inflated view of their own importance.

The win-at-all-costs mentality? Gone. The me-first athlete? History. Greedy owners that put their wallets ahead of what’s best for the game? Bye-bye.

As John Lennon once sang, Imagine…

Sports have always brought out the best and worst in people. One of the compelling aspects of sports is that character is openly on display. Problem is, the ugly side of sports is getting way too loud these days. The ego in sports has run amok. And as the ego takes center stage, win-at-all-costs (WAAC) and profit-at-all-costs (PAAC) mentalities and behaviors begin to dominate. Things like sportsmanship start to take a back seat.

Too often, it seems, SportsWorld’s unspoken refrain goes something like this: (apologies to Allen Iverson and his infamous rant about practice):

Sportsmanship? Sportsmanship? We’re talking about sportsmanship? What does sportsmanship matter? I’m talking about winning. I’m talking about my next contract and my latest endorsement deals…. I’m talking about doing whatever it takes to try and get a scholarship for my kids, Tyler and Alyssa…. I’m talking about winning a league championship… and a State Cup…. I’m talking about increasing luxury suite and club seat revenue…. I’m talking about that dream D-I job I’m after…. Sportsmanship? That’s a quaint little notion but it’s way down the list of my real priorities.

Ego-and-greed-driven sports behavior is everywhere, at every level. Its rise is overshadowing the true essence of sports.

If ego in sports was just limited to greedy, I got to get mine pro athletes and owners, the pain wouldn’t be so sharp and deep.

But ego drives college sports too — at least at the big-time Division I level where universities have sold their collective souls to the athletic department and chucked their educational values in the process.

Sadly, it’s also seeped down to the high school level. Schools across the country are taking big dollars from the McDonald’s and Coca-Cola’s of the world in order to boost athletic department budgets. The junk food giants are allowed to advertise at sporting events and sell their products inside the schools. Sometimes their logos are plastered on school walls. School administrators sign these deals while studies about the childhood obesity crisis and its negative impact on the short-and-long-term mental and physical health of our kids sit on the corner of their desks.

And youth sports. Ahh, youth sports. The last bastion of sports purity, right? Wrong.

Today’s youth sports scene is about powerful soccer, basketball and volleyball clubs fighting each other for 10-year-olds they can funnel into their elite competitive programs. It’s about coaches whose personal identities are tied to the number of state championships on their resumes. It’s about parents screaming on the sidelines at referees -- or each other -- while their eight-year-olds look on from the court.

Despite all the ego-and-greed-based negatives in today’s SportsWorld, there are still some pearls out there. Little stories in the back of the sports section that stir the soul. While too many Sports Center headlines bring forth feelings of shame, it’s the snippets about obscure athletes who bless us with shining examples of the human spirit that give us reason for hope.

I think my favorite such story involves two college softball teams who were battling for a playoff berth, Western Oregon and Central Washington.

Sara Tucholsky, a light-hitting senior for Western Oregon (4 hits in 34 at-bats at the time), came to the plate and hit a three-run homer against Central Washington. She had never hit a home run in her life before, high school or college, so she understandably was extremely excited as she approached first base. As a result, she missed the bag. When she turned to go back to touch first base she twisted awkwardly and her knee gave out. Tucholsky crumpled to the ground in pain. In tears, Tucholsky crawled back to first base. Her ACL was torn.

The umpires surveyed the scene and declared that college softball rules say that Tucholsky’s teammates and coaches couldn’t help her around the bases. In fact, if she couldn’t make it around the bases, she’d only be credited with a single, not the first and only home run of her career.

Then Mallory Holtman, first baseman for the opposing Central Washington team and the conference’s all-time home run leader, entered the discussion and said, Excuse me, would it be okay if we carried her around the bases and she touched each bag with her good leg?

The umpires conferred for a bit and then said that would be permissible. And so Holtman and Central Washington shortstop Liz Wallace lifted Tucholsky up and carried her to second base, gently lowering her so she could touch the bag with her foot. They did the same thing at third base and home plate.

By the time the three of them reached home, the 100 or so fans in attendance were standing and applauding, many of them with tears in their eyes.

Western Oregon ended up winning the game 4-2 on the strength of Tucholsky’s three-run blast. But numbers on a scoreboard seem so trivial when thinking about that game.

