Unlocking the Cellar Dreams of a Poet: A Book of Poems

By Joe Gonzalez

I hope the poems in this book bring smile, a thought, or an understanding about life in more ways than one. My third book will be a novel and is already in the making and, hopefully, will be out sometime in 2018. The title is complete but will not be revealed until a later time. If you like reading trilogies, I truly hope you enjoy reading this book of poems.

My wife, Orelia (Cookie), is, and will always be, my inspiration. And I know that she will be forever grateful for many of the poems included in this book. I also hope you will enjoy reading this book of poems.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 15, 2017
• ISBN: 9781543430110

Joe Gonzalez

I am a retired police officer by profession. I was born in Harlingen, Texas. Our family migrated to West Texas in the early 1960's. As a pre-teen, I shared time with my two older brothers selling popcorn up and down the aisles inside a movie theater back in Harlingen. When we grew up, we went to work in the cotton fields hoeing weeds during the summers and picking cotton in the fall. We were back in the fields during the onion and cabbage harvest season in the early frosty mornings of fall in order to help our parents put food on the table. Back when one could earn twenty five or thirty cents an hour, working ten hour days in the hot summer sun, was no fun. But it meant growing up, feeling grateful for what God gave us and sleeping with a full stomach. At times, it was fun because it also meant making new friends who were doing the same thing for their parents. It was an honest way to survive poverty. Thanks to our parents, who always wanted us to finish high school, we all graduated high school at New Deal ISD, which is in Lubbock County, Texas. I attended Texas Tech University but eventually, dropped out in order to marry my high school sweetheart. After 49 years, I still love her with all my heart. She is still the apple of my eye. She is my best friend and my life is complete having her at my side. My jobs went from working the fields, working at a slaughterhouse, a meat market, a warehouse, and driving the big rigs. From there, I went to work for the Lubbock Police Department as a street cop until retirement. During my years of working, many friends have touched my life. The fact that friendships make a huge part of our lives, is what inspired me to write this book about dreams and friends and what they do to pass the time. We’ve all had those types of friends. I am also a writer and a regular commentary contributor to the Lubbock Avalanche Journal Newspaper which publishes my op-eds in the Sunday commentary pages every three or four weeks. My wife, Orelia (Cookie) is, and will always be, my inspiration. And having her as my biggest critic, I am thankful to her for allowing me to continue to write my stories and my books. Thank you for all of your unconditional love and support! I love you forever and always!

Book preview

Copyright © 2017 by Joe Gonzalez.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2017909449

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5434-3013-4

                Softcover        978-1-5434-3012-7

                eBook             978-1-5434-3011-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 06/14/2017

