Echoes From The Past

By Tom Ahern

People tend to think of "trauma" as something exclusively topical to war veterans and abuse victims, for example. It isn't. Trauma is subjective, and it can distress individuals for days, months and years if they do not possess the proper tools to work through, reconcile and integrate it. When something unexpected happens-something unforeseen an

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Mind Mate
• Release date: Jul 22, 2021
• ISBN: 9780648349969

Book preview

PART 1

DEFENCE! DEFENCE!

CHAPTER 1

BLUEPRINTS

OF SURVIVAL

The truth is that as the struggle for survival has subsided, the question has emerged: Survival for what? Even more people today have the means to live but no meaning to live for.

Viktor Frankl

To attain, at the very least, adequate mental health, one must train just as hard, if not harder than those looking to improve their physical health. That’s because the cultivation of greater mental health does not appear to be as tangible as, for example, running to lose the fat around the belly. How do we measure mental health? We tend to disregard mental health as a training program and view it more as a permanent state of being. If you’re mentally healthy, you’re good to go! If you’re all over the place, there’s something wrong with you. Health isn’t black and white, it’s a spectrum. There aren’t merely healthy and unhealthy individuals. There are many factors that determine one’s health, the most important being how one perceives one’s daily affairs, one’s life. We cannot change our genes—our DNA sequences—but we can change the hereditary factors that influence our biological mental and physical health.¹ We can control what we eat and how often we exercise, not to mention the types of foods and exercise. We can also control what kind of environment we consume; an environment predicated on fear and misery or love and abundance. We can change our environments—unless we’re currently incarcerated! It is much easier to view health under a holistic lens. We cannot expect to be mentally healthy, at least not optimally, if all we eat and drink are burgers, sugar and alcohol. Likewise, we cannot expect our bodies to function properly if we lead a sedentary lifestyle, despite how joyous our lifestyles are. The body and mind are one. We must begin taking care of it not as separate pieces of a jigsaw puzzle but as a car which requires frequent maintenance. It isn’t only about the parts, it’s how the parts work together to make the car run.

We look at bodybuilders and Olympic athletes—the greatest contemporary sportsmen and women—and admire them for their unwavering discipline. But when we look at the Buddhists or those who follow a strict mental health plan—not to discount our secular friends—we write them off simply as happy people. They were always like that. We see Ronnie Coleman on stage, the greatest bodybuilder of the modern era and admire him for his work ethic. This is because the results of his work ethic are tangible. You don’t get a body like that bloke without grinding hours in the gym every day! Conversely, we see the Dalai Lama smile, laugh and embrace others equally and think he’s always been like that. The Dalai Lama tells us that, Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions. He tells us to, Be kind whenever possible and that, sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck. Excuse me Mr. Lama, but what about jet skis, fancy dinners and Instagram likes!

Both Ronnie Coleman and the Dalai Lama have one thing in common: disciplinary action. Judging by standard Buddhist practice, the path to enlightenment—freedom from suffering—is not an easy trod. Waking up at dawn every morning, meditating for hours, removing all sense of individuality i.e. shaving one’s hair, wearing the same robe every day, abstaining from sex, worldly pleasures and committing to the spiritual path are all examples, at least in my books, of seriously rigorous mental health practices! Unfortunately, human beings are not entitled either to perfect mental or physical health, which begs the question: how mentally and physically healthy; how healthy do we want to be? How many hours are we willing to put in to achieve states of consciousness akin to Buddhist monks? What are our physical health goals? Are we willing to devote hours of practice to improve our flexibility, strength, speed, stamina and joint health? For how long must we meditate each day, write in our diaries, authentically connect with others and work to release our traumas from the past in order to attain a mental state congruent with the happiest of individuals? Ultimately, this is for us to decide and just as a bench press pumps the chest, meditation (one of many examples) pumps the mind. You can choose you own tools. Maybe people become monks because they’re in a really bad way? How else can one know happiness like that without having experienced terrible psychological pain?

