Death with a French Vanilla Splash

By Rena Marin

The search for love and the perfect job continues for resident zombie girl, Zoey Martel. This time though, the job couldn't be better suited. When she was alive coffee was her addiction. Maybe spending her time at French Vanilla Splash, her favorite shop in town, will help her fight her other cravings. Will coffee make her feel alive again or will the hottie at the corner table help cure what ails her?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Crazy Ink
• Release date: Aug 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201548643

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Chapter One

Z oey, would you like to share with the group tonight? I know you have tons of stuff going on in your life right now. Maybe hearing how you’re staying busy and fighting your cravings will help others.

I hate it when Susie addresses me in front of new people. She’s good for this shit. Whenever someone new joins our little eating disorder group, she sticks me out there on display for the world to see. I don’t know why she thinks I have my shit so together. Yes, it’s been a few months since I’ve accidentally eaten anyone. I don’t even count what happened with me and Cunt Leader, the one who ran this group before Susie and whose name I’ve forgotten due to her perfect nickname. I didn’t accidentally eat her. She deserved to die. I did it on purpose.

To keep Susie from pouting like she’s known to do when I tell her no, I throw out my best Zoey smile and suck it up. Having friends can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

Hey y’all, I’m Zoey, of course. I have an issue with binge eating that I’m working on controlling. It’s been a while since I’ve had an incident. When I get upset or go through something messy with a guy, I seem to let my bad habits revisit me. At the suggestion of this group, I started a blog. They told me I needed something to keep me busy. I love blogging. I have fun with it. I talk about everything from fashion to recipes. Since I started helping out at Willow Whispers Rehab Center, I even blog about the animals. In the past month I’ve helped a few find their forever homes.

That’s so amazing, Zoey. I follow your blog. Your posts about the animals are fun reads. You show their real personalities in your words. As a reader, I feel like I know them. The way Susie is sitting with her chest slightly extended and a huge smile on her face tells me she’s proud of what I’ve been accomplishing. I can’t say that I blame her.

Thank you, Susie. I really appreciate that.

Are you planning on working anywhere else or is the rehab going to be your main gig?

Nah, I’m going to find another job now that Anna has hired on another helper. I’m going to help on weekends or days off. I’ve also promised that if she needs to be away from the facility, I’ll do overnights or whatever, so the animals aren’t alone. The money I make there is good and all, but making it out there every day can be a hassle. I’m saving up for a car though.

I love how you have everything in order, Zoey. You know what you need to do, and you’re sticking to it. Without a doubt, that’s helping you with your eating disorder. You’re doing amazingly.

Instead of saying anything else, I just look around at the group of people staring at me and smile. Since Susie took the group over, I must admit, things are more relaxed here. I don’t feel weird talking about stuff. Sure, I need to watch what I say to keep anyone from realizing I’m actually a zombie, but that’s manageable on most days.

Within half an hour, group ends, and I hurry my way out the door while Susie is talking to one of our first timers. I’ve learned not to linger. When I do, I get stuck in conversations with Susie that can go on for hours. By the time I make it home on those nights, Dick and Clyde are worried, and it takes ages to settle them down.

Two months ago, Dick didn’t have to worry when I was out late. Hell, two months ago I didn’t even have Clyde. During the week I spent at the rehab center while Anna was away things got a bit wild. I came to find out my ex-boyfriend and real dickhead Eli had been turned into a zombie. Ya know, normally in that instance I would step in and try to help the guy out. I did it with my friend Charlie when he was turned. But no, not with Eli. This asshole decides that since he’s a zombie, he’ll start up his own horde like out of a fucked-up television show and try to take over the town. His claim was taking over the world, but like with everything else where Eli is concerned, he talks a big game but doesn’t have the equipment to back it up.

The craziness all started with Parker. Yes, Parker is the ass who accidentally turned me into what I am, but he’s also a friend. He’s been by my side through this whole zombie ordeal and hasn’t let me down once. He taught me how to fix my eyes when they get stuck, he repaired my kneecaps after Clyde massively fucked them up, and he’s even taught me how to enjoy sex as a zombie. The whole sex trick is enough to make me bow down and kiss his ass. When he went missing, I got worried. His texts were ominous. He warned me I was in danger. I just had no idea it would be Eli who showed up at the rehab trying to start shit.

Since the ass kicking we gave Eli and his cronies at the center, we haven’t seen hide nor hair of him. I keep my eyes open though. I know he’s simply planning out his next move. Whether that move involves coming after all of us again or not, I have no idea. I try to be ready for it, though, just in case.

It’s strange being the local, dead girl who has to keep her eyes open while she’s walking down the street at night. Before Eli’s attack, I’d stopped caring about danger. I didn’t really feel like I could be in any. Honestly, I assumed I was the danger in the world. My goal was to try not to hurt anyone. I hadn’t planned on me being the target of an ex with a vendetta to grind, who also knows exactly how to take me out if he wants.

After the incident at the rehab, Parker was extremely overprotective. He stayed at my apartment for almost two weeks. I’m not sure if that was more for me or himself, though, to be honest. Eli and his merry band of assholes snatched Parker one day when he was getting in his car after work. He hasn’t told me much about it, but he says they tried to make him help them with their idiotic scheme and offer his medical services for their convenience. Parker politely told them to go get fucked, and well, he paid a price for it.

Seeing Parker in the shape he was in when he rode in to rescue me at the rehab opened my eyes to a lot of things. Keeping up appearances as a zombie is hard as hell. On a good day, Parker looks damn good. After being snatched by Eli and hiding out like he did, it took him awhile to get back to his normal splendor. His spray tan had faded, he had been injured and needed to repair himself since I suck at that stuff, and he lost a tooth. He’s working on getting that fixed, but I’ll be damned if I know how he’s going to do it.

I hadn’t thought much about my tan since Parker mentioned he could hook me up