maladaptive

By Katharina Stertz

People who are "maladaptive" are making up scenarios in their minds: they are mostly daydreaming about their life in a pathological way.

So "maladaptive" is a story, where I am losing myself in a made up dream world after I refused accepting reality until it escalates in the end.

This book is composed of poems about the highs and lows in my life. The introduction encourages the reader to believe in their dreams until it turns into a bipolar nightmare full of self-doubts and pride while truths about social media and toxic friendships are uncovered. In the end I show you how it feels like to fall in love with an unavailable person and I will find myself distancing romantically from reality again.

It may contain sensitive topics like bullying, suicide, mental illness, violence, toxic friendships, eating disorders and unrequited love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Books on Demand
• Release date: May 28, 2021
• ISBN: 9783753493503

Katharina Stertz

Katharina Stertz is an author, artist, illustrator and writer. Through her art she wants to inspire and encourage people to create and to follow their dreams.

Book preview

index

introduction

bipolar disorder

toxic friendship

social media

erotomania

introduction

I like what I do

even though I am not good at it

you should be jealous instead

because I found a way out of my sadness

I rather live in my dreams

and create their colors on my own

than drowning in that salty reality

Shout out to the people

who get excited about the little things

who appreciate the little sunrays in the morning

and admire the same sunrise every evening

like a true passionate lover

who fell in love with the sun

shoutout to the people

who try their best not to care

about other people’s thoughts

shoutout to the people

who are the biggest dreamers

who believe in themselves too

who lose themselves

in the deeper meaning of life

shoutout to the people

who are listening to their favorite songs

over and over again

without getting tired of them

shoutout to the people

who are not afraid of facing reality

who dare to fight on their own

shoutout to the people

who can enjoy their life sober

who are glad of their advantages

than taking advantage of you

I know you are stronger than you think

and I am proud of how far you have come

some people cannot see your starlight

when they are living their life on daylight

your time will come

when the sun is going down

listen,

you don’t need a formula for everything

some things are incomparable

some things are unpredictable

you need to accept it

as how you accept the incomparable beauty

of two different flowers

and when you realize that

you will be satisfied one day

if you are reading this right now

I promise you

the sun will rise again

the wildest storms will find an end

and the prettiest flowers will bloom

after the strongest rain

sometimes you are running too fast

until you stumble and fall on the ground

you will always stand up in the end

no matter how much time you need

to stand up again

no matter how much time you need

to heal your scars on your knees

believe me

you will run faster than ever

faster than everyone else

you noticed

I could change everything if I wanted

but you treated me like a psycho

just because I could not see my limits

I dreamt so much bigger and brighter

than everyone else

just to distract myself from my pain

alone I was going forward

I never gave up to live my dream one day

I worked hard to make it

I prayed for the things I needed

my head is in the universe

your framed expectations

won’t bring me down to earth

I am higher than the sun

I can read these jealous people

their green faces are full of envy

they were just too proud to grow

I have never settled for less

I knew they will look up at me one day

like they look up at the moon

because I believed in myself like in a religion

let me tell you