I Mattered a Teacher’S Story

By Dr. Frankie J. Monroe-Moore

In The New Meaning of Educational Change Fullen wrote, Low morale, depressed, feeling unfairly
blamed for the ills of society? You must be a teacher. This quote spoke volumes to me as I watched
politicians jockeying for position by spewing their recycled political rhetoric, and then launch an all
out attack against public school teachers.
In years past these attacks had been levied against those receiving social security, Medicare and
Medicaid which mainly affected the poor, disabled and elderly. Dont get me wrong these issues are still
on the table, but I guess politicians felt they had beaten them with a dead horse and needed another
soft target to spark the publics interest so public school teachers was it. They struck with a vengeance
firing public school teachers by the thousands throughout the country. In an attempt to reduce the
collective bargaining power of teacher unions, such as American Federation of Teacher (AFT) in Texas
they claimed the only way they knew to help balance the state and district school budget shortfalls was
to rescind some of the benefits they had agreed too.
It hurts when the profession Ive dedicated over half of my adult life (25 yrs.) to; is under attack by
politicians and others that have no true concept of whats involved in being a public school teacher.
We have absolutely nothing to do with the decision making process. First were told to do one thing
and then were told to do something entirely different. Its almost schizophrenic.
To all of my colleagues that remain on the frontlines of public education and those that are planning
to take up the banner This books for you. You might not have control over the decisions being made
outside your classroom, but you can control those things going on inside. I provide ways to control
student behavior by the design of your classroom to the use of a simple yellow tablet.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 21, 2012
• ISBN: 9781469151137

Dr. Frankie J. Monroe-Moore

Dr. Frankie J. Monroe-Moore graduated from Texas A & M University, Corpus Christi with a Doctorate in Educational Leadership, MS in Educational Administration, and BS from Indiana University, North West in Business Management/Administration. She is married with four children and fifteen grandchildren.

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Copyright © 2012 by Dr. Frankie J. Monroe-Moore.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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CONTENTS

Dedication

Cover Story

My Unique Disclaimer

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.

—Hosea 4:6 (KJV)

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

—Proverbs 4:7 (KJV)

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Dedication

I heard a song entitled Yesterday sung by the gospel group Mary Mary. One verse in the song resonated in my spirit—I’ve decided I’ve cried my last tears yesterday—and I began in earnest to write this book.

So many special people have played a vital role in shaping my life as I’ve traveled this journey into and out of the field of education. As I close this chapter of my life, I want to take the time to personally thank them for all they have done to inspire, encourage, and motivate me to stay the course and not give up. I especially want to thank my husband, Eddie L. Moore Sr., for supporting me through every choice I’ve made over the last 30 + years even when he didn’t agree or understand it. It was because of you I was able to fulfill the vow I made to God and finally complete the three books (Dead Woman Talking but Gods Got This!), (Watch what you Do! Watch who you do it TO! They might tell the world on YOU!), and (I Mattered a Teacher’s Story). Without your encouragement and support I don’t think I would have done it.

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Cover Story

My daughter, Mrs. Tamika McClain, is a very talented young lady. Not only is she gifted in the ministry and sings with the voice of an angel, but she’s also artistically gifted. While in an arts and crafts store looking for some material to make a flower arrangement, she came across this unfinished figurine of an angel surrounded by children. Initially she was going to pass it up because it was damaged. One of the children’s arms was broken off. Then she thought about it. This represented me perfectly. For as many years as she could remember I had been surrounded by children that society considered broken, but I never did. So she bought it, took it home, painted it, and surprised me with it. I couldn’t stop crying. I decided to use this as the cover for this book.

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My Unique Disclaimer

I want to share something special with you before I begin my story. I thought about writing a book for years which would help new teachers but never acted on it. Several events occurred that set me on this path. In 2009 I suffered a catastrophic illness, which caused me to enter the hospital clinically dead. During my stay in the hospital I made a vow to God that once he healed me I would complete three books in one year in which I would honor him. Several personal issues arose which caused me not to be able to successfully reach that goal in one year, but I did manage to write them in two. For those of you who have read the first two books, you will notice several of the same passages cited in both books. This is necessary because the stories intertwine and are an intricate part of my life story. You will also notice I included some of those passages in this book as well.

