Reborn: Dead Inside: A Poetic Memoir

By Deanna Fae Prall

In Deannas first book of poetry, she cronichles an approximate 6-month period in her life at the age of twenty-one where she battled addiction, overcame depression, and encountered many other trials and tribulations.
The book was left raw to some degree to reflect the honest pain and anguish she was experiencing when writing through all of this.
It is written in a revealing and honest light with hope for readers on similar paths near the end.




Reader Review:



"I read your book today and found it to be very straight to the point
revealing the exact reality of your life. It touched my heart in many
ways. I found myself being able to relate to so many of your emotions. I
passed the book on to my mother and she has already said that she can
relate to it. I want to congratulate you on your success....on being able
to find the strength to overcome many obstacles in life. All I can say is
well done, my friend, well done."



~T.S. Wilkins~


www.risensunpoetry.com

Another book review available at: www.poetstree.org

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 3, 2007
• ISBN: 9781477178201

Deanna Fae Prall

CRUMBLE dead inside Nov.15/2006 {In memory of the person I 'used'to be] When your whole world crumbles; before your already sad eyes- eventually you cannot count the amount of times you tried to scream so loud; "I need help!"- ....and received no replies. You become everything you never were and cannot find what you have lost; you search far, and near- and will not stop at any cost- but there is nothing left of you... you might as well admit it's true... ....you are gone... and those are not your eyes; the ones starring back at you- with hatred and no hope at all, begging you to answer the question; "Where exactly did I fall?" Eventually you cannot grasp- or even care what happens to you anymore, because all is lost; and the only thing left to do- ....is crumble... {'because you are dead inside}

Book preview

Copyright © 2007 by Deanna Fae Prall.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

38119

Contents

Introduction

The First/Last Word

Paxil Eyes

Little Pink Pill

Dear Jenn

I’m Not Sorry

FU

It Hurts To Be Nice {In Memory Of JH}

My Ink-Filled Hero

For John

Sick, Demented, Beauty

What I Know

From Me To You

Denial

I Am This Girl

Binger

Deadly Escape

A Little Less Strong

Promise Me… {from one to another}

Alive and Induced

California

Delinquent

Emotional Contammination

Brad

Rock

Father

Flashback

Grammy

Missing ‘Me’

Dead Like Me

If Only You Knew…

Lost Words

A Winter’s Dreary

Black Christmas

No Direction

Below

Dead Dreams

Broken

Sedated

Breakdown

Rock Bottom

I Know That Pain!

Mindless Mess

Open Eyes

Stronger Half Wanted

Reborn?

My Fellow Dreamer: Rich Carlton

Coward

One Day At A Time

Can You Love…

Hope, Unmasked

Night Fears

Stranger… Please Come In

For Kim

Letter To Whoever

Dead Already

Together, We Shall Walk

Will You?

Courage Released

A Beautiful Deppression

Final Goodbye {Last night in Chester}

Here

Footsteps To Nowhere

A Piece Of Hope

Untitled-{Advice for you AND me}

One Good Habit

Thank-You

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my friends,

{particularily my fellow poets}, my brother, Brad

{this will explain the letters I could not write},

and anyone who’s ever hit rock-bottom before.

Know you’re not alone, and thank-you all for the support.

I hope my words can inspire you all

to see that there is good in all of you,

and that there is no dream you can’t achieve.

Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up

—Jesse Jackson

Introduction

In these tangled prose;

I will tell a story;

of how I went from having it all-

to standing back, just watching myself fall,

without taking a step back, long enough to breath;

oh the dreams I could’ve achieved

if I did not keep it all bottled up inside;

if I did not constantly hide

in the rambunctious shadows of my mind,

pushing everyone away—too afraid to say

that I’d finally found my only fear:

to admit the fact,

that I wanted to disappear.

Now things become more clear

as I look back and see

that I was this woman, once alive;

before becomming too afraid NOT to hide

in drugs, dreams-

anything to block my inner screams

when all I ever needed…

was someone to listen to me

Deanna Prall

This collection of poems and prose were written through a’storm’, so to speak, {with the exception of a few songs I’ve included to fit the current situation(s)I was facing.}Perhaps by the time this book is released, the storm will have subsided.

My poems are pretty self-explanatory;they mold the places I’ve been, and the things I’ve done. They are the inner-anxieties I fight everyday and a result of the the things I did not say… {I’m not much for candy-coating either}.

It took a great deal of courage for me to go through with the publication of this book, because it is like my journal,

{but, I do tend to live by the motto Feel the fear, and do it anyway}

I did not intend to hurt or offend anyone in my honesty; however, I will not apologise, as for these poems were written as I