Love Impregnated by Lust Just Before the Blessing Comes

By Gloria K. Blayde

There is no available information at this time.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 30, 2009
• ISBN: 9781462821600

Book preview

LOVE IMPREGNATED BY LUST

PART I

CHAPTER ONE

Each day was a nightmare. Staring into the darkness of our small bedroom, I looked into the mirror. The reflection that appeared before me was not one I cared to entreat. I hated waking up in the mornings, knowing that the problem and unresolved issues would still be there.

The keys are rattling at the front door. I could hear footsteps coming into the kitchen. No sound from his lips. No hug! No good evening! No anything! Derrick Richland was a very stubborn man. He was always working and never had time to spend quality time with me. He came home each day in an irate way. Where did you put my grippers? he asked. What did you do with those screws? Genji, you’re always messing with my work tools. Leave my things alone!

He never had time to just sit down and talk with me, but he always criticized and complained.

Where are my work shoes? asked Derrick. Honey, I need to talk to you, I said. About what! he asked, I’ve got to go and get this car lined up. This man wants his vehicle by tomorrow. I’m in the process of rebuilding the transmission. I really need to discuss this matter with you, dear, I said. He quickly answered, I’ll talk to you tonight.

All I needed was an ear for me; someone to listen to me, to not just listen, but actually hear the things I had to say. Tonight will come and slowly fade away. He’ll wake up tomorrow and so will I, but not to communicate or talk like two sensible adults. Our relationship has become like rain clouds passing through a drought land.

I’m sure there is a relief when the clouds release its water. If Derrick Richland would spare a minute of his time to relate to me, my rain cloud would dissipate also. He was never wrong about anything. Let him tell it, he was always right. You never listen, he would always say. Your head is as hard as a brick, I shouted back to him. These were the kinds of conversations we engaged in on a daily basis. Days and nights would pass by without any real communication. My heart was so full of want. My soul so desperately needed to be delivered.

I loved Derrick since high school—we were high school sweethearts. He was my first love in every sense of the way. I’ll never forget the very first time I saw DR. It was two years before I actually started to date him. He was walking from the neighborhood community center with this girl, presumably his girlfriend. I looked up from my stretching position while participating in the tryout exercise for the cheerleaders of the junior high school. We all had to practice our backbends, cartwheels, splits, and the like. I saw this stunning guy with a clean-cut hairstyle, short sleeved tee shirt, and joggers.

He had such a marvelous body to be so young. It was unbelievable. I immediately told myself, He will be mine. That’s my husband. Even at the age of thirteen, speaking words without wavering or doubting can call one’s destiny into existence. I asked my girlfriends, Who is he? Where does he live? My family and I moved from Chicago because Daddy got hurt working on his job in the steel factory.

His leg would not allow him to work there any longer. Daddy got a piece of steel in his leg from a metal steel rack. The metal pierced the side of his leg and broke off inside it. When he realized that he was seriously injured, it was too late for him to receive workman’s compensation or benefits. We had to move back south; something I dreaded doing. Now I’ve been here in CETA Hills for several months, and this is my first time seeing DR. I must find the time to talk with him and find out all there is to know about him. Of course, I didn’t see him anymore for eight or nine months.

My girlfriends and I went to a party on the other side of town. Never did I expect to see Derrick there. It was so strange. The moment I came through the door, I could sense something was about to happen. Everyone was dancing, but I had gotten tired, so I sat on the sofa. I looked up, startled to see DR. I melted in my seat. He started to approach me, or so I thought, but before I knew it, I stuck my foot out into his pathway and he tripped and almost fell. Oh, excuse me, I begged, I am so sorry. That’s okay, he said. I’ll never forget the look we gave each other. I knew he didn’t have a chance with Boobsie, or should I say Boobsie didn’t have a chance against me. She had extremely large breasts, so I gave her the name Boobsie.

Later the next day, I found out Derrick was one of my classmate’s cousins. What a coincidence! We walk to school every day. He lives behind my house, said Sean Barkley. I’ve known Derrick all of my childhood days. Sean laughed after that remark. Well, well, Sean Barkley and Derrick Richland were first cousins.

Sean and I have been acquainted for years, and I never knew he had such a hunk for a cousin.

I saw Derrick periodically while passing to class, and I made it my business to speak to him each time I saw him. He eventually got the message and asked me out for Coke and burgers at the sundry stand. I wore a blue-and-white striped minidress with white sandals. You look very nice, Genji, said Derrick. Thank you, I replied. Derrick was very shy. Later I found out that he only wore long pants, no short pants, even though his thighs and legs were the perfect size for them. He had big stunning legs and nice thighs. His buttocks were perfect also, not to mention his chest, arms, triceps, and biceps. I later learned that Derrick did not work out of the gym. He was a mechanic. All of his masculine features came from working on automobiles. Derrick loved working on cars, and he knew how to fix almost everything—at such a young age too. He was two years older than me. He wasn’t a conversationist. He hardly said anything during the entire time we were eating burgers. I never realized how much of a problem this would be in the future although I knew that this man would definitely be my future husband.

