Reckless Hope

By j. leigh bailey

What's life without a little risk?

Or a lot of risk, if you're Sebastian Carlisle. He'll never live up to the legacy of his dead brother, so why try? Being the wild child in a family of stuck-up rich snobs suits him just fine.

Until he meets Micah Burke, and everything changes.

Micah's got too much going on for a relationship. Even if he could trust Sebastian, a distraction—a sexy, reckless distraction with a death wish—would only derail his carefully scheduled life. If it were just Micah, maybe that would be fine, but his mother and sister depend on him, and he can't let them down. Or at least that's what he tells himself.

A hot moment leads to a hot night leads to a connection neither of them are ready for. And when a crisis hits Micah's family hard, Sebastian will have to shed his bad-boy image and decide whether he can be the man Micah needs—and Micah needs to decide whether he'll let him.

Book two of Letting Go

68,630 words

• Language: English
• Publisher: Carina Press
• Release date: Aug 24, 2015
• ISBN: 9781459290068

Book preview

Chapter One

Once a month Micah escaped. Once a month he stepped away from the demands and responsibilities of his day-to-day life to lose himself in the chaos of light and music, dancing and flirting. Once a month, when the club hosted an underage night, he could pretend to be someone else, a guy who didn’t have to take care of his mother, watch out for his younger sister or work two jobs while going to school part-time. This was his chance to let loose.

It would be easier, though, if his best friend hadn’t flaked on him. Without his dance buddy, he had to deflect come-ons and roaming hands. Avoiding the heavy-lidded stare from the guy next to him, Micah leaned against the bar, waiting for the bartender to come back with his bottled water.

You come here often?

Speaking of come-ons... Hey, baby, what’s your sign? he responded, deadpan. He rolled his eyes before turning to the guy who’d spoken.

Whoa. The guys who resorted to cheesy lines didn’t usually look like this. This guy was jaw-droppingly, eye-poppingly gorgeous.

The stranger propped an elbow on the bar, neatly pushing aside staring-dude.

My sign? Christ, he looked like an Abercrombie model, all blond hair and blue eyes.

Micah cleared his throat. There were dozens of gorgeous guys at the club. No reason for this one to rattle him so much. Yeah, you know, zodiac. I assumed we were exchanging cheesy come-ons.

The other guy’s wicked grin did funny things to Micah’s stomach. Jesus, get a grip. Nah, I’d be more creative in my pickup lines. The blond leaned in close and whispered in Micah’s ear, Something like, if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

The warm puff of air over his ear, the husky tone, sent shivers all the way down to Micah’s toes. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to flirt a little bit. He swallowed hard. I’d have to ask you to leave. There was a flash of surprise in the blond’s eyes before Micah finished with, You’re making all the other guys here look bad.

How about... You know what would look good on you? Mr. All-American’s lips grazed Micah’s ear. "Me." With every word he moved closer until they pressed tightly together.

Holy sex-on-a-stick. It had been way too long since Micah had messed around with a guy, and his hormones were working double-time. He dug his fingernails into his palms. He had rules about this kind of thing. No casual club hook-ups. No anonymous sex. Recklessness had been his parents’ thing, not his. He was there to dance and relax during his evening off. Only to dance and relax.

His body didn’t care about the rules, though. Almost against his will, he leaned closer.

Then there’s my personal favorite, the blond murmured. Do you kiss strangers? If not, let me introduce myself.

Their lips were a bare fraction of an inch apart. Micah could see the intent in the other guy’s expression. His lust-hazed brain panicked. Things like this didn’t happen to him, not this fast, not this hot. Not to boring, predictable Micah. I may not be Fred Flintstone, he said, the words coming in a rush before he could stop them, but I could make your bed rock.

The guy snorted, then burst into laughter. Okay, you win. That one is awesome. The tension stretching between them broke and Micah could finally take a full breath. The blond stepped back. My name’s Sebastian.

Micah. And, no, I’m pretty sure we haven’t met. He would have noticed someone this sexy.

