The Beauty of Her Love: What My Parrot Taught Me about Living with Companion Birds

By Elaina Garabedian

This book is a love story, inspired by Elaina's first amazon parrot, Miss Merlin. That relationship inspired this story of their lives together, as well as several other companion birds. Join us for a wonderful story of love and lots of kisses, with a bit of education. Within these pages is a 40-year love story with a bit of information about what birds need to be happy and healthy - their habits, their languages, how they see the world… and us.

Like people, every bird is different. It's fascinating to get to know them. It's a true story for all age groups. We hope you will enjoy it!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jun 15, 2021
• ISBN: 9780971827530

Book preview

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Preface

It’s my hope that maybe… just maybe…. this book will reach some people who want to understand birds better and enrich the lives of both the humans and their birds.

It pains me to think how many parrots and other birds are being kept in circumstances where the owners haven’t got any idea just how amazing and wonderful these birds can be. So many birds are forced to stay in cages like prisoners, with poor nutrition and neglected. It’s heartbreaking.

I think it’s worth saying that this book was conveys the things I have been taught over the years either by humans or by birds. I can’t attest to the scientific accuracy of any of it, but rather it is what I believe and understand so far. I know that once I publish this, there will be lots of stuff I wish I had thought to include. And it is possible something may be incorrect because what I was taught was not so, or I left out things.

My goodness, there is so much to talk about. Like how the things humans do to show friendship are exactly the wrong thing to do with a bird. It’s my understanding that extending one’s hand in friendship has its origins in indicating that you are not holding a weapon. Well, for humans that’s okay. But to a bird, seeing fingers coming at you means some larger creature is about to swoop down on you and have you for lunch! So, of course, birds will attack the claws coming at them. Thus, never extend your fingers towards a bird unless you want to get bitten. They are just doing what nature tells them they should do. When you approach a bird, especially when first meeting them, put your hands together behind your back, it makes you much less threatening. Also, speak in sweet higher pitched tones, rather than deep ones. Pick them up with a stick. Tell them up and then slowly put it near the belly, just above the legs and let them step up onto the perch. Remember to praise them after, Good girl, or whatever you like to say.

People show their sincerity by looking someone right in the eye. The eyes are the mirror of the soul, after all. To a bird, that means I’m about to attack you! So, it’s not such a great idea. When friends come into the bird room to sit and chat, I always recommend they greet the birds, and then ignore them. Then the birds know they are not a threat and will gradually interact with them. If a bird really wants to look at you, they’ll turn their head sideways, looking straight at you with one eye. I’m not sure if their ancestors, the dinosaurs, did that. (There’s lot of evidence that birds are descended from dinosaurs.) My birds see almost 360 degrees.

When their eyes dilate, they’re excited. Put some distance between you and the bird when that happens, as often a bite may follow, especially if the tail is also flared. They are parrots, after all. And usually only one or two generations removed from the wild, unlike cats and dogs, who have been domesticated for thousands of years. They WILL bite you, and there’s no controlling that. Homes with small children might want to buy, or even better, adopt a small bird like a cockatiel or budgie (aka parakeet). A smaller bird isn’t as serious a risk for injury to their fingers or other things like their face, ears, etc., and make great pets.

Keep in mind that every muscle in a bird’s body can be focused on that beak, so don’t let their size fool you. A parrot bite is nothing to laugh about. You bleed a lot. That lower beak is designed to make two puncture wounds with a cut in between. And it goes up against the flat inside of the upper beak. It really hurts.

If you’re going to get a bird, please rescue one. The adoption and rescue centers are overflowing with birds who need homes. Maybe their owner passed away or moved to a no pets apartment or nursing home, the new spouse doesn’t like birds, or any number of reasons. Please keep in mind that many birds live a very long time. My parrots might live about 80 years with proper exercise and nutrition.

Greeting and saying goodbye are big in bird culture, not to mention telling them what to expect when you get up and leave the room. (Announcing is big with birds.) They like me to hang out with them as much as possible. So, when I get up, I say, Elaina is fetching water, Elaina goes downstairs, I’ll be right back, Elaina goes out for one good night and one good morning (for an overnight away from home), Elaina goes out to fetch good eating: peas, blueberries, apples, etc. (once they know I’m going grocery shopping, then it’s ok and they don’t complain), etc.

Saying good night and good morning are also important in bird culture, as are hello (especially) and goodbye. If we are in the car and we are gassing up, carefully passing the credit card through the slightly open window (since we don’t pump our own gas in NJ), I tell them, The car has to eat. They understand these things because I use specific words they know.

