Apocalypse (Maybe)

By Dennis Doph

Dennis doph has lived life in the spotlinght, from babyhood on. Featured on the ivory snow box at age six months, he morphed From perfect uberkraut baby to a serious number, pushing the Nudity envelope off-broadway, in Hollywood, and right out on The street. After a career in film restoration, Dennis doph made the leap to waiver theater as the author of controversial plays Like the day doris came out of the closet. APOCALYPSE (MAYBE) WILL BE FOLLOWED IN 2008 BY ITS ROUGH BROTHER psycho boulevard.

http://www.apocalypsemaybe.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 20, 2007
• ISBN: 9781465329363

Dennis Doph

Now retired, DENNIS DOPH was a twenty-year wordsmith with a major studio in Los Angeles. His previously published works include Instead of Solitaire, Stuff Happens, Psycho Boulevard, and Beyond Beyond. He currently lives in California.

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Copyright © 2007 by Dennis Doph.

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Contents

FOREWORD

THE THREE HANDER

THE BIN LADEN CONNECTION

THE MAN WHO

TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING

HOW THIS HURTS

THE RESCUE OF JESSIE LYNCH

HE IS A CHRISTIAN

THE DRAG RACE AROUND

PARK LA BREA

A TATTOO FOR ALL SEASONS

LIES

SANTA FE HAS

MRS SIMPSON

STRANGLING ANN COULTER

CALIFORNIA DIRTY BOOGIE

CONDI’S DREAM

GODZILLA VS MEGALON

THE WAKE AT NICOLETTI’S

IN THE DNA

CANNIBAL

OHBERAMMERGAU

BAD

SHOOTOUT AT THE VILLA ELAINE

THE BALLAD OF LYNNDIE

SO SO PLACIDO

ANGELA

GOD’S ROTTWEILER

BIG GIRL

TIP-TOE THROUGH THE BLUE-BELLS

WELL YES

36,000 SEDUCTIONS

WE ARE THE GOOD GUYS

AS KATRINA PASSES

SKATEBOARDIN JIVE TURKEY

YOU NEED TO BE HIP

IN ORDER TO HOP

SPRING RAIN

PRIESTFUCKER

A NUISANCE

A THUMPIN

SLIPPED AWAY

BOYS WILL BE BOYS

JESUS WAS HERE

BUT HE LEFT EARLY

KRISPY KREMES

SLING LIZARDS

RAW RED MEAT

JESUS HAD A DICK

A NIGHTMARE

MILTON REDUX

DONE RUN OUT OF FOOLS

SEVERIN YOUR SERVANT

TWO FAT BABES

A WOMAN BLEEDS

COMRADE DVORSKY AT THE TOMKAT

TOO HOT FOR GOD

"WE COULD HAVE DONE

THINGS DIFFERENTLY"

WET

MISTER AUDREY DEAN

I WANT TO BE DANCED WITH

SAVE THE LAST PAGE FOR ME

CELERY SOUP

FOREWORD

After publishing three poetry/essay books, Instead of Solitaire, and the dynamite duo Stuff Happens and her evil twin Stuff Keeps Happening, I find myself on the horns of a dilemma.

Apocalypse (maybe) has been a long time coming. Much of the early material

Came pouring out of me (like pus) as the Bush Administration began to unfold,

In all its raw and uncomfortable glory. Its arc has gone up through all the years

Of Team Bush as my anger has risen… and risen… and risen.

At the same time, I seem prompted to illustrate my very personal lifestyle

In broader and broader strokes. Where once I bordered on the subtle and

Semi-intimate, I now seem to be stripping, unzipping and throwing caution

To the winds.

Caution, indeed, is just one casualty of the last six years. This is not a time

For subtlety or caution. A Stick in the Eye explains my modus operandi

More succinctly.

At any rate, Constant Reader (thank you, Dorothy Parker!) you may be

Startled and perhaps even offended by the vituperative quality of some

Of my maunderings. I’m not apologizing. Just cautioning.

If the Decider is beyond the realm of apology—so am I. If our secretive

Vice President suddenly decides he belongs in a legal category beyond

(and above) categorization—so do I. What’s good enough for these swine

is good enough for me.

Therefore, Constant Reader, press on! And remember Dorothy Parker’s

Charming rejoinder while reviewing the House on Pooh Corner:

Tonstant Weadahfr’ew up on page thirty-seven

If you feel like spewing, spew. Love ya.