Transformation from psychological pain to optimal mental health takes work. Losing weight, toning-up and gaining lean muscle mass takes work. The process or journey from pain to pleasure engenders a different mindset, therefore a different individual. Who we become as we embark upon our journeys from point a to point b—from overweight and depressed to lean and fulfilled, for example—represents the crux of life. Life is a process, a transformation, a becoming. I am reminded of Joseph Campbell’s take on spiritual practice in his book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Campbell extrapolates on Jesus’ words in that, Whoever will lose his life for my sake, shall find it. (Matthew 16:25) Accordingly, Campbell states:

The meaning is very clear. It is the meaning of all religious practice. The individual, through prolonged psychological disciplines, gives up completely all attachment to his personal limitations, idiosyncrasies, hopes and fears, no longer resists the self-annihilation that is pre-requisite to rebirth in the realisation of truth. And so becomes right at last, for the great ‘At-Onement’. His personal ambitions being totally dissolved. He no longer tries to live but willingly relaxes to whatever may come to pass in him. He becomes, that is to say, an anonymity.²

By giving-up our attachments to external means—means that either prevent growth or the realisation of alternate perspectives—we find life; we atone with the journey; we unify ourselves with a state of becoming, of impermanence, no longer held-back by ideas, thoughts and habits. Essentially, we must be willing to let go of everything in order to find what it is we desire most. To become one with everything, psychologically speaking, begins by observing what separates us from everything and everyone else. The idea behind atonement, or as Campbell states At-Onement, is a re-unification with becoming, a dissolving of the ego, of our attachment with what we perceive to be true. Any thought beginning with I, I’m or Me, has the proclivity to lead to, or maintain one’s separation and isolation. If we identify with our egos—that Me, Me, Me, inner narrative—we enclose ourselves in an invisible box, cutting-off the outside world. We are separated from anything that doesn’t fall under the Me umbrella. Subsequently, lots of people find happiness when they begin to think of others, and their needs, not merely of their own. Their inner narrative suffocates as a result. It starves and dies.

If we are not our thoughts, what and, more importantly who are we? Who is the one observing the thoughts? Who would we be if we did not listen to them, did not abide by their rules? Imagine if we analysed our lives, went over them with a fine tooth comb, highlighting every behaviour that validated our fears and intrusive thoughts. Thoughts are merely contingency plans, expected results based upon past experiences. Imagine who we’d be if we did not let our thoughts influence us. Imagine what we’d do, what kind of life we’d lead? Despite the initial challenges, visualisation can help set a course for change. We can become someone else. Nietzsche questioned, As for sickness: are we not tempted to ask whether we could get along without it? Our thoughts and fears, our experiences and behaviours—mostly in response to external circumstances—have made us who we are. Now, with this awareness, we can decide whether or not we’d like to continue being this person. Do you like the world you see? If not, consider which thoughts, feelings and behaviours validate the way you perceive it.

If we are not our thoughts, why do we let them get in the way? Why do we let our thoughts stop us from doing and saying the things we want, given they do not represent us? Imagine if we had a reservation but decided not to walk into the restaurant, even though it was clearly open, because someone forgot to take the closed sign down on the front door. Why would we let a simple mistake like that stop us from enjoying our dinner? The relationship with our thoughts is very similar. We don’t have to starve—we made that reservation for a reason, damn it! We can practice our ability to choose whether or not to take the closed sign on the front door into consideration. After all, it would be wise not to disregard it altogether. In the same way, thoughts are useful from time to time. They serve an evolutionary purpose. However, we’re in charge, not our thoughts. We are the pilot in a vessel. Our thoughts do not need to define us. Inevitably, it is our response to the thoughts that do!

Suffering in life is not entirely predicated upon one’s perspective and resistance to it. Nor does suffering arise from nihilistic mentalities alone. Biology has a lot to say about the fundamental human condition. Yes, questioning one’s place in the world may lead the mind to uncharted and uncomfortable territory but our biology does too—we’re set up that way. Primitively speaking, we are here purely to survive and, if we’re lucky, procreate. It’s inconceivable that our biology has evolved across millennia to keep us alive as best it can as we sit in air-conditioned cars and homes complaining about how slow the Wi-Fi is. Of course, our biology is not a separate, conscious entity (or maybe it is). Whatever it is, it’s done well to get us to the 21st century!

