Just an Average Joe: A Young Person's Guidebook About Respect, Individual Effort and Responsibility, Character Building, and Christian Behavior

By Joe E. Gonzalez

I have toyed and struggled with the thought of compiling this book for a long time; almost 35 years, in fact. Since graduating from West Point in 1974, I have visited over forty countries in my military and business career. Everywhere Ive been I have looked for articles or stories that I could include in this book. Many short stories came from friends and sources marked -Unknown.

This book is dedicated to young people everywhere and written for their benefit. I realize that many young people today would rather buy a CD or DVD rather than a guidebook or an owners manual- a book about how to improve their lives from just an average Joe. Some young people will only get this book if a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or probation officer gives it to them as a gift. I hope it is a gift worth keeping and sharing.

Today, young people struggle with finding good examples of role models. My first role model was David Cortez while attending Rhodes Junior High School in San Antonio, Texas. David was a ninth grader and our Student Council President. He helped me with my successful political campaign to be the next Student Council Secretary. I thought David walked on water. David came from a strong family. He was smart, athletic, and good-looking. He had a beautiful girlfriend. Davids story has a sad ending. He went on to Jefferson High, where he also excelled. He married his girlfriend- the girl of his dreams. A few years later, she tragically died in a car accident. Not much later in life, David, still a widower, died of a mysterious illness, leaving behind two young daughters. Parents should be their own kids role models, but sometimes we, too, fall short of setting the good example for our kids. Parents lose credibility and respect because, from their kids perspective, it seems like we were never young and rebellious. HELLO!!! We were. It is hard to believe, but we were and it was tough back then, too. It may actually be harder now in many ways- more distractions, more toys, more peer pressure, more drugs, more gang violence, more graffiti, more sexual promiscuity, more TV, more video games and cyberspace but less family interaction and influence.

Teachers, who genuinely care about their students future success, are also rare. Teachers can be excellent role models and I applaud anyone who goes into this most honorable profession. In the business world, prudence is ignored and now takes a backseat to personal gain at any cost, recklessness, corruption and greed in some of our largest banks and corporations. In politics, the candidates tell the electorate whats popular rhetoric: who can be against better healthcare for all, better education for our children, and a strong defense. Once elected or defeated they find it difficult to work with the opposition for the benefit of our communities and nation. Todays politicians are no longer statesmen but socialists bent on ridiculous spending programs and bailouts of mismanaged banks, companies and corrupt governments around the world at an exorbitant cost to American taxpayers. Having said all this, I am still optimistic about our country and about many of our youth and their positive impact on our society and our world. I wish I could say that I am optimistic about all of them, but unfortunately, it will be just a few of them that will make a difference. But these few will be the leaders of tomorrow, the peacemakers, the inventors, the farmers, the space explorers, the scientists, the teachers and the caregivers that will make all the difference in our world. Their answers to our worlds problems and challenges will come from within- from a strong sense of leadership, character and responsibility, self-discipline; and respect for self, the unborn, the elderly, religious freedoms, strong families, authority and the environment. This book attempts to inspire & motivate more of to

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 13, 2005
• ISBN: 9781469101569

Joe E. Gonzalez

Joe’s story as a West Pointer and Hispanic American role model is worth telling, especially to minority students growing up in tough circumstances. Over the span of a successful 30 plus year career in the military and business world, he never lost sight of writing this guidebook for the benefit of all young Americans. Like Joe, this book is lighthearted at times but also very practical and serious at other times. The success of just an average Joe came from early exposure and understanding of basic behavioral concepts.. They’re yours for the taking in this book.

