Programmer's Gambit

By R. Richard

I then get called in to talk to four FBI people.
They’re very suspicious. The lead guy says, “We checked out your wild story. Amazingly enough, we found a few things that support your theory. We now have Dave and Fifi at the Mexico City airport with a few million dollars in US currency, usable almost anywhere in the civilized world. Now what?”
I say, “Dave is too clever to fly to where he wants to go. He also has quite a bit of fancy jewelry that Fifi stole from the drug dealer. They go where they can sell the fancy jewelry. A good place to start in South America is the country where they mine the best emeralds in the world. In all probability, you can check there and see if the jewelry has been bought.”
The FBI guy says, “Actually, you amaze me. We have done some preliminary work and there is a nice collection of fancy jewelry available in a South American nation. We have an agent in line to examine the stuff, but it’s likely that it’s what you claim. Now what?
I say, “Dave and Fifi are on the ground in South America, of which I know very little. They want to go somewhere anonymously. How do they go, remembering that at least Dave can speak fluent Spanish?”
The FBI guy says, “There are a couple of ways. They probably wouldn’t want to fly, even with false names it would be too easy to trace. They could go by rail or they could go by bus, pay cash and leave no tracks.”
I ask, “What if they have to cross a few national borders?”
The FBI guy says, “A few bribes and they’re past the borders with no record. South America isn’t generally an area of very rich people. Border security isn’t tight and a little cash money can grease the way past the guards.”
I say, “Dave and Fifi get to where they want to be. They want the good life. There’s only one place that they reasonably go.”
The FBI guy says, “How can you be sure that there is only one place?”
I say, “Dave and Fifi lived in San Diego. San Diego is a nice place to live. It’s a bit isolated and the job and/or business market isn’t first rate. However, one thing is the best in the United States and maybe in the world, at least among the best in the world. Do you know what that is?”
The FBI guy says, “Educate me.”
I say, “San Diego, in a typical year has day after day of late spring or early fall weather. The mornings are just cool enough and the afternoons are just warm enough. Do you know where you can find that kind of climate in a big city?”
There’s an FBI lady sitting in the background and she’s now grinning from ear to ear. She waits for the guy I’m talking to to guess and when he doesn’t she finally stands up and says, “Santiago, Chile!”
I say, “Of course, one of the very few areas of Mediterranean climate outside of the Mediterranean and the only such area in South America! There are other areas with Mediterranean climate but they don’t work either because they would check new immigrants too closely, they’re located in a war zone or they require a different language.”
The lady walks over to the head FBI guy, holds out her hand and says, “Pay up, sucker!”
The head FBI guy sadly shakes his head and says, “Live and learn.” He then pulls out his wallet and pays the lady a $20 bill.
The head FBI guy says, “Okay, the guy’s in Santiago Chile, a major city. He speaks fluent Spanish and he can fit in. Assuming, just assuming, he’s in Santiago, Chile how do we find him?
I say, “You probably don’t find him in Santiago, Chile.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: R. Richard
• Release date: Sep 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005723149

