Being Positive in a Negative World: Spiced Weekly Nuggets

By Sy Tshabalala

Congratulations! The book you have in your hands this very minute is about to propel your personal development at a speed you cannot begin to imagine. It is no coincidence that you are reading this book at this point in time in your life. You have attracted it to your hands because it is exactly what you need. My hope for you is that regardless of your circumstances, you will awaken to new possibilities about your own potential as a unique being. I invite you to see yourself as a possibility just like the human beings whose stories you are about to learn about. Real life stories that lay testimony to the triumph of the human spirits over poverty and abuse in all its forms. You too have an inbuilt capacity to become great in your own unique way. This book is about planting the mental seeds that will allow your mind to unlearn accepting and being contend with the negativity that surrounds you in every area of your daily existence on this planet. It is a book about how to develop a positive mind that will allow you to live positively in a realistic way.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Africa
• Release date: Jan 21, 2015
• ISBN: 9781482805536

Book preview

Copyright © 2015 by Sy Tshabalala.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-4828-0554-3

                eBook           978-1-4828-0553-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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Contents

1.   God

2.   Life is Precious

3.   Purpose

4.   Uniqueness

5.   Attitude

6.   Vision

7.   Ideas

8.   Dream

9.   Born to make Headlines

10.   Small Beginnings

11.   Ordinary People

12.   Patience

13.   Focus

14.   Perception

15.   The Right Moment Mode

16.   Negative Circumstances

17.   Limitations

18.   Time

19.   Familiarity

20.   Friend

21.   Indecisiveness

22.   Doing the Undesirable

23.   Benefits of Reading

24.   Change

25.   Routine

26.   Growing or Ageing.

27.   Survival Mode

28.   Completed Building

29.   Habits

30.   Battle Within

31.   Fighting for Acceptance

32.   ATM

33.   Eagles’ Mindset

34.   Rejection

35.   Pain

36.   The Past

37.   Victim or Victor

38.   Nightmare

39.   Time Out

40.   Critics

41.   Competition

42.   Pregnant Mom

43.   Words

44.   Tomorrow Syndrome

45.   World of Wishers

46.   Response to Life

47.   Learn from Children

48.   Preparation

49.   Emotions

50.   Opinion

51.   Don’t Quit

52.   Turning your Life Around

Second edition published in 2014 [Spiced Weekly Nuggets: Being Positive in a Negative World by Sy Tshabalala] Email: [e-mail], [e-mail] Spiced Weekly Nuggets: Being Positive in a Negative World by Sy Tshabalala. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievable system or transmitted, in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording and/or otherwise without the prior permission of the publisher. This book may not be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise disposed of by way of trade in any form, binding or cover other than that in which it is published, without prior consent of the publisher. ISBN:

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT THE WEEKLY NUGGETS

• In Being Positive in a Negative World, the author offers a pathway for personal growth with hands on practical guidelines that will help you, not only to facilitate change in your life but also to overcome fear, failure and mediocrity-Given Mokoteli (Hloni Group Division)

• Immaculate language usage that cuts across ages with perfect usage of figurative language that makes the book tremendously interesting and fun to read. This book has the capability of making kings out of slaves and building positive role models with its inspiring quotes and stories-Thabang Nkadimeng (learner)

• This book has helped me to daily maneuver through the congested traffic of negativity-Benny Magedi (SANDF)

• I would summarise the book as my personal tutor and these are the lessons I had learned: Introspection, Change and rising above my limiting and restricting environment- Nomthandazo Thabethe (Student-Torque I T)

• This book has been my source of inspiration, in that it has motivated me to pursue my dreams-Paul Ntuli (Pre-form (PTY) LTD)

• Weekly Nuggets–can easily become daily doses of power packed positive outlook on life’s challenges and opportunities. This book is a mix of facts and inspirational experiences that make one thinks optimistically of a pessimistic situation. It is a must read and a must share-J.Z. Mathebula (Gauteng Department of Education)

