An Amish Morning

By Terri Downes

Hannah had not said a word about her marriage to John, but Matthew had been able to read between the lines. She had obviously not been happy. She had married John when she was sixteen – to Matthew's dismay, at the time – and had spent her life on their remote farm, rarely coming out into the wider community to make friends...Hannah had been so excited over finally being able to join in with quilting or canning parties, all the simple pleasures that she had not been permitted to pursue before...Matthew had married himself, and was now also a widower, but he and his wife had married as friends. Their love had grown over several years, slowly and with space. With Hannah, Matthew never had to look far for his feelings...He just hoped that she would realise she could enjoy her life while also leaving room for a relationship – but that might take time. Matthew would just have to be patient...This was a difficult decision to make, but he believed that it was the right one. If the love was real, and it was meant to be returned, then it would be...But was it in Gott's plan?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trellis Publishing
• Release date: Jul 3, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201271343

Book preview

AN AMISH MORNING

TERRI DOWNES

TABLE OF CONTENTS

AN AMISH MORNING

MY AMISH ROOTS

THE CHOSEN AMISH

CALL OF THE AMISH

AMISH SUNSET

LOVE UNLIKELY

THE WEDDING DRESS

AN AMISH MORNING

Careful.

I'm fine, Sarah.

Matthew looked over to the corner by the door. Hannah was balancing on the top rung of a ladder, adjusting a sign that had been installed that morning. Her friend Sarah was walking away and shaking her head.

Matthew put down the box he was carrying and walked over, looking up at his friend with trepidation. She glanced down at him and smiled, looking faintly golden in the morning light falling through the high windows.

Morning, Matthew said, trying not to look worried. Apparently, he did not succeed, because Hannah sighed.

Don't you start as well. If I'm going to help out around here, I must be able to make myself useful.

I've been up the ladder plenty of times, added Elsie, coming past with a tray of glasses for her stall.

Matthew did not point out that Elsie was a good twenty years younger than Hannah, concerned he might cause offense. He simply shrugged and moving on.

He knew Hannah was enjoying her work at the new indoor market. Many of the Plain folk in the area who had had trouble running their own shops and stalls were coming together to create a large shared space, saving considerably on costs. They had converted an old warehouse for the purpose, setting up small, permanent stalls within it.

Matthew had been the one to suggest Hannah take one of the jobs that was going. It was only for a few days a week, cleaning and helping out with small tasks here and there, but he knew she needed the money for herself and her daughter Miriam. It had been a year since Hannah's husband John had died, and she needed to start earning her own money.

Of course, if Hannah were to marry again, she would not need to work...

Matthew tried not to stare at Hannah as she laughed at something Elsie had said, carefully making her way down the ladder. Despite the difference in their ages, Hannah was every bit as beautiful as her young friend, or any of the friends she had made since she had started working at the market.

Matthew walked over as Elsie left.

How are you and Miriam settling into the cottage? he asked.

It's lovely, said Hannah at once. Her face was slightly flushed from her work, and her eyes were shining. It's in such a nice spot, and there's a pretty route I can take when I walk to work.

And you're still on three days a week here?

For now, said Hannah. She paused, then raised an eyebrow at Matthew. You don't have to take care of me, you know.

Matthew smiled. I know that.

He did know that, more was the pity. When Hannah's husband had died after twenty years of marriage, everyone had expected that Hannah would marry again as soon as possible. Most had suspected that she would wed her widowed brother in law Aaron, and continue to help out with the family horse tack business as she had been doing before.

Matthew, remembering his old childhood friendship with Hannah, had wondered whether he should  try to get her attention before Aaron could.

But when he had gone to see her, he had not found a widow in desperate need of help. He had found a woman excited for the next chapter in her life, as she called it.

She had not said a word about her marriage to John, but Matthew had been able to read between the lines. She had obviously not been happy. She had married John when she was sixteen – to Matthew's dismay, at the time – and had spent her life on their remote farm, rarely coming out into the wider community to make friends.

