Confessions of a Scottsdale Cougar

By Victoria Phillips

The media perceptions of a COUGAR: an oversexed, desperate older woman on the prowl for nave younger meat could not be more misleading. Every ripened woman I know to be a real COUGAR is so diverse, so deep, and so much more. The COUGAR today has evolved from a woman that has truly suffered to grow and mature. Life has dealt her a hard blow at least once in her youth to teach her what her lifes purpose is truly about. Those lessons that are the most painful are the lessons we grow the most from, and everything is as it should be. Life has taught her, with pleasure and anguish, those lessons so she can discover the real mystery of life and so she, as a spiritually minded soul, can connect to the divine divinity of life.
I have been all things unholy; if God can work through me, he can work through anyone (St. Francis of Assisi).
So if the COUGAR has chosen a sinful lifestyle, why is she so mysterious and why have so many now look upon her as the new sexual icon and matron of the mystery of life?
Perhaps it is from her past sins that she has grown and gained the wisdom of the purpose of life, and that is what makes her the most desirable of all.
Lets explore the fascinating lives of COUGARS. Lets get to know about these extraordinary women who fully embrace the COUGAR lifestyle. What makes them so astonishing? Who are they and where have they come from? What lessons has life taught them to make them so amazing? What have they been through and where are they going? Why do they love dating younger men? What keeps them so viral? How did they suddenly become so successful, smart, sexy, and powerful? How do they exhume such confidence? Why have COUGARS become such centers of attention? How have they made their middle age the new sexual icon? How have these women redefined age and relationships, as well as themselves?
And lastly, what is it that makes them so astonishingly desirable?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 25, 2009
• ISBN: 9781465315946

Victoria Phillips

Victoria Phillips has been enjoying life as a Scottsdale COUGAR since spring of 2003. A single mother of two amazing daughters and originally from Cleveland, she brings her life’s experiences to form a strong bond with other women like herself. They are COUGARS , “hear me ROAR!” Together they share their “wisdom born of pain.” Together they contribute “just how much they have gained.” They are strong, and an invincible force.” They confess their secrets how love has “deepened the conviction in their soul.” What makes them so incredible and how as COUGARS they are now astonishing the world!” Quotes from Helen Reddy’s “I Am Woman.”

Book preview

CONFESSIONS OF A

SCOTTSDALE COUGAR

Victoria Phillips

Copyright © 2009 by Victoria Phillips.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

62934

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

References

This book is dedicated to my children, who have taught me so much and fill my life with love. In addition, this book is dedicated to my fabulous COUGAR girlfriends, who, by their honor, has been the inspiration to confess our secrets so that we may help others, whoever they may be. Lastly, I dedicate this book to the spirit that is in each and every one of us to flourish and run free.

"A heart that overflows with love

overflows with joy as well."

Psalm

Fifty isn’t just the new 40. Its actually the new 30. Pass it on!

—Michelle Pfeiffer

PAIN

Pain, how I have come to learn to embrace you!

You have filled my life with more joy than I could ever imagine.

Through you and you alone I have learned the hardest lessons in life.

You have moved me along kicking and screaming on my journey.

You have taught me in a way that nothing else ever could so that I might truly grow.

You have taught me to cherish every moment and especially those with my loved ones and friends.

You have taught me what is really important.

You have brought me in my darkest hour to get in touch with my soul.

By going through you, I have learned to get to the other side much stronger and wiser.

I accept the fact that you have often beaten me down time and time again and that it was so very necessary for you to do so.

I know through you, I have evolved to appreciate all that is simple around me.

Through you, I have come to revere life and appreciate God’s Divine Creations.

The fear you incited in me taught me to attach to its opposite.

The desperation you impaled; I have learned to let go.

For you, Pain, have been a strong force that has molded my life, my spirit, and my very soul.

Because of you, I can see the wonder in a flower, a tree, and the summer breeze.

Because of you, I now can detach myself from physical wants and connect to the spirit inside.

Because of you, I am more sensitive to others and can see the beauty in each person.

By knowing you, I can truly appreciate how awesome life can be and all its splendor around me in which I am a part of.