• The nuggets in this book have basically been my road map of life, because it’s not always easy to maintain a positive attitude in the middle of negative situations. This book has made me to see life in a different light-Koketso Senona (learner)

• The book was an eye opener to me, it took me out of ignorance and gave me a reason to wake up every day with an expectation of seeing my dreams fulfilled, I have also learned that I am a leader and not a follower-Benny Dhladhla (SAPS)

• I really learned a lot of things from this book, especially the nuggets about the past and fighting for acceptance-Mercy Mokosheni (Student- University of Pretoria)

• The weekly nuggets have really changed my perspective about life. They have equipped me with the means to address my daily challenges. I have even infused them in my professional work of guiding and empowering learners-Fankie Makopo (Educator)

• Reading the book was a personal journey of self-discovery. My life has taken a turn for the best. I have learned not to blend anymore but to stand out. This book has motivated me to be a ground breaker, a pathfinder and a trendsetter-Victor Munyangane (Statistics SA)

• The nuggets in this book are motivational, challenging and informative. I really enjoyed feasting on them-Pascal Msimango (student- Big Sky Cabin Crew SA)

• The following is my comment about the book. "As a pastor of a church with people who experience various life challenges, this book has been a great and brilliant tool to remedy the despondent and hopeless congregants. Many people who heard me speak from the book were restored and empowered to face their hardships head-on with new courage and insight. This book is more like a GPS Navigator in our present uncertain modern life-Ps Abram Machitela (National Prosecuting Authority and Reconciliation Gospel Fellowship)

• My experience with the book was amazing. I have learned that life can be tough and that’s why we need to be able to look at our circumstances and decide how to be the best we can be within those situations. Life has value, but it’s more important to see value in ourselves-Vusi Mokolo (learner)

• In the world that is full of people who are pessimistic, it is refreshing and inspiring to read a book that will spur you to greater heights of your dreams and desires. This book serves that purpose-(Educator) Pastor Sam Mnguni (Elohim Assembly Ministry, Cullinan)

• Being positive in a negative world has helped me to see things in a different way. The situation about HIV and Aids, unemployment and leadership crisis have bombarded many with fear and uncertainty. I managed to start a youth organization called Hlanganani Youth Foundation in order to encourage the youth to be positive in a negative world-Abel Baloyi (Project Manager-HYF)

• This book has challenged me to rise from the background of negativity to the stage of optimism. I have learned the importance of possessing a positive attitude, being creative, visionary and self-motivated in the pursuit of my dreams-Mpho David Sebothoma (learner)

• What an experience to discover that you can be what you want to be in life by starting to do things that really matter. This book has been an inspiration to me and my family-Sipho Skosana (Department of Correctional services)

• This book motivates you to understand that there are challenges in this world. It also makes one aware that people will not always be on your side. Most of all, the book says, "know what you are, believe in yourself and reach for your goals no matter what. It is not what happens to you that is important but what you do with what is happening to you-Martin Manamela (I can Foundation)

• We usually take vitamin supplements to boost our immune system. But what we seem to neglect is our mental immune system. Fortunately for me, these nuggets have become supplements that gave me the strength to stand even in an atmosphere that was infected with a deadly virus of negativity-David Manopi (Principal, Ayanda primary school, Soshanguve south secondary school)

• Going through this book I came to realize that the wisest mind has something yet to learn and to acquire knowledge one must study but to acquire wisdom one must observe. What the author has written in this book is basically to challenge us to rise above our fears and to re-awaken the sleeping giant that is residing in every one of us. Every nugget in this book is more like a capsule filled with the powdery substance of positivity-Pastor Solly Mathibela (Age of Hope Ministries)

• Being in prison is very painful, one always battle with depression and hopelessness. Suicide has continued to flicker in my mind as an emergency exit. But since I laid my hands on this book, there has been a glimmer of hope. The nuggets has basically become the spark that revived my dreams and gave me the strength to continue with life-Isaac Skhumbuzo Mlangeni (Inmate-Zonderwater Correctional Centre)

• The nuggets in this book have taught me how to deal with the unpredictable storms of life. I have learned that failure is just a word in a sentence-Trevor Zwane (student-University of Pretoria)

FOREWORD

You are more than what you have become

– Mufasa the Lion King)

Congratulations! The book you have in your hands this very minute is about to propel your personal development at a speed you cannot begin to imagine. It is no coincidence that you are reading this book at this point in time in your life. You have attracted it to your hands because it is exactly what you need. My hope for you is that regardless of your circumstances, you will awaken to new possibilities about your own potential as a unique being.

