Taking Care of Henry

By Jeanette Michelle

Taking care of Henry is a written documentary that describes in detail the struggle a wife sustain in being a caregiver of her husband. Henry, the husband had a stroke 14 years ago and now struggling with Alzheimers. The chronicles takes place in a description form from the author and her family members of how Henry is overtaken by a stroke and later diagnosed with Alzheimers. Taking care of Henry is a documentary that gives full details of the emotions from each family member and the hardships of being a caregiver of a disabled person. It is a factual story with factual events that many families have experienced in dealing with an ailing family member.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 14, 2008
• ISBN: 9781462838257

Jeanette Michelle

This author Jeanette Michelle is originally from Chicago Illinois and now continues her writing and film journey in Tennessee. You can’t save them all is her 3rd published novel, followed by her next release, Millicent Quinones. Jeanette Michelle now hosts an internet talk show (Dark Mantis Talk) Monday – Friday VIA the internet. To know more about this author, her up and coming projects and to tune in to listen to her show, visit www.iamdark.com. If you would like to make comments on this novel and interested in other novels written by this author, please feel free to email her at [e-mail] or visit www.iamdark.com. Jeanette Michelle would like to thank all that have taken the time out to read her novels and thanks to all for their support.

Book preview

Copyright © 2008 by Jeanette Michelle.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

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Xlibris Corporation

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Contents

CHAPTER ONE

(Introduction)

CHAPTER TWO

(Words from Ruth)

CHAPTER THREE

(Ruth Continues)

CHAPTER FOUR

(Words from Chris.)

CHAPTER FIVE

(Words from Joseph)

CHAPTER SIX

(Words from Paul)

CHAPTER SEVEN

(Word’s from Henry)

CHAPTER EIGHT

(Words from Michelle)

CHAPTER NINE

(Closing)

CHAPTER ONE

 (Introduction)

I started on this novel about seven years ago because of my parents. I thought that writing about my father’s unfortunate illness would help me to somehow cope with it. At first I tried not to think on the subject of my father’s illness and stopped writing about his illness. Periodically, I maintained a journal, but… I still bunged in between times. I hated reliving the past. I wanted to forget it, but you can’t forget what’s in front of your face. It’s the same as trying to forget that your head is attached to your shoulders.

Before I continue, let me tell you what to expect out of this written documentary, Taking care of Henry. There is no editing involved. What you read is basically how it was told. This documentary is about a wife who became a caregiver of her husband, Henry. The wife’s name is Ruth, Henry and Ruth is the parent’s of the author, which is myself. I did not utilized extensive editing because this is exactly how I want it to be read – like we all said it. So . . . if you’re a road scholar and a hard core English major keep your pens in your pocket and forget about it. I didn’t feel the need to edit anything. What you read in Italics and parentheses during the interviews will be me conversing to the person(s) being interviewed.

The entire purpose of this documentary is to inform people of the reality of being a caregiver of a spouse and or parent and the reaction from the extended family members such as children and or siblings. There are thousands of people dealing with people like Henry. It’s an extreme task. Before I continue, I’m apologizing for the grammar, misspelled words or any distasteful language (if any). If you dislike this documentary, I want to know about it. If you like it, I still want to know about it.

Now back to what I was saying. Instead of running from this situation, I begin to embrace it as I tried to deem on how I could help my parents cope. I was working on other projects (novels) that I desperately needed to complete for my own self-gratification. I know this was selfish of me, but . . . writing about my parents – concerning my father’s health being affected by a stroke and now battling with Alzheimer’s was difficult for me. It’s extremely difficult watching a person you love and considered your hero deteriorate mentally, physically and spiritually. Quite honestly, I was compelled to write this documentary. I wanted to complete this project for my mother and others that are challenged with the same or similar situation.

I remember the year and date, it happened: Saturday August 14th 1993. I can tell you what I had on because I was at work and it was on a Saturday when I received the news about my father. It’s funny how in certain situations you can remember the tiniest details. Anyway, I had on an olive green dress with magnolia flowers. My husband at that time came to my job to explain to me the news he received on my father. I was extremely upset; more like traumatized. My supervisor at that time, Dexter, told me to leave. I remember exactly how he said it. Go, just go, Dexter said. I dropped everything I literary mean everything I had in my hand went to my locker for my purse and left with my husband.