In an effort to meet my deadline for the three books, I didn’t want anyone to proofread my material. First of all, I didn’t have the extra money necessary to pay someone to proofread it. Second, I didn’t want anyone to give me suggestions on what to write. This was something I lived through and didn’t want others to superimpose their thoughts or beliefs into my story. To get past the criticism of possible grammatical or typographical errors, because I am an educator, I decided to include a disclaimer in all three of my books. Please read before you move on.

Before I begin my story, please don’t think too harshly of me when you stumble across grammatical or typographical errors. I just don’t have time for anyone to proofread this. It’s as if God is telling me to hurry. This isn’t the first time something prophetic has occurred immediately following this feeling of urgency I am experiencing right now. So I beg of you to just get the message, not the mistakes.

Prologue

Getting Up Close and Personal with the Author

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Dr. Frankie J. Monroe-Moore

Blog: www.fjmonroe.wordpress.com

Moving Past the Loss

Years before the country’s latest economic crisis and history was made by electing the first black president of the United States, I was already fighting an uphill battle, trying to get justice in an unjust system. I worked hard to obtain the necessary degrees and certifications to qualify for advancement in the public school district I worked in. Year after year of applying and being denied even an interview, I questioned why, especially after seeing people with only a couple of years of experience in education advancing. I was told by one of the school district attorneys, It doesn’t matter how many years you’ve dedicated or what you’ve done for the school district in the past. It really doesn’t matter how much education you have the district doesn’t have to move you into a higher paying position. You act as if you’re entitled.

They used catch phrases, such as we need fresh ideas to justify getting rid of me and other employees with seniority. I have no doubt some of them wished I’d stayed dead when I entered the hospital clinically dead on January 5, 2009, preceding injuries I sustained at work after falling. I know my family would have been better off financially if I hadn’t recovered. I had several insurance policies; one of which was a life insurance policy, valued at $500,000 through the school district. It would have really helped pay off all our debts. Once I was constructively terminated, I lost all of those benefits.

One day during my recovery, I received a frantic call from Mary, a good friend and colleague of mine. She had heard a rumor that disturbed her. It was said even if the doctor released me back to work, the school district wasn’t going to allow me to return. This was their chance to get rid of me. I believe it was retribution for me bringing charges against them for unfair hiring practices back in 2005.

Well, I guess that rumor was true because here I sit, several years later, despite repeated attempts to return to work, without a job. I didn’t have money to fight them in the courts, and I’ve exhausted my life savings. I also looked into retiring but was told I only qualified for reduced retirement benefits due to my age. The only other option I had, if I didn’t want to be homeless, was to forgo retirement, draw down what I had in my retirement, and pay off my home. I opted to forgo retirement.

I tried to keep the proverbial stiff upper lip and act as if it didn’t bother me, but I have to be honest; initially when I was turned out to pasture because the school district was done with me, I went through the seven stages of the grieving process which were as follows:

• Shock

• Denial

• Anger

• Guilt

• Pain and Sorrow

• Release and Resolution

• Return to the Willingness to Love

The teacher in me wants to explain this in deeper depth. Let’s address these stages in order, starting with shock.

• Shock—It is the body/mind’s way of saving you from the devastating pain of the loss, at least initially. It is a blessing at best but, at worst, can become a long-term numbness to feelings that resembles a sort of living death. It will pass naturally as long as the other stages of grief are honored. I went through this stage for quite a while. I thought I was indispensable, and no one could meet with the success that I had with the student population I taught. When I was replaced, it threw me for a loop.