Sebastian winked and grinned. I realized that almost right away. The other guy—the one I thought was you—was hot, but not nearly so much fun.

Fun? Micah had never been accused of that before. The bartender finally arrived with Micah’s water. Micah tossed some cash on the bar and grabbed the bottle. He downed half in three swallows. Sebastian stepped closer and Micah forgot how to breathe. Unfortunately the water kept coming. He choked and water spewed, showering Sebastian. Micah slapped his hand over his mouth.

Sebastian brushed at the water trickling down his neck.

Oh my God! I’m so sorry! Micah pivoted, scanning for a napkin. There was nothing in reach, but a stack of cocktail napkins sat behind the bar. The bartender wasn’t nearby, so Micah hitched himself onto the glossy, sticky surface and stretched forward to grab a couple.

Seriously, it’s fine. Sebastian laid a hand on the small of Micah’s back. The awkward position had hiked his shirt up and Sebastian’s hand was hot against the bare skin.

Micah closed his eyes, fighting against arousal. This was not the way he operated. He slid back and tried not to notice the way Sebastian’s hand glided against him. Micah pushed a fistful of napkins at him.

You can make it up to me, Sebastian said, wiping at his neck and face. Dance with me.

He should say no. Normally, he would have. But Jace, his friend, wasn’t there, and Micah came to the club to dance. Why not with the gorgeous guy next to him? Just one dance, then he could call it a night. Might as well get an early start on his homework.

One dance, he agreed.

Sebastian smiled again, then pulled him to the dance floor. He was too hot, too perfect. Micah was probably going to make an ass of himself.

The dance floor writhed with bodies as Sebastian led them into the center of the space, taking advantage of the close quarters to brush his body against Micah’s. Clubbers pressed against them, undulating to the music. Sebastian hooked his thumbs in the belt loops of Micah’s jeans and tugged him close.

Usually he danced with Jace, so he wasn’t exactly sure on the protocol for dancing with a sexy stranger. Should they talk? And about what? I love this song, he said.

Me too. Sebastian shifted, tugging Micah out of the way as two guys nearby started shoving at each other. His hands lingered, stroking along Micah’s ribs. Wrath has some seriously good tunes. Can you believe the lead singer is related to what’s-his-face, the dude in Pop Town?

My sister loves them. I have to listen to that crappy boy band every day. He had to shout over the music. Conversation probably wasn’t going to happen, but that didn’t matter. Sebastian moved with the music in a way that let his body do the talking. No words necessary. Micah shut his mouth and focused on the song and the dance. It usually took him a while to loosen up. Not tonight, though. Sebastian knew how to use his body to turn his partner on. With every dip their hips and thighs brushed, completely in sync.

The DJ switched to a new song, and the change in melody broke the hold dancing with Sebastian had on him. It would be a good time to go. He’d finished the agreed upon dance. Since his original plans for the night fell through, he should take advantage of the extra time to review his philosophy notes. He should probably make a grocery list, too. His feet slowed and his shoulders tensed at the thought of all the things he could be—should be—doing.

Hey. Sebastian ran his cheek against his. You’re thinking too much. Whatever it is you’re worried about, forget about it. It’ll still be there later. You might as well enjoy yourself for now. Besides, he added, nuzzling Micah’s neck before whispering, if you’re tensing up, I’m not doing my job. He pressed his hand against Micah’s hip, urging him closer.

I really should— he began, but Sebastian pressed his thigh between Micah’s and ground against him with a slow rocking motion that sapped the tension out of his muscles and had pleasure pulsing though him. He couldn’t help the whimper that escaped.

That’s right. Just relax and enjoy.

Micah’s head fell forward, resting on Sebastian’s shoulder, and all thoughts of responsibilities fled. He didn’t care that their slow grind didn’t match the fast-paced music. The pounding bass and Sebastian’s hard body were the only things on his mind. The crowd of bodies and the flash of neon in the bar became a swirling mass of color and lights. The music shifted to something with a techno beat, but Micah and Sebastian kept up the slow, rhythmic rocking of their dance. Micah swallowed hard. He needed to back things up a bit. Maybe throw in some more boring conversation. So, are you—

His words cut off as Sebastian pulled him even closer. Micah had to wrap his arms around Sebastian’s neck to keep his balance, and the move pressed him into the hard planes of the taller man’s chest. It also lined up their groins and Micah had to bite back a groan. His dick didn’t care about rules or common sense. It cared about pressure and friction.

