I Want! a Communication Toolkit: 25 Communication Tools - for Winning, Growing, and Smiling at Home, Play, and Business

By Joseph F. Knox

Communication is the single greatest skill you need for success. The best communicators win, the best communicators are at the top of any organization, and the best communicators lead the happiest lives. They know how to get what they want and they are confident in almost any situation. Why? What do they have that others lack?

I Want! A Communication Toolkit gives you the communication tools that are most responsible for success in everyday relationships and vital business alliances. This is your toolkit for better communication. It concisely describes specific tools that the most successful people use every day. With proactive choice and practice, you can master the tools and greatly improve your life. Read on, practice, and master.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 13, 2007
• ISBN: 9781462813780

Joseph F. Knox

Joseph Knox is an executive and personal communications coach. He has devoted his life to helping organizations and individuals improve their communications. He has worked with business, government, and nonprofit organizations, and has received national awards and recognition for his work.

Book preview

What’s In Your Toolkit?

A young man named Jonathan aspires to be a master mechanic.He accepts an entry-level job in a large repair shop and prepares for his fi rst day. Jonathan purchases a large toolkit into which he puts some basic tools, only the number he can afford. When he fi rst walks onto the job site, he carries his toolkit proudly, light though it is. Soon however, he notices that the older mechanics are very skilled and have much larger and visibly heavier toolkits. They even mock him for the lightness of his kit with statements like Is that thing empty? What’s in that box, your lunch? What kind of mechanic are you?

Jonathan remembered from his childhood that his Dad’s toolkit was so heavy that Jonathan could barely lift it. His toolkit is light, far from the bulk of his Dad’s or the others with whom he works. So, until the Jonathan could afford to buy new tools, he wrapped a couple of bricks in cloth and put them into the bottom of his toolkit. He could now walk with a heavy toolkit, and he was calm if others picked it up. Over the years, he gathered more tools and he eventually removed the bricks. Jonathan obtained the status of master mechanic and gained huge command of a wide range of tools.

For centuries, craftsmen and tradesmen have brought toolkits to their jobs. Even surgeons and dentists are keenly aware of the tools needed for their jobs. By definition, tools make jobs easier and are treasured, defended, and protected. Tools are like magic and we wonder how we ever worked without them.

So what about you? What’s in your toolkit? Do you even have one? What are the most important skills and tools needed for your job? If communication with others is critical for success, then what communication tools do you have at your command? Are they anything more than your ability to use a cell phone, email, the internet, and computer software? What about a job description asking you to work well with others, be a good team player, lead by example, communicate the goals of our company? What tools do you have for that? Where do you get those tools?

This is your communication toolkit. You can take it anywhere; physically, it is a small handbook which can become part of your mental and emotional wiring. But, like any tools, those in your communication toolkit take practice to master. With repeated use, you can become a truly great communicator. Read on, practice, and master!

Communication: The Single Greatest Factor for Success

Communication = skill. Today, communication is the single greatest skill you need for success. An idea may be pure genius, but success depends on execution, and execution depends on communication. The best communicators win, the best communicators are at the top of any organization, and the best communicators lead the happiest lives. Why? Because they know how to get what they want and they are confident in almost any situation.

This has always been the case. But what has changed over time is the way we communicate. In prior generations, to get what you wanted, aggression and intimidation were acceptable and prevalent. Aggression and intimidation required little beyond the basic tools of the caveman – the very big caveman or the caveman with the best weapons (tools of another kind).

Today, we have evolved and society has increasingly protected its members from aggression and intimidation. And it will continue to do so. Furthermore, it has been said that the essence of advanced civilization is knowing more and more about less and less. And so it goes with communication: as civilization advances, communication is one of the key skills about which you need to know more and more.

To get what you want today, you have to be an efficient navigator of conversation, and you often must fulfill both the tangible and intangible needs of those with whom you interact. Simply offering the most logical proposal rarely guarantees what you want, as there are countless complicated intangible needs and competing agendas that drive the people with whom we work and live.

So, if communication = skill, then what tools do you provide for yourself? What tools do you provide for your children?

Think about how children develop their communication skills and what we teach them. Babies start out pointing, grunting, and crying about what they want. They progress to using single words to accompany their pointing around the age of two (Milk! along with a pointed finger towards the refrigerator). By the age of three, they say I want milk in the form of an order to their humble servants, called parents. By the age of four, most teach children to ask politely for things rather than give orders. Once children go to kindergarten, most parents claim success, abandon further communication training, and leave it to the schools. The schools teach diction, grammar, and even a certain amount of political sensitivity, but they lack any instruction on the specific proven communication tools that are discussed in this book. These tools are essential for success.

Too many of us glean our communication training from television. If not the latest soap opera or police show, then it is the plethora of so-called reality TV shows that dominate the screen. Think about it: reality TV is almost exclusively about communication. And the lesson you or your children learn about the right way to communicate in business, on an island, or on some mission, comes directly from the likes of Donald Trump and his show The Apprentice. Great. Millions of Americans are led to believe that it is acceptable to have screaming matches in the boardroom and on their project teams. And they get to see The Donald openly encourage these verbal brawls. So, maybe you are one of the smart ones who realize that what is good for TV viewing is rarely good in real life. Unfortunately, too many think it is reality, and the way to true success.

Communication is the most challenging and frustrating, yet rewarding, thing we do every day. It is how we get what we want, regardless of how well we do it. Who knew the most basic act of talking could be so hard to do well?

Inevitably, when people, couples, or groups find themselves having trouble, they reflect, call on counselors, or consult with other professionals. The conclusions from these encounters are usually grouped under one statement: You need to improve your communication.

What is it about the best communicators that makes them so successful? What do they have that others lack? In the modern era, we know that the highest levels of success and happiness are only marginally correlated to the things which most of us openly covet, intelligence, physical beauty, or physical prowess. The missing link to success and happiness is communication skill. Communication = skill. Skills are best developed and improved by tools, and practice, practice, practice using those tools.

So, will this book make you happier and more successful? The answer is no. You have to want to change. Besides, most people would rather be correct than happy and successful. Most people truly prefer the status quo to change of any kind. If I give you the magic elixir of life, and you put it on a shelf, then I assume you like being sick. It is as simple as that. The tools are here for you in this book, but you have to choose to use them.

This book sets forth the communication tools that are most essential for success, in either everyday relationships or in vital business alliances. This is your handbook for better communication. It concisely describes specific tools that the most successful people use every day. With proactive choice and practice, you can master the tools and greatly improve your life.

For the purposes of this book, a conversation is defined as either verbal or written communication. In today’s world, you routinely undertake both to get what you want.

Verbal communication happens over the telephone (land line or cell phone and either voice message or live), in casual conversations in hallways or by the water cooler, and in meetings designed to communicate important messages. Written communication is also a big part of most people’s day, and includes text messaging, instant messaging, and email, as well as informal and formal letters. In this handbook all are considered and referred to as conversations.

Your communication toolkit includes 15 Basic Tools and 10 Power Tools. Without further delay, read on, practice, and master!

Communication Toolkit

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