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

762925

Contents

Introduction

About the Author

1.   A Flower for Heaven’s Garden

2.   A Legacy Left Behind

3.   A Merciful God

4.   A Reason for the Season

5.   Aiming for You

6.   Birth of a Church

7.   Blow! Trumpets of Glory

8.   Broken Rose

9.   Carnival Ride

10.   Chasing Casting Shadows

11.   Christmas Angels

12.   Cinnamon Eyes

13.   Colors of the World

14.   Come On, America! Come On!

15.   Crown of Thorns

16.   Diamonds of the Night

17.   Divine Mercy

18.   Don’t Get Me Started

19.   Father Built It

20.   Folded Note

21.   Free to Be Free

22.   From Out of Nowhere

23.   Golden Rules, Broken Rules

24.   Have You Been There?

25.   He is Coming

26.   Her Eyes Told It All

27.   His Cross

28.   Honored Sacrifice

29.   How Many, Dear Lord?

30.   I Am Who I Am

31.   I Testify and I Believe

32.   I Thirst

33.   If I Don’t Come Back

34.   If Only

35.   If You’re Coming Back

36.   Jerusalem, O Jerusalem

37.   Let’s Do It Right

38.   Like Leaves in the Wind

39.   Lord, Was I There?

40.   Magi

41.   Merry Christmas, Jesus

42.   Midnight Mule

43.   Miss That Silver Tree

44.   No Vacancy

45.   Nobody’s Hero

46.   Nothing Wrong with Yesterday

47.   Open the Clouds of Heaven

48.   Open Your Heart

49.   Praying, Fasting, and Repenting

50.   Shifting Sand

51.   Show Me the Heavens

52.   Star of the Sea

53.   Stolen Time

54.   Take Me Home (with the Winds)

55.   Take Me to That River

56.   Take My Soul, Lord

57.   Texas

58.   Thank You, Lord

59.   Thank You

60.   The Exodus of Life

61.   Surviving Sounds of Death

62.   Southern Tracking Backroads

63.   Lessons About Life

64.   Fulfill Your Dreams

65.   Broken Shoelaces

66.   An Eventful Dream

67.   The Bench

68.   The Bus

69.   The Cross

70.   The Great Apostles

71.   The Greatest Surprise

72.   The Last Mass

73.   The Last Word

74.   The Lord’s Last Supper

75.   The Mirror in My Eyes

76.   The Perfect Number

77.   The Price of Free Will

78.   The River Winds

79.   A Fight, A War, A Death

80.   Guardian Angels

81.   Merry Christmas from Heaven

82.   Weathered Rainbows and Times

83.   Trembling Hands

84.   The Horse and Me

85.   Since I Was a Child

86.   Just to Fall in Love with You

87.   The Sound of Her Voice

88.   Trying to Reach Your Heart

89.   Visions of a Revelation

90.   Walk Me into Eternity

91.   Walking Alone

92.   What Have We Done?

93.   What Is Truth?

94.   What Would Jesus Do?

95.   When I Meet My Maker

96.   Words from the Cross

97.   You Gave Me Memories

98.   You Were the Music

99.   Powers

100.   God’s Bird

101.   Beyond the Sky

102.   A Miracle in Christmas

103.   I Cried Your Prayers

104.   It Doesn’t Matter Anymore

105.   Thoughts of an Endless Sleep

106.   Sundown Silhouettes

107.   Solitary Soul

108.   Guided by Temptation

109.   Bottled Dreams and Hardened Stones

110.   Blue Morning Mourning

111.   Black Tie, White Lace, and Silk

112.   (Not) Looking Back

113.   Thunders of the Beast

114.   Texas Tours

115.   Shadows of an Endless Sea

116.   Shades and Marmalades

117.   Searching for My Domain

118.   Sand Castles (in a Lost Oasis)

119.   Red Bandanas and a Wooden Horse

120.   Imagine an Ageless Time

121.   Rivers of Memories

122.   Garden of Stone

123.   Daddy’s Dreams

124.   Climbing Walls

125.   Beautiful, Oh, Beautiful Jesus

126.   A Whisper in the Wind

127.   For This Life

128.   Sweet Perfume in the Wind

129.   Renaissance Crossing

130.   Raining Harmony

131.   Purpose Without Reason

132.   Memories of an Adolescent Time

133.   If

134.   I Grew Up Believing

135.   When Tomorrow Comes

136.   Weeping Heart

137.   Time Eludes

138.   Time and Miles

139.   The Price of Pride

140.   The Cowboy

141.   Valley of Silence

142.   Hindsight Is 20/20

143.   Harlingen

144.   I’m Dead, Take My Soul

145.   No Girl

146.   Alone and Free

147.   Freedom

148.   Cindy, It’s a Beautiful Dream

149.   Dark Sights

150.   Kiss Mama

151.   The Stallion That Crossed the Sea

152.   Shadows and Echoes

153.   The Galaxy Broadway

154.   Stuck on a Rainbow

155.   God Bless the Child

156.   Let the Children Sing a Song

157.   My Life, My Love

158.   Reaching for the Living World

159.   God’s Going to Punish Us All

160.   God, Let My Heart Heal

161.   Pages from Mom’s Life

162.   Cowboy Up!

163.   A Repentant Sinner

164.   Hollow Mind

165.   I Wonder Worried

166.   In the Midst of a Foggy Morning

167.   Martyrs of Yesterday’s Child

168.   Sons for a Better Land

169.   The Smile of Anger

170.   This Tombstone Place

171.   Time’s Gonna Change Us All

172.   Cartoon Morning

173.   Craving Salvation

174.   A Falling Star

175.   A Past Never to Forget

176.   An Old-Fashioned Christian Revival

177.   Dreams of an Ageless Child

178.   Eyes of Morning Blue