Hannah had been so excited over finally being able to join in with quilting or canning parties, all the simple pleasures that she had not been permitted to pursue before.

I don't know if it's unseemly to be so cheery about it, she had confessed to him. But it feels as though I'm a girl again.

Matthew had laughed and told her there was nothing wrong with it. Even during that conversation,  however, he had started remembering all the reasons he had loved Hannah when they were children.

True, he had married himself, and was now also a widower, but he and his wife had married as friends. Their love had grown over several years, slowly and with space. With Hannah, Matthew never had to look far for his feelings.

He just hoped that she would realise she could enjoy her life while also leaving room for a relationship – but that might take time. Matthew would just have to be patient.

This was a difficult decision to make, but he believed that it was the right one. If the love was real, and it was meant to be returned, then it would be.

He did have to remind himself of this, however, whenever he saw Hannah on a day like today. When she looked so much like she had done as a girl.

Matthew turned away as Hannah started back up the ladder, waving some the men past so they could collect some trestle tables to carry over to the other side of the warehouse.

He tried to concentrate on setting up his stall, where he would be selling woodworking tools. He was looking forward to the new venture, although he had never been directly responsible for his own business in this manner before. His cousin had always sold the things for him at his store, just sending Matthew a portion of the profits each month.

Maybe I should get Hannah to look over my accounts, he thought. She ran John's accounts for years, I'm sure she would know how to –

He stopped himself.

Stop thinking about Hannah. You can't be patient if you let her fill your every waking thought like this.

He was focusing so hard on thinking about something other than Hannah that Matthew almost didn't hear the cry of alarm from the other side of the warehouse – or the clatter as one of the men tripped, pushing forward the trestle table he was trying to carry. The scream that came afterward, however – that, he heard.

***

When John had died, everyone had told Hannah, it's difficult, but you'll adjust. You'll get used to it.

After a few weeks, however, Hannah had decided that she didn't want to get used to it. She didn't want to start developing new routines and patterns to take the place of those that had always dominated her life. Every day was bringing new surprises, and she wanted to keep being surprised.

Even small things, like being able to choose what she made for dinner, were a pleasant change. She tried recipes she had never made before, even playing games with Miriam in which they chose two mismatched ingredients and tried to come up with a way to make them into a single dish.

Sometimes she would do silly things, just because she could. Last week, Hannah had not been able to sleep, and when she walked to the window for some fresh air, she had caught the scent of the rose bushes in the garden. She had pulled on a robe and gone outside, following the perfume to its source, then lay on the grass, breathing deeply and looking up at the stars.

Hannah sighed, looking down at the casts on her legs. It would be a while before she was able to anything like that again.

Miriam came into the bedroom, carrying a tray. Hannah smiled at her.

"Thank you, my engel, she said. How's the bread looking?"

"It's fine, mamme, said Miriam, looking slightly offended. I've made bread on my own before, you know."

I know, you know everything, said Hannah, pulling a face at her daughter. You're twelve, you're practically an old woman. We should get you a cane.

Miriam giggled.

This was also something new.

John had not controlled Miriam the way he did Hannah, but he was always so serious that one could not feel comfortable laughing in his presence. It did Hannah good to see her daughter laugh, and to hear her talk back a little, even if meant she wasn't always as polite as she should be.

Oh, look, said Miriam, staring out of the window. There are some people coming up from the road.

Who is it?

Your friends from the market. Sarah and her husband – what was his name?

Thomas, said Hannah. They're early, they said –

And Elsie and Rebecca and Simon too. And Simon's grandmother.

Really?

Hannah felt confused. These were some of the folk she had been working with at the market. Sarah and her husband had been coming to deliver a wheelchair that they had collected for Hannah – Sarah's husband had a car for his work – but the others had not needed to come. Why were they here?

She quickly drank the tea Miriam had made her, and straightened her clothing, trying to look as presentable as she could. Sarah and Thomas came in, greeting her cheerily.

Your doctor said someone would come by tomorrow to check on you, Thomas said, as he helped her into the chair.