R. Richard

I'm the co-author, with Sunset Thomas, of Anatomy of An Adult Film.I have 48 novels and over 299 short stories currently published.I spent my early years in the part of Los Angeles known as the South Central. I was known as Whi' Boy, which was sufficient to identify me in that place. I'm a skilled Kung Fu player, using a system that I learned from a Korean I knew only as 'Pak.' It would be easier to tell you the places that Pak wasn't wanted by the police, rather than the places where he was wanted by the police. Pak's Kung Fu system, augmented by some bits and pieces from some Chinese practitioners is quick and effective, or I wouldn't be alive today.My early education was mostly obtained by stealing books from the public library (I always returned them and the Librarian even began to provide me with reading lists.) I did go to high schools, but I never really learned anything there. I eventually graduated from the University of California at Los Angeles, UCLA, with a degree in mathematics.I work as a Systems Analyst and also make a part of my living as a professional gambler (legal in Nevada.) I write science fiction and erotica. My published novels are:Anatomy of An Adult Film (With Sunset Thomas)1. Second Chance: God Killer2. Second Chance: Sky Pirate3. Second Chance: Scroll Seeker4. Second Chance: King of The Islands5. Second Chance: King of Zaya6. Second Chance: Duke of Averon7. Second Chance: King of Golomon8. Second Chance: King Of The Sky9. Second Chance: Warlord of Ifrequeh10. Second Chance: King of Ariby11. Second Chance: King of Mesodania12. Second Chance: King of Avuls13. Second Chance: King of Kemet14. Second Chance: King of Zorran15. Second Chance: King of Two Worlds16. Second Chance: King of Averon17. Second Chance: King's Duties18. Second Chance: King of The New WorldAdventurer: Simulation ProblemAdventurer: Pannar ProblemA Programmer's GambitAmateur StripperBeach MurdersBondage HouseCorporate Sex SlavesFriday NightGo Naked In The SoftwareGrasshopper WinterInvoluntary NudeLayoffNot A HeroPirates of The KeysSummer of SexThe LakeThe Last Moon DanceThe Nude Adventures of Plain JaneThe Secret Life of Wanda WilsonTails of the Pussycat LoungeTo Keep A JobTopless RestaurantToy WhoresVix: The MarineWayward BoyShort Stories:A Christmas Visit

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Programmer's Gambit

By R. Richard © 2021

Chapter 1: Not A People Person

I’m a computer programmer. I’m as good as anybody I have ever met at programming computers and a lot better than most. What I’m not good at is dealing with people.

One day, in a desperate attempt to get out of a terrible job situation, I wind up across a desk from one Dave Champion, in a job interview.

Dave says, You have a good background in defense programming and the kind of skill set we’re looking for. You have significant recent experience in the areas we need. However, you have a reputation for not being able to deal with people.

I say, Mr. Champion, over the past several years I have worked for any number of operations here in San Diego. Thus, I have worked with at least some of the programmers you currently have on staff. A careful man, such as yourself, has therefore checked with your staff and interviewed the programmers with whom I have worked in the past. Since you have interviewed the programmers with whom I have worked, they have told you that I can work with people. Thus, you already know I can work with people. It puzzles me as to why you’re asking me about my ability to work with people.

Dave pauses and looks carefully at me. He then says, Yes, the programmers you have worked with in the past say that you’re good and that you can work with people. However, the managers you have worked for say that you’re good but that you can’t work with people.

I ask, Are you then interviewing me for a manager job, where I’ll need to work with other managers or a programmer job where I’ll need to work with other programmers?

Dave smiles briefly and says, A programmer job where you’ll need to work with other programmers. Apparently your inability to work with managers won’t be a problem here. However, why is it that you seem to have an inability to work for a lot of managers?

I say, You’ll note, in my resume, that in addition to programming, I have also sold a lot of programming work, to the military. I did that sales work by patiently explaining to military officers how I could solve their problems and then by defending my sales pitch to the military technical guys. The average manager can make a sales pitch to a military officer, however, he can’t defend his sales pitch to the military technical guys. If my method of selling ever catches on, there’ll be a lot of former managers out of work and a lot of articulate programmers moving up into manager’s slots. I suspect that the managers have arrived at the same conclusion. That may explain the hostility of the managers that I previously worked under.

Dave chuckles, You know, that just might explain some of your problem with your previous managers. I used to be a programmer myself and I can see maybe a bit of the situation, from the inside.

The interview then continues for a while. However, it has become clear to me that Dave has to have my skill set to get at least some of his work done. In addition, my skill level will overcome any reservations he has about my supposed inability to work with other people. If I don’t screw up, I have the job! I make damn sure I don’t screw up.

Finally we get to talking about salary. I go all the way to asking for a second bowl of gruel and it sells!

At the end of my interview, Dave makes me a job offer and I accept.

I resign from my current job. I’m careful to keep my resignation professional and not burn any bridges. Well, I do burn the bridge to my current manager, but that bridge was burnt a long time ago.