179.   Hiding from Myself

180.   Icicles and Me

181.   In Search of Freedom’s Path

182.   In the Horizon

183.   Silent Stones

184.   Southern Fields of Sand

185.   The Family Bible

186.   As a Stranger, as a Friend

187.   Crucified and Still Alive

188.   Cruel World

189.   Far Away, My Lover Lies

190.   The Blanket of Your Heart

191.   The Empty River

192.   The Silhouette

193.   A Lonely Man Sleeping Alone

194.   Asking the Word

195.   I Tailgate the Wind

196.   In Vain, but I See Wrong

197.   Make a Wish, Son

198.   My Nighttime’s All for You

199.   The Cries of Jesus Christ

200.   The Magic Words

201.   The Silent Cries Are Shouts

202.   ’Twas the End

203.   Ain’t It Hard to Say

204.   Cry Like a Child

205.   Feel a Windy Breeze

206.   I Am a King

207.   I Am of You

208.   I Cry for…

209.   Listen to Your Mind

210.   Nowhere Lost

211.   A Morning Sunshine

212.   I Cut the Rose

213.   The Bridge

214.   Overcome Shadows

215.   In Time, Man Destroys Man

216.   Hollow Paths

217.   Fools and Heroes

218.   Early Morning Prayer

219.   Dreams Can Be Deceiving

220.   Daily

221.   There’s Always Hope

222.   The Alley of a Lost Highway

223.   Teardrops of Life

224.   Summer Moon

225.   Streams of Life

226.   Silent Crying Noises

227.   Scattered Photographs

228.   Papa Did All He Could

229.   Ticks Before Midnight

230.   In the Rain Alone Again

231.   My Life Without You

232.   Skull Place

233.   The Child in Me

234.   Promises to Keep Forever

235.   Loose Ends and Dead Ends

236.   In Winds of Fear

237.   In My Arms

238.   Evergreens and Clouds of Gray

239.   Young and Unafraid

240.   Strength of the Soul

241.   The Misery of Being Alone

242.   Teardrops That Never Fell

243.   Lost in Dreams of You

244.   Sweeten Your Flower

245.   Sorry, I Walk Alone

246.   My Mind Walked Out on Me

247.   Four Walls and One Closed Door

248.   When You Discovered Me

249.   Trying to Believe

250.   The Timing Was Right

251.   The Sounds of the Desert Roar

252.   The Opposite Way

253.   Tell Me Your Dreams

254.   Little Pigtails

255.   Tell Me the Truth

256.   Winds of Fear

257.   Time and Memories

258.   Thoughts of an Empty Mind

259.   The Truth Never Will Seduce Me

260.   Exploring Inner Thoughts

261.   A Strong Handshake

262.   40 Days

263.   Debating a Single-Sided Conversation

264.   Una Triste Mañana

265.   Todo Mi Ser

266.   Un Arco Iris Sin Fin

267.   Tranquilo Es El Momento

268.   Un Techo De Estrellas

269.   Mi Cuate, Mi Amigo, Mi Padre

270.   Oracion A Mi Madre

271.   Quien Iba Saber

272.   Rescatando Memorias

273.   Soñador

274.   Su Bendicion

275.   Su Corazon Palpito

276.   Creyendo

277.   Dios Lo Corono

278.   El Jardin De Mi Madre

279.   El Silencio

280.   La Historia

281.   La Mera Verdad

282.   Lo Daria Todo

283.   La Banquilla De La Iglesia

284.   Casa De Pobres

285.   Si Me Vuelvo A Enamorar

286.   Si Lagrimas Tocan Tus Labios

287.   Escuche Una Cancion

288.   Disimula

289.   Dime Si Eres Feliz

290.   Besos Grabados

291.   Ven Aqui

292.   Una Moneda Y Un Anillo

Notes

Acknowledgments

First of all, I wish to thank our Lord Jesus Christ for giving me everything I need in life. He gave me the most humble parents I could ever wish for. They gave me life in order for me to have it all, and I do. I never wished for riches, just enough to live on. And I do! Thank you for giving me an understandiong heart. And, thank you for giving me the talent to put thoughts into words.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for always giving me the freedom to be obedient, trusting, and loving as a son and as a brother. Thank you for all your advices and all your teachings that I know came from the heart. Thank you for showing me how to overcome life’s obstacles, and thank you for giving me your religion, which I will let it guide me all the days of my life.

Once again, I thank you, Father Peter D’Souza from the Covenant Medical Center Chapel in Lubbock, Texas, who has always been so nice in allowing me to read many of my poems and writings during some of your Saturday services at mass. You have always given me words of encouragement to write something for a special mass so that it could be shared with our little congregation. Thank you very much. I hope I have never let you down.

Most of all, I thank my beautiful wife, Orelia. You are the love of my life. You have always stood by me during all of our ups and downs. As we celebrate our forty-fifth wedding anniversary this May, I again give you my heart, my soul, and my total being. Thank you for always saying that you love my writings. Thank you for always standing by my side and never making me feel any less than you. Till death do us part. As God is my witness, till then, I will always love you.

With all my heart,

I warmly dedicate this book to my wife,

Orelia (Cookie) Gonzalez.