Every day at school, we would sit in study hall together. I clipped his nails and made sure they were clean. He had such big hand. He was gentle and kind, and I guess that was the reason I fell in love with him. I’ll never forget how much the girls at school all went haywire over Derrick.

One day, I was walking down the stairway to class. This tall, very lanky girl began talking to me very rudely, making accusations concerning Derrick and me. I jumped to the defense. We almost tumbled down the stairs; when I looked up and saw Derrick walking toward me, I was relieved. He grabbed my arm and quietly said, What are you doing, Genji? Come on here before you get hurt. That was surely music to my ears. I wasn’t one to back down whenever anyone accused me of something falsely. I was the envy of all the girls. How did Genji capture such a hunk? was the question of the century. I guess this is one of my most susceptible traits. If I see something or someone I desire, I’ll go after it. To succeed is to conquer. Every weekend or should I say each Friday night, we went to the school’s football game. There were usually four to five city buses parked in front of the school building for us to ride. Derrick would come later in his cousin’s or brother’s car. I always rode the bus chartered by the school. We met at the football game. Usually, we spent the entire evening hugging each other and trying to keep warm. I tell you, those were the good ole days when Derrick and I could not get enough of each other’s company. We talked to each other every single day on the telephone. This was a must for the both of us. Sometimes, we had nothing to say or talk about. It made all the difference in the world just for us to call each other. His favorite music artist was Smokey Robinson and the Miracles. I loved the rapper of our time, Isaac Hayes.

Later, Derrick left high school, and I was left alone with one more year to complete. It was not the same anymore. I didn’t like coming to school because I knew I would not be able to talk or mingle with Derrick. This is how it was at any rate.

The time came for me to graduate. What an honor! I thought, I am finally getting my high school diploma. The night of graduation was great with the exception of Derrick coming in late, barely to see me walk across the stage to receive my award. Derrick and I were married the same year of graduation, three weeks before Christmas. Derrick was my first, in every sense of the way. I remembered in my junior and senior years in school, guys would lie and say they had slept with me, but Derrick Richland was my first heart and soul.

My mother was crazy about Derrick. She thought of him as her very own son. He called her Mom. We stayed with my parents during the first year of our marriage, but later I encouraged and persuaded Derrick to move. It was time for us to get our own place. He agreed. We moved into our own little apartment not far from my parents. I decorated it very well. It was a lovely home. We had saved up a bit of money, and this allowed us to do some things without being stressed-out due to a lack of income. Derrick believed in being financially independent. He always talked about owning his own business.

I was young and inexperienced. My desires and needs had to be taken care of when I wanted them and that was always now. He would always see to it that I received just that. Even though we both worked, we didn’t make a lot of money.

Derrick was a jack-of-all-trades. He did other types of work, and we lived pretty comfortable. We had two beautiful children, Ramil and Derrick Junior.

Derrick was very rarely at home. Every day, he was gone for long periods at a time. This became more frequently. Most of the time, I didn’t know where he was. He worked a lot too. His excuse for working all the time was to be able to give me all the things I wanted.

I tried to talk to him, but he had become irrational. Our conversations always ended up in an argument. No matter how hard I tried to make my husband happy or let him know that I was with him one hundred percent in all of his endeavors, it always ended up with me not understanding what he was saying or what was being said. Let Derrick tell it, I was the ignorant and illiterate one.

I often asked Derrick, Why do you ignore me? Why don’t you talk to me? I’m not a child, I am an adult. Most of the time Derrick would undermine and completely ignore me; nevertheless, I hung on to what little we had left of our marriage.

We lived together under the same roof, but our lifestyles were as different as night and day. Our arguments became more severe. He still refused to tell me of his whereabouts when he was not home. My life was miserable. I hated to argue in front of the children, but Derrick seemed to get a kick out of it. I found out later in life what it all meant. He wanted to be the hero and the good guy parent. I was the unfaithful one.

CHAPTER TWO

When I was younger, I always dreamed of getting married, having a family, cooking, cleaning—the works, for my family. I often thought of preparing dinner, and all the family members would sit around the table at dinnertime and tell about the things that occurred during the day. Oh, how wrong I was. We very rarely ate Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners together. Every holiday, the children and I would prepare big dinners, pies, cakes, turkey, hams, and such. Derrick was never there to help us celebrate. What had I gotten myself into?

One thing was for sure, our lovemaking was fantastic. Derrick always had time or saw to it that time was made for making love. Whenever we made love, I felt a sense of protection from harm or any danger. I enjoyed the intimacy that my husband and I shared at this given moment. Nothing else was important while we made love, but afterward Derrick was like a different man. He went back to his nonchalant attitude. Why do you treat me like a stranger after we make love? I asked Derrick. Am I not the woman you chose to spend the rest of your life with? He would look at me and say, Why don’t you stop complaining. I yelled, What do you mean by such a remark? He walked away and said nothing.

Before I got pregnant with Derrick Junior, I remembered so vividly the hurt I went through before conceiving. Derrick wasn’t ready for a second child, and I was more than ready, so I stopped taking my birth control. Derrick hit the ceiling. "I am not ready for another baby now. You can just go and