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Copyright © 2005 by Joe E. Gonzalez.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form

or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any

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This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

PREFACE

THE GREATEST GIFTS

PRIORITIES

HABIT

TWELVE GOLDEN RULES FOR LIVING

ATTITUDE

120 PERCENT

ABOUT ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO

FROM MR CHARLES SCHULTZ

HATE

RESPECT

IF WE KNEW EACH OTHER BETTER

SHOE MAN

DO NOT DISCRIMINATE

WOMEN AND DISCRIMINATION

POVERTY

BAD COMPANY

GOOD COMPANY

KIDS DEMAND DISCIPLINE

CUSSING

A PIG AND A BOY

THE DAY THE WORLD

WOKE ME UP

YOU ARE SO BLESSED

PASTOR JOE WRIGHT’S PRAYER

PARADOX OF OUR TIMES

THE NEW TERRORISM

WE REAP WHAT WE SOW

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

MARRIAGE

ON BEING A WOMAN

MEN

THE IMAGES OF MOTHER FROM A DAUGHTER

A MOTHER’S LOVE

MOTHERS ARE ANGELS IN TRAINING

THINGS PARENTS DO WRONG WITH THEIR KIDS

WHAT PARENTS SHOULD DO WITH THEIR KIDS

DIVORCE IS NOT THE ANSWER

HOW DOES A CHILD SPELL LOVE?

INFLUENCE

THE LITTLE BOY WHO LOST HIS TEMPER

IF I HAD A BOY

TEACHERS

A TRUE FRIEND

HAPPINESS

RULES FOR BEING HUMAN

NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN RELATIONSHIPS

PLANET EARTH

WORLD OVERPOPULATION?

SEIZE THE MOMENT

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE

BILL GATES’S ELEVEN RULES

NOAH’S ARK

THE BIG ROCKS

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

DO WHAT YOU REALLY

WANT TO DO

THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX

THE CHICKEN AND THE PIG

ROW, ROW ROW YOUR BOAT

THE SPIRIT OF YOUTH

AGING

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

WHO’S IN CONTROL?

STRAIGHT F’S

CHARACTER AND DISCIPLINE

RESPONSIBILITY

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS

ONE SOLDIER’S CHRISTMAS

THE AMERICAN

COMBAT SOLDIER

IT IS THE SOLDIER

HONOR AND LEADERSHIP

SAY IT NOW

LISTENING

ITS A POOR JOKE. . .

WISDOM

STRENGTH AND COURAGE

ACHIEVEMENT

READING

PATIENCE AND PERSISTENCE

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

ABILITY

THE MAN IN THE GLASS

ME

THE COCONUT

WHO DID YOU SAY HELPED YOU WITH THIS?

YOUR LAST NAME

WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?

PLUG IT IN

ONE THOUGHT AT A TIME

YOU MAY COUNT THAT DAY

TIME LINES

STRANGER IN THE HOUSE

RESPECT SPEED

THE MOTORISTS PRAYER

THOUGHTS FROM A BLOOD DONORS TABLE

IM GLAD YOU ARE IN MY DASH

LETTER FROM A SMOKER

AN EFFECTIVE SOLVENT

HANDCUFFS

WORRY

SELF-ESTEEM

LESSONS FROM THE GRAND CANYON

ANOTHER CANYON

GO BAREFOOTED

HOPE

WHICH IS?

THE ANTICHRIST

LUNCH WITH GOD

THE SERENITY PRAYER

A DIFFERENT TYPE OF PRAYER

DESTINY

YOU CAN GO TO HEAVEN

SHARING AND CHARITY

DOES GOD CARE?

I ASKED GOD

JUST CHECKING IN

ON THE RELIGIOUS LIFE

A FUNERAL

TAKE TIME

A BANK CALLED TIME

THE MAGIC OF THREE DAYS

TWO ENDS

THE ESSENCE OF SURVIVAL

THREE THINGS THEY DON’T TEACH IN SCHOOL

THE MAGIC OF TIME AND COMPOUND INTEREST

INVESTING ON A MONTHLY BASIS

ITS NOT A WHOLE LOT OF MONEY

WHY COLLEGE?