We rented a car and drove all the way to Leflore Hospital (in Greenwood Mississippi) to see my father. When I arrived to the hospital, my two younger brothers and mother was there. At that particular time, my parents had my son. They wanted to care for him keeping him from attending a daycare or sitter. They were very considerate of my well being and needs. I truly hate that this horrendous tragedy took place in my parent’s life.

My father’s illness affected the entire family. Not only did we feel depressed and sad over the entire situation, but we were helpless. There wasn’t anything that we could do to change the situation or make it better. My mother, Ruth was 57 years old when my father had a stroke. Ruth was vibrant and full of life. She had a garden every single year, a good memory, stamina, and was somewhat in good health, but now . . . her entire lifestyle changed because of my father’s (Henry) illness. The man you knew as your father is dead, my mother said. That man lying in that bed is a different man.

I didn’t understand what she meant until about four years later. Henry is not the same man that I know or any of us knows. Henry never utilized profanity in front of us. He detested anyone that utilized the world lie or liar. It’s amazing how dramatically he has changed after he had this stroke.

Henry had another stroke while he was in the hospital the night or morning after he was hospitalized from his first stroke. My brother, Paul explained in his words what happened that day. My mother said it was exactly 9:00am. My younger brother, Paul said he remembers the expression upon our father’s face. He appeared confused in Paul’s eyesight. His entire facial expression changed, explained Paul. I didn’t really understand a word he was saying at first. He sounded like he was babbling. I remember him asking Mom to fix him a bowl of oatmeal right before he collapsed. Everyone panicked. I kept telling Joseph and Mom to call the paramedics. No one would move. They were busy crying and screaming. I made the call. I wasn’t waiting another minute.

Looking back, I wished that I could have been there and maybe I could have persuaded my father to go to the hospital. Ruth said that Henry had been sick for weeks and refused to go to the hospital. He constantly complained of stomachaches, but refused to seek medical attention. Perhaps if I had known then what I know presently, I could have changed the outcome of the situation. I would have rushed to my parents home and hit my father on the head knocking him out cold; I could have taken him to the hospital while he was unconscious asking the doctor to test him for a possible stroke, but . . . who knew? No one knew his physical condition. Let me recant that statement. We knew that Henry had hypertension and diabetes. Of course it is a huge possibility that these diseases contributed to him having a stroke. Even though he took his medication for those diseases, it still did not protect him from having a stroke. Most frequently my mother heard him complain of a stomachache.

Henry was what you called a workaholic. He always found something to do; whether it was inside of the home or outside of home. His biggest problem that I saw he had was working outside in the heat and not realizing when to quit. We always told him to come inside because it was so hot. In Mississippi it could be ninety-nine degrees Fahrenheit, but the heat index felt like it was one hundred and five. Henry was also notorious for driving a car without air condition forty-five miles to visit his parents (when they were alive). I begin to think it was crazy. How can someone be so careless? Didn’t he care about his health at all?

Maybe he didn’t realize or thought about the consequences he would face if he were to become sick. No one ever thinks about the aftermath or considers what can happen. I suppose life is a gamble, you never know what the dice may role. Since Henry’s horrific downfall, I’ve been sort of health conscious. I became a vegetarian, and increased my exercise habits. I’ve also learned to relax more and do absolutely nothing on the days that I’m not working and for me that’s hard to do. I’ve also increased my knowledge on warning signs for a stroke and also begin reading different material on Alzheimer’s. Henry soon developed Alzheimer’s after constant seizures following his stroke. I asked Henry did he remember how he felt at the time he had a stroke. I smelt something burning, said Henry. I asked him what did he smell burning and his response was, I smelt me burning. I was befuddled by his remark; this made me even more curious and I begin to research the meaning of a stroke and what causes a stroke.

I read that a Stroke is a disease that affects the blood vessels that supply blood to the brain. A stroke occurs when a blood vessel that brings oxygen and nutrients to the brain bursts or is clogged by a blood clot or some other mass. Because of this rupture or blockage, part of the brain doesn’t get the blood and oxygen it needs. Deprived of oxygen, nerve cells in the affected area of the brain can’t work and die within minutes. And when nerve cells can’t work, the part of the body they control can’t work either. The devastating effects of a severe stroke are often permanent because dead brain cells aren’t replaced. I discovered that there are two types of main strokes. One is called the ischemic stroke that is caused by blockage