Identity Crisis

By A’Renee

Having my first child at the age of thirteen, and four by eighteen I never knew me. My identity was birthed from labels, the roles I played, the opinions of others and what I thought of myself based on those opinions. I nurtured and cultivated my children and everyone else in my life, but never myself. It took me years to recognize that I was lost, that I as a woman never nurtured me, never cultivated the essence of the woman. My perception became my reality, and this was the truth I walked in, forever searching but never finding. This is my story of how the Crisis began, the journey to find, the time know, the ability love and accept ARenee.
Identity Crisis

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: May 9, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524690106

A’Renee

Angela Watkins writing under the pseudo name A’Renee was born and raised in Colorado is the Founder of Daughters of Destiny, Destined for Excellence. Mother of four adult children, and seven grandchildren, spending time with family is her passion. She is currently working on her B.A in Psychology, with plans to go into counseling. A’Renee is currently writing her next book to be released soon.

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© 2017 BY A’Renee. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 05/09/2017

ISBN: 978-1-5246-9011-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-9010-6 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1:   Little Girl Lost

Chapter 2:   Inferior by Comparison

Chapter 3:   Navigation of Thought

Chapter 4:   Affirmations vs Validations

Chapter 5:   When She Loves

Chapter 6:   The Art of Letting Go

Chapter 7:   Lost in Love

Chapter 8:   Metamorphosis

Chapter 9:   The Sista-Hood

Chapter 10:   The Rib Shack

Chapter 11:   The Queendom

Chapter 12:   The Luffa

Chapter 13:   Precious Cargo

Rise of the Phoenix

Acknowledgments

You are my greatest gift and my greatest accomplishment, there is no me without you. I love you with every fiber of my being, you still take my breath away.

Shawn, Mario, Amber, Chris, Karina and Thea

(Grandma’s Pride Sydney, Na’Jae, Shawn Jr. Sakiya, Jaidyn, Jordynn, Chyna, Genoa)

She who created me, who imparted the class, the sass and the sash-shay. Who epitomized Proverbs 31 Helen Elaine, rest in Heaven mom I owe it all to you. To my family, I thank you for all your support and love for me, Nette, Meshia, Anthony, with every hug I feel mom’s love, it is through us she lives on. I love the way we love, we three Queens and the King. Thank you Poppi and mommi for your support, FeFe what can I say, the intercessor to the intercessor. Thomas Lockhart the greatest Artist I know, thank you for your time, talent and vision for the cover of Identity Crisis. I’m ready for our next project. My every Friday crew my sissy’s nephew’s, niece’s, and cousins (Nette, Missy, Nycci, Sean Jr, Shay, Enjoli, Courtni, Amber Cayti, Damian, Von,) who sit at my feet and soak up the wisdom thanks for being my sounding boards. The Sista-Hood, Queen Shelia, and my lifer DC (Deb) love you all. And to my muse’s Mario and Nycci (BFF Beverly), the endless conversations that sparked many late nights of writing, thank you for being you.

Introduction

As women, we play many roles, daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, some of us have the misfortune of playing the dual role of mother and father. Within the roles are many hats that are often shifted, but never removed, cook, maid, counselor, doctor, chauffeur, loan officer, caregiver, life coach and so on. All too often we get lost behind the role, and lose sight of the woman and forget our identity. What ultimately happens is we become the role we play and that is what we nurture and not the woman, we introduce ourselves as the daughter of, the wife of, the mother of. For years, my identity was Helens daughter, Nettes sister, Cams mom (Chris, Amber, Mario, Shawn). I never knew me apart from the people or the role, I nurtured the role, the people and never the woman. I lost sight of, or shall I say I never had sight of who I was as a woman so it was easy to take on the persona of someone else…. Me, the me who was defined by the roles I played and the opinion of others. My identity was not lost later in life, I didn’t get lost shuffling a husband, kids and a job. Truth is, there was no husband or job, and the kids came when I was just a kid so the only thing that was being shuffled was the kids and my peace of mind. So, trust me when I say, the thought or the knowledge that there was an identity to be found never entered my mind. It all started with the stroke of a luffa lol, yes sugga a luffa, you’ll hear about that later. This is my testimony, my journey, my quest to find me, to know me and to love me. How I evolved from the caterpillar to the butterfly, the metamorphosis from Angie to Angela the woman who is A’Renee.

Little Girl Lost

As a little girl paper dolls were my thing I don’t know why to this day I like them much more than Barbie, I just did, there was a bookstore on