I go to work for Dave Champion and do that which I do. I do the work that I’m assigned. I also help the other programmers, only at their request, to solve difficult problems. The junior guys think I’m a great guy, however, the senior programmers begin to complain to Dave that I’m doing something wrong.

Dave calls me in and tells me, I’m getting some complaints from the senior programmers about your work.

I ask, Exactly what sort of complaints?

Dave says, Apparently the other senior programmers don’t think you should be involving yourself with the junior programmers.

I say, Dave, I do the work you assign me. My work is good work and I know it’s good work, because it has to pass peer review and then Configuration Control Board review. When my work is delivered, it works as advertised and the customer is happy. I also help other programmers, mostly junior programmers, but only when they ask me for the help. I’m a better programmer than the guys asking me for help and that’s obvious. I haven’t made any kind of fuss about the help I give or the obvious ranking it gives my skill. It would appear that some of your senior people are worried about the obvious ranking it gives my skill. Given the situation, what would you suggest that I do?

Dave thinks for a minute and says, I would suggest that you continue to do what you’re doing, without discussing this meeting with anyone. I told the complainers to quit their bitching and get back to work.

I say, Good, that’s what I’ll do.

I go back to work, I continue to do my assigned work and a bit more. One other thing I do is to continue to work out after work.

I was an athlete in high school and a pretty good one. I played three sports and even won a couple of league championships as a track and field competitor. Unfortunately, I wasn’t good enough and also not big enough enough to earn a college athletic scholarship. During my college days, I grew to six feet two inches tall and got a lot stronger. However, the magic time for a college athletic scholarship had passed and I didn’t have the time to try to walk on to earn a place in an athletic team at the major university I attended.

I did continue to work out, to keep in shape. I prefer to learn things rather than just run around a track or strain at weights. Thus, I took up Kung Fu and got pretty good at it. Even after I graduated from college and started to work, I kept up my Kung Fu practice.

However, looking back, I can see that the Kung Fu thing is a continuation of a problem that I’ll always have. I’m not a people person and I don’t do well with things where people interaction is a key. I do get along very well with the guys who I play Kung Fu with, but they’re mostly 18 or 19-year-old guys who’ll never advance my cause socially. Unfortunately the only ‘solution’ to the problem is for me to try to be someone other than who I am. I may not be all that good at people skills, but trying to be someone other than who I am will lead only to disaster.

Chapter 2: Mystery Man

Dave Champion is, like me, not really a people person. He doesn’t have the problem to the same degree that I do, but dealing with people is obviously not really his thing.

Dave deals very well with the programmers who work for him. He’s a former programmer and understands some of the problems that a programmer faces in the course of daily work. He can counsel, motivate and even discipline programmers quite well. However, he doesn’t do all that well interacting with upper management. However, his skill at running the programming department more than makes up for any lacks he has in the interpersonal skills area.

Dave is exactly the guy I need to work for. He keeps the imbeciles off me and lets me do my work. Without a lot of hindrance from the politicians at work, I’m able to turn out the kind of product that my company needs to survive and prosper and I even get to shine a bit in the process.

Not only do I do my work, I also help other programmers when they get stuck on a problem. This last is a very dangerous situation. I can obviously lead programming efforts and this puts me in competition with the political people who probably can’t really lead a programming effort, but can kiss the ass of top management better than I can.

However, Dave keeps the politicians off me, to the extent practical, and we both prosper to some degree.

It’s only later that I realize that I know almost nothing about Dave Champion the man, even if I probably know more about the man than anyone else in the company.

Dave knows about the San Diego pro sports teams, the Chargers and the Padres. Dave knows exactly the information about the Chargers or Padres that someone would get by reading the sports headlines and the lead paragraphs. If we have football pick ‘em contest, Dave throws in his dollar and submits his picks. Dave’s picks are always the favorites, right out of the sports section rankings. Well Dave always picks the Chargers, the home town team. However, it’s obvious to me that Dave doesn’t really have any favorite football team. If we have a world series pool, Dave throws in his dollar and submits his guess, however he never really follows the games, other than to be