We don’t have to rewind the evolutionary clock or take a trip through history to witness our ancestors beating their chests, fighting for land, mates and social status on the African savannahs. You’ll see the same thing today if you’re politically inclined! Jokes aside, our ancestors are still around—sort of—represented by our lovely Chimp and Bonobo brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers. As primatologist Frans de Waal explains, Darwin wasn't just provocative in saying that we descend from the apes—he didn't go far enough. We are apes in every way, from our long arms and tailless bodies to our habits and temperament.³ We and the chimps, share 98.8% of our DNA.⁴ We are nearly identical! Crazy to think it took until the mid-1800s to transcend religious dogmatism simply by observing the behaviour of primates. Darwin was a biologist and a geologist so that helped but it seems he was merely exercising common sense!

Evolutionarily speaking, we exist simply to survive. Yet we live in a thriving world where the vast majority of us are doing far better than anything our ancestors—even grandparents—could have fathomed growing up. The thing is, we aren’t built for abundance, happiness, chronic states of rest and digest—not the least, all-nighters, drugs, alcohol and high exposure to blue-light. We are built to walk (predominantly), run—either to catch something or escape from something else—and to very occasionally lift heavy things. Our biology still sees the world as a potentially dangerous place. Take motivation for example. Motivation differs from emotion. When someone—a mammal fundamentally—is motivated to act, a bodily need is subserved by a behaviour.⁵ Emotions can, and often do, manifest themselves when bodily needs aren’t evident.⁶ The thing is, You can measure motivation. You can measure its force. Scientists have observed that if you attach a spring to the tail of a starving rat and place food at the end of a corridor, the rat will pull the spring considerably.⁷ No wonder! The rat is starving. It’s doing what it can to get to the food—to stay alive. Furthermore, if you waft in some cat odour from behind the rat, the tension on the spring will increase significantly.⁸ Effectively, the motivational force to get from point A to point B has, at the very least, doubled. The rat wants to move forward and get away from where it currently is—away from potential death. Motivation to act, therefore, can be attacked from both sides of the coin.⁹ Hence, if you know where you want to go and who you want to be, in addition to knowing where you’ll end up if you continue to behave in the manner you are, not only will your positive emotion pull you toward your desired destination (a ‘perfect day’ for example); your anxiety will chase you away¹⁰ from a less than optimal future; a future you are currently creating. Without external struggle, existential suffering arises. Without external struggle, the mind has nothing to focus on; no mission to actualise; no problem to solve; no way to be of service to others or, at the very least, to itself. As Jack Donovan states: Our bodies crave work and sex, our minds crave risk and conflict.¹¹ Doubt is removed by action and action arises by valuing one behaviour (at any given time) over another.

Many individuals suffer from social anxiety and have issues with self-worth. They have confidence issues. Confidence is grounded in certainty. To act with certainty, you firstly need a plan and that plan is (should be) a vision for your life, a ‘perfect day’ or a short list of goals for the next six months. Life comes down to goal-directed behaviour! A vision eliminates anxiety and instils confidence and self-worth because the attainment of goals—bringing a vision into reality—derives certainty, integrity and psychological well-being. Ultimately, a plan for your future—a wonderful, inspiring plan—will reduce anxiety, instil confidence and release you from the shackles of a traumatic past. Planning your future, by definition, is an act dedicated to leaving the past where it belongs, catalysed by exploration, reconciliation and integration.

Pack Your Toolbox

If you are lost in life, struggling with anxiety, or a combination of both—stop asking: How do I find my purpose? Start asking: How do I create my purpose? There are proven ways to create one. You need frameworks, goals and you need to keep yourself accountable. Then you can live with purpose, act with reason and navigate life’s sea of potentialities. You will become far less anxious because your new-found sense of direction will eliminate uncertainty—anxiety berating you as you attempt to make decisions. No longer will you question decisions made in the past and worry incessantly about the future. That will all go away because, with your new vision—your sense of purpose—the possibilities for action will be significantly reduced; now consciously restricted. If you’re unsure what to do or what you like, work backwards: start with what you don’t like, then go from there. More often than not, what we end up doing manifests itself through a process of evaluating what we absolutely hate and want to do the least.