WHAT COLLEGE DID FOR TWO PEOPLE

THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

TOYS

SUCCESS

WORK

PHILOSOPHY OF A WINNER

THE ATTRIBUTION TENDENCY

EFFORT VERSUS RETURN ON INVESTMENT

FULL POWER TO GET OFF THE GROUND

LUCK

GOALS

FROM THE WORLD OF SPORTS

QUITTING

IT CAN’T BE DONE

PERFECTION

PLEASE DONT WHINE

A CARROT, AN EGG AND A CUP OF COFFEE

JUST DO IT

PEOPLE ARE LIKE PENCILS

ON BEING AVERAGE

BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED

THE CRACKPOT

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

KEEP YOUR DREAMS

ROSE’S DREAM

AFTER SEVEN

CAPITALIZE ON YOUR STRENGTHS

NOTHING HAPPENS UNTIL A SALE IS MADE

PLANNING AND PREPARATION

ORGANIZATION AND TIME MANAGEMENT

PERSONALITY TYPES

OBSTACLES AND OBJECTIONS

ABOUT NEGOTIATING

THE SELLING FORMULA

THE BEST JOB

THE JOB INTERVIEW

PLANNING FOR A CAREER

SURVIVING CHANGES IN THE WORKPLACE

OTHER BUSINESS SURVIVAL TACTICS FROM THE MILITARY

IF I WERE BOSS

PRINCIPLES OF SALES MANAGEMENT

A BUTTERFLY’S LESSON

YOU’RE A KEEPER

DRINKING FROM MY SAUCER

SMILE

THIS TOO WILL PASS

EARN THIS

BIBLIOGRAPHY

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DEDICATION

Dedicated to young people everywhere; my four children Joseph Paul, Judith Nicole, Jacqueline Marie, and Michael Anthony; my seven siblings Sylvia, Gilbert, Javier, Sandra, Angelica, Celia,, and Emma; the memory of our father José R. González (1919-1995); and the memory of our dearest mother Judith S. González (1926-1997). May they both rest in peace.

Finally, I want to thank three dear Canadian friends Loree Dittrich, her husband Bob and my newest friend Jonathan Snook as contributors all to this book. They openly and magnificently shared much of their lives’ heartfelt emotions and experiences with me.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

It would be impertinent of me to claim absolute originality compiling this book; no work of this kind can be totally original. There is not intent, on my part, to be original except for those experiences cited as my own.

I have toyed and struggled with the thought of writing this book for a long time. I have visited over forty countries during my military and business career. Everywhere I’ve been I have looked for articles or stories that I could include in this book. Many short stories came from friends and sources marked Unknown. A writer who steals the work of another is called a plagiarist. One who takes from the works of many is called a researcher. That is a roundabout way of saying I am deeply indebted to the efforts of so many that it is impossible to acknowledge them all. I have attempted to document the source and credit for each quote, saying, proverb, or parable; and I am sure there have been some omissions; therefore, these have to be inadvertent omissions and certainly when they are discovered, their source and credit will be acknowledged.

The author makes grateful acknowledgement to the thousands of gifted people throughout the centuries including those identified as Unknown, whose spirit, mind, and heart left us their wisdom, beautifully stating the principles of daily living, one day at a time, for our inspiration and guidance in our pursuit of happiness and success.

PREFACE

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny compared to what lies within us.

—Emerson

In today’s complex and fast-moving world, what we need even more than foresight or hindsight is insight.

In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it.

—Marianne Williamson

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.

The main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing.

—Arthur L. Williams

This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. What I do today is very important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever, leaving something in its place. I have traded for it. I want it to be a gain not a loss: good not evil, success not failure, in order that I shall not regret the price I paid for it.

—Unknown

When I look into the future, it’s so bright it burns my eyes.

—Oprah Winfrey

This book is dedicated to young people everywhere and written for their benefit. I realize that many young people today would rather buy a CD or DVD rather than an owner’s manual—a book about how to improve their lives from just an average Joe. Some young people will only get this book if a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or probation officer gives it to them as a gift. I hope it is a gift worth keeping and sharing.