• Denial—It is your mind’s attempt to protect you from the reality of the loss. You may lie to yourself and think about the situation as if it never happened. A certain period of denial is normal, but if prolonged, it can keep you stuck and prevent resolution. There are many forms of denial, as varied as people are different from each other. I personally went so far as to continue turning in lesson plans even after being told I wasn’t going to be allowed to return to work after my illness.

• Anger—When you lose someone or something you love, in my case my teaching career, it is natural to be angry for a period of time. You may just be angry at the unfairness and injustice of life which is what I experienced. To expose the injustice I had experienced I decided to tell what they’d done by writing my second book and letting the world be my judge and jury.

• Guilt—There seems to be a human tendency to blame yourself when something happens. It is only natural to question yourself which is a normal part of the grieving process but it is extremely important that you move through it and don’t get stuck in this stage. I felt deep guilt and remorse after being let go mainly because I felt I had let my students down. It truly impacted me after I was contacted by some of my students and colleagues begging me to return to work as soon as I could because they missed and needed me.

• Pain and Sorrow—These feelings often exist throughout all seven stages of grief and are the core feelings of grief. In the early stages, however, you are often distracted from your sorrow by denial, anger, guilt, and the resulting confusion. Fear can also be a tremendous barrier to the experience of sorrow, triggering all of the defense mechanisms. I didn’t know how I was going to survive financially because as you know teachers don’t earn a great deal of money and most of us live from paycheck to paycheck. So naturally I was fearful. To truly face and experience the pain and sorrow, it is necessary and healthy to go through it because it moves you forward through the stages of grief. Working with love is the key for moving through this phase because only love has the power to move us to the depths of our being where the greatest loss is registered.

• Release and Resolution—This stage of the grief process is accompanied by a sense of acceptance of the reality of the loss, a sense of letting go. In my case, I had to let go because I was caught in this vicious cycle of accusations and blame which brought on severe depression, causing me to be unable to move forward with my life. I had to release that hurt and anger and eventually forgive. The denial, guilt, and anger stages were over, and the pain and sorrow was not as intense as it was before. Many people ask, How long does it take? The answer is different according to the severity of the loss and the health of the individual who is grieving. I still had some medical issues stemming from my injuries, so it left me even more vulnerable.

• Grieving moves in cycles—There may be times you feel you have moved through all the stages for a substantial period of time and something triggers the loss you experienced the first time it happened. A birthday, anniversary, or another loss can bring back many of the same feelings that were there when the initial grief happened. I experienced this when I started writing my second book Watch what you DO! Watch who you do it TO! They might tell the world on YOU! As I wrote what had been done to me, the pain of those events hurt me just as much as they did the first time I experienced them, which surprised me because I thought I had gotten past it. Any loss or low emotional period can bring back the feelings of loss, particularly if you have not reached resolution. When the release finally occurs, your entire body will feel it. After I finished the second book, I did experience a release and was finally able to come to grips with the pain I felt. This is when I decided to write the third book I Mattered a Teachers Story, which allowed me to concentrate on my accomplishments and not my loss.

• Return to the Willingness to Love—This is the final stage of the grieving process. Healing has occurred, and the grieving person is able to laugh again and to get involved in life. Fear can slow you down or even stop you at this point because new love means the risk of new loss. By honoring and completing all seven stages of grief process, however, you will overcome your fear and move forward. This occurs through an appreciation for yourself and the life you are left to live. It’s scary starting over and stepping out into a new arena and moving in a new direction, especially at age sixty, but I’m doing it. I realize after reflecting over my life that I was put here to help others, and I can do that in many ways.

• Spiritual stage—I feel this stage should also be included in the grieving process to help you through all seven stages of the grief process and particularly as you move back out into the world after a period of grieving. The greater the love you felt for someone or the greater the emotional investment in a given situation, the greater the sense of loss you feel. After a great loss, you need to have some way of living, laughing, and loving with this reality. You have to turn within, to your own concept of the infinite to ultimately find peace and security in a life that is only temporary in its tangible form and that is spiritual. Part of the return to love also includes remembering the love you felt for the thing you lost. The love lives on and the anger, guilt, pain, and sorrow fade away. My faith in God has sustained me and allowed me to reach this point in my life.

