Family Relationships & the American Heart

By Terry Herron

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 23, 2003
• ISBN: 9781465326355

Terry Herron

Terry Herron, is a writer and Certificated Lay Minister with the United Methodist Church. He works part time at Central United Methodist Church where he helps with the Feed our Sheep program for the homeless. When he worked with the judicial system he was hand picked to run the K.K.K. out of Tallahassee. He not only ran them out of town they have not been back. He is an avid golfer who has hit 14 holes in ones. The local television station with ABC did a sports special on him. He graduated from Ouachita Baptist University. When he worked for the State of Florida they; sent him to Florida State University and Biscayne College in Miami, Florida.

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Copyright © 2003 by Terry Herron.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Xlibris Corporation

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Contents

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

NOTES

DEDICATED

This book is dedicated to my two children Jared and Corey;

my Parents, Harris and Joan Herron: my Church,

Central United Methodist Church in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

Rev. Tony Holifield his wife Sarah for their example

of what a great family looks like.

A special thanks to the town of Fayetteville, Arkansas

for a place of refuge while I wrote the book.

INTRODUCTION

This book is an emotional roller coaster. It provides you with a clear picture why some families have the American dream and the other families have dysfunctional relationships.

You will also understand why our family relationships have empowered the terrorists to come now to America and where they will be going.

This writer has experienced this professionally and personally. You are receiving 18 years of professional experience in dealing with America family relationships. The jobs have been as a probation and parole officer, juvenile counselor, child abuse counselor and case manager of an adolescent psychiatric hospital.

The experience of success and the failures has created this book as a wake up call to America. We all want an America that will be a great Nation for our Children and our Grandchildren and with that understanding, let us begin our journey in America by reading this book and making America great with our families.

We are at a time in our Nation of great change. We are a great Nation because of our freedom and our family history in this Nation.

We have staked the whole of all our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God. President James Madison.

I am truly blessed to bring you this book with the understanding that it will enrich your family life and in so doing bless America.

Terry Herron

CHAPTER 1

THE AMERICAN FAMILY OF TODAY

It’s 9-11-2001 and 911 is going off in New York City. It looks like World War III has started on national TV. America will never be the same again. Terrorists have hijacked four airplanes and crashed two into the World Trade Center and one into the Pentagon. It appears that the other one was headed to the White House but the American hero on board overtook the terrorist and made the plane crash in the woods. Holy war has hit us and it isn‘t holy.

Osama bin Laden and the al-Qaeda network appear to be behind the attack. This attack has shocked us into reality. Our ability to love each other and communicate with each other is directly correlated with our ability to survive as a species. We now have a new „rule book" and we have to get with the program or we as a species are going to kill ourselves. As you read this book you will ascertain that I told Bill Clinton that this day would come but he would not listen and did everything in his power to stop me, short of killing me.

Prior to 9-11-2001 we had the best of times appearing because our technology was leading the world in the race for bigger and better. However, our American way of life, as we know it today, is going to change, and it is going to have to change in a hurry. We now know that a few people can kill the whole world in just a few minutes. It is going to make us real uneasy because we as a people do not like change. No one in America likes change except a baby with dirty diapers. Our government, court system, and family relationships are going to change and work together for the better, more than we ever have or want before.

This book will deal with this change. We as Americans have always overcome great problems. It is our heritage. We, the American people, will work together like our forefathers before us to preserve this great nation. A little girl said it best when she said, „Mother, if the world is such a bad place why do we have so many American heroes on TV helping out?" Our real American heroes were revealed before our very eyes. Our New York City policemen and firemen worked their hearts and souls off before our eyes. Our sports heroes put up their toys and we all worked together in war.

Since we have been blowing up our schools and courthouses, the terrorists will attempt to recruit some of us to help them.

„A nation and state is only as strong as the heart of the family in that nation and state." (An old proverb.) This book will show us where we are and what we have to do in order to make our families stronger. We will overcome this problem in our American heart; however, to ensure that our children do not follow the terrorists, this book is an attempt to heal our families.