It is also important to minimise the amount and size of obstacles that stand between you and your goals—your deepest desires. An obstacle might present itself as an inconvenience—traffic, for example—making the process of achieving your goal—getting to the gym on time—more difficult. But if you broke-up your goal, getting to the gym on time, into its relevant elements—travel time, wearing appropriate clothing, a good night’s sleep—you will come to realise that the goal itself isn’t what’s challenging. Rather, it’s the amount, and size of obstacles that stand in the way. If you clear your path, getting to the gym on time will become a lot easier; perhaps second-nature, even habitual. Goal-directed behaviours imbue meaning within our lives. They literally create a sense of purpose because our actions, now, have consequences (punishments) and rewards. Objects, therefore, are what we need to help, or hinder the ability to fulfil our destinies. We don’t see random objects. We see everything in relation to ourselves. We see things that will either help or hinder our situations.¹²

We often restrict ourselves based on our own perceived limitations. What helps is striving to be better than who we were yesterday—to fulfil our potential, however we define it, and set an example for others. We often limit our idea of ‘potential’ which means we no longer strive to be better, strive for anything. Hence, why getting creative, dreaming of becoming the best versions of ourselves is so important: that dissolves the illusory notion of ‘realism’. Realism is a mask, a disguise for pessimism and limitation. It’s easy to justify limitation. We can blame it on evolution—we’re here for a short time and our lives are arbitrary in and of themselves. We’re here simply because our species survived. It’s easy to sit back and relax, to victimise ourselves, oppressed by tyrannical governments or nature. We will believe our own lies, the stories we tell ourselves. The mind will justify what the body is telling it. If you feel tired, your mind will tell you why—it will find its reasons. Alternatively, if you feel happy, your mind will associate the feeling with positive experiences. Changing a thought, therefore, comes by changing the prevalent emotional state. If we change our physiology, we change our minds!

CHAPTER 2

THERE ARE LAYERS

TO SUFFERING

There is an ancient tribal proverb I once heard in India. It says that before we can see properly we must first shed our tears to clear the way.

Libba Bray

Primitively speaking, we don’t like pain. We love pleasure though, and we will stop at nothing to get it. Anything that isn’t pleasurable is, by definition painful. What doesn’t feel good, feels bad. We’ve become very good at masking our pain, or worse, escaping it. Even thinking is painful these days, and that’s where the smart phones come in. Based upon our discussion of motivation, pain is a motivator—and a really good one! We need to feel pain, we need to suffer. In fact, we have no choice, at least insofar as the Buddhists see it. There is suffering in life.

According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), antidepressants are about 20% more effective to relieve symptoms of moderately to severely depressed adults than placebos are.¹ One cannot simply rule-out the efficacy of antidepressants entirely. SSRIs increase positive emotional processing over time, resulting in an overall shift in mood.² SSRI’s aren’t the cure, but they can move the needle in the right direction. Antidepressants, in laymen’s terms, help individuals get to a place where developmental action can be undertaken; they allow individuals to regulate themselves and make positive changes so that, with time, antidepressants will no longer be necessary. The implication behind antidepressant medication is that there exists a chemical imbalance in one’s brain. But is the individual suffering because of a chemical imbalance, or is the individual’s suffering creating the imbalance? What if the chemical imbalance emanated from a more natural cause? Does a reduction of serotonin in the brain lead to mental ill health or do mental disorders result in a reduction of serotonin?