DENNIS DOPH

THE THREE HANDER

I stand in my bathroom nude smiling

smiling because I know I can transform myself

Because I can transform myself into something more

So much more than what I see

Dropped the little Viagra pill at three thirty

dropped it with a Coke and a handful of peanuts

went out to stand at the Franklin/Whitley DASH stop

Beginning to get the boner from hell

Big handsome blond guy from the interior court

came out with his yappy little red dog

Stood on the corner with me ostensibly discussing

flat prices

All the while staring at the miracle in my pants

All the while his large handsome mouth getting wet at

the edges

Staring at what was happening in my pants

I stand at the bus stop in my N2N silkies

Silkies which show plainly the big Kraut head of my dick

Silkies which show the bulge of my testicles

Every car that passes on Franklin passes

Under the threatening bulge of what lies in those pants

At three thirty five the DASH bus picks me up

I and my silkies and my Three Hander rise to the occasion

We all rise as the big fat black lady bus driver

Solemnly checks out the vision that rises

Watches me in her rear view mirror all the way

to the back of the bus she checks where I sit

At Fairfax High a bunch of Cholo teenagers get on

God I never knew kids could be so young

So fucking young so fresh so naive

Of all the kids one or two of the girls

hip enough to know that in their midst

A middle aged redheaded lust driven faggot

carrying in his silkies the legendary Three Hander

He who carries the legendary Three Hander

displaces a strange little piece of Megalife

Ultra Life sustained by the man who carries it

Cholettes picking up on the spoor of that

Ultra Life

One of them big busted mature for sixteen

Jetblack hair streaked Christina Aguillera Wildblond

Eyeballs me all the way from Whitley to Vine

I can see her plumblack Katy Jurado

eyes

Roving all over my N2N silkies

Roving all over the sullenly proffered Three Hander

When she gets off on the corner of Vine

She murmurs as she passes Awwwww Papi

Such is the progression of the Three Hander

of the man who has the balls to carry one

Carry one fearlessly through the streets of Los Angeles

Swingin large

Ride the DASH bus to Fountain and Normandie

right there in the middle of the Cholo neighborhood

Bedsteads mattresses abandoned on the curb

Roving eyed grandfathers standing in their yards

Watching N2N silkies pass by

look at each other mutter Ayyyy Caramba

Pass them by serenely concentrating

On the Palace of Pleasure only blocks away

Simmering Turd of Hell on the corner of Mariposa

big hairy old Robert takes my twentytwo dollars

Twentytwo dollars for the private room

Where I expect to be entertaining the Beast Man

Entertaining him Yes stripping him penetrating him

Where I expect the big ruff Beast Man to give himself to me

Crying Fucker over & over again

Into the Palace I troll the Three Hander

Big old Don checks out the Three Hander

growing larger & larger from the spunk of Viagra

growing thicker & more obvious from the surge of lust

That drives me thru the halls of the Palace of Pleasure

Big Old Don sucks on the butt of his cigar

Saturates it with about a pint of spit

Move like a sexghost thru the halls of the Palace

in one of the private rooms I roll a handsome married man

over onto his stomach anticipating

stroking his butt preparing for the invasion

of the doughty persistent Three Hander

The Married Guy’s eyes widen in alarm

Press the Three Hander into his mouth

Stroke his butthole with tender anticipation

Discover it flutter open wide for me

Open wide for the invasion of the Three Hander

Roll the guy back onto his shoulders

Slowly insert the Three Hander into him

Involuntary gasp that escapes from his lips

Fills the entire rear of the Palace of Pleasure

Stand wearing only shoes in the Palace of Pleasure

slowly stroking pumping my treasure

Pumping my dick up inside this man’s soft wet ass

Increasing its length and its diameter

Knowing the Beast is going to be parking his Lincoln

while I watch him on the closed circuit TV

Here he is now parking his Lincoln

Perfectly proportioned body shining in white

Moving his thickly muscled thighs thru the heat of

the day

Into the vestibule of the Palace of Pleasure

He comes through the door with a smile and a kiss

the kiss opens up into a lascivious embrace

His hairy arms encircle me claim me for their own

His body melts into me there at the Coke bar

Old hairy Robert feels up his titties

watching me take the Beast possess him

watching me kiss him till he starts to gasp

Gasping for breath there in front of Robert and Old Don

Take him by the hand lead him to the private room

Strip him of his clothes there in the private room

There in the private room I kneel fellate him

knowing his penis will expand into a monster

Something even more than my doughty Three Hander

Fall onto the bed eat out each other’s asses

Knowing heaven is just one silly stroke away

The silly stroke happens I penetrate the Beast

Predictably he cries out from the force and the heat

of it

Throws back his handsome head cries Fucker

The whole rear section of the Palace of Pleasure

Rocks & Reels with the sound of our congress

Rocks & Reels as our first three fucks resound

into the ears of the knowledgeable men

who know this salty sexual juggernaut

is very shortly coming their way

Coming yes coming their way

As they would say on the Internet Cumming

Big handsome Larry waits in the video room

stroking his thick blunt needful penis

letting his mouth fill with saliva

Knowing sooner rather than later

His hands and his mouth will be full of us

We emerge