Buffy's Labor of Love Part 1: She's Resilient: Suppressed But Saved By His Grace

By Kelli Prather

This suspense-filled and emotional novel is based on the author's real life.

Buffy is a well-rounded professional black woman who grew up in the inner city in a strong, supportive family. They weren't perfect or wealthy, however, they were rich in spirit and had a lot of love for each other. Her parents separated early in her l

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palmetto Publishing
• Release date: Jan 26, 2021
• ISBN: 9781649905161

Kelli Prather

Kelli Prather was born and raised in Cincinnati in a family of 13 children. She has several degrees, including an MA in occupational therapy. She is working on a post professional degree in occupational therapy with an emphasis in public policy. After becoming a licensed occupational therapist, Kelli moved to New York City where she worked in settings such as the New York City Department of Education, nursing homes, assisted living facilities, and home health. She spent her free time volunteering in shelters for battered women and the homeless. This volunteer work compelled her to become an advocate for social change with the goal of creating legislation to bring awareness and to help obtain resources for organizations that provide services for these often forgotten populations. Kelli then returned to Cincinnati and entered the civic and political arenas, where she changes people's lives by empowering them to start their own businesses. She has spent more than 25 years advocating for vulnerable, marginalized, oppressed, excluded, and disregarded communities. She fights to protect the political, educational, social, and economic rights of all persons. She also works diligently to eliminate inequality, racial discrimination and inequity in all communities.

Book preview

Chapter 1

WESTSIDE FOR LIFE – ZONE 25

I

spent the bulk of my youth on the Westside of town. We moved from Fairmount to Millvale in 1978 after our parents were forced to separate, because I had medical issues. Mama went to the welfare office to sign up for assistance to pay the hospital bills. Daddy was so upset. He didn’t want his kids to be on welfare. It was really a last resort. Although, my parent separated they never got a divorce. Mama and Daddy, had 13 children over a 25-year period. Me and each of our 11 siblings (Cookie, Gail, Yvonne, Gwen, Richard Jr., Angie, Sandy, Anthony, Toni, Greg and Bryon) could tell you some funny stories. Daddy worked a full-time job and two part-time jobs to make ends meet and to take care of his family. As he aged, Daddy was not able to work as much and the insurance on his primary job started having lifetime maximums. Sadly, Daddy had health issues of his own. Daddy worked in the steel mill and foundry industries after leaving the military. Overtime, Daddy developed COPD and Black Lung Disease.

During that time, President Lyndon B. Johnson encouraged single Moms to sign up for welfare. In the projects, the norm was to get a check, some food stamps and a medical card. Back then it was called Aid for Dependent Children. It really hurt Daddy to not be able to foot the bill for my multiple hospital stays. But he never missed a beat when it came to my hospitalizations. I knew if no one else other than Mama would be there my Daddy would be visiting me. I could always count on my Daddy being there.

After we moved to the projects, I remember on the first of the month, the parking lots would be full of men coming to visit their women. When the food ran out, the stamps were gone, and the check was spent the men went on their way. Not my Daddy, he was there every weekend, and during the week whenever Mama needed him.

When we moved to Millvale in 1978, there were so many people in our family that Mama, qualified for a double unit at 3378 and 3380 Millvale Circle. Seven of Mama’s 12 children lived in that apartment and one Grandbaby Leticia (at that time Mama had seven grandchildren – Colette, Traci, Nina, Marc, Ericka, Leticia and Kes). Mama so passionately referred to Leticia as her Teeta Wheat. Teeta Wheat was obviously Mama’s favorite grandbaby. But, of course, I could not say that around my other nieces and nephews, because they would get jealous. GrandMommy, as they so passionately called Mama, made each of her children and grandbabies feel and believe they were her favorite. It still amazes me to think that I had two nieces waiting on Their Favorite Auntie to be born. I say that jokingly, they were never able to make the connection or see me as their Aunt, in their eyes, I was just Buffy. Daddy would tell stories about visiting his wife Glo and his oldest daughter Cookie in the hospital at the same time after they both gave birth. At one point, Mama and 3 of my oldest sisters were all pregnant at the same time. The visual still cracks me up. I heard our household was a big comedy show, I mean, it was pure comedy. My big sister Gail lived in Texas with the love of her life, her high school sweetheart turned husband, Chuckie. Gail, had my niece Collette, in December 1971. Our parents were so proud of their first Grandbaby. Collette, was the first of a new generation of a loving breed of people. My niece Traci is three days older than I am and back in the day, when we were born, women stayed in the hospital for at least a week after giving birth. Cookie went into labor, Daddy rushed her to General Hospital and three days labor he rushed Mama in to have Moi. The Baby Girl. (smiling). Later, that year my sister Gwen had Nina. It was interesting growing up the same age as three of my nieces and close in age to a few of my other nieces and my nephew Marc We were raised like sisters and brothers, but I was Their AUNT. And, from time to time, I would make sure they knew it. I was Aunt Buffy (giggling).

Remember our parents had children over a 25-year span. Once, I asked Mama, why she had so many children?

Mama, most of my friends have small families, like one brother and one sister, a Mama and Daddy. Why is our family so big? Who do you have so many babies?

WE, have children, me and your Daddy have children.

Ok, so why did you and Daddy have so many children?

Mama said, Because every time, we had a baby after the baby started walking, your Daddy said that was his baby so, I had to have a new one, if I wanted a baby.

That made me laugh. Then I said, "Oh, that’s why Daddy said. I will always be his baby girl forever and Bryon is your baby?

Mama said, "You will forever be my baby girl too, but yes that is why he said that. And guess how many babies we said we were gonna have?’

How many Mama?

We said we were gonna have twenty babies?

Twenty? I repeated

Yes, twenty big fat babies.

I giggled and said, "Well what happened Mama? Why did you stop after Bryon?

Mama said, Because I had the best babies in the world, and it couldn’t get any better than my baby girl Buffy and my baby boy Bryon.

Are we your favorite kids Mama. I asked

Mama replied, Yes, but don’t tell your brothers and sisters. I don’t want them to get jealous.

I giggled and said, Ok Mama, I won’t tell them. I don’t believe Mama enjoyed being pregnant at the same time as my older sister. Mama, loved to take care of her babies and grandbabies. I believe she couldn’t be there for my sisters as much as she would have like to since she was also prego.

Mama and Daddy really did make all their children feel extremely special. And we all believed we had the best parents in the world. Mama and I were a lot alike, but I was really a Daddy’s Girl. Daddy was my hero.

When Mama and Daddy separated, Daddy moved to the West End. I remember his first address was 1828 Baymiller and his neighbors name were Mr. Gus and Mr. Smitty. I later found out that Mr. Gus rented rooms to men down the way (That is what they called the West End). We were all scared of Mr. Gus, because he only had one leg and our Big Brother Punkin said Mr. Gus was a pirate, he only had one leg and he had a hook in place of his hand. The thought was terrifying.

The only time we were allowed to go to the West End when I was little was to see our grandparents Daddy Fred and Nan who lived in Park Town Coop apartments, or if Daddy had to run into