It is through you, Pain, that I have grown the most, and in that growth, you have given me more joy to be alive than I ever thought possible.

Oh, Pain! I am so grateful to have embraced you.

Chapter 1

IT’S FRIDAY NIGHT IN SCOTTSDALE

It’s a beautiful Friday night in Scottsdale, Arizona; a sizzling red Corvette convertible pulls up to Scottsdale’s number one premier nightclub, Barcelona. A five-star restaurant with a Vegas-style nightclub all done in the flair of Barcelona, Spain. It is elegant, extravagant, and grand, with an artistic richness all its own. What is unique about Barcelona is it attracts not only those from Scottsdale and Phoenix but also visitors from the world over who seek to enjoy Scottsdale’s many exquisite resorts and taste her nightlife. She literally attracts all ages; its popular clientele ranges from ages twenty-one to sixty. Its polished and sophisticated inhabitants are looking for fun and often hoping to discover that perfect love, a connected soul mate. Most, however, would be happy just to take a lover. It’s where one should see and be seen. It is also where young men come to COUGAR hunt. When hunting COUGARS, one should always hunt in the COUGAR’S natural habitat. Barcelona in Scottsdale, Arizona, is one such habitat.

What is a COUGAR? She is all woman and hear her roar! The definition starts with an age, forty-plus; however, she is never really older, always very much a woman, forever youthful in mind, spirit, and energy. She has been prudent enough to preserve and keep up her looks, so most COUGARS are absolutely stunning. A real COUGAR is a seductive huntress who is victorious at captivating her prey. She has plenty of young suitors, which she often prefers over men her own age. She never goes hungry or indulges in desperation. She left that back in her silly youth. In fact, her prey tends to be the desperate ones. She is all that is a woman. She not only is a beauty in her own right but also is sharp as a whip and has developed and matured her vivacious sexuality. Life has brought her wisdom and a sophistication all her own. She is desirable and confident, and men of all ages want to catch her; typically, it is only the young that are virile enough. What is ironic about COUGAR hunting is that those boys, men, who consider themselves to be hunters really don’t seem to get it—that they are real the prey here. They don’t totally realize that they are dealing with a seasoned predator. She stalks her preys, allowing them to track her; and they do pursue, wanting her, desiring her, after her. You see, the boys love the chase, and the COUGAR knows just how to let them chase her and how she always leads that chase.

The twenty-something valets dressed in their little red suits run to open the car door of that popular COUGAR. Whispering among themselves, thrilled with excitement, It’s Vicki pulling up, and she is delicious. Vic-delicious, says one to the other. What I would give just for a taste. They agree.

As they open the car door, a gorgeous set of long legs come out in a pair of five-inch designer stiletto heels. One heel touches the pavement and then the other exposing a silhouette of magnificent legs that are so very enticing to all looking on. She stands a sharp, sophisticated, yet also sexy woman of fifty years. So very statuesque, she walks with flamboyant refinement. Her full long brown hair frames her gracious beauty. Her sparkling face, only aged slightly with a few lines, adds to her dynamic and unique character. Her eyes are bright and gorgeous with full lashes; her nose is perfect with cheekbones high and soft. Her smile, so perfectly inviting.

She gives warm hugs to the valets, then passes them some dollars. The valets laugh and smile and beg her to take them home with her later that night. She is a favorite COUGAR, a regular at Barcelona. The valets nicknamed her Vic-delicious.

She walks across the drive into the entranceway where she is greeted and welcomed by the doorman, and the security guards watch, as she passes them by. She smiles and wishes them a nice evening, as they do her. The young gals manning the front desk graciously welcome her with exhilaration as they look up to the COUGARS. After all, they are Pumas themselves; that is, a COUGAR in training. This is what that club is all about, and it is hot.

She walks toward the side of the stage, where the band is in between performances. She hugs and kisses all the boys in the band, wishing them a great night’s performance. They speak for a while and flirt because after all, they love COUGARS too.

We have Jim, a twenty-six-year-old hard body, a blue-eyed blond, and the lead male singer of the band. He does Sinatra and Deanno during the dinner hour and Timberlake and 50 Cent at nightfall. Once the tables are cleared off the grand dance floor, all hell breaks loose, transitioning from a five-star elegant restaurant to the most happening nightclub in Scottsdale. Tim is friendly and all so cool. He loves the COUGARS ; many are his fans.

