Gertrude, Gumshoe: S'more Murder: Gertrude in South Dakota, #1

By R.E. Merrill

Gertrude is back!

 

After being thrown in the clink for private investigating without a license, she's fled the state to go where her talents will be more appreciated: South Dakota.

 

She has big plans to set up shop, but an injury halts her journey shortly after crossing The Sunshine State's state line. She and Calvin are forced to hole up in a struggling campground, and when Gertrude finds the body of the campground owner, she is certain the man has been murdered.

 

She is the only one who is certain of this. Can she convince the sheriff that there's been a crime? Can she convince the good people of South Dakota that she is a talented investigator they should want to keep around?

 

(The Gertrude in South Dakota Series is a continuation of the Gertrude, Gumshoe Cozy Mystery Series.)

• Language: English
• Publisher: New Creation Publishing
• Release date: Sep 27, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201500528

Book preview

Prologue

Calvin tried to ignore the commotion down the street. He thought it probably had something to do with Gertrude, and he didn’t want to get involved.

Not that he didn’t enjoy Gertrude’s company. He did. It surprised him how much he enjoyed it, but lately she’d been driving him batty with her incessant South Dakota babble.

The woman was obviously not going to move halfway across the country to open her own private detective agency, but no one could seem to convince her of that. He wasn’t the only one who had tried. He’d asked G, the pastor of the church Gertrude frequented once every few months, to talk to her, and G had also tried—also to no avail.

The woman wouldn’t listen to reason. She had decided. She was moving to South Dakota.

He would have been offended by her willingness to leave him if he thought there was a chance she could actually pull it off.

But she couldn’t. How could a woman with no money, no driver’s license, and twenty-eleven cats get herself to South Dakota?

The commotion grew louder. He was tempted to get up and look out the window, but he sat firm. He turned the volume up on his episode of Bonanza. He liked this episode. It was the one where the Cartwrights helped the Pony Express. Calvin had always wished he could have ridden for the Pony Express, and he tried to focus on the familiar story, but when he heard actual cheering down the street, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He went to the far end of his trailer and pulled back his bedroom curtain.

What on earth?

Trucks and camera crews crowded Gertrude’s small lawn, which she had filled with boxes and tables. What was she up to? An impromptu lawn sale? That didn’t explain the cameras.

He should go out and investigate.

No, he shouldn’t. Whatever she was up to, it would be embarrassing, and he didn’t want to be embarrassed.

But something could be wrong. He should go check.

But she would find a way to make this about moving to South Dakota, and that would drive him nuts.

Something could be wrong.

Fine! He let the curtain fall shut and headed for his door.

As soon as he stepped outside, the noise doubled. Whatever this was, the dozens of onlookers were excited about it. There was lots of laughter and yukking it up. Maybe this wouldn’t be about South Dakota after all.

He wasn’t the only one heading toward the commotion. There was a drifting convergence from all directions. There were even cars parked along Route 150. For the first time he saw men in black T-shirts and black shorts milling about the crowd, gently herding people back from Gertrude’s lawn. They weren’t trying to get rid of people, only keep them from getting too close to Gertrude. Or so it seemed. Why dozens of people—and camera crews—wanted to get too close to Gert remained to be seen.

He did not want to have any sort of encounter with an ego-inflated wannabe security guard a quarter of his age, so he headed for the back of her trailer to then discreetly slide out along the front of it.

His plan almost worked. He had just reached the front corner of the trailer when one of those security kids said, Excuse me? Sir!

Pretending not to hear him, Calvin scanned the lawn for Gertrude, found her orange hair bobbing around, and made a beeline.

Sir! the child called again.

Calvin kept going.

Gertrude turned toward the shouting guard, saw Calvin, and smiled broadly.

Let him through, boys! she said with an absurd level of authority. He’s my partner!