Something more important than a sports contest took place that day.

What made Holtman do it?

Holtman said her coach, Gary Frederick, taught her that winning is not everything.

Western Oregon coach Pam Knox said Holtman’s act came from character and as a result she stepped up and did the right thing at the right time.

They’re playing for a coach (Frederick) that instills [character], said Knox.

Whatever made Holtman do it, it’s certainly beautiful stuff.

To me, sports don’t get any better than what happened that day. Everyone on both teams, and in the stands, won that afternoon.

Because in the big picture, it really is about how you play the game.

Sport At Its Best

Soul-Driven

Former Football Star Teaches the Game of Life

As a kid, I picked my sports idols based on how far and how dramatically they hit home runs (Reggie Jackson), how cool-sounding their names were (Roman Gabriel, Bob McAdoo), how sweet their uniforms looked (Roger Staubach), and how many championships they won (Bill Russell).

So, given the shallowness of my logic in choosing sports heroes as a kid, I can certainly understand why young people today idolize the likes of Jason Giambi, Barry Bonds, Ray Lewis and Kobe Bryant. However, from my current perspective (as a maturing adult or aging geezer, take your choice), I can’t stand anything about these me-first type of athletes.

Today, my sports heroes are athletes and coaches who exhibit (or exhibited) great character on and off the field (John Wooden, Jackie Robinson, Cal Ripken, Dean Smith, Billie Jean King, Byron Nelson, Tony Dungy, David Robinson, Phil Mickelson, Julie Foudy, Grant Hill, Annika Sorenstam).

But I now have a new sports idol, one that transcends even that illustrious group. In fact, calling him a sports idol is demeaning. This guy is a champion human being. As good as it gets. His name is Joe Ehrmann and he’s a former All-Pro lineman with the Baltimore Colts -- but that’s the least of his accomplishments in life.

Ehrmann once was the stereotypical pro jock. He partied hard and defined himself by his athletic accomplishments, sexual conquests and the amount of money in his bank account. His turning point was the premature death of his younger brother. Ehrmann began a quest for the true meaning of life. He gradually transitioned from self-centered hedonist to other-centered humanitarian. Eventually, he would start a foundation called Building Men for Others and become the defensive coordinator for Gilman School in Baltimore.

I discovered his remarkable story by picking up a book called Season of Life by Jeffrey Marx. I’m very thankful I did. It’s simply one of the most powerful books I’ve ever read. I was only up to p.33 when I realized this wasn’t going to be your typical book about a macho football coach. Ehrmann was about to speak to a football clinic filled with about two hundred high school coaches when one coach asked him, You gonna be talking about offense, or defense? Ehrmann responded, Philosophy. I’ll be talking about how to help boys become men within the context of sports. The other coach, expecting a lecture on football X’s and O’s, looked at him inquisitively before slowly walking away.

Ehrmann got up to give his presentation and quickly got to his main point: the most critical issue facing our society is the distorted concept of what it means to be a man. If we don’t fix our understanding, and get some proper definition of masculinity and manhood, I don’t think we can address other issues, said Ehrmann.

He then began to rip what he calls the false masculinity pervading our culture; the three components of which he described as: athletic ability, sexual conquest and economic success. After discounting that model, he described his paradigm for being a man.

First and foremost, true masculinity is about developing and maintaining relationships, according to Ehrmann. Greatness is measured by the impact you make on other people’s lives. His contention is that the problem with males is that we compare and compete but we don’t really connect.

Here’s Coach Joe Ehrmann in a nutshell:

"[Masculinity] ought to be taught in terms of the capacity to love and to be loved. It’s gonna come down to this: What kind of father were you? What kind of husband were you? What kind of coach or teammate were you? What kind of son were you? What kind of brother were you? What kind of friend were you? Success comes in terms of relationships. And I think the second criterion – the only other criterion for masculinity – is that all of us ought to have some kind of cause, some kind of purpose in our lives that’s bigger than our own individual hopes, dreams, wants, and desires. Life’s about relationships and having a cause bigger than yourself. Simple as that."

Wow! I would’ve loved to have been sitting in that football clinic, looking at the faces of all those macho coaches, when Ehrmann was laying that on ’em!

How does that philosophy translate into a coaching style? Listen to Coach Ehrmann send his players on the field before a game:

What is our job as coaches? he asked.