I have learned that before it gets dark, I need to close the vertical blinds over the sliding doors in the bird room. That rooms sticks out into the yard, so they see all the animals and trees, which is great during the day. But once it is dark, the reflections can startle them. So, it’s important to close things up. They also need night lights wherever they might fly. It is never completely dark outside, and their night vision is poor. They sometimes get something called night frights and can fly wildly when waking from a sound sleep. Without night lights in all the areas they might reach, they can’t find their way back to their cage. Even so, I still might find them on a chair now and then. I worry that I might accidently step on one of them, so light is good. I like having the energy efficient nightlights, too, especially if I am walking in the flight path.

I learned somewhere along the line that when they get the sniffles, as they sometimes do from the a/c or in winter, some fresh garlic seems to help them burn it out of their system. We call it the A- chews, for obvious reasons. I cut the garlic in half across the wide part so they can smell it (their sense of smell is the only thing that is not better than ours), and it more easily attracts their attention. It’s kind of funny to smell the garlic on their breath. But Mom is half Italian, so.…

Dried, long red-hot chili peppers are also good for a cold, and a good source of critical Vitamin A. Some of my birds will eat them, some won’t. I also learned it can take years before they accept a new food. Just keep giving it. Eventually, you will notice they are eating it. It was like that with Rowdybush® for Merlin. It was five years before I saw her pick up a piece and eat it. Of course, she might have eaten some before that. Magic was weaned onto it by the breeder and ate it immediately. Once Merlin ate the Rowdybush®, a nail on her claw that had been damaged when she was captured grew back! (Unfortunately, just the cuticle, not the quick, but at least there is a nail now. We have to trim that one for her, since it isn’t as strong as the others.)

It also took time for them to eat fresh carrots cut into disks, among other things. Apples, well, that was pretty instantaneous for all my birds. Sometimes, how the food is presented matters, like grapes cut across the wide way will get eaten, but left whole, they don’t eat them. It pays to experiment and also to be patient and let them get used to a food. The dried apricots and large dried fruits in their food mixes have to be cut into smaller pieces. Miss Merlin is partial to dates, papaya and prunes, all of which are in GoldenFeast® mixes.

I was told that cat and dog saliva is lethal to birds. I don’t know if it’s true, but why take a chance? It’s never safe to mix birds with predators like dogs, cats and snakes. If birds are forced to stay caged all the time to keep them safe, it’s not much of a life. And snakes can go right through cages. I heard a terrible true story about a snake leaping up into a cage that was hanging from the ceiling and eating the bird. This was after a number of years in the same home. Somehow, the snake got out of its tank that day. The owner found the snake coiled in the bottom of the bird’s cage. The bird was defenseless.

You never know what a particular bird might do. They’re all different, just like people and other companion animals. Arwen, for example is fascinated by my reading glasses and the cellphone. And she is always ready for a close-up, Mr. DeMille. Not only does she want her picture taken but she needs to see all the ones she posed for. Yes, she poses for pictures! Magic wanted to use the computer, but I knew he would crunch the keys. They watch TV when it isn’t a lot of moving images. And yes, they like seeing other birds on TV and my computer. They sing along with us when we play the piano. It’s not exactly in tune, but it is joyful. They talk to people on zoom and the phone and look at the person’s image while talking.

I had no idea when I brought them home that birds need to sleep 80% of the time. That lights need to stay on a constant schedule, and that I should use timers to lower the light in the evening. And that you also need to step the lights down. Or that they need to see the sky to be happy. I didn’t know the cage should have at least two sides into a corner, so they feel safe and have some protection from drafts. Or that a draft can kill a bird. (They lose body heat and can’t get away from it like they would if they were outside.) I didn’t understand that they will perch on an outside perimeter of the cage in case they need to flee quickly.

These things make sense. But people don’t realize it so easily. It takes time for them to teach you. You need to pay attention. Fortunately, Merlin is a patient teacher. I had no idea I was going to be her student. It took me some time to catch on that she had things to teach me. For example, Merlin is quick to show her displeasure if the television is too loud. Their big cage is not far from a TV, and I try to be sensitive to the volume level, as well as light levels. But you know how they spike the TV volume sometimes. So, I keep the volume control close at hand, and if it gets loud and I don’t catch it quickly enough, she will turn and look at me. I’ll show her I’m already lowering it. I raise the control where she can see me doing it, and then she’ll put her head back behind her wing. After all, they can’t adjust the volume. That’s clearly my job. And, let’s face it, she’s in charge around here. We all know that.

I also had no idea that they use bark for digestion. Merlin taught me that. So, I learned to make sure they always have some lovely shaggy slabs of bark. Fortunately, I have several nice types of hardwood trees around the house. Any place with hardwood type firewood would have bark. It falls off when you cut the wood. After they eat, they invariably will go over and rip off some bark and eat it for fiber. They’re partial to cherry (which has aspirin in it, so make sure it is not the only kind they have, you don’t want to thin out their blood too much). Merlin has arthritis in one claw and wing from being bitten by Magic when trying to defend herself. As well as