The First Step Out of My Comfort Zone

I was invited to speak at an American Federation of Teachers Union (AFT) breakfast on August 20, 2011, by the local union president, Mr. Ray McMurrey, at the Omni Hotel in Corpus Christi, Texas. The following pages will give you not only the flavor of the speech I gave but also a glimpse into my personal life struggles and help you understand why I am so passionate about helping teachers teach those students that society deemed unteachable or unreachable.

Mr. McMurrey had suggested that I show up at the hotel about 8:00 a.m., an hour before the breakfast was to start in order to get set up. Copastor Teena Houston is the wife of Pastor Harvey Houston, and they are my spiritual leaders at First Church of God. Copastor Teena agreed to go with me for moral support and to assist in setting up my table for possible book sales. We had decided the night before that she would pick me up around 7:30 a.m. This would alleviate confusion about where to meet up.

I wasn’t sure just who would be in attendance as we headed for the hotel where the breakfast was scheduled to be held. I had been told that Linda Bridges, the state president of AFT, would be the main speaker but not much more. The room was filled with the wonderful aroma of bacon and eggs cooking and coffee brewing. The workers were busy setting the tables with napkins, silverware, water glasses, and coffee cups. Copastor Teena and I were trying to decide which table we would sit at to get a good view of the podium so she could video my speech. Once everything was set up, she suggested that we pray that my speech would be received warmly by the audience and that it would speak to them heart-to-heart.

Soon the room began to fill with different campus representatives of AFT. I knew several of them personally. An old friend, Nancy Vela, made her way over to the table we were seated at, gave me a big hug, and asked what I was doing there. She knew I wasn’t a campus AFT representative. I told her I was one of the guest speakers who had been invited by Mr. Ray McMurrey. I updated her on what had been going on with me and told her I had written a couple of books. She asked what the books were about, and I told her. She promised she would buy them. Then she informed me she was going to record my speech. I felt honored.

Everyone lined up to eat breakfast, but I didn’t eat anything because of my queasy stomach. Once everyone finished eating, the meeting began. Several people came up to the podium to speak and then it was my turn. I was a bit nervous but not so much so that I couldn’t speak, especially after the wonderful introduction Mr. McMurrey gave about me. I thanked him as I approached the podium and then broke into a song, which I’m sure was a bit different from what people were expecting to hear in this type of setting.

Oh, what a wonderful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day. I’ve got a wonderful feeling everything’s going my way.

To my surprise, the audience broke into song with me and then I began to share my story.

"I wake up every morning with a song in my heart and a prayer on my lips. I know for a fact that life is short and death is sure and every day above ground is a good day. I know this because on November 12, 2008, while rushing to assist a student suffering a life-threatening grand mal seizure, I tripped over the chair he was sitting in, went airborne, and landed on a concrete floor injuring myself. I got progressively worse and on January 5, 2009, I entered the hospital clinically dead. I spent twenty-five days in the hospital. Seventeen of those days were spent in two intensive care units.

"Now I don’t know how many of you believe in the power of prayer, but I do because when the word went out to all of my family, friends, colleagues, and students that they didn’t think I was going to make it, even though they were of different faiths, they came together and started to pray for me. As I lay hovering between life and death; I literally felt their prayers, but I also felt something else in the room, I felt the presence of God, and I began to pray. I said, ‘Father, if you heal me, I will tell of your grace, mercy, and miraculous healing to whoever is willing to listen.’

"It’s a wonderful thing to know that God loves you so much that he is willing to hold back death in order to allow you to walk into your destiny.