Sebastian gazed at him, eyes half-lidded. I’m going to kiss you, he said.

Who announced it like that? Usually guys either just did it, or they asked if they could. Sebastian stated his intention and then matched action to words.

This kiss made Micah feel like he had the first and only time he’d gotten drunk. His head spun, his skin tingled and his body sort of floated away on an invisible ocean tide. Micah opened his mouth to Sebastian’s probing tongue, matching him thrust for thrust.

Somewhere along the way they’d stopped dancing.

Somewhere along the way Micah had stopped breathing.

Sebastian broke away long enough to take a breath. Damn, you’re hot. His teeth grazed Micah’s earlobe. Christ. Let’s get out of here, go somewhere. His mouth trailed along Micah’s throat with each sentence.

How long had it been since he’d touched someone? Been touched by someone? It had been months, Jesus, maybe more than a year. As Sebastian’s mouth slid lower and his tongue teased the neckline of Micah’s shirt, he thought about what else that tongue could do, other places it could go. Even as he imagined the slick pressure and warmth of Sebastian’s mouth around his dick, Sebastian rocked his hips. Micah groaned, arching his neck, giving Sebastian full access as he waited for his common sense to kick in.

Common sense, apparently, had been rendered mute.

Maybe it would be okay to break his rules. Maybe this once he could forget about the rest of his life for fifteen minutes.

Ye— He broke off when his phone whistled and vibrated in his pocket.

Heart pounding, breath hitching, Micah froze. If it had been any other ring tone, he would have ignored it. But his mother wouldn’t call him, especially this late, if it wasn’t an emergency.

* * *

This was exactly what Sebastian needed tonight. The energy of the crowd, the surge of lust. The rush of conquest.

Mom? What’s the matter? What happened? Micah covered one ear with his free hand and edged away from him. Just a second, Mom. I can’t hear you.

Sebastian stepped a little ahead of Micah, forcing his way through the crowd. He figured it would give Micah a quieter place to finish his call, and, even better, the alcove in the back was only two short steps from the restroom. A quick hook-up in the bathroom wasn’t his usual style, but he’d make an exception tonight to keep the adrenaline and endorphins pumping. He’d had a crap week, so he needed to blow off some steam.

Micah mouthed the word sorry then thanks.

Sebastian shrugged. Hopefully he would finish his call soon. He had plans for the guy. Plans that would hopefully include fogging up those glasses and doing unspeakable things to that ass. Sebastian fell back, letting Micah take the lead so he could get another look at that particular part of Micah’s anatomy.

The small alcove in front of the restrooms provided a little bit of privacy. A couple of girls waited for the ladies’ room, but other than that it was deserted. Sebastian pretended to be interested in the three-decades’ worth of band posters on the wall while Micah continued his conversation with his mother.

Sebastian leaned against the wall and listened to the one-sided conversation.

The restroom door swung open, revealing a stunning twink in skintight jeans and a tank top. Noticing Sebastian, the boy paused—and posed—in the doorway, then tilted his head in invitation.

Micah’s mouth pressed into a firm line. He ran a hand through his light brown hair, leaving it in spiky patches. Are you serious?

Normally Sebastian would’ve gotten tired of waiting and moved on, but Micah’s combo of serious, awkward and sexy was really doing it for him. Not many people would take a call from their mom in the middle of the dance floor. Plus, he’d loved the way Micah had whimpered when he finally let go, and it might be worth waiting around to see if he could get Micah to make that noise again.

He shook his head slightly at the twink in the doorway, then added a smile to soften the rejection. Just in case. Micah’s phone call didn’t seem to be going well.