Redheaded Randy, twenty-seven, plays beautiful harmony on the grand piano, again transforming later into an ingenious rock keyboardist. Randy works out; he wears his shirts sleeveless and low to attract, with his muscular arms and pecs. He always watches the COUGARS as he performs. He loves the COUGARS and has made love to some on occasion. He is Jim’s wingman.

Joshua is a doll with awesome talent at twenty-two. His style is versatile from jazz to P. Diddy to Hammer. His smile is dazzling. He is muscular and lean and is the best dancer in the band. His hair is black and course shaved close to his head. His dark skin glistens with sweat as he, with all his provocative moves, is the focal entertainment of the show. Josh is sweetly shy in person. He’s like sweet candy to the COUGARS.

Greg and Mason play the strings. Violin and cello, respectively, for the five-star dinner guests and then rhythm and bass guitars as their rock-and-roll hip-hop music summons the dance crowd.

Greg is the superintendent for the band, handling the basic business at hand. He is thirty, smart, and talented. He is all into his music. His head is shaved, he is strong, and he tends to be reserved until his music starts. His soul harbors a wildness just aching to break loose and run free. He needs the mentoring of a special COUGAR, and he secretly desires it more than anything.

Mason is tall and leanly muscular. He is twenty-five years old, with a chiseled face and dark hair hanging over his brow. His smile is mellow, as is his demeanor. He is good at music. He is new to the scene. Our COUGAR hugs him.

David plays percussion eloquently. He is tall, dark, and handsome, as they say. At twenty-nine, he has already been a favorite Boy Toy. David can play anything on the drums—jazz, Broadway, and big band. He can rap to Metallica. He is gifted at hip-hop and rock and roll. He loves his drums. He loves it all. He has great hands.

She dashes over. Megan, a beauty at five feet seven, when she sees her mentor, Vicki, her beloved COUGAR. Megan is very lean and curvaceous with long blonde hair to the middles of her back. She always gives a shining smile with her beautiful face and big blue eyes. She’s dressed in an elegant long black evening gown that glitters with rhinestones. She asks our COUGAR if she should yet get another breast enlargement and what do you think? Megan is lovely and is understandably obsessed with her looks. She is the lead female performer in the group. She writes music, plays piano, and her voice is awesome, like Nightingale Rock Star would be. She hopes to make it big, and her pressures are many. She is a twenty-four-year-old mother of a three-year-old and takes care of her ailing mother. She really needs to make it.

Our COUGAR assures her that her figure is well proportioned and that she is large enough.

Megan says, Thanks, Mommy, and hugs her back. For girls, especially in their twenties, the COUGARS are their best supporters, their matron mentors. Many of these young women, as are many young people, are more than often a little lost. All too many do not have the best relationship or are just away from their own mothers. They seek the COUGAR’S advice and wisdom. They realize that the COUGAR has already been where they are, has done that, and genuinely cares about them. A COUGAR is willing to share with the Pumas, especially if she is a mother too (MILF—mother you like to fuck).

It’s time now for the band to finish up the dinner melodies. Quick hugs to the COUGAR and well wishes and they are back up on the stage.

Vicki moves on, heading into the lavish ladies’ restroom to freshen up, before entering the main nightclub. She says hello to the restroom attendants, who are happy to see her and tell her how much they like her shoes and that her dress is pretty. She drops a tip in the jar.

She then walks to the back of the restroom and enters a stall, pulls up her dress as she sits down on the ornate toilet. She soon bends over to grasp her stomach with her arms, as if in pain. For one secret is to control one’s weight and waistline by taking at least thirty, but often forty, laxatives, with no dinner. The dispensation pain is that of a knife cutting into one’s abdomen. But she’s been through worse and with piercing diarrhea hangs her head in her self-inflicted torment to stay thin. She remembers her husband, a man she once loved, kicking her gut in, while in one of his rages. Her eyes tear up slightly, and she wipes them. She’s had more pain than taking laxatives could ever induce. Besides, it’s passed. Within minutes, she pulls herself together; after all, she has to look hot! She stands up, for she is a COUGAR, and moves out to the sinks where she washes her hands, fixes her hair, and freshens her eye shadow and lipstick in the mirrors. She looks herself over and smiles. She is a confident woman. She compliments the beauty of a young gal also primping next to her as she exits the restroom. Across the door is the men’s restroom; a few of them entering, now stop to check her out as she slides past them.

