Hannah's Grace: Would You Have The Grace To Forgive The Unforgivable

By Pamela Everly

Hannah McDonald has suffered many tragedies in her life. It seems that anyone who gets close to her, she loses them. Just as she has given up hope on happiness, an eastern stranger comes to her rescue. Can she allow him to love her and return that love, or will her fear of loss keep them apart? 

Matthew London ran away fro

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stratton Press
• Release date: Sep 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781648955679

Pamela Everly

Pamela Everly was born and raised in the southwestern part of Pennsylvania. She married her high school sweetheart. They now raise their three children in the same church that they grew up in.Pamela enjoys singing in the church and has also directed the children's Christmas programs. Pamela has also enjoyed reading and thanks God for giving her the idea to write this book and the ones to follow. This is Pamela's first novel, and she is currently writing the sequel.

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Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

one

Texas, 1891

It was early in the morning; the sun was just peeking through the window when Hannah’s pa opened her bedroom door. What is going on? she thought to herself as she lifted her sleepy head from her pillow. Pa looked very worried.

The baby is coming. I need to get Doc. You go sit with your ma and make sure you take care of her while I’m gone. Your mom is in a lot of pain, so don’t you cause any trouble. Ya hear?

Yes, Pa. And then he was gone.

Hannah jumped out of bed and started to get dressed. She was so excited the day had finally come. Her little brother or sister was coming. It seemed they had waited so long for this moment. Hannah had never been around a baby before. She had no idea how to care for one. Her best friend Rachel has younger siblings. Rachel told her that they are a lot of work, and they cried a lot when they were babies. Hannah giggled thinking about the silly face Rachel had made when she said that.

After she finished getting dressed, she went over to her ma’s room.

Ma, can I get you anything? she quietly asked.

I need you to go boil some water, and get some rags. Make sure you put on some coffee for your pa and Doc, her ma instructed.

Yes, Ma. She gave her ma a kiss on the cheek and then went outside to get the water.

I wonder what the baby will be, she said to herself. Her pa was sure it would be a boy. He told Ma that it just made sense that since they had a girl already that God would give them a boy next. Ma was sure hoping he was right. Hannah had heard her ma pray that God would give them a son, especially since Tom, her pa, wants one so bad.

Since her ma married Tom, he had been really good to them. Tom would lose his temper with Hannah sometimes, but he was a good pa. He deserves to have a son, she thought.

Hannah put the pot on the stove and went and grabbed some rags. She walked over to the rocking chair where she had made a blanket for the baby. It wasn’t as nice as the quilt her ma had made for her, but it was a nice blanket for the baby.

A loud scream from her ma’s room made her jump. She ran into her ma’s room. Hannah didn’t know what to do. Her ma was in so much pain, and her beautiful face was now pale and strained.

What can I do, Ma? I don’t know what to do. Hannah started to cry.

Her ma reached out her hand for Hannah.

Hannah, listen to me. I know you’re scared, but you need to listen to me. You’re just a young lady. You’re not supposed to know what to do. Just take a deep breath and calm down.

She noticed that while her ma talked to her that she would grimace in pain. Hannah squeezed her ma’s hand and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and then she was ready.

Okay, Ma, what can I do? she asked.

I need you to get a cool rag and place it on my head, chest, neck, and arms. You need to keep me cool. There will be a lot of screaming, and you need to just ignore it because it is normal, her ma said.

Okay, Ma, I can do it. She was so scared, but she tried to be brave for her ma.

She sat there and tried to cool her ma down, but as the sun rose higher in the sky, it became hotter and hotter.

Hannah, I want you to know that I love you, and I am very proud of you. You are taking very good care of me.

Thanks, Ma. I love you too. She didn’t know why her ma was saying this to her.

Her ma started screaming uncontrollably.

Ma…Mama, what am I supposed to do? Please tell me what to do.

At that moment, Tom, Dr. Henry, and Ms. Ellen the midwife came in the room. Hannah was crying uncontrollably. Tom grabbed her by the arm and pushed her out of the room. You were supposed to take care of your ma, he yelled.

Tom, she did take good care of me. Don’t be mad at her. She is just a little girl, her ma scolded him.

That was the first time that Hannah heard her ma talk to him that way.

Tom, you need to step out, Doc said.

Tom went out of the room. Then Doc closed the door.

