Soft Skills for Hard Times: A Handbook for High Achievers

By Ivory Dorsey

Soft Skills for Hard Times is a hand book for the over achiever. It is written for people who understand that when competence is present, it is only the ticket to the game; it does not make one a player. It is a book for those who would invest resources in getting good and no time in getting chosen. It is a book for the potential high performer who constantly wonders why since they are so smartwhy is it that the seemingly average performer keeps getting ahead. These are hard timeswe need skills to navigate the course.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 29, 2004
• ISBN: 9781462800032

Ivory Dorsey

Ivory is a Speaker, Trainer, Coach, and Facilitator. As an independent contractor since 1984, she understands the workplace from the outside in. She has informed, inspired, and ignited audiences world-wide in a multitude of industries. She has synthesized her experiences as both employee and entrepreneur into a powerful resource for businesses and organizations. A renowned Professional Speaker, Ivory does not refer to herself as a motivational speaker. She knows motivation is an inside job. She believes she is a messenger for todays changing world in general, and the workplace in particular. To learn more about Ivory, go to www.ivorydorsey.com

Book preview

SOFT SKILLS

FOR

HARD TIMES

A Handbook For High Achievers

Ivory Dorsey

Copyright © 2004 by Ivory Dorsey.

ISBN:           Softcover           1-4134-5237-X

ISBN:           Ebook                9781462800032

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including

photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval

system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

24299

A Dedication

This book is dedicated to my deceased son Edward Douglas Dorsey.

As I look back over the short time we had together, I now recognize that he understood the use of soft skills better than anyone I have ever known.

Living with a mother driven by over-achievement, who was always multi-tasking at home and at work; he had to apply soft skills in order to navigate positive results within our relationship. He demonstrated to me that soft skills are survival skills for life; both personal and business.

It is through him that I learned the hard lesson: to adapt is to survive. As a result of his life and painfully through his death; it is a lesson that will live on in my heart forever. He is gone but will never be forgotten.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter One

An Introduction to Survival Soft Skills

Chapter Two

Surviving in the Zone of Contention

Chapter Three

IT IS IN YOU AND IT IS UP TO YOU! A Candid Look at Company Loyalty

Chapter Four

Leadership: the Grandparent of All Soft Skills

Chapter Five

Endorse and be endorsed

Chapter Six

Responsibility and Accountability

Chapter Seven

Entitlement, Empowerment, and Esteem

Chapter Eight

Risk and Resilience

Chapter Nine

Sales, Showmanship, and Self-Promotion

Chapter Ten

Harvest and Harness Contacts (Networking)

Chapter Eleven

Involve, Inspire, and Ignite: Motivation

Chapter Twelve

Perform as a Team of WE

Conclusion

Author’s Biography

Survival in the workplace is like survival in the sports arena.

It’s like first and goal every day.

Introduction

Before going any further, I want to shed light on two age-old questions: What are soft skills? Why soft skills training? Put simply, soft skills are performance enhancers. It is soft-skill training that procures, protects, and preserves the investment of hard-skill efforts and training. Soft-skill acumen cushions the way to success.

On Super Bowl Sunday, 2004, I watched the interview of some of the nation’s top quarterbacks. They each had children diagnosed with debilitating and life-threatening illnesses. The point was made that even the chosen can’t escape the fate of these diseases. One of the quarterbacks described the feeling of praying for a miracle after the doctors gave up on his son. While he and his wife never gave up, he said it was like fourth and goal every day.

My mind wondered off to the area of soft skills, and, in a way, that is the unknown condition of many in the clinches of change. The urgency is a mainstay, and the right call changes daily. The determining factor as to whether the right play is made at the fourth and goal position depends on the ability to access answers and implement the current solution.

This book goes beyond the traditional soft-skills review. One could call these skills the lay of the land. These are the quirks that go unwritten and un-discussed but act as mine-fields in the workplace. It is widely believed that you can’t miss what you can’t measure. While you cannot conclusively measure soft-skills training, you can certainly measure unexplained losses or unexplained gains. They are usually the result of damaged or enhanced relationships and perceptions. Sometimes they look like miracles, and sometimes they look like curses. In either case, somewhere, something unplanned went very well or very bad.

That something can usually be described as a modern-day miracle or soft skill. No one looks a gift horse in the mouth. Imagine, a presidential candidate being declared unelectable because of temperament! How does one get his arms around that?

These are the areas impacted by awareness through the use of soft-skill training. It is appropriate at this juncture to point out that soft skills don’t always come naturally to all people. For some people it requires a great deal of restraint. It is the proverbial choice between two evils: restraint or underperformance. High achievers usually decide; whatever it takes, these skills must be developed.

If we are to gain the support and influence of people, we must do what endears people to grant influence and support. The golden rule says: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Survival soft skills say: Do unto others as they want to be done unto.

People, their hearts, and their minds impact more than the eyes can see and certainly more than can be measured. It’s true; you can’t measure the effectiveness of soft-skills training in a tangible way. However, consider this: the definition of motivation is, the difference between what one can do and what one won’t do. Soft skills are designed to motivate people to do what they can in your behalf. Throughout the book, I will use survival soft skills and soft skills interchangeably. It is my belief that perhaps, there is no difference.

The Soft-Skill Disconnect

Imagine investing thousands of dollars to train an airline pilot. This is very technical and measurable training. They completed the training, passed all of the tests, and did a wonderful demonstration on how to fly the aircraft.

However, when it is time to fly he refuses to do so. Why? Because he does not like his peers; he does not trust the flight attendants; he does not understand why he needs to socialize with any of them. He feels they do not respect him, and he feels they don’t like him either. He believes that as long as he can fly his aircraft, there is no need to interact with others. He does not understand how and why he should attempt to build relationships with people he does not like, or people who he feels do not like or respect him.

He has the training; it is all done and measured. This is a soft-skill disconnect. He does not understand teamwork—a soft skill. Now what?

As I write this book, I find myself reminiscing about the many people who are inadvertently displaced because they had no understanding of the impact of soft skills or the lack of soft skills. Worse, they had no one to alert them of the consequences.

Over the years, I have interviewed and talked with scores of people who left their assignments, not because of the work, but because of the people where they worked. These people travel from place to place only to continue to recreate the same scenario. Companies lose millions in recruitment, retraining, and retention because of it.

While many people are justified in their frustration, the solution is not to disconnect from the environment, but to master the environment. Some people never realize that it is themselves they need to manage, not the workplace, and certainly not others in the workplace. We cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves.

I have witnessed so