"Once I left the hospital and was strong enough to start writing, I wrote my first book, Dead Woman Talking but Gods Got This! In this book, I share a special connection with Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Carl Malden, Senator Ted Kennedy, Patrick Swayze, and Willie Maxine Perry, Tyler Perry’s mother. I give you a snapshot of my early years, and I include entries of my personal journal, a year before the fall and a year after the fall. I even take you to Paris and back. I call my journal the poor man’s psychiatrist because as you know, teachers don’t make a lot of money, so they can’t afford to go to a psychiatrist when things are bothering them. The journal provides me an opportunity to get things off my chest.

"Before I go any further, I want to take the time to thank Mr. Ray McMurrey, the local AFT president, for providing a platform for me to be introduced to the local community. I’ve been around for quite a while though. I’ve been in education for over twenty-five years. Twenty-three of those years were spent right here in two local school districts. Five years were spent in West Oso ISD and the remainder in Corpus Christi ISD.

The first thing I asked Mr. McMurrey when he invited me to speak was, How much time do I have to speak? His response was, You have five or ten minutes." As you all know, teachers tend to be a bit long-winded, some more than other, and I tend to lean toward the more side. In fact, as my husband left to go to dialysis this morning, he said, ‘Remember this is not ‘An Evening with the Author,’ which is what my church held for me a few weeks ago. ‘You are going to have to share the podium with others, and you only have ten minutes.’ He didn’t say good luck or break a leg, just clapped his hands together and repeatedly said, ‘only ten minutes’ and then left for his dialysis appointment. I will try to work within those time constraints, but should I go over just a tad bit, please bear with me. I promise you won’t be bored.

"How many of you believe in divine intervention? There’s no doubt in my mind that the way Mr. McMurrey and I met was indeed divine intervention orchestrated by God. The reason I say this is because of what transpired before we met. A few months earlier, I had been sitting at home, nursing some physical, emotional, and financial wounds and trying to make sense of why I had been constructively terminated by Corpus Christi ISD following the fall I had at work.

"I had been released by my physician to return to work with restrictions due to the nature of my injuries in August of 2009 but was told by the district’s risk-management office that I couldn’t return unless I could return to regular duty. Now the position I held before the fall was an Adaptive Education (AE) teacher position, which required me to assist in lifting students weighing up to at least 120 lbs as well as excessive stooping, bending, pushing and pulling wheelchairs. I did apply for other positions I thought would be less strenuous, given I held a doctorate and masters in education and a bachelors in business administration as well as certificates for superintendent, principal, special education, and vision impairment. But I was rejected.

"I knew I was an excellent teacher because I was told by the school district’s in-house attorney when I questioned why I hadn’t been allowed to advance in my career, back in 2005. She said she had gone through my work record with a fine tooth comb and hadn’t ever seen a record like mine. When she said this, I gave her the ‘What you talkin’ ’bout Willis’ look. She saw the look on my face and explained. ‘As I’ve searched through your records, I couldn’t find one bad note from an administrator or complaint from a parent. Do you know how rare that is to have been in the field of education for nearly twenty years and not have one blemish on your record?’

"Then she continued, ‘At first I thought it was a fluke, so I reviewed your evaluations, and every evaluation was of exceptional quality. The only thing I can think of is that you have been doing the job of four people, and they just didn’t want to move you.’

"I questioned this logic by asking, ‘So you’re telling me because I’ve done a good job I’m being penalized.’

"Her response was, ‘Pretty much, but I’m going to do everything in my power to see that you are provided an opportunity to advance in your career.’ That was in 2005. I fell in 2008. From 2005-2008 numerous administration positions were posted which I applied for and was rejected. I remained as a classroom teacher until I was constructively terminated in 2010.

"To add insult to injury, I had been watching television and observed public school teachers being demonized in the public media. They were calling public school teachers parasites and blaming us for things that we had absolutely no control over. Then politicians who were jockeying for position jumped on the bandwagon and sounded off by spewing their recycled political rhetoric. In the past, they blamed minorities, poor, and elderly for the country’s woes. I guess they felt they had beaten those issues with a dead horse and needed a new target, so the public school teachers were it. There was also a very distraught young school teacher on television who was being interviewed by a reporter. She turned to him and in an exasperated, questioning voice she asked, ‘What’s so bad about teachers?’