I have, and will continue to discuss the evolutionary influences that guide our behaviour. Although we are not enslaved by our evolutionary moulding, we are—more or less—scientifically and behaviourally predictable; an overwhelming number of social experiments lead to similar outcomes. Put simply, many behavioural patterns are encoded in our DNA. Neurochemistry is the study of chemicals that influence the function of neurons; those electrically excitable cells—dopamine and serotonin, for example—that receive, process, and send messages to other nerve cells. Our neurochemistry influences how we psycho-physiologically respond to the environment and neurochemistry is largely influenced, among other things, by our position or rank within a social group. This social ranking system or hierarchy develops as animals compete for access to limited resources and mating opportunities. One’s position in the group determines his or her access, evolutionarily speaking, to those resources; resources that, for all intents and purposes, maintain his or her survival. One’s position in the group is no joke! Dr. Peterson explains:

A lobster with high levels of serotonin and low levels of octopamine is a cocky, strutting sort of shellfish, much less likely to back down when challenged. This is because serotonin helps regulate postural flexion. A flexed lobster extends its appendages so that it can look tall and dangerous, like Clint Eastwood in a spaghetti Western. When a lobster that just lost a battle is exposed to serotonin, it will stretch itself out, advance even on former victors, and fight longer and harder.³

The lobster’s serotonin levels are a response to the circumstances played out in the environment. The lobster’s serotonin levels increase or decrease depending upon external stimuli, namely a fight or disagreement between another lobster leading to a potential re-ordering of social ranking. Chemical balance—the neurochemical equilibrium between positive and negative emotion or ‘neurotransmission’—is predicated on, for the most part, what happens outside of the body. In other words, the brain up or down-regulates a concoction of neurochemicals in response to what it perceives. Peterson continues:

The drugs prescribed to depressed human beings, which are selective serotonin re-uptake indicators [SSRI’s], have much the same chemical and behavioural effect. In one of the more staggering demonstrations of the evolutionary continuity of life on Earth, Prozac even cheers up lobsters.⁴

Likewise with other animals, lobsters don’t like to fight to the death when engaging in a disagreement. In fact, disagreements played-out in the wild resemble disagreements within the contemporary workplace. Both parties assert their position without incurring too greater cost. In the wild, an animal may threaten another in an attempt to prove itself as the dominant party—although it is, rather, a case of competency as sexual selection, social reciprocity and progression depend on animals getting along; dominant individuals (serial killers, for example) don’t tend to last in group structures. Nevertheless, engaging in a downright fight means risking life, so threat—the inclination for a perceived, and dire punishment—is most appropriate. In the workplace, communicative moderation and emotional regulation are both favoured tactics. Despite the satisfaction, telling someone how we really feel is risky business, especially at work, and redundancy for the sake of winning an argument isn’t a good idea.

Today, conflict resolution manifests itself as sports, games and business meetings. Over the course of evolution and civilian life, human beings have abstracted the life-threatening risks of conflict and disagreement, leading to safer resolution practices. I don’t have to kill you to prove I’m the more competent individual (competent again, because dominance suggests that social hierarchies are grounded purely upon power struggles, which isn’t the case). I can use my words or prove my competence—depending on the hierarchy—through the acquisition of relevant skills.

Morality evolved through play.⁵ It is through play that mammals and birds (only mammals and birds) learn about social boundaries, the capabilities of their bodies and limbs, interpersonal problem-solving and general social dynamics. Mammals and birds learn what both no and yes mean; implicit in their partner’s behaviour, representative of, as discussed, ‘social boundaries’. As Bonobo expert Dr. Isabel Behncke explains, play is pivotal to our mental health and cognitive development.⁶ In fact, a lack of play leads to growth insufficiencies in the Prefrontal Cortex (PFC).⁷

As social creatures, we recognise the truth in the old adage two heads are better than one. Human beings relied upon the group to get to the 21st century. We were never the strongest animals, nor were we the fastest or the best at hiding. Conversely, we learnt to work together better than any other animal. Interpersonal problem-solving played a major role in our evolutionary survival. Today, the cultivation of problem-solving abilities stands as a critical factor to individual psychological development. From primal death fights and violent conflict resolution, abstracted to play, abstracted to sports and debate—the most evolutionary advanced species engenders a civilised society. Over time, morality took a stand against violence and primitive conflict resolution. Over time, morality tamed the wild beast. Competitions—abstracted forms of conflict resolution—engender a social ranking and, as discussed, where an animal sits within its social hierarchy has a great and overwhelming effect on its psycho-physiological health; more specifically, its neurochemistry. An animal, low on the social hierarchy, will have reduced access to resources which puts the animal in danger. If your environment, or your perception of it—moulded across time by various wins and losses—is consistently telling you that you are in danger, your brain’s amygdala will grow and you hippocampus will shrink.⁸ Put simply, you will be much more sensitive to emotion—the body’s communicative signal from the outside world—and much less able to rationalise, coinciding with a reduced capacity to compare and analyse current circumstances with previous ones. If you’re at the bottom, you’re on edge . . . all the time!