There is a drastic change in our society and it is changing the makeup of our homes at an alarming rate. Since Bill Clinton was president, statistics have shown that fatherless homes have gone from 25 percent to 40 percent. In the Afro-American family alone we have 65 percent of the families in fatherless homes. We have 8,643,525 million males in prison or jail in America who are primarily from divorced homes, and the majority of them are Afro-American (source: Book of Criminal Justice Statistics, 1990, table 6.63). The family has deteriorated more during this period of peace than at any other time in American history. The institution of marriage and fatherhood that has made this nation the greatest nation in history is breaking apart.

Each generation of Americans has experienced some form of problem, but the children of the next generation were always better off than the previous. We have created a degraded America due to the breakup of the traditional family unit, which will be the norm soon after the turn of the century. We no longer have to worry about the Cold War; our life can be taken from us by just walking on our streets. This broken spirit in America is coming from our dysfunctional family relationships. Children all over America are being emotionally abused due to divorce within families. This abuse is programming our youth for even more violence in the future.

We have experienced real tragedy during the last few years. Among these are: the Waco, Texas, massacre; the Oklahoma City bombing; the Jonesboro, Arkansas, shooting; the Littleton, Colorado, shooting; and now the World Trade and Pentagon terrorist attack. The common denominator in all of this is the dysfunctional family unit, the ease of obtaining a divorce, and the unconstitutional pecking order of our divorce courts. It is in schools that the male population in our society realize that the Equal Rights Amendment of the constitution is no longer binding in the divorce courts. Children share their home life with their friends at school. It doesn’t take long for word to get around that dear old Dad had to move out of the house and begin paying child support or face being thrown in jail by the divorce court judge. The majority of the male children doing the school shootings are from dysfunctional families and or broken homes. It doesn’t take much brainpower to realize that they have never learned how to bond or interact with others in the traditional, acceptable way.

The reason that O.J. knows something about who killed Nicole is due to the fact that he wanted custody of the children. O.J. knew that if Nicole were living he wouldn’t obtain custody of the children in court. O.J.’s ego and controlling attitude couldn’t handle losing Nicole, much less the children. Yes, our divorce courts have some ownership of the violence America has at this time.

On 12-28-98 Janet Reno, the attorney general, released a news report that stated that violent crime is at its lowest point since 1973. She stated that the nation’s violent crime rate declined nearly 7 percent in 1997. However, the FBI who provides this information does not have a mandated reporting system from the nation’s police departments. She failed to state that violent crime had increased 10.7 percent in rural America. Violent crime has just moved to another location. This was the weekend that most Mom and Pop stores across America closed because of new E.P.A. guidelines and violent crime in the store. It was also the weekend that Bill Clinton was impeached by the House. We no longer have a government that will provide us with a clear understanding about reality in America without distorting the facts for their own political benefit.

Since the last government report on violent crime, this age group has declined by 4.3 million. This means that the reason for the lower figures on violent crime is due to the fact that America is getting older, with the median age of Americans at 35.5 in the year 2000 (Great Expectations by Landon Y. Jones). Our American heart, that reflects how we feel, is worse than what the government is telling us because we have less people in the violent crime age and only a reduction of a few points in violent crime.

We will get a clearer picture of our American heart when the economy has a downturn and the child support court orders start producing red numbers.

We have 10 million absent fathers from their children in America at this time. In 1990 about 55 percent of the divorced fathers had visitation privileges and 40 percent of those fathers experienced regular problems with their visitation rights due to the child’s mother. However, the courts will not enforce their visitation rights but they still have a court order to pay child support.

The former President Bill Clinton will be the first American president who created policies that created a new childhood disorder. The new DSM-V book will have Parental Alienation Syndrome in it.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is best defined by the well-known child psychologist Dr. Richard Gardner as a disturbance in which children are obsessively preoccupied with depreciation and or criticism of a parent, denigration that is unjustified and/or exaggerated. Children of PAS show negative parental reaction and perceptions which can be grossly exaggerated and entirely lack any ambivalence. Put simply, they profess rejection and hatred of a previously loved parent, most often in context of divorce and child custody conflicts.