Tom didn’t say a word to Hannah. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours. Tom paced back and forth in front of the door. Hannah stared out the window crying as she listened to her ma screaming. Then all of a sudden, it went silent. There was no screaming. No baby crying. Tom and Hannah stared at the door. Neither one of them could move or say anything. The door opened and out came Doc with a sad look in his eyes. He wiped the sweat from his head and looked up.

I’m sorry, Tom, but we lost them both.

No! You’re lying, Hannah screamed and ran to the room. Doc caught her before she went in.

Now, Hannah, you don’t want to see them yet. It’s not a good thing for you to see.

That’s my mama! she cried as she pounded on Dr. Henry’s chest.

Your ma wouldn’t want you to see her like this. Give me a few minutes and then you can see her and your brother. Tom’s head shot up.

It was a boy? he asked.

Yes, Tom, it was. I’m very sorry. He walked back into the room and shut the door.

Hannah was sobbing, and she couldn’t catch her breath. She felt numb inside. How could this happen? She had to get out of here. She quickly darted out of the house, ignoring her pa’s calls to come back. She couldn’t be in that house any longer. She was running up over the hill toward the riverbank when she tripped over a tree stump and fell on her face. She lay there and cried. Her momma was gone. What will she do now? First, her pa dies; now her ma and baby brother. How can she go on? Her life has changed in an instant.

After a while, she sat up and wiped her tears. She had to talk to Rachel. She walked all the way to the Smith’s farm. It wasn’t too long of a walk. Hannah knocked at the door. Mrs. Smith came to the door.

Hannah, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Rachel came to the door at that moment.

What’s wrong, Hannah? Rachel asked.

Mama died and the baby too.

Oh merciful heavens, no! gasped Mrs. Smith, and she started to cry.

Rachel grabbed Hannah and hugged her tight, and the two friends cried together.

Hannah was there for a few hours talking with Mrs. Smith when they heard a buggy pulling up to the house. Tom always knew where to find Hannah. He knocked on the door, and Mr. Smith came to the door.

Tom. I’m sorry to hear about your loss. If there is anything we can do for you and Hannah, just let us know.

Thanks, but we’ll be just fine. Is Hannah here? Tom asked.

Yes. She is out on the back porch with the ladies. Come on in. They walked out to the back porch.

Hannah, let’s go! he said.

Oh, Mr. McDonald. I’m so sorry for your loss. Lynn was a good friend to me. I loved her very much. If there is anything I can do for you, please don’t hesitate to let us know, Mrs. Smith said.

Thank you, Mrs. Smith. I know you were close with Lynn, but we will be fine. Come, Hannah, we have to go home now.

I can’t go back there. I don’t want to go, Hannah cried.

She is more than welcome to stay here, Mrs. Smith said.

Tom thought about it for a moment. If you’re sure you won’t mind. Hannah, would you like that? All Hannah could do was nod.

We can bring her to the church for the service.

Fine! Tom simply said and left.

Hannah couldn’t stop the tears from coming. Mrs. Smith came over to her and held her tightly and just let her cry. She softly prayed with Hannah.

God, please ease this hurt from us. It is hard to think that this young girl losing her ma is part of your plan, but only you know why and where this will lead her. Please help her come to realize that you love her and know what is best for her. Help Hannah to rely on you for strength and love. God give Hannah grace and peace. In Jesus’s name, amen. Hannah looked up at this wonderful, God-fearing woman.

Thank you, Mrs. Smith. I feel a little better. It still hurts though.

I know, Hannah, but God will be there for you. He will get you through it. He doesn’t give you something to figure out on your own. He wants you to rely on him for strength. God loves us so much. How do you think he felt creating his own son in the human flesh knowing that he would be tortured and crucified? I know that I would never be able to do that. It just proves his love for us. He knew that Jesus would make a way to free us from hell, if we believe in him and receive him into our hearts. God knew that the suffering would all be worth it.

Thank you again, Mrs. Smith.

You’re welcome, sweetie. Why don’t you go in Rachel’s room and take a nap before dinner.

I think I will, Hannah said and went upstairs. It didn’t take long for Hannah to drift off to sleep. She didn’t sleep well. She was lying on the ground crying, and she couldn’t move. She felt so much pain, and then a tall man came over to her. She couldn’t make out his face. His wide-brimmed hat shaded his face. He leaned over, calling her name. He sounded very upset. Hannah, I’m here, he said as he removed his hat. Then she woke up. Rachel had been calling her for dinner.