Today, young people struggle with finding good examples of role models. My first role model was David Cortez while attending Rhodes Junior High School in San Antonio, Texas. David was a ninth grader and our student council president. He helped me with my successful political campaign to be the next student council secretary. I thought David walked on water. David came from a strong family. He was smart, athletic, and good looking. He had a beautiful girlfriend. David’s story has a sad ending. He went on to Jefferson High School where he also excelled. After high school he married his girlfriend. A few years later, she tragically died in a car accident. Not much later in life, David, still a widower, died of a mysterious illness, leaving behind two young daughters.

Parents should be their own kids’ role models, but sometimes we too fall short of setting the good example for our kids. Parents lose credibility and respect because, from their kids’ perspective, it seems like we were never young and rebellious. HELLO!! We were. It is hard to believe, but we were; and it was tough back then too. It may actually be harder now in many ways—more distractions, more toys, more peer pressure, more drugs, more gang violence, more graffiti, more sexual promiscuity, more TV, more video games and cyberspace, but less family interaction and influence.

Teachers, who genuinely care about their students’ future success, are also rare. Teachers can be excellent role models, and I applaud anyone who goes into this most honorable profession. In the business world, prudence is ignored and now takes a backseat to personal gain at any cost, recklessness, corruption, and greed in some of our largest banks and corporations. In politics, the candidates tell the electorate what’s popular rhetoric: who can be against better healthcare for all, better education for our children, and a strong defense. Once elected or

defeated they find it difficult to work with the opposition for the benefit of our communities and nation. Today’s politicians are no longer statesmen but socialists bent on ridiculous-spending programs and bailouts of mismanaged banks, companies, and corrupt governments around the world at an exorbitant cost to American taxpayers.

Having said all this, I am still optimistic about our country and about many of our youth and their positive impact on our society and our world. I wish I could say that I am optimistic about all of them, but unfortunately, it will be just a few of them that will make a difference. But these few will be the leaders of tomorrow, the peacemakers, the inventors, the farmers, the space explorers, the scientists, the teachers, and the caregivers who will make all the difference in our world. Their answers to our world’s problems and challenges will come from within—from a strong sense of leadership, character, and responsibility; self-discipline; and respect for self the unborn, the elderly, religious freedoms, strong families, authority, and the environment. This book is published in an attempt to inspire and motivate more of today’s youth to join those few that will be at the helm of our future world.

I’ve learned from all types of people—good examples and bad ones too. I have made numerous mistakes, and I did not always listen to everyone who tried to help me. And not everyone who wanted to help me, wanted to help me. Some only wanted to help themselves at my expense. I have been compiling this idea of a book over the course of many years because I care deeply about young people, who will hopefully read this book and keep it handy or pass it on to a friend or a younger sibling. Teachers may consider passages in this book as a way to end or start the school day or the school week. I recall one hour of the high school day known as homeroom as being a genuine waste of time. Perhaps the homeroom teacher may find this book useful in sharing some genuine thought-provoking discussion during this idle time.

I recall several times in school where we had ten to fifteen minutes left in the class period before the bell rang to move on down the hall to the next class. Typically, some students would start working on their homework assignment, cram for a test later that day, or just review for the next class. Others would just daydream or wait in their seats patiently. I do not recall a single time discussing current events of our time—the

Vietnam War, the assassinations of Senator Robert F Kennedy and the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., or the first manned landing on the moon. I stayed up late on July 20, 1969, watching our small black-and-white television set to see the live transmission from the moon and hear the words of astronaut U.S. Navy Commander Neil Armstrong: One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.

When I was a young man in my late twenties and early thirties I did some motivational speaking in junior (middle school) high and high schools, especially those with high minority student enrollments. But as I got older I realized that I no longer sounded like a role model or big brother, but more like a father or uncle. But sounding like a father isn’t exactly bad either because so many parents don’t really communicate effectively with their kids. I almost titled this book, I YELL BECAUSE I CARE, the capital letters indicative of shouting to get your attention. In the military, that’s how many things get done—barking out orders. Nobody willingly charges up a hill toward an enemy-fortified position. But brave men do. And brave men sometimes die.

