Shreds of Gorak: 21-30: Short reads of Gorak, #3

By Lemmy Gorak

Memoir, anecdote and meaningful other: Shreds 21-30

 

Grand Theft Auto: An escapade while bunking off school with friends. We break into an abandoned car and discover how flammable the stringy seat stuffing is.
Aroundabout Way: After a wild night out, I wake up on a mattress of bark chippings, in what at first I think is a garden…
Calling Orson: Growing up with a violent stepdad and an absence of love expressed from my mother, I fall for a newly acquired puppy, Orson.
The Leaf on My Boot: A leaf had stuck to the toe of my boot and I choose to return it to the wild.
Supermarket Sweep: Day 10 of Lockdown; observations of a hellish trip to the supermarket in the weirdest of times.
Run: After my friends are set-upon by a group of older, rough-looking types, I'm chased through streets and gardens of North London.
Wedding Photography – The Stakeout: Roped-in as an assistant wedding photographer, I find myself in a socially awkward situation, as my professionalism is under scrutiny by a best man with a glaring facial disfigurement.
Life Without Mackerel: Ruminations from inside a cold tent after a relationship meltdown.
All Tomorrow's Parties: A suggestion that heroin is more suited to the elderly.
Disappear from View: As a child I could become invisible simply by closing my eyes, providing great comfort and security.
 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lemmy Gorak
• Release date: Jul 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201223267

Lemmy Gorak

After a short time spent sleeping on London's Circle Line, as a child I toured the capital, staying in a succession of refuges, tents and narrowboats. Although traumatic, it was a time rich with experience and freedoms most don't enjoy. Left to create my own life-map, I relied on nothing but hard-wired survival skills to get me through the many schools I attended, leaving with an O Level in Art and a handful of cardboard Sports Day medals. Picking up a guitar - along with recreational drugs - I found therapy through an anarchic yet unsustainable lifestyle. After numerous shitty jobs and spells of unemployment, I cleaned up my act (a bit) and rediscovered a child-like wonder with the natural world - a connection that has ultimately been my saviour. Seduced by mountains, I headed for the wilds of Cumbria, where with a Blues Harp I busked and played in local bars, before a virus with a household name had its way and a shocking end of an unhealthy relationship left me facing homelessness. I love to amuse myself and make sense of things, and have always kept a diary and scribbled on the back of envelopes; caught in the flow. Now with head and heart aligned, I write in earnest, most mornings while it's still dark.

Book preview

Grand Theft Auto

The car had clearly been dumped. It had long seen a tax disc, the two remaining tyres were flat and the official notice taped to the windscreen was quite faded. We were in agreement; this was morally sound. I wrapped my jacket over my forearm and put the passenger-side window through. We were in.

The inside stank of stale fags, sausage rolls and arse. We searched the glove box for anything of value or interest, but instead found some tapes of The Eagles and Bonnie Tyler. Under one of the seats there was a copy of Razzle and we flipped coins to decide which pages we each got to take home. Result.

Taking turns in the driver’s seat, we assumed the role of an adult male. With a cigarette dangling from our lip, one hand loosely resting on the gearstick and the other on top of the wheel, we were transformed into the men we one-day hoped to be. Then with our eyes streaming from the smoke, we talked about the ‘birds’ from school and what we’d like to do with them.

But the novelty of adulthood soon wore thin, and we reverted to being the adolescent vandals we really were. We pulled dials off, broke switches, cut up the seats and melted things - creating some interestingly coloured flames and fumes that made us feel quite sick.

Then we discovered just how flammable the stringy seat-stuffing was. It was the perfect tinder - you only had to show it a flame and it flared up. We started by burning small amounts, but on