Micah took a deep breath. Okay, yeah, I’m on my way. I’m on the other side of town, though, so it’s going to take me a bit.

The kid was hot in an understated kind of way. Clean-cut. Wholesome. The red light that filled the alcove highlighted Micah’s straight nose and perfect skin. Sebastian had never noticed a guy’s skin before, unless it was a mess, but Micah’s was milky pale and looked soft as the chamois Granddad used to polish his Rolls Royce. It made him want to touch.

Instead he reached into his pocket and pulled out the engraved silver flask he’d liberated from a drawer in Granddad’s desk. Like the Rolls, it was shiny and prized. Sebastian took great pleasure in tarnishing it, so to speak, with his deplorable habits. Granddad used the word deplorable a lot about Sebastian’s habits. He took a swig and the smooth burn of aged Scotch seeped through his chest and stomach. Cheers, he silently toasted his grandfather, taking another sip.

Mom, I told you, I’ll be there as soon as I can, Micah said slowly. Of course I’ll take care of it.

Problems? Sebastian asked as Micah disconnected the call and then shoved the phone into his pocket.

Just some family drama. Micah shook his head. Then, for the first time since the phone rang, he really looked at Sebastian. His eyes darted to the flask in Sebastian’s hand and Micah’s brow furrowed.

Want some? Sebastian tilted the flask in offering.

No, Micah snapped. I’ve got to go. He made to brush past Sebastian.

Sebastian wrapped his fingers lightly around Micah’s wrist, grazing his fingertips along the sensitive skin there. The jump of Micah’s pulse made him smile. You sure you can’t stay? Just for a little while?

Micah’s gaze rested on the flask again. No, I don’t think so. But it was fun. He turned and wove his way through the crowd, leaving Sebastian.

Well, damn. Sebastian stared after him, dumbfounded. That was damn near a first.

Baz, there you are! Paul, one of Sebastian’s friends from college, rounded the corner to the alcove. I figured it’d take longer than that, but I’m glad I caught you. Darien called. They’re having a party at his place and it’s going to be epic. We gotta go.

What would take longer? Sebastian tucked the flask back into his pocket.

You and the hook-up.

The hook-up?

Paul looked at Sebastian as if he’d lost his mind. "Uh, yeah. Isn’t that why you brought that dude back here? Quick and public isn’t normally your style, but dude was fine."

Don’t be a jerk, Sebastian said, slugging Paul in the shoulder. That’s just insulting. I don’t do quick. I take my time, especially with guys like that.

Anything worth doing is worth taking your time on. Paul nodded sagely.

Absolutely. Sebastian winked. So, Darien’s place?

Epic party.

Let’s do it.

Sebastian shoved all thoughts of Micah to the back of his mind. Yeah, getting turned down sucked, but life moved on. And Darien’s parties really were epic.

Chapter Two

Getting arrested was not as exciting as he had expected.

Normally Sebastian loved trying new things, but on a scale of one to ten, getting picked up by the police for drinking and driving came in at about five—not as exciting as car surfing, but marginally better than cow tipping in Wisconsin.

He’d made it through the mug shots, the fingerprinting. He’d been a little disappointed by the fingerprinting, actually. No ink pads or bearlike officers manhandling him. They used some kind of scanner that looked like a fancy fax machine. Even the cops were disappointingly normal. He’d been forced to listen to the two officers in the booking area chat about their kids’ Little League teams. The place was clean, almost sterile, while he’d half hoped for the gritty, shadow-filled, urine—and vomit-scented area, or at the very least some tatted-up badass to glare at him from the cells. But no.

He couldn’t get over how ordinary it all was.

Ordinary, that is, until he’d been escorted into the area where he was to wait for his granddad to pick him up. A tiny scrap of a girl sat on the metal bench, head lolling, half asleep. Despite the gobs of makeup she’d slathered on her face—most of which was now smeared under her eyes—she looked young, way too young to be held at a police station.

Following the orders of his officer escort, Sebastian took a seat across from her. So, he said, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, you come here often?

The girl rolled her eyes at him.