In any event, I stopped making these talks at school as my hairline receded and finally decided to share my thoughts in this book. So often we don’t listen to the advice of those closest to us. Sometimes home is where we go when we’re tired of being nice to people. Sadly, we underestimate our parents and our siblings. And many times we find forgiving our loved ones for wrongdoings more difficult than forgiving complete strangers for indiscretions. Sometimes it takes a total stranger or the police and some jail time to finally get through to us.

Young people are often in a hurry to grow up fast and spread their wings—become famous fast and make lots of money and buy all kinds of material goodies. Unfortunately, there are few good role models out there to guide us outside of the superstar athletes or the rock star with a seven-inch tongue or the one who plays with boa constrictors to embellish their act.

So this idea of a book, a collection of one-liners, poems, short stories, essays, quotes, newspaper and magazine articles and advertisements, and my own input and life experiences (in italicized paragraphs) is not necessarily designed to entertain you but to be a good companion that’s easy to read; easy to carry but also a book (maybe a poem, a paragraph, or just a thought) that will weigh you down spiritually, choke you up a bit, and hopefully encourage a positive change in your attitude that will alter your behavior for the good of all, but especially you.

I hope you’ll keep this book handy in good times and bad and during times of loneliness because being different and not always following the crowd is lonely; and despair, indecisiveness, depression and sadness, and hurt can take hold—times when peer pressure seems overwhelming; when you take a tough, unpopular stand but deep in your heart you know you’re right. Leadership is a lonely business. Remember that it may be lonely at the top, but the lunches are better.

Life is hard. Let me say it again, life is hard, but you have to keep reminding yourself that you are special and you are responsible for your actions. Like yourself. Don’t let up, and don’t let down. You deserve the better things in life. Living and making the world a lovelier place is what it’s all about. Decide and commit to a better you. It’s really up to you—your opportunities are unlimited.

This book is about making the world a better place by showing you ways to be a better, more productive, more caring person and citizen. It’s about many of life’s experiences and encompasses recurring themes; and the more recurring in this book, the more important I view them in the development of a young person. To some the sequence may seem chaotic, but life is also at times confusing and disorganized. And not everything will go your way. Life’s not fair. I had fun compiling this book, but I also cried and laughed. I hope that everyone reading this book will find at least one single passage or story that will cause them to reflect on it by saying, I needed to read this today! Please enjoy.

THE GREATEST GIFTS

May you have the greatest two gifts of all:

•   Someone to love and

•   Someone who loves you

Love is our soul purpose.

I think that we spent an entire lifetime in this endeavor. Those who deny it are not being truthful to themselves. We yearn for attention; and in turn, we yearn for opportunities to cater to the needs of others like a loved one or a special someone. I want someone to care for and someone to care for me. Success and happiness can be the result of simply having these two gifts.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back! Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if it doesn’t, be content that it grew in yours.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone. It takes a lifetime to forget someone.

PRIORITIES

A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank checking or savings account balances were, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove . . . but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a young person.

It’s easy to sit in the sunshine

And talk to the man in the shade,

It’s easy to sit in a well-made boat

And tell others just where to wade.

It’s easy to tell the toiler

How best to carry his pack.

But you’ll never know the weight of the load

Until the pack is on your back.

—Unknown

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace!

Where there is hatred, let me sow love

Where there is injury, pardon

Where there is doubt, faith

Where there is despair, hope

Where there is darkness, light

Where there is sadness, joy

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console

To be understood as to understand

To be loved as to love for

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and

It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

—Saint Francis of Assisi

HABIT

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command.

Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me,

And I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.

Show me exactly how you want something done,

And after a few lessons I will do it automatically.

I am a servant of all great men

And alas, of all failures, as well.

Those who are great, I have made great.

Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine

Plus the intelligence of a man.

You may run me for a profit, or run me for ruin.

It makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me,

And I will put the world at your feet.

Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.

Who am I?

I am Habit!

—Unknown

If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.

—Napoleon Hill

Bad habits indulged in become crimes. Habits are cobwebs at first; cables at last.

(Chinese proverb)

Habits if not resisted soon become necessity. Habits either