Dinner’s ready, Hannah, Rachel said.

Rachel, I had a really weird dream. She told her all about it.

What do you think it means? Rachel asked.

I don’t know, Hannah replied.

Maybe it’s your future husband, Rachel teased. Come on. Let’s go eat. The two friends walked downstairs to join the family for dinner. But Hannah didn’t have much of an appetite.

Hannah woke the next morning, her eyes stinging with pain. I had such a horrible dream last night, she thought to herself. She opened her sore eyes to a different room. She wasn’t dreaming. This was Rachel’s room. That means her ma really was gone. At that thought, Hannah began to sob.

Rachel came to her side. She just held her friend and let her cry. I know it must be hard, but I will always be here for you. Hannah’s crying eased, and they went downstairs to breakfast.

The morning seemed a blur to Hannah. The Smiths had five children. So there was a lot of chaos at the table. Hannah didn’t mind. It kept the sad looks away from her. She thought of her mama and how the service was going to go. She was nervous. She didn’t want to go, but she had to see her ma and say goodbye.

After breakfast, it was time to get ready for the service. Rachel let Hannah use one of her good dresses.

Hannah was quiet the whole way to the church. She couldn’t believe this all happened. Why did this have to happen to her? She tried to remember what Mrs. Smith said about not understanding God’s plan but accepting it and trusting that he knows what path he has given to us.

They arrived at the church just as they were lowering the casket. They were burying her mama and brother under the big tree. She got out of the wagon and stood by her pa. He gave her a small pat on her shoulder. Never once since her ma died did he hold her and comfort her.

He looks tired and very old, she thought to herself. She never noticed the age difference between her ma and Tom till now.

Hannah turned her attention to the two mounds of dirt that had just been formed. She realized she didn’t get to say goodbye to her ma. She threw herself down on the dirt and sobbed.

Mama, I love you. Please don’t leave me! she cried aloud. I didn’t get to tell you goodbye, Ma, please. Her pa lifted her up and gave her a disapproving look.

Settle down, girl, he scolded. His tone and look silenced Hannah.

Sorry, Reverend, please continue.

Hannah had no idea what the reverend said the whole service after she heard him say that her ma was in a better place. She couldn’t believe it. How dare he say that? She knew her ma would rather be alive with her. She was lost in her thoughts the whole time. She was startled when Tom nudged her.

Let’s go! he demanded. There are chores to get to.

She couldn’t believe him. He expected her to get to work like nothing happened. She got up in the back of the wagon and lay down and cried herself to sleep. It wasn’t a very long ride, so when Tom jerked the buggy to a stop, Hannah woke up. They were home. Hannah went straight for the barn to start her chores. She had only her old dress that she brought back from Rachel’s to change into. She wasn’t ready to go into the house. She didn’t know how she would feel walking in there knowing her ma wouldn’t be in there to greet her.

Hannah kept busy all day feeding the chickens, collecting the eggs, and milking the cow. When all her chores were done, she went to the house and stared at the door. She took a deep breath in and opened the door. She walked in and felt a deep sadness. She went right to her room and lay on her bed. She held tight to her ma’s quilt. She continued to cry till she drifted off to sleep.

***

It had been three days since her ma died; she left her room early in the mornings just to do her chores and to use the outhouse. She wouldn’t even eat. She was in her room sleeping when her pa came in.

Now, Hannah, you have to get over this. You are no longer to lay here and waste the days away. You will eat what is in front of you, and you will clean and cook from now on. No more crying, he said.

I hate you! she screamed. It’s all your fault my ma’s dead. She would still be alive if it wasn’t for you. We should have never come here.

Tom’s face was full of anger. He reached up and slapped her across the face, again and again. She fell to the floor and he kicked her.

Don’t you ever say that again, you hear me? he said as he beat her.

I’m sorry, Pa! she said crying.

Don’t ever call me that again. I’m not your pa, and I never wanted to be, he said as he left her in a ball on the floor. He slammed the door behind him.

She was in so much pain. She couldn’t believe he would hurt her like this. She got up and slowly walked up to the water basin and tried to clean the blood from her face.

God, she prayed, please help me to be good and stop crying so Tom won’t do this again. Help me to be strong and accept my mother’s death. Amen. Hannah splashed some water on her sore face and tried to straighten herself up, but her stomach hurt so badly. She sat down on the edge of her bed and tried to stop herself from hurting. Then she heard Tom greet Rachel at the door.