To love us, the boys yelled back in unison.

"What is your job?" Ehrmann fired back.

To love each other, replied the team.

What would Vince Lombardi think? Didn’t Lombardi always believe you had to treat players like dogs to reach the pinnacle of success?

Speaking of success, this team can’t possibly win football games, right? Well, the Gilman School football program wins and wins big. They’re constantly in the top 10 in the Maryland state high school rankings, including two undefeated seasons in 1998 and 1999. At the time of the book’s printing, they’d won four of the last five league titles.

But at Gilman they’re teaching the Game of Life, not just football. Nobody gets cut. Everybody plays – and plays in the first half when the game’s still in doubt. Ehrmann and the rest of the Gilman staff focus more on building character and teaching sportsmanship than the proverbial X’s and O’s. They want to foster relationships, build a football family and maximize each player’s talent.

God gives each person X amount of talents, explained Ehrmann. The question isn’t really how many talents you’ve been given. That’s the sovereignty of God. The real question is what you do with the ones you have. Some of us get paralyzed when we feel we don’t have ‘as much as’ or [aren’t] ‘as good as’ someone else. But the person we really want to honor is the one who maximizes whatever it is he has.

Toward the end of one practice, Ehrman told the boys, You’re practicing like you really love each other. You’re pushing each other, helping each other get better… finally practicing like you really love each other. It makes all the difference in the world. And it makes me really proud of you.

Imagine. A coaching philosophy based on love. Powerful stuff. The world of sports – and the world at large – certainly needs more of this.

Pick up the book.

What’s Right About Sports

Sports have been a passion of mine since I was seven years old. It’s a true love affair. But as a sports columnist, I – like most other sports columnists – tend to focus on the negatives of SportsWorld.

We identify what’s wrong – in our not very humble opinions – and then build a case about how to fix the problem, or at least make the situation better.

Make no mistake, there are plenty of problems in sports, from overbearing, win-at-all-costs adults in youth sports, to high-profile pro athletes who spend their spare time dog-fighting or attempting to set the world record for philandering, to steroid scandals. And on and on the list can go.

When you think about it, it’s understandable why columnists focus on the negative. First, it draws more attention than the positive (and Lord knows, columnists like attention). People like reading about controversies, scandals and human frailties. Second, the vast majority of columnists want to make things better. Despite their sometimes cranky personas, they really do care and would like to mitigate the negatives so the sports experience can be a better one for all involved.

Well, sometimes there is a need to appreciate what’s right in sports -- if for no other reason then to prevent becoming too cynical. There’s also a school of thought that says if we focus on what’s right -- i.e., spend our energy trying to enhance the positives -- the negatives will gradually begin to dissolve away.

I’m not sure about that theory, but I do believe we should spend more time celebrating the good in sports. So, without further ado, here are a few things that I feel exemplify what’s right about sports…

• Sports bring people closer together. A grandfather and his grandson taking in a game at a baseball stadium. A father playing tennis with his daughter on a Saturday morning. A mother playing catch with her son in the backyard after school. Four buddies playing golf in a work league on a Wednesday evening. A country becoming one behind the American hockey team’s miracle on ice victory over the Soviet Union at the 1980 Olympics. Sports have an amazing ability to connect people, to forge strong relationships. That’s cool.

• Sports are for girls too. Pre-Title IX, sports were primarily for males only. Today, girls are competing in sports at rates nearly the same as boys. As such, they are able to reap the fitness, social, character, and teamwork benefits just like their male counterparts. That’s good for girls and our society.

• Sports are a great distraction. If you had a bad day at the office, or are having problems at home, sports are there to help you lose yourself for awhile. If your father’s in poor health, the stock market’s sinking, or your kid’s struggling in school, SportsWorld provides a little respite from the challenges of the real world.

• Some athletes use their sports visibility to do more than make money. Team sports, when taught the right way, provide great lessons in the power of we over me. There are a lot of athletes that are using their sports platform to make the world a better place. Athletes, at all levels, can use the power of sports to make a difference… and they do so more than we realize.

There is a special breed of athlete that works to make our playing fields and our everyday lives more fair and just. Consider Jackie Robinson and Jesse Owens who used class, character and talent to not only make Sportsworld better but Realworld better as well. Similarly, every female athlete today owes