She boldly walks down into the club with the graceful strut of a great fe-lion. Numerous eyes turn to look. She then sees her friend, a gorgeous blonde COUGAR who is affectionately called Little Susie because she is barely sixty inches tall—that’s about five feet with sizzling double E cups. There is plenty of cleavage between them as Vicki is a double D herself. They hug one another. Their excitement to greet each other is erotically contagious. Everyone nearby can’t help but look at them. Watching are a couple of guys in their thirties, who gape their crotch, as does the bisexual twenty-something-year-old cocktail waitress watching from the corner.

You can tell they not only are best of friends but also are COUGARS cut from the same sensual mold. They are both mothers, with two children each. Born and raised in the Midwest, Vicki from Cleveland and Susie from Pittsburg. Both grew up with numerous siblings, in blue-collar families. Money was tight, and both know what it is like to go hungry. Clothes were hand-me-downs or from Goodwill. But both had parents who loved them and encouraged them to be all that they could be; even just being girls, they were encouraged to be educated and have a career. Both women worked their ways through school. Both meet men of means, fell in love, but soon learned that marriage was not the live happily ever after fantasy they once were taught. Both had husbands that were selfish and money misers. Both women, who were naïve and trusting in love, became easy targets of their heartless masters, who wanted to control and use them. Vicki was married to a narcissistic man who thought he was a demigod with delusions of grandeur, and Susie was married to a jealous alcoholic who was a paranoid sociopath. Eventually, after years of suffering, both women stood up against the cruelty they endured, resurrecting their spirits and saving their children. Both now have persevered, creating good lives for their children and themselves. These women, in order to survive, made the ultimate sacrifice—laying down their lives for the ones they loved. They moved forward, always working long and hard, constantly giving, as single mothers to do right by their babies. Like the independent and strong virgin Queen Elizabeth I, who was married only to England, her people were her children, her only care, so as it is for both these woman. Not letting any man become their master, they are free. As mother to their children, they simply put that service first before their own needs. Both have dearly paid with their own blood, sweat, and tears with nothing ever being easy or given to them. They willingly gave their love compassionately without hesitation. Both are strong, daringly independent, and dazzling. With a real zeal for life. Life has taught them many lessons, making each an amazing force. Together they give each other strength and power with determination. They have been through thick and thin with each other. They have laughed and cried many tears, overcoming many savage defeats. For none has been able to break these women, these COUGARS with their bold spirits and stoutheartedness. Their friendship is one of courageous valor as they have provided for each of themselves, giving only the best they can to their children. They have been each other’s comfort and source of conviction.

As this is another COUGAR confession, although a COUGAR grows to be forever independent, she derives her strength and fortitude from her comrades, her fellow COUGARS, her friends. Never allow anything, especially a man, to isolate you from your friends. This is a cruel manipulation trick that a domineering Master often uses to control you, beat you down, keeping you only unto and under themselves. If you give up your friends, you can lose the very spirit that fuels your soul.

These women, in their sacrifices, have given wonderfully bright futures to their children. Vicki’s eldest daughter is a flight physician and an officer in the US Air Force. Her younger daughter earned two master degrees in business by age twenty-two and now works as an analyst in the administration of one of the country’s top hospitals. Susie’s daughter is a registered nurse and works as a surgeon’s assistant in ophthalmology. Her son, with a master’s in finance is a wiz kid with analyzing the markets and evaluating risk for Fortune 500 companies. He is in high demand these days.

Nothing would have been possible for those children if not for a mother’s love for her cubs. Both these women paid with their heart and souls to get these children educated with no help from their fathers, or any man for that matter. These woman raised good, responsible young adults who not only are beginning their own successful careers but also are hardworking, kind, and caring individuals.