Ah, a first-timer. He nodded and crossed one leg over the opposite knee. "Me too. I was expecting more...something when I got arrested for the first time." Not that this had been part of his plan for the night. But Paul had run into his ex and lost his shit. So they’d decided to cut the night short.

Paul, who hadn’t been ticketed for anything because he was twenty-one and hadn’t been driving, had been picked up by his roommate right away. Sebastian, on the other hand, was stuck waiting until God knew when for his grandfather to pick him up.

What are you in for? He could guess. The scent of beer and smoke wafted off her. He’d been to enough parties—even at her age—to recognize the signs.

Drinking. She tilted her head to see him better. How ’bout you?

Drinking.

You’re not old enough to drink?

Not yet. Sebastian didn’t add that it was the drinking while driving part that had gotten him into the most trouble. It wasn’t like he’d had that much to drink, either. Everything would have been fine if Paul hadn’t lost his fucking mind and decided that making a move on Sebastian would be the perfect punishment for the douchebag ex. He’d grabbed Sebastian’s dick, making him jerk the wheel. The swerving car drew the attention of the cop and the rest was, as they say, history.

You got someone coming to pick you up?

My brother. He was here already but they— she nodded to the uniformed officer who sat at a desk nearby —didn’t believe he’s my guardian. So he has to go all the way home to get the proof. Her words slurred a little, like she was having trouble making her tongue work right.

Your brother is your guardian?

She nodded. Momma’s paralyzed, so she made sure he was able to act as a parent. It’s not like he’s that much older than me, either. He’s going to be so mad.

Yeah? Why?

She looked at him like he’d lost his mind. Because I got picked up? He’s always on my case anyway. He’s such a dork. But I’ve gotta do what he says. It’s not fair.

Sebastian’s own brother had attempted to keep him in line, too. Sebastian nodded. My brother was the same way. He was always nagging me about the rules and responsibilities.

Yes! The girl jabbed her finger at him. That’s totally my brother! He just doesn’t get it.

Brothers are know-it-all pricks. If I’d have listened to mine more, I wouldn’t have gotten into nearly as much shit as I did.

Maybe. She slumped, her indignation leaving her. But he’s still going to be pissed.

A door in the other room opened. A shadow passed by the corrugated window in the door that separated the waiting room from the main office. Two minutes later, the door opened.

Lexi!

The girl jumped up and ran to him.

Sebastian stood, too. It was Micah.

Micah jerked to a halt. What are you doing here? he demanded, stepping protectively in front of his sister.

Like he posed a threat to some little girl? He shrugged and sat back on the bench, making the extra effort to look like the barb hadn’t struck. Peer pressure, he mocked. "All

Reviews for Reckless Hope

[crtsjffrsn · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Micah Burke knows all about responsibility. He's been the head of his family since he was a teenager, and he's also the guardian for his teenage sister while also caring for their mother, going to college, and working a job. He doesn't have time for frivolous things--he barely ever has time to go out and have fun. And on one rare occasion when he goes out, he meets Sebastian and loses himself in a moment of what could be, only to be quickly reminded of his responsibilities. Their paths cross again, however, and Micah quickly learns that Sebastian seems like the exact opposite of him: he's an impulsive risk-taker who seems to just dance through life doing all he can to avoid responsibility.

And Micah may not be wrong. Sebastian comes from a wealthy family and has been largely left to his own devices in recent years. He is a thrill-seeker and might even admit himself that he can be a bit reckless. Although he's gone from guy to guy, mostly keeping things casual, there's something about Micah that he just can't seem to shake. He's determined to break through Micah's shell to get to it, and he just might break through a shell of his own at the same time.

If you can't tell from that little bit of summary, there is some definite angst in this book. It's not all sunshine and rainbows and smooth sailing. But while it will take you up and down as a reader, it's not all doom and gloom. This is assembled strong characters, a well-developed plot arc, and a compelling narrative--which is something i've come to expect from J. Leigh Bailey. You'll laugh. You'll cry. But you'll also be inspired.

[Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.]