We know what happiness looks like. We know what confidence looks like. Happy and confident people stand up straight with their shoulders back. Akin to cocky lobsters with high levels of serotonin⁹ we, too, stand out like peacocks because we are on top of the world! It’s near impossible to hide. The opposite is also true. We know what depression and sadness look like. Depressed, anxious or sad individuals hunch forwards; they appear gloomy and avoid eye contact—evolutionarily speaking, avoid behaviours that potentially lead to conflict. 21st century depressed, anxious or sad individuals have lost so many battles, debates, sporting competitions and personal disputes. They are often victims of circumstance, having suffered from traumatic experience, incapable of integrating or moving on with their lives. They appear as though they’ve given up, and rightly so! Perceptibly, their place within the social hierarchy is set, rigid and terminal. Just because someone is down in the dumps today, doesn’t mean he or she will remain like that. The opposite is also true. Life is a series of ups and downs and conscious physical behaviour influences neurochemistry. We can take the power back and play God. We are not destined to live a depressing, anxiety-provoking life, given a series of losses. We can fight against hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. Although things that happen in our lives may plunge us into the chaotic waters of a depression—potentially leading to a chronic down-regulation of serotonin in the brain—our behaviour can reverse the process, slowly and gradually. We can control our own neurochemistry. It’s a two-way street. So by starting to act like a winner (for example, standing up straight), [we] can positively affect [our] brain’s circuitry.¹⁰ We can take back control, thereby throwing the ideology of ‘fate’ out with the rubbish.

Bonobos, as discussed, are very much like us. They are the dwarf or slender version of the chimpanzee. They are amongst our closest relatives—we diverged from them some thirteen million years ago. Primatologists such as Frans de Waal and Jane Goodall and ethologist Dr. Isabel Behncke have been very interested in primate morality, social relationships and dynamics, and how animal behaviour reflects human behaviour. Morality, on the surface, appears to be an exclusively human adaptation. But reciprocity is ripe within the primate world. As social creatures, I scratch your back, you scratch mine appears to be a strong evolutionary strategy; an implicit behavioural adaptation. Similarly, social hierarchies develop as many animals mediate access to limited resources. Social hierarchies in the world are void of safety nets seen within democracies. That said, two heads are better than one: just to be a part of a social group is an advantage, let alone a competent player within it. Dr. Isabel Behncke—ethologist Bonobo expert—states: Typically, an animal who is on the receiving end of a lot of aggression, you see displacement activity; self-scratching. And they will sit more on the peripheral of the group, not in the centre of the group. They will be less groomed than animals who are more central. It starts looking very similar to us, compared to a person who stays in their room, in social isolation engaged in displacement activities that basically gives you little kicks.¹¹ Being on the receiving end of a lot of aggression—akin to living a stressful life—leads to high levels of anxiety and depression, symptoms of burnout, communicative breakdowns in personal and professional relationships as well as physiological health conditions. Chronic stress is psycho-physiological gunshot wound to the chest! An animal—a human, bonobo or lobster—at the bottom of a social hierarchy is in a bad way. Human beings are complex creatures. Human beings are players within many social hierarchies, simultaneously.

Though the stereotypical high school nerd may find himself at the bottom, socially speaking, of the year ten cohort, among his peers, he is the most knowledgeable when it comes to Game of Thrones. He wins every trivia competition and card game, his friends—and their friends—come to him for advice and conversation, his screenplay adaptations are well-received and he is a frequent guest on popular contemporary Game of Thrones podcasts. He sits at the top, socially speaking, of the Game of Thrones hierarchy! Conversely, the homecoming queen may identify herself as the most popular, most beautiful of the cohort. In the mathematics classroom however, her grades are appalling. She is embarrassed by her grades, so she subconsciously compensates for her insecurities by bullying the ugly nerds with her peers at lunchtime—an archetypal schoolyard paradigm.