I invite you to see yourself as a possibility just like the human beings whose stories you are about to learn about. Real life stories that lay testimony to the triumph of the human spirits over poverty and abuse in all its forms. You too have an inbuilt capacity to become great in your own unique way. This book is about planting the mental seeds that will allow your mind to unlearn accepting and being contend with the negativity that surrounds you in every area of your daily existence on this planet. It is a book about how to develop a positive mind that will allow you to live positively in a realistic way.

I met Simon in 1992 at Vista University, Mamelodi Campus. I can recall that lunch hour following our English course one lecture. As we were introduced by a fellow student, he extended his right hand, looked at me in the eye and gave a firm and respectable I see you greeting. From that moment I knew I have met a friend and classmate I can trust and rely on. I liked his sense of humour and the intellectual stimulation he brought into our discussions in and outside lecture halls.

A reserved guy at face value, little did I know that I have crossed paths with a soul determined to ride the waves of life like a professional surfer would. And teach others to do the same. A month later, I spent a weekend with Sy and shared the stories of our lives with each other. Simon was born in the township of Mamelodi and later moved to Atteridgeville. He was raised by a mother he dearly loved and respected. During my weekend visits to his home I would observe the way he would take instructions and requests from her to help with family chores, including scrubbing and polishing the floors in and outside the house.

As we walked the dusty streets of Atteridgeville one New Year’s Eve with 10 small firecrackers in our hands (we couldn’t afford to buy ourselves the fancy ones) we vowed to rise above the seemingly limited backgrounds of poverty we came from.

This little story might seem irrelevant to you at face value. Maybe you can identify with it for what it reminds you of, in your journey through life. Like is Simon’s case, life never stops making demands of us. Firstly, life demands of you to physically survive. Then it unleashes a seemingly non-positive environment upon you to fight for your very survival. What is contained in the pages you are going through are sign-posts about surfing the maze of life in all its complexities.

As you feed on these daily nuggets, may the next 52 weeks be rewarding to your soul and may they quench your longing for a positive and fulfilling life. After all, such a life is within your reach, all you have to do is see yourself as a possibility. Enjoy the journey. Tiyani Benjamin Mhlaba (Managing Director-Khuselo Management Consulting)

Dear Reader

Give light and the people will find their own way -Carl McGee

Thank you so much for investing in this project. I trust that your life will be impacted by the inspiration contained in these pages. My purpose in compiling this book is to share my experiences with you through the different things I have encountered and learned in my life’s’ journey.

I have among others included episodes from other people’s remarkable life stories to encourage and to inspire you into rewriting your own. After all, you are an author and you have the power to adjust and to re-create a best-selling novel from the struggles you have experienced. I believe there is greatness within you, which unfortunately has been subdued by your past hurts, errors, disappointments, shortcomings, fears, doubts and ignorance.

That is why I have decided to assist in a small way by offering you this book which is rich with inspiring real life stories of people who have managed to attain success despite the odds they faced. People who have managed to deal with their challenges by learning to create a path through their forest of hardships. What I am presenting to you is a buffet of inspiration, which is made up of 52 weeks (dishes) of motivation, hope, faith and lots and lots of positive energy.

I hope and believe that this book will bring a spark of inspiration by jumpstarting your faith in spite of the negative challenges that you are or may found yourself in, whether it is the depression of imprisonment, recession, retrenchment, divorce, abuse, routine, lack, stagnancy, debts and diseases. Listen, life offers us choices in which we can decide whether to allow the struggles of life to strangle us or stand up and fight back. Personally, I prefer fighting back because there is a possibility that one may win.