"I found myself screaming at the television set saying, ‘Honey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a teacher. We educate the masses. We don’t get the luxury of picking and choosing who we will let into our schools. We have to take all who come.’

"I shared what happened to me with Linda before the meeting started, and she said, ‘Let that be a lesson learned’ and I concurred. Perhaps had I been a member of AFT and had some legal backup, the things that were done to me over the years wouldn’t have happened, and I wouldn’t be here. But then again, perhaps had I been a member of AFT and had some legal backup, the things that were done to me over the years wouldn’t have happened and I wouldn’t be here.

"It was at that point I had an epiphany, which prompted me to begin working on completing my second book entitled, Watch what you DO! Watch who you do it TO! They might tell the world on YOU! As I wrote about all the injustices I had experienced, I was surprised to find those things that hurt me so bad when they first occurred were just as painful today. I thought I had gotten over them, but evidently, I hadn’t. It was like a scab that formed over a sore; you thought it was healed through and through, but just under the surface it is festering full of poisonous infection, waiting for the right moment to rupture and ooze out.

One Sunday morning I had gone to church and was listening to Copastor Teena Houston as she preached a sermon on Every Scar has a Story. She said we all had scars externally and internally, but the only way we could heal from our emotional scars was to forgive. Even though I thought I had forgiven, it was apparent I hadn’t because it hurt so bad when I remembered the bad things that had been done to me. It was during this sermon I started my long journey toward complete forgiveness. I made up my mind to forgive and felt the healing process begin as I wept uncontrollably.

Then I made a declaration to the audience:

"This day, as I stand before you, I can now say to all of those that treated me badly over the years, I forgive you and thank you. Because of what you did, you pushed me out of my comfort zone into my destiny.

"I experienced a complete metamorphosis while writing this book. Evidently, I had wrapped all of my emotional wounds into this tight cocoon and never expected anything else to happen. But after the book was finished, out from my cocoon of wounds emerged a beautiful butterfly, ready to taste the sweet nectar of what God had planned for me.

"I then began to write my third book entitled, I Mattered a Teacher’s Story. This book is for those in the field of education or planning to enter the field. I have taken many of my experiences and written them down. In this book, I demonstrate how to control student behavior from the design of a classroom to simply using a yellow notepad.

"About two weeks after my second book was published, I got a call from one of my dear friends, Mary Lou Rodriguez, asking if I had read the local section of the Sunday paper. I told her I hadn’t. She told me I really needed to read it. My husband went out and purchased it, and I found the article she was referring to. The article was written by Rhiannon Meyers entitled, Legal fees for CCISD $32K, and it involved continuing contracts for teachers. The school district was complaining about spending too much money on attorney’s fees fighting teachers who held continuing contracts. Because of these contracts they weren’t able to terminate teachers at will. I read Mr. McMurrey’s response denouncing these claims and requested the names of the teachers involved in the lawsuits. He was told due to confidentiality that wouldn’t be possible. It was at that moment I felt I had to speak to Mr. McMurrey. So I looked up the local AFT office number and called him. I introduced myself, explained how I had written a book entitled, Watch what you DO! Watch who you do it too! They might tell the world on YOU! which had documents inserted in it that backed up his claims about the district not telling the truth. After a few phone conversations, we met, and I was invited to speak at the AFT breakfast. This is why I believe my meeting with Mr. McMurrey was not by happenstance or chance; it was divine intervention orchestrated by God.

Before I go I want to share a story with you. A student just like this one could walk through your classroom doors when school starts, and you could be responsible for changing his or her life.

What Were the Odds?

Nine-year-old Frankie’s life had never been easy. She’d suffered an inordinate amount hardship over the years. In fact, if you had told Nine-year-old Frankie that fifty-one years later