The man she’d been talking to looked at Calvin in surprise as the cameras swung his way. He was annoyed by the cameras, but he was mostly staring at the man she was talking to. Calvin knew him ... knew him well ... but couldn’t place that face ... Calvin gasped. As he realized who the man was, Calvin swung his eyes toward the trucks. Sure enough, emblazoned on the side was all the information he needed, if he’d only looked there first.

’Merican Diggers. Plastered on the side of every truck.

And the man talking to Gertrude was none other than Matt Wild. And if Matt Wild were here, that meant ... Calvin scanned the lawn. Sure enough, Fred Firtz was ten feet away holding one of Gertrude’s knickknacks up to his eyes.

Gertrude was waving Calvin over, and he realized his feet hadn’t moved lately. He was frozen. How on earth had she managed to get ’Merican Diggers to Mattawooptock, Maine? Mattawooptock was a lot of things, but it had never been accused of being on the way to anywhere.

Sure, Gertrude had a lot of junk, but it wasn’t worth anything, or else she wouldn’t be living in an old trailer and coming over to eat Calvin’s food.

Or would she?

On second thought, that might be just what she’d been doing for the last year.

Calvin remembered the multi-thousand-dollar salt and pepper shaker set that Gertrude had just happened to have on hand ready to sell when she needed to hire a lawyer to defend one of her murder suspects. Just how many other treasures had Gertrude been hoarding?

If there was more than zero, she owed him some grocery money.

Calvin’s feet finally started moving—slowly.

Matt flashed him a bright, white, made-for-TV smile. Hi there. I didn’t realize Gertrude had a partner!

Oh well, he’s more like an assistant, but yes, he’ll be going to South Dakota with me.

Calvin managed to not roll his eyes. He was still on camera.

Matt stuck out his hand. You must be a brave man!

Calvin didn’t know what he meant. Brave to move to South Dakota? If that’s what he meant, that was beyond insulting. It didn’t take any amount of courage to relocate. Or had he meant that he was brave to partner with Gertrude? If it was the latter, then that was an astute observation.

Fred came toward them, far too involved with the knickknack he was holding to pay any attention to Gertrude’s brave partner.

I’ll give you a hundred dollars for this.

Calvin jumped. A hundred dollars? Upon closer look he saw that it was a toy rabbit.

It had a string dangling out of its butt.

It’s worth twice that, and you know it, Gertrude said.

Fred looked tired. Apparently, this wasn’t the first time she’d haggled with him. I might be able to sell it for more than a hundred, but I need to make a profit or there’s no point in me buying it.

Gertrude studied the toy. Or whatever it was. Calvin had seen this look before. She hated to part with her preciouses. But it poops candy.

Fred raised an eyebrow. Do you have any of the candy?

She shook her head sadly. No, I ate it.

Fred laughed. I hope not recently?

Gertrude looked embarrassed.

This toy is over fifty years old.

Gertrude looked at Calvin. If he’d had to guess, she had eaten the candy that morning before she’d put the toy on the table.

If you had the candy, I’d pay extra.

Hang on. I’ll go look inside. Usually I have backups. She grabbed her walker and turned to go.

Fred chuckled and shook his head.

Matt watched her go. Quite a character. How long have you known her?

A few years.

And how are you feeling about this impending move?

Calvin shrugged. I’ve been under the assumption that she’d never be able to afford it.

Fred chuckled dryly. Don’t be too sure. She’s already taken a lot of my money.

Gobsmacked, Calvin looked at the tables and boxes spread out around him. This stuff is actually worth something?

Matt nodded. Some of it. She’s quite the collector. Seems she’s been at it for years.

Gertrude came back carrying a small box. She shook it to show it had something in it and then held it out toward Fred, who laughed with delight. He took it, opened it, let some small brown balls roll out into his hand, and then looked up at her. All right, throw in the candy, and I’ll go two hundred.

With the candy it’s three.

His eyes widened in bewilderment. The candy is worthless without the toy!

"Not to me. I thought it was