This book has therefore been written to serve as a coach to those who are in a boxing ring of life. A coach who will point to you what you are capable of, even when you are doubtful. A coach who will cheer you on until you rise up and do exploits, because honestly speaking, you were not born to exist as a statue of your depressing past but to live as an architect of your desired destiny. Last but not least, if this book really inspires you, don’t keep it to yourself, share it or encourage others to purchase their own copy.

Help me to spread the virus of positivity and to infect more and more people. After all, those who are infected with this virus (Hope Infused Vision) will end up with the symptoms of success, progress and productivity.

I hope when you count the stars you begin with yourself, and may you embrace the moonlight with your dreams-Dodinsky

NB: This book is not for everybody, it is not for the selected few who feel they have made it, but it is for the determined masses, who believe that they too can rise up and become great by walking in the footsteps of Giants.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

• To the Big Man upstairs, the creator of heaven and earth and the script writer of my life, without you, this book will not have been conceived.

• To the first lady, the only rose in the garden of my heart, my wife, Prudence, your role of being a midwife in this project is really appreciated

• To my Adorable son, Abundance, thank you for behaving while daddy was putting the final touches to this book.

• To my precious mom, you are the farmer that planted the seed through the books and magazines that you daily brought home

• To my brother Mandla, your efforts in the birthing stage of this book were not in vain.

• To Ps Sam Maseko and Clement Ibe, you are the air traffic controllers who motivated me to take-off through your weekly doses of inspiration.

• To Rev Victor Malefetse and Rev. Mexico (AME Church), you are the ones who started the process of unearthing, training and encouraging the once shy teenager into being what I am today.

• To Rev Mnguni, words are not enough to thank you for the fatherly role you played in revealing the author and speaker, who was silently residing within me

• To Ps Solly Mathibela, thank you very much for being the paramedic that gave oxygen to this baby

• To the learners of Ribane Laka high school, thank you for jump starting my dream through your unadulterated enthusiasm.

• To my former colleague, Mma Sehloho, your motherly advices, rebuke and encouragement were not in vain, I have surely changed from the once stubborn, young belligerent educator to the mature family man I have become.

• To my facebook family, I am so grateful for meeting you guys. After all iron sharpens iron.

• Special thanks also go to my former educators at my al-ma mater, Flavius Mareka. I am what I am because of you.

• To my friends, finally the smses have become a book.

• My gratitude also goes to Larry page, Sergey Brin and Philo Fairnsworth for giving me access to information through the tools they have invented

• Lastly, I would like to take my hat off to the great men and women who have inspired me through their incredible life stories and their victory over insurmountable odds. Thank you for teaching me how to live positively in a negative world.

IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES; IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES

IT WAS THE AGE OF WISDOM; IT WAS THE AGE OF FOOLISHNESS

IT WAS THE EPOCH OF BELIEF; IT WAS THE EPOCH OF INCREDULITY

IT WAS THE SEASON OF LIGHT; IT WAS THE SEASON OF DARKNESS

IT WAS THE SPRING OF HOPE; IT WAS THE WINTER OF DESPAIR

WE HAD EVERYTHING BEFORE US, WE HAD NOTHING BEFORE US

WE WERE ALL GOING DIRECTLY TO HEAVEN; WE WERE ALL GOING THE OTHER WAY

Charles Dickens

INTRODUCTION

As my point of departure, I would like to borrow the following thought provoking words from my mentor, the world celebrated author and television evangelist, Bishop Thomas Dexter Jakes. Life is a roller coaster. Life is not a straight line between two points. It has many twists and turns, peaks and valleys, pinnacles and ravines. It has many elevations.

Life is full of contradictions. Looking at it is like having a coin on the palm of your hand, because there are two sides to everything that you see on the earth’ surface.

