My French Teacher Had an Igbo Accent: An Inspiring Collection of Memories, Memoirs and Mischiefs

By Dipo Adesida

Sometime ago, I read a note from my friends Facebook page, and it got me thinking.

She had just joined the United States Marines and was recounting her ordeal during one of the drills. What was most hilarious about her story was how she screamed in her native Yoruba language when a particular drilling sequence became too unbearable. A squeal of unbelief couched in the popular Yoruba exclamation Yepa! must have escaped from her gut.

On closer scrutiny, I later realized that she had joined the army not because she was prepared but because it was a childhood fantasy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Africa
• Release date: Oct 17, 2016
• ISBN: 9781482862461

Dipo Adesida

Dipo is a creative writer, TV/film/radio producer, and director of Content, Synergy & Innovation at Verdant Zeal Group, an emerging African marketing and communications multinational. With a bachelor’s degree in dramatic arts from the prestigious Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Osun State, Nigeria, Dipo has continued to explore several forms of expression within the creative arts. From a life on stage to working behind the lens, he has translated his creative talents to produce various made-for-screen content for over a decade. With his pen, he paints humorous and thought-provoking imageries that cause his readers to reflect, probe, and question. With his words, he creates universes and scenarios that are relatable, realistic, and resonate the passions and motivations of the everyday individual. Dipo is an adventure seeker, speed racer, avid reader. He is an alumnus of the New York Film Academy and a Mandela Washington fellow. He is married to Cynthia, his childhood sweetheart, and they’re blessed with a delectable daughter, Moyosoreoluwa.

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 by DIPO ADESIDA.

ISBN:   Softcover   978-1-4828-6245-4

             eBook         978-1-4828-6246-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

www.partridgepublishing.com/africa

CONTENTS

Life Lesson One

Dream, for it may come true

Life Lesson Two

If I Slap You

Life Lesson Three

My French teacher had an Igbo accent

Life Lesson Four

My Maga didn’t want to pay

Life Lesson Five

The pen was mightier than the rod

Life Lesson Six

Over my dead body

Life Lesson Seven

Owambe on a weekday

Life Lesson Eight

Prodigal Ambitions

Life Lesson Nine

The trials of brother Dipo

Life Lesson Ten

You may kiss the Bride…muah

Life Lesson Eleven

Olodo maths

Life Lesson Twelve

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

Life Lesson Thirteen

Why 12 is my lucky number

DEDICATION

To all writers, who put trying to make the world a better place ahead of trying to make a living.

APPRECIATION

This story officially started one random Sunday morning in September 2010. I was newly married and living in the bustling city of Lagos, Nigeria. At that time, Facebook was still relatively new.

My pastor, Poju Oyemade of Covenant Christian Centre, had just preached a powerful sermon earlier that morning, and in closing, reminded us to use the emerging social media platforms to promote the up coming program of the church.

The Platform Nigeria© was the program and Facebook was my preferred promotional tool. Not one given to convention, I decided that rather than just liking and sharing the church’s posts, memes and pictures, I would write my original content with subliminal messaging, hoping that my audience would catch the drift both ways.

Apparently, they did.

Within hours of posting the first story, a good number of people had liked it and shared it. Others were even asking when the next story was going to be posted. I knew I had boarded a moving train. I couldn’t stop.

From original opinion pieces, I quickly switched to memoirs with seemingly hilarious plots from my past and the rest, as they say, is history.

Three years later, Fehinty African Theatre Ensemble (FATE), a Chicago based non-profit theatre company run by my sister-in-law, Teju Adesida, decided to put my stories, which she called ‘Dipo’s Notes’ on stage. She was the one who opened my eyes to see that my random ramblings were, in fact, a gold mine.

So, as I take this bold step of publishing my first book, I’d like to take time out to appreciate everyone who’s been part of this process.

Firstly, all glory goes to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, lover of my soul. It’s not a cliché. It’s simply because of your mercies I am still standing today. I’m grateful for the many trials you’ve seen me through and for making my stories worth of sharing.

To my editors and reviewers, Adebola Ayoade, Michael Banjo, Teju Adesida and Suzanne Morgan Williams, who spent many hours sharing perspectives and re-writing the manuscript, you are the life of this book and the reason why it turned out this good. And to Joy Obinyan who wrote my profile, thanks. I really appreciate all your investment and hope that some day, in this life, I can return the favour.

To my father, Deacon William Ibidapo Adesida, for setting a great example with your huge library and personal collection of published works; you were the one who sparked my love for reading and deep thought.

To my mother, Deaconess Modupe Apinke Adesida, your tough love and insistence on using writing as a means of discipline actually paid off. Look at me now.

To Mark Zuckerberg, thanks for the gift of Facebook without which this book may never have been published.

To Myne Whitman and Tola Odejayi of www.naijastories.com, your bold idea of creating a web portal for Nigerian writers to meet each other has been the best thing since sliced bread. God bless you.

To my spiritual mentors, Pastor Poju Oyemade, Pastor Solomon Yero, Mrs Rebecca Yero and Prof. Gbenga Okunlola, your teachings and lifestyle moulded me into the person that I am today. Thanks.

To late Ola Rotimi, my amiable professor of theatre history and playwriting supervisor,