Short reads of Gorak Series

Memoir, anecdote and meaningful other: Shreds 11-20   Nan Love: My nan had recently had a fall and I'd gone to visit her, but as I hugged her, I felt something soft and malleable in my hand… The Scratching: Rats move into my loft, causing a rat phobia from my childhood to re-surface. I set about understanding my enemy and observe the emergence of murderous feelings towards them. Waste Management: A facetious suggestion that hospital waste could be recycled and used as a meat alternative. I Swear, You Swear: At age seven I persuade a fellow pupil to swear. We swear at passers-by, awarding ourselves points based on the severity of their reactions. Knit Love Not War: After learning to knit, I have an idea to create a more peaceful world through 'Knit and Natter' parties. Fight, Fight! Through having to defend myself from school bullies, I discover an inner rage. Hans Free: A tongue-in-cheek look at driving while using a mobile phone. Run Reynard: A satirical look at fox hunting, offering solutions to nuisance foxes in the form of 'fox utopias'. Islands in the Stream: A fanciful tale about the relationship between Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. A story about love, rejection and a song ruined with cringy 'aha's'. Model Behaviour: Disillusioned with the posts on offer, I take a cynical look at the staged photos of those in employment on the wall of the Job Centre. Viewing them as prisoners, caught up in a system that serves its own needs, I enter into an imaginary conversation with 'Joe'.  

Memoir, anecdote and meaningful other: Shreds 21-30   Grand Theft Auto: An escapade while bunking off school with friends. We break into an abandoned car and discover how flammable the stringy seat stuffing is. Aroundabout Way: After a wild night out, I wake up on a mattress of bark chippings, in what at first I think is a garden… Calling Orson: Growing up with a violent stepdad and an absence of love expressed from my mother, I fall for a newly acquired puppy, Orson. The Leaf on My Boot: A leaf had stuck to the toe of my boot and I choose to return it to the wild. Supermarket Sweep: Day 10 of Lockdown; observations of a hellish trip to the supermarket in the weirdest of times. Run: After my friends are set-upon by a group of older, rough-looking types, I'm chased through streets and gardens of North London. Wedding Photography – The Stakeout: Roped-in as an assistant wedding photographer, I find myself in a socially awkward situation, as my professionalism is under scrutiny by a best man with a glaring facial disfigurement. Life Without Mackerel: Ruminations from inside a cold tent after a relationship meltdown. All Tomorrow's Parties: A suggestion that heroin is more suited to the elderly. Disappear from View: As a child I could become invisible simply by closing my eyes, providing great comfort and security.  

Memoir, anecdote and meaningful other: Shreds 31-40   Run with Wolves: Coming to terms with raising an 'alpha-female' puppy, I learn to embrace her wilder side. Ediz Caught Wanking: A teenage friendship is shattered by devastating embarrassment. Insect Clothes: Viewing clothes fluff in bathwater while under the influence of hallucinogens. Terror at the Tills: A lifetime of mischievous pilfering from supermarkets leads to boredom. To keep things interesting, I create a little game. Power & Responsibility: A power cut gives concerns over the food in my freezer thawing. To amuse myself I write a farcical letter to the electricity company. The Hug: I reach back through time with a much-needed hug for my younger self. Live Forever: After stumbling on an eBay listing for 'immortality pills', I explore the concept of living forever. That Same Thing: Visiting my dying nan in hospital confirmed something I had felt all along. Stir: A playful look at prison films, drawing parallels between those imprisoned and the unexpressed-self of society. 'robert': After an incident on a train involving my dog and a baby, I keep myself amused for the rest of the journey by inventing the backstory of two total strangers.  

Memoir, anecdote and meaningful other: Shreds 41-50   Going for Gold: A yearning for approval from my mother finds me excelling with Olympian-like focus on school sports day. I Wanna be Sedated: Surrendering our mental faculties is never talked about as a viable life-style choice - if only there was somewhere to do this safely, where we could pursue our chosen reality… Tech Support: A tech-support man arrives, and I suspect he is not human. Crossroads: At an impressionable age I fall in with the wrong crowd and find myself faced with a moral dilemma. ADVERTISEMENT - Vaccine: A fictitious advert for a board game. Wedding Photography Pt2 – The Shootout: The day of the big shoot arrives and it becomes clear that I am not cut out for wedding photography. Hanging Out: A snapshot of a traumatic event. This Ol' House: A fabricated story about integrity and the commodification of music, based around the idea of Shakin' Stevens as an icon of authenticity. Fray Bentos: Days before Christmas, I despair of people, but later witness an act of goodwill, restoring my faith. A Christmas Glory: Fuelled by sexual energy, I question the concept of good and evil through graphic and depraved fantasies involving the Queen. Static: After a traumatic relationship break-up, I start over from a static caravan in the wilds of Cumbria, choosing to seize it as an opportunity for growth.  

Memoir, anecdote and meaningful other: Shreds 1-10   First Dates: An honest account of my adolescent 'relationships' with the models in mail-order catalogues. Lamb 197: A lost Cumbrian lamb re-unites with its mother, leading to realisations about the relationship I have with my own. Listen to the Man: Myself and a fellow stoner board a pedalo and take to the sea. Ignoring the advice of the man hiring them out, we head past the buoys and get taken out by the tide. The Fabricheads: Dark imaginations of a town (in Wales) where trepanning is practiced, leading to improved intellectual function and enlightenment for its residents. Falling Down, Granola and the Water Bowl: After a hard day's work, I am confronted with mounting bills and suffer a cartoon mini-breakdown. He Played Eight: Mortifying infant embarrassment when forced to sing in class. Spit in Me Hat: Lunchtime observations: as I sit on a mound of rubble on an abandoned traveller's site, I question negative perceptions of them. Pretty Things: In a refuge I stayed in as a child, I sit and watch three women tattoo each other's hands using a biro and heated compass point. Another woman enters, and I become transfixed by her. The Queue: While waiting to cash a cheque, I imagine those in the queue as a gang committing a bank job. Dear Mr Hales: A sarcastic letter to the BBC regarding non-payment of my TV license.