Let Your Heart Smile

By J.B. Buell

Niki Georgiev lives and works in Draganov's Flying circus as a disabled clown. Each day he paints a smile onto his face, though he hasn't felt like smiling for some time.

When the circus gets a new act in, flashy stunt bike riders, Niki gets a surprise. His childhood friend Conner Flinn is one of the riders and has returned to the circus a big star.

Niki doesn't expect Conner to remember him, much less want to spend time with him as he's just one of the clowns.

But not only does Conner notice Niki, he also asks him to join his act. Will Niki finally have a reason to smile?

• Language: English
• Publisher: JMS Books LLC
• Release date: Jul 31, 2021
• ISBN: 9781646568437

J.B. Buell

J.B. Buell is a non binary writer (they/them or he/him) of m/m romance and gay rom com stories. They are a cat person, and can’t decide if they’re more of a coffee or tea person but is quite happy to drink both.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Where’s your arm?

Niki looked down at the little kid who’d asked the question, looking up at him with big eyes.

It was hard to be mad at kids, he thought, especially the little ones. They were only curious after all.

Hush, dear, the mom said, looking embarrassed as she side-eyed Niki. Don’t be rude.

The parents on the other hand…they could be a bit annoying with their pitying looks and condescending chatter. Niki didn’t reply, he simply picked off a balloon from his little cart and offered it by its string to the kid.

The balloon bobbed in the air as the kid took hold of the string. It advertised Draganov’s Flying Circus, as that’s what Niki was doing out in the town anyway: promoting the circus. He was dressed up in his Cho-cho the clown outfit, and thanks to the outfit he didn’t even need to talk to anyone. Not verbally, anyway.

Hold tight to that balloon, dear, the mom prompted the kid. Now, what do you say to the nice man?

The kid looked at Niki again with an expression like they weren’t too sure what to make of all this, but Niki was used to that now. Some kids even broke into tears at the sight of him. Apparently some people didn’t like clowns.

Thank you, mister, the kid murmured.

A small smile tugged at Niki’s mouth, but the kid probably wouldn’t see under all his clown make-up. He pressed the flower on his lapel instead, making it twirl around with a comical whizzing sound. Kids always liked the flower.

This earned him a grin from the kid, so Niki decided to offer them a couple of reduced price ticket stubs for the show. The circus was opening tomorrow, and they needed to advertise.

Oh, thank you, the mom said, a somewhat dubious expression on her face. Can we go, mommy? the kid asked. Can we?

Maybe your father can take you, the mom replied. Come along, now.

They left, and Niki waved to the kid being pulled away. He’d noticed that some parents didn’t seem to like him much, and he thought it was more to do with his rolled up left sleeve than him being dressed as a clown. Or, maybe the combined effect scared them, Niki wasn’t sure. Clowns weren’t scary, though. But then Niki had grown up in and around the circus, so he was used to them.

Anyway, time to get back to the grind. He pressed the button on the musical box atop his cart, so it started the pre-recorded roll up, roll up music designed to entice any kids within earshot to come closer. Niki had balloons, paper flowers, and tickets to give to any interested parties.

He looked around at the small town square, bustling with people going about their errands or shopping for groceries. Most of the adults ignored him. A couple of kids pulled at their parent’s hands, wanting to come investigate, but the parents wouldn’t let them.

Not for the first time, Niki felt awkward and kind of embarrassed to be standing around dressed like he was (a clown) and still have people ignore him or avoid eye contact with him.

It hadn’t always been like this, but this was how it was now. C’est la vie.

* * * *

After spending most of the day in the town center trying to get folks’ attention, Niki’s relief came when Yuri and Nadya (the knife throwing and juggling acts) took over for him.

How’s it been? Yuri asked in Bulgarian, tying a dozen new and colorful balloons onto the promo cart.

Niki shrugged limply.

That good, huh. Yuri laughed. You go on and have your supper, Niki. We’ll catch up with you later.

Nadya unpacked her bag of juggling clubs, and handed three to Yuri. They were both dressed up too, but in more layers than their usual ringside spandex costumes: they had on tasseled leggings and matching jackets with fringes on the arms, all in their trademark colors of lilac and silver.

I left some casserole in your trailer, she told Niki, smiling at him. Should still be warm when you get back.

Nadya had a key to Niki’s trailer, as they’d known each other a long time and she helped out with odd jobs for him since the accident.

Thanks. Niki smiled back at her. Have fun. Try not to club any kids.

She stifled a laugh as Yuri scoffed, "That was one time!"

Niki left them to their juggling act, the sounds of the roll up,