The long-term PAS on a child are extremely serious. PAS is what Ted Bundy’s (Florida serial killer of adolescent girls who was executed) mother did during Ted’s young life.

The reality of PAS is that our court of law and state government is empowering this disorder by giving it special treatment in the court of law. PAS is a form of emotional child abuse and it is against the law. Any judge that allowed this abuse under his or her jurisdiction is in violation of child abuse and should be arrested, if the child is receiving child support.

Early reports from Father Rights all over the United States report that at least 40 percent of our children are being abused in this way. The long-term effect of this disorder acted out in America will make America very unsafe and violent abuse on women and children will increase.

For the most part, these fathers love their children very much but are unable to have a meaningful relationship with them due to the divorce court’s failure to enforce the father’s own court orders. Their role as fathers has been changed to nothing more than being a Santa Claus daddy. On average, divorced fathers get to spend 4 days a month with their children, and far too many of them less than 10 days per year, due to the interference of the mothers with court-ordered visitation schedules. Because of the unequal treatment of the divorce courts, these fathers have thus been denied their ability to nurture their own biological children.

We can realize one reason why we got into trouble so fast by returning to September 21, 1992, an event which reflects the current cultural trend in the United States. „That evening, the season premier of the primetime CBS sitcom, Murphy Brown, assumed what the New York Times called ‘the status of a national even.’ Earlier in the year, the show’s heroine, Murphy Brown, had decided to bear a child outside of marriage, thus becoming, as they say, a single mother by choice. When Vice-President Dan Quayle criticized the show for ‘mocking the importance of fathers,’ a protracted national controversy erupted, in which Quayle was roundly and repeatedly denounced. (Source: Fatherless America by David Blankenhorn)

Single-parent households resulting from easy divorce is where the majority of our youthful violence comes from. We have over 20,000 divorces a week in this nation today involving children (source: The Custody Revolution by Richard A. Warshak, Ph.D.). In most large cities today 42 percent of the new babies are born out of wedlock. This is like a time bomb that will blow up in about 15 years.

We are programming our male children of divorced parents to explode with rage during their lifetime. This is due to the fact that the identity of the male child does not emerge normally because the chance of being able to bond with the father is not experienced. When the boy cannot separate from the mother, he cannot become the son of his father and this develops rage in the male child. He rages against the mother, against women, and against society in general.

We have too many boys with guns primarily because we have too few fathers. The majority of gang members are from divorced homes or Murphy Brown-type homes, where the father is absent and there is no positive male role model relationship available.

Margaret Mead stated that the supreme test of any civilization is whether it can socialize men by teaching them to be a good father, creating a culture in which men acknowledge there paternity and willingly nurture their offspring. History tells us that if this does not happen, a violent society will emerge.

The truth about O.J. Simpson is that his mother and father did not raise him. He had some great coaches and mentors in his life but the history of rage he had against women comes from not bonding with his father. His mother raised him, and his dysfunctional family relationship history denied him the ability for a normal family that would provide him the knowledge on how to resolve family disagreements without a fight. His father did not have positive experience of a normal family life so how could he provide it for O.J.? This dysfunctional family relationship is passed on until someone in the family history breaks the cycle.

The men who are beating their wives and children saw this behavior first from their father, or else, they were those men who were raised without a father. They did not learn how to relate to others without fighting for control in their own family.

When the terrorists see this nation as a nation with just women and children, with fathers who have run off, then they will come at us stronger than ever before. However, the real problem in our nation now is with the children who are programmed with rage because they grew up in dysfunctional or divorced families. This means that the terrorists will be able to bond with our children to bring America down.

Have you noticed that this American tragedy is coming from our father wound, acted out in our children? Just look at the American John Walker who joined Osama bin Laden. His mother and father are divorced and his father is a lawyer.

Did you see Charles Bishop steal a plane and fly the Cessna 172 into a downtown Tampa skyscraper on January 5, 2002? Charles had no relationship with his father and his mother and grandmother were the ones who raised him.

What is happening in divorced families is that the love in the home is being cut off from the children and being replaced by parents constantly fighting for control of the conditions being mandated and set forth by the court at the time