Unlike primitive social animals, human beings must compete across multiple hierarchies—both a positive and a negative. After reviewing Behncke’s research, I couldn’t help but draw a distinction between animals sitting on the peripherals of the group, engaging in self-scratching behaviours, and victims of childhood sexual or physical trauma. It is well documented that victims of this nature engage in self-harming compulsions and behaviours as a way to take back control,¹² if you will. Being robbed of their freedoms as children—not to mention grave, multilayered psychological damage—leads to an unceasing ambition for total independence... and rightly so! Self-harm presents itself as a subconscious wish—to use a Freudian term—to, as stated, take one’s power back. Though correlation by no means equates to causation, ethologists continue to draw fascinating similarities between the animal and human worlds.

The Conjunction of Morality and Biology

Dr. Behncke draws upon similarities highlighted by Dr. Peterson’s insights into the social behaviours of lobsters. Are serotonin deficiencies, limited access to resources and declines in mental and physical health inevitable consequences of animals who, within social hierarchies, lose more games than they win? It certainly appears to be the case; all the more reason for economic safety nets! Animals at the bottom become isolated; disregarded by peers who view them as deadweight (if anything!). Animals at the bottom have low morale and ambition catalysed by a complete lack of positive emotion—their incentive reward systems are rendered obsolete. They are, for all intents and purposes, victims of circumstance and social failures as concluded by peers. Their lack of competence and inadequacies speak for themselves. The same happens with contemporary individuals cut-down by their professional superiors, akin to sportsmen and women navigating losing streaks.

Depression is a sign, a signal. A series of hierarchical losses, unforeseeable tragedies, mistakes, failures and limited access to resources are likely to cause a depression. Depression results from (social and environmental) circumstances. There are individuals with genetic predispositions to developing depression but a genetic proclivity for the development of an illness or ‘disorder’, still, depends entirely upon the activation of that gene! Genes switch on and off depending upon external environmental signals. Either way, bowing down to the signal without responding to it will only prolong the pain, potentially leading to excessive rumination and escapism. If we want to transcend our pain, we must integrate it, which constitutes both listening to it—no longer disregarding it—and acting accordingly. We need to allow ourselves to feel the way we’re feeling; not shaming ourselves for it as a result, thereby fracturing the psyche into a thousand pieces. It’s okay, as they say, not to be okay; and the acceptance of pain is usually the first step towards healing it altogether.

CHAPTER 3

ALL BY MYSELF

"Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.

Life's cruelest irony."

Douglas Coupland

According to a New York Times article, Professor John Cacioppo—the late social neuroscientist from the University of Chicago—helped link a lack of social connections to physiological damage. Cacioppo found that being acutely lonely is as bad for your health as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day¹ and as writer Johann Hari states, If you become lonely, that releases as much of the stress hormone cortisol as if you are punched in the face by a stranger.² The neurotransmitter serotonin helps to mediate the risk of available resources. Serotonin makes us feel like we have enough, like we are enough. Resources, colloquially speaking, is something (or someone) an individual derives utility from. Resources include food, shelter, access to hygiene products and warm clothes. Resources also refer to friends. True friends are our greatest supporters, our aids, our guides and truth tellers. We need friends like a fish needs water. There is safety in a friend, akin to safety in numbers. Friends, economically speaking, help solve problems more productively and efficiently which leads to more sustainable outcomes. A friend draws on different perspectives, offers advice, transcends and breaks our narrow lenses of perception, shattering our worldviews when they have become stuck, rigid and pathological. Put simply, a friend is someone who tells the truth. A friend, therefore, is a trusted companion, someone we can rely on; a rare commodity. Isolation deprives human beings of friendship, social support—an evolutionary and contemporary necessity—and a place to call home. Isolation along with social status are just two of the many factors that influence mental health.

The factors that influence our mental health—most of which can be viewed through an evolutionary lens—each derive their own utility and significance. You cannot build a house without wood,