Be Aware: Strategies for Keeping You and Your Loved Ones Safe

By Brenda Moxley CPP, Melisa Neuman and Robin Jacobs

Be Aware offers practical solutions so you can take control of your own personal safety and security. You will learn unique strategies for keeping you and your loved ones safe in the face of a crisis. Turn your fear into empowerment as you train yourself to trust your instincts and proactively identify and avoid harmful situations before they happen. Learn little known methodologies criminals and law enforcement use along with tips and tricks to avoid risk and combat victimization. Gain an understanding of body language and discover how to cultivate a survivor's mindset to empower you and take control of your own well-being. Hone your situational awareness and develop greater confidence to build a resilient mindset and survival state of mind. Identify weapons of opportunity and effective personal safety gadgets. Recognize and avoid frauds and scams as well as online sexual exploitation and other cybercrimes.

Be Aware was written by three women with experience including a retired FBI Special Agent-Executive, Security Expert and Founder of MoXenial Consulting, an Entrepreneur and Business Community Leader, and an Educator certified in trauma recovery. Information in this book is supported with scenarios and stories that illustrate the principles of being the victor, not the victim.

Crime knows no boundaries and does not discriminate. This book is a must read for anyone who has ever worried about being victimized. Observations are culled from research, interviews, interrogations, and personal experience. All information is presented in a clear and concise manner. Finally, a book that offers practical advice so you can take control of your own personal safety and security!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: May 25, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098367992

Book preview

Chapter 1

Planning

When Robin was in boarding school, she had no personal safety plan. One day, while on vacation, she went to meet her parents at their hotel and got onto the elevator. When the doors opened at the next floor, a large man entered, looked at her, then lowered his head. When the doors closed, he threw himself at her and punched her in the face, then proceeded to beat her in the silence of the elevator. She could not scream, but she held on to her life.

When the doors opened on the next floor, he darted out. Robin tried to feel herself in her body to make sure she was still there. She was alone in the elevator, but she was still there. The doors closed, and the elevator continued up to the floor she was going to. When they again opened, she staggered out of the elevator only to face the man again, who was waiting for her. He attacked once more. This time, she screamed. Her parents heard a woman screaming down the hall. Not realizing it was Robin, they came out of their room to investigate. Upon seeing them, the man fled.

The sudden terror of that moment and the lingering memory of that terror that took over her life thereafter was something Robin tried to understand, to explain to herself, so it could never happen again to her, to her loved ones, or to any woman or man. This incident did not define Robin, but it was the catalyst for change. Violence can erupt anywhere. Robin knew she needed to learn how to fight and defend herself, but she did not have the makings of a fighter. So, she decided to be smart about it. It was time for a plan. Specifically, a personal safety plan. Robin understands the value of having a plan and the positive impact that a plan can have in the face of adversity.

This violent assault sat with Robin for a long time, but it did not hold her back from building her life. Now, Robin lives with her personal safety plan every day. Everyone should have a personal safety plan. Your plan will help you confidently organize your life so that no one can determine the value of your life for you.

How many people actively plan for an emergency? Most of us react to stimuli as it happens. When Brenda conducts trainings or security presentations, she usually opens with the following two questions (it is important to note that she stresses in advance that she does not want to see a show of hands for the first question as this is a very personal matter and should not be shared in a public forum unless someone is comfortable doing so):

Have you or someone you know ever been the victim of a crime?

For the second question, Brenda does ask for a show of hands.

Who in the audience has a personal safety plan for their daily lives?

Rarely does anyone have a safety plan beyond a simple fire evacuation from their home. But seriously consider what you would do if you came home after a long day and found someone waiting to grab you. Are you aware of your surroundings when you exit your car? What if you were present during an active-shooter situation? Cultivating this awareness and accepting the fact that these types of horrific incidents can and do happen are key to surviving. Recognizing these facts and preparing yourself by having a plan in place are critical elements that can save precious seconds and increase the chances that you and your loved ones will survive in a crisis situation. The survival state of mind is the glue that helps you keep it together in such stressful situations. You can learn to turn the tables on the criminals. Be victorious, not a victim.

Criminals are experts at choosing victims. They don’t want trouble from their victims—they want the easiest path possible. Over the course of a 26-year law enforcement career, Brenda has met and interviewed many victims and witnesses of crimes. She has also met and interviewed many of the perpetrators of those crimes. She shares this with our readers:

While assigned to a violent crimes squad, I investigated a lot of bank robberies. For approximately seven years, I was designated as the Kidnapping Coordinator for the FBI division to which I was assigned. In that capacity, I specialized in violent crimes against children and domestic and international kidnapping cases. Talking with known criminals helped me understand what they look for in a victim.

It is accurate to say that many crimes are crimes of opportunity, but with that said, people should have the mindset that if someone tried to attack them, it would be the criminal’s unlucky day. Simply put, if you want to stay alive, stay awake. Avoid common distractions like your cell phone, especially when you are in a high-risk situation such as using an ATM. When you’re managing your kids in public, distractions are your first enemy. Studies show that older people and teens tend to be preyed on more than other populations. The reason? Both groups tend to be more vulnerable and walk along without actively looking around. It is this lack of awareness that the criminal thrives on. Make it hard for the criminal to hurt you. Awareness is crucial and will result in the criminal passing you up as a target.

Below is an example drawn from a combination of real-life crime investigations in which Brenda interviewed the individuals responsible. In this example, the crime resulted in the senseless murder of a young, new mother. As a new mother herself at the time, Brenda identified with the victim, who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The objective here is not to pass judgment but rather to share what happened so others can learn. Brenda still thinks about it to this day.

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Alicia had no idea that she was being observed when she pulled into the parking lot of her local grocery store. It was sunset, and the new mom was making a quick run for milk and a few essentials. She had just parked and did not register the three young men slumped against the recycling bin at the back of the parking lot. She gathered up her handbag and tied her shoes, not seeing the young men grouped together, arms folded, staring at each car as it entered the lot. They were sizing up each vehicle and each person who exited it, taking into consideration who would be an easy mark and where each vehicle was parked to assess whether it would make for an easy getaway.

Alicia walked into the grocery store, oblivious to the fact that she had been targeted. The subjects were ready when she exited the store. She approached her vehicle and placed her groceries in the trunk. The men walked across the parking lot, one of them carrying a shotgun alongside his leg. It was dark outside, but the shopping plaza was well lit. Despite this, no one noticed a thing. The men quickly surrounded her and forced her at gunpoint into the car’s trunk, her hands still holding the shopping bags. Her body was recovered days later in another state, a victim of robbery and murder.

It is heartbreaking. One wonders, had Alicia seen the three of them, would she have even unlocked her doors in the descending dusk? But Alicia, like most of us at different times of the day, may have been preoccupied thinking about her errands or was on her cell phone, looking down. The same can be said for every other person in the vicinity that night.

Later, in interrogation, the young men said that she never looked up the entire time she crossed their path—that she continued, distracted and oblivious, into the store. They noted her distraction, her tired gait, her distance from the other cars. Like coyotes on the plains, they tracked each shopper and decided she was the one least likely to give them a problem.

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Brenda continues:

This story illustrates the worst-case scenario. My advice here is if you ever come face-to-face with a criminal—especially one who is ordering you to get into the trunk of a vehicle or to get into any part of a vehicle—do not believe it when they say they are not going to hurt you if you comply. I remember one of the funniest things a bank robber said to me during an interrogation: I may be a thief, but I’m no liar. Well, of course, I did not believe him nor should you. CRIMINALS