I’m sorry, Rachel, but Hannah still won’t come out of her room. Just give her a few more days maybe she’ll be ready for visitors then. I’ll tell her you stopped by again. Then she heard the door shut. She came out of her bedroom.

What would you like for dinner? she asked Tom.

Don’t worry about it! he snapped, not even looking at her, and then he left.

She watched as he rode into the direction of town. She walked back into her room and shut the door. Her face hurt and her stomach hurt. She went back to bed.

Oh, Mama, I miss you so much, Hannah softly whispered as she drifted off to sleep. Hannah woke up, in the middle of the night, to a loud noise. She opened up her door just a crack. There was Tom swaying back and forth; he had knocked over a chair.

He is drunk, she thought to herself. She closed the door again and went back to bed. She didn’t want to see how he would act in this state. So she covered up and tried to go back to sleep. She prayed that Tom would not come in her room and that he would just go to bed and sleep it off. Her prayers were answered a few moments later when she heard Tom’s bedroom door slam shut and then silence filled the house. Thank you, Lord, she said and then went to sleep. She tossed and turned as she was dreaming.

The sky was filled with dark clouds, and she was lost in the woods. She cried out for help but no one heard her. She could hear something coming toward her.

Hello! she yelled into the darkness. Someone help me please. But then the noise started to move away from her.

Come back. Please come back! she cried again. Then the darkness lifted like it was a curtain hanging from the sky, and she was able to see in front of her. It was the town and the people that she knew.

Help me! she cried, but everyone kept to their own tasks. It was like no one heard her. Then she saw Rachel coming toward her.

Rachel, help me! she called. Rachel reached out her hand and then she disappeared. Rachel, where did you go? Come back, please! Then she saw the tall man again; and again, she couldn’t see his face, just his tall frame. He reached out his hand, but Hannah didn’t know if she should try to reach for it. If she did, would he disappear too? She looked up again, and she saw his deep green eyes. That was all she could see. She stared right at his eyes and reached for his hand. He took her hand and helped her up. Then she woke up. Her heart was beating so fast. Who was this tall man with deep green eyes? What did this dream mean?

That’s silly. Dreams don’t mean anything. As she got out of bed, a sudden pain in her face stopped her. She reached her hand up and softly touched the swollen, bruised skin. I will do what Tom asks me, she reminded herself, and she got dressed then went outside and started on her chores.

Tom got out of bed around noon and said he was going to check his traps.

I’ll be back for supper, he called out, still refusing to look at her.

After her chores were done, she decided to try and catch a fish for dinner. She gathered her things and went fishing. She sat down and cast her line and thought about the events of the last week. She felt so much sorrow. She wasn’t sure what was to become of her life now.

God, please help to do things according to your will. I want to have the faith in you that Mama and Mrs. Smith have. I trust that you did what you felt was right by taking Mama away. Please help me accept that. Please help Tom too. I know that he is hurting too. Help him do the right thing. Please help us forgive each other. Thank you for your love and grace. Amen.

Hannah! She heard someone call her name. She jumped up and turned around. It was Rachel.

What happened to you? Rachel asked as she rushed to her friend’s side. Your face is bruised.

Oh, Rachel, it’s nothing. I said some mean things to Tom last night. It was all my fault, Hannah tried to explain.

Hannah, he did this to you.

Hannah looked down in shame. Please, Rachel, don’t tell anyone. It’s like I said, I had it coming. I shouldn’t have said those things. Please, Rachel, it won’t happen again.

Hannah, I’m sure you didn’t deserve this.

Rachel, please if you’re my friend you won’t tell anyone.

Alright, Hannah, but I don’t agree with it. Nobody deserves to be hit like that. Are you okay?

No, but I will be, Hannah replied. Sit and talk with me.

About what? Rachel asked.

I want to hear about you and Brian. Rachel blushed. Please, I need a distraction.

The two friends sat there and talked for hours.

***

Time had slowly gone by. Things between her and Tom hadn’t gotten better. In fact, it only got worse. Hannah was now getting ready to turn eighteen. She had only Rachel in her life. It seemed like everyone else went out of their way to avoid her. But honestly, Hannah was avoiding them as well. Sure, she went to church on Sundays when she didn’t have a bruise on her face. But when everyone gathered with their families after the service, Hannah chose a private spot by the pond. Mrs. Smith asked her