The world is inhabited, amongst others, by the affluent and poverty stricken; the dejected and energized; the employed and unemployed; pessimists and optimists; procrastinators and doers; the slothful and industrious; players and spectators; critics and admirers, the abusive and caring, quitters and fighters, employers and employees; the brave and fearful; the astute and stupid; leaders and followers, the patient and impatient; the ordinary and extra-ordinary and the victims and victors. I can go on and on, but what you need to know is that all of us belong to either one of these camps. It is up to you to decide in which group you wish to belong.

It is important to know that you possess the means within and around you to reposition yourself from where you are to where you are aspiring to be and from being ordinary and depressed to being extra-ordinary and exciting.

Keep in mind that your current life is a product of your previous choices, and your future position will be determined by your existing thoughts, habits and decisions. Life is like a road with lots of signposts and it is what you do with the signposts that will determine your destiny.

As you go through this book, I would like you to take note of the following points: Being positive is neither an event nor a quick fix solution.

But it is a journey, a mindset, a habit, a life-style and an exercise that requires incessant practice, because along the way you are going to encounter portholes of betrayal, stop signs of failure, road blocks of disappointments, congested traffic of delays, off ramps of uncertainty, traffic lights of discouragement, speed humps of criticism, cul-de-sac of hopelessness and isolated gravel roads of obscurity. But by remaining positive, you will find the tunnel that passes through this mountain of obstacles.

This book contains nuggets that are meant to serve as signposts that will help you to navigate through the traffic of negativity, limitations, fear and hopelessness. I hope and trust that the nuggets in this book will challenge you to rise from the grave of your past to the palace of your dreams.

Please note that there is nothing new under the sun, even the information in this book may be familiar to you, but what really matters in life is not what you know but what you do with what you know. Therefore employ these nuggets as stairs towards the podium of greatness and as keys to unlock the doors that have kept you from living the life of your desires.

It is possible to live a positive life in a negative world. If you don’t think so, then follow me and I will introduce you to people who have learned to turn their lemons into lemonades by deciding to be positive in the midst of negative and discouraging situations. Let us take a journey of unearthing the desires of our hearts and burying the frustrations and disenchantments of the past.

There is something exciting on the other side of your struggles. The light is shining at the end of your tunnel of hardships and tears. There is a silver lining at the end of your dark clouds of hopelessness and pain. Keep walking; keep believing for there is a valley of fulfillment, success and peace of mind ahead of you. Remember, everything under the sun has an expiry date including your current challenges.

If you want the best the world has to offer, offer the world your best

-Neale Donald Walsch

GOD

YOU CAN TELL THE SIZE OF GOD BY LOOKING AT THE SIZE OF YOUR WORRY LIST. THE LONGER THE LIST, THE SMALLER YOUR GOD

— Anonymous

WEEK 1

One of the main pillars that has sustained and given me the strength to maintain a positive attitude in the midst of a negative and hope eroding atmosphere is my faith in God. Being in the journey of life has taught me the importance of attaching myself to the source of hope, the well of inspiration and the sustainer of life. What I am talking about is having a relationship with the Big Man upstairs. I know when I mention Him, what comes into the minds of many is religion. Well, let me help you, I grew up in a religious family, I was forced from a young age to go to church on Sunday mornings and for many years, I continued attending church without really seeing the relevance of it in my life.

As author, Laurence J. Peter rightfully puts it, going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. What was happening every Sunday morning was just a religious ritual; my life remained the same in spite of my weekly attendances. And as the founder of communism, Karl Marx once said, Religion is the opium of people. In other words, religion is more like a drug that poisons the minds of those who indulge in it. In the movie, "Seven years in Tibet, one of the Chinese generals whispered something during his visit in Tibet. He said, Religion is a poison."

The problem with religion is that it has misled many by presenting God as a passive being who is less interested in what we are going through. Religion has further portrayed God as a sadist who delights in inflicting the world with suffering, sickness, death and destruction. According to religion, God employs situations like poverty, retrenchments, accidents, death in the family, diseases and hardships to teach people a lesson and to test their faith, when the truth is to the contrary (2 Timothy3:16-17 and James1:13).

God is persistently seen as the inventor of pain and suffering. That