Introduction

I was born the fourth son of a ten-sibling family. Being the fourth born had its advantages and its disadvantages, needless to say. I, on the other hand, took advantage of everything positive that came my way. I also learned from my two older brothers. School was tough for all of us. I come from a family that struggled through the ’50s and well into the early ’60s. We were migrants. As kids, we began working in the fields just so we could put food on the table. I don’t think there were any child labor laws back in the late ’50s; and if there were, maybe they weren’t enforced. Then again, we probably didn’t mind because we had fun working in the fields. at first.

Our family went from deep down in South Texas up to West Texas. Dad lost his job as a butcher in a meat packing house in the late 1950s, so he took the family out of school and we headed up to the Texas Panhandle. This went on for about three years. We were labeled migrant workers.

Going in and out of school became a hassle. Trying to keep up with school, studies, grades, and our friends finally took its toll on all of us. Trying to maintain good grades wasn’t easy either. For one thing, we didn’t want to fall behind nor did we want to get sent back to a lower grade. I have no idea how I did it, but I managed to maintain a good A and B grade average. For one thing, I loved school. Maybe I was the only one. None of us failed, which was a good thing. So almost five decades have come and gone since my first line of poetry became a reality.

The innocence of my youth was unmistakable and unpredictable in my early years. The words came out in simple syllables and words. For one thing, coming from a Hispanic family where mainly Spanish was spoken, it was not easy to learn the English language at first. For a long time, I didn’t even know there was a second language.

I actually started my school education while staying in Mexico for a short spell. In fact, I didn’t ever attend kindergarten school. I didn’t even know there was such a thing. I went straight to first grade. I didn’t know a single word of English when I was finally enrolled in school here in Texas, so I didn’t learn English until I entered the first grade.

Learning English took take a while. Learning a brand-new language for the first time was hard in itself. Everything I knew up until then would eventually have to be translated into this new way of speaking. Oh, we still had to speak Spanish at home in order to communicate with Mom and Dad; but conversing with other kids in school, teachers, and many of our neighborhood friends was sometimes funny. I didn’t know how to master the art of pronunciation or enunciation at first. I was a long way from knowing how to do that. On the other hand, communication was never really a problem for me. Somehow, someway, I would get my point across. So, in a way, school was a lot of fun for me. I wanted to learn, and I was at the right place to learn. We were now enrolled in the public school system, and I loved it.

We were all enrolled in the public school system from beginning to end. Dad could not afford private school, so it was in New Deal Junior High School that I began to understand a little bit about poetry, poems, and poets. I think it was in sixth grade that the class was asked to write a short poem. I wrote mine, and when all the poems were turned in and finally graded, the teacher asked me to read mine out loud in front of the class. Before that, I had never stood in front of the class to say or read anything. I was about as nervous as a person facing a man with a gun. But even though I felt a thousand eyes staring back at me, I got through it without a scratch. In the end, I was proud of my poem and proud that I had had the guts to stand in front of the class, recite to them my silly little poem and actually got an applause. The worse was over. A new me was born.

I soon realized that I loved poetry. A new chapter in my life had just begun. Secretly, I began writing poems and keeping them hidden from everybody, especially to my siblings. Back then, nobody wrote poems, except me. Writing and reciting poems to my brothers would have been a disaster. We were guys for goodness sakes!

As for all those early poems and writings, I guess you could say that I stuck ’em in the cellar. When I saw for the first time my future girlfriend and wife to be, I began writing her letters and short poems. It would be years long after we were married that she began to know about the many poems I had written. Many were written to her, for her, and about her. Some were, and still are, a little bit silly; but she has always inspired me to write my thoughts, my feelings, and my opinions.

I have always loved going to church. That is why I wrote What Is Truth? and What Would Jesus Do? I am and will always be a Catholic, mainly because our parents brought us up to be Catholic. For this, I am very proud and so very thankful to both my parents. I am by no means any holier than anybody else or a saint, but I do believe in the teachings of the Catholic church, and I strive to live like Jesus Christ would want me to live. And just like everybody else, I also fail sometimes. I’m not perfect. I live in faith and hope. I live for a better tomorrow. So I wrote There’s Always Hope.

Yes, a few of my poems reflect on some of the stories found in the Holy Bible, many are based on things that touched my life throughout the years, and some are based on some of the things I did wrong or could’ve done better. I wrote The Price of Free Will. Some poems may border on the silly side of me, the sensible part of me, and of course the serious side of me. I wrote Colors of the World and Cowboy Up for fun. I wrote about Mom and Dad because they gave me a way of life I will always treasure till the day I die, and I wrote a few poems in Spanish, which I selected to be included in this book of poems in order to very proudly honor my background, my language,