Sarah then wheeled Hannah into the tiny sitting room, where the others had brought in one of the benches from the kitchen so there were enough seats.

Hannah looked around at all of them, as though expecting someone to announce the purpose for their visit. Did they need to talk about work?

How's everything going at the market? she asked.

We've missed you, said Sarah. No-one else seems to be able to keep track of the order forms.

She's talking about me, said Simon, a boy of only seventeen, presumably here because of his not-so-secret interest in Rebecca. But I only lost them once.

But we don't have to talk about work, said Simon's grandmother, Joanna, who had recently expanded her market quilting stall. Did the doctor say how long you had to use the chair for?

Three months, said Hannah. There had been multiple fractures in both of her legs.

A response of sympathy rose from the little group, and everyone started telling stories about this or that relative who had been injured. After a minute, Sarah volunteered to make tea, and Rebecca revealed that she had brought cookies.

As Miriam led the way into the thimble-sized kitchen, Hannah realised that the group was only here for her.

They were visiting, because they were her friends.

She felt a sweet, pleasant ache blooming at her heart. She had friends of her own, come to visit because they liked her and wanted to check up on her. Another something new.

Maybe it was almost worth the injury for this – although she could have done without the stress of having to find some other source of income for the next three months. The last thing she wanted was to have to move in with one of her sisters, or a member of John's family. None of them seemed to approve of the way she was choosing to live at the moment.

There was a knock at the door just as Miriam was handing around glasses of sweet tea. Sarah jumped up to answer it, and Hannah smiled broadly when she saw that it was Matthew.

He seemed a little surprised to find the room so full. When he stepped inside, Hannah saw that he had brought his sister, Rachel.

Rachel also looked surprised, although far less approving that Matthew. In fact, her expression was almost identical to the one Hannah's mother had worn when she had seen the cottage for the first time.

Come in, said Hannah, trying to sound as warm as possible. We'll make space.

Simon disappeared into the kitchen to fetch the other bench. Rachel perched on the seat he had just vacated, looking around with slightly pursed lips.

Matthew threw Hannah a look, and they shared a quick smile. Hannah wondered if his family members were also reacting poorly to his choice to stay single –  especially now that it was a few years since his wife had died, and he had no children.

But would that account for the strange expression on his face, as he looked around the crowded room? He looked like he had been thwarted in something.

Like he was disappointed.

***

I think we should give this a polish after we're done, said Matthew, looking over the table critically as he knelt on the grass. What do you think?

Yes, said Miriam, copying his expression with an endearing earnestness. That's a good idea.

Do you have polish?

We ran out the other day... I think there's more in the shed, in one of the boxes.

Miriam went off to search through the boxes, which contained all the items Hannah had brought from her old home but had not had room for in the cottage. Matthew sat back, feeling the cool grass against his palms.

He could still hear Aaron inside. Hannah's brother-in-law had arrived half an hour ago, barely greeting Matthew as he sat mending the table in the back garden with assistance from Miriam.

Aaron had requested Hannah stay inside to speak with him. He then proceeded to start quizzing her about how she was supporting herself and Miriam, and what her plans were, and didn't she think it was time she stopped trying to live like this, and came home?

Aaron had always been a loud man, and Matthew wasn't sure if he could tell that his voice was carrying right out to the garden. He and Miriam had politely pretended that they couldn't hear – though now, as Miriam's absence stretched on, Matthew wondered if she was taking her time just to get away from the unpleasant scene.

Hannah was holding her own, but was clearly becoming more and more upset.

Sarah and Thomas have been driving me to the market, she said. A few of the stallholders needed help with their accounting, and they've been paying by the hour.

That can't possibly be enough to live on, cut in Aaron. No doubt you're still dipping into your savings.

That's what they're there for, said Hannah. Emergencies.

It's not enough to last three months. And even if it is, you'll still only be working for pocket change once you're well. It's not good enough.

That's for me to decide, Aaron.

If you came back and started working for the family business again, you'd be set.

Are you offering me a job? said Hannah, her voice flat.

"You know what I'm