Many such a COUGAR has laid down herself in service to protect, save, and provide for her cubs. A COUGAR gives of herself. Through her actions, she has grown to be a real COUGAR, whose sole purpose is to compassionately love. She does so freely and this is thus her independence!

Vicki and Susie order their drinks. The bartender sees them, smiles, then pours a Sapphire and Tonic, tall with lime for Vicki and a chocolate martini for Little Susie, her signature drink. Vicki pulls out a $20 bill and pays as next time her friend will pay for her. That’s what girlfriends do. A generous tip is left; they grab their drinks, leaving the bar to make their rounds. Frankie, the distinguished maitre d’ of Barcelona, stops the COUGARS to kiss their hands and offer a big hug. He wants the COUGARS to always feel welcome; besides, they kind of turn him on. Vicki teases Frank about how good he is at smoozing all the ladies and that his job has the best fringe benefits ever. Frankie laughs as he kisses her lips as well. Vicki says, You get to kiss all the girls. Frank replies, I kiss only the beautiful ones! They laugh. Bill, one of the seven-foot-tall bouncers at the dance floor, walks up, giving the COUGARS each a big hug. He picks Little Susie up into the air, holding her delicately but firmly. He is the size of two of her! Everyone laughs. Little Susie demands to be put down, to which Bill quickly complies as he too kisses her hand. Vicki and Little Susie then move again, walk up the steps toward the VIP lounges, and say hello to the gatekeepers. The gatekeepers, Sal and Ernie, urge them to come back to play with the VIPs, but these potent COUGARS have other ideas. They move through the lounge into the inviting courtyard filled with elegantly lit tables and an elaborate polished bar. The bartenders wave and smile. The bouncers there say hello, trying to give their hugs to the COUGARS; after all, they are like family.

For here on this beautiful April evening out, are the official Barcelona and Scottsdale COUGARS : Vicki, Little Susie, and their fellow COUGAR friends; Lynette, Carmen, Linn, Maya, Janis, and Gloria.

Chapter 2

THE TERM COUGAR

Where did the slang word COUGAR come from? How did it come to be a term for an older woman who prefers to date significantly younger men? There is an actual connotation here of a wild, seasoned predator going after a young, naïve, innocent animal.

The cougar (also puma, mountain lion, or panther) is an animal that has been cloaked in mystery and myth throughout history. Because she is a very capable stalk-and-ambush predator, by nature, she is hard to broach. She is a reclusive cat, secretive and crepuscular, being most active from dusk to dawn.

Only the female cougars are involved in parenting. They are fiercely protective of their kittens and have been seen to successfully fight off large animals such as grizzly bears in their defense.

Females are sometimes reported as monogamous, but this is uncertain and polygyny may be more common. Copulation is brief but frequent.

Cougars are slender and agile cats. Depending on the region, it is a mammal of the Felidae family, native to the Americas. She is the largest of the small cats. The grace and power of the cougar has been widely admired in many cultures. The Inca city of Cuzco is said to have been designed in the shape of a cougar, and the animal also gave its name to both Inca regions and people. The Moche people represented the cougar often in their ceramics and art. The Inca god of the skies and thunder has also been associated with the cougar. Mythological descriptions of the animal have appeared of the Cheyenne, the Apache, and Walapai of Arizona. The cougar continues to be a symbol of strength and stealth from combat helicopters and automobiles to athletics. (1)

Cougars look like female lions but only smaller.

The slang term COUGAR that refers to the older women who date younger men seems to have its origin in a dating Web site that featured mature women hooking up with younger men, founded by two women who were told by their nephew that the two ladies were like cougars in search of defenseless small animals and picked up the term from his mates on his hockey team. So it is figured that the term first emerged sometime in 1999.

The term COUGAR gained most of its popularity from a book published in 2001 by Valerie Gibson entitled: COUGAR: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men.

The book reads like a guide on the topic of younger men—how to find them, how to date them, and even how to marry them. When the book was first released, it was met with horror at an age-old taboo of older women having sexual relationships with much younger men.

When many of us think COUGARS, we think of the ultimate COUGAR from the movie The Graduate, with the martini-sipping Mrs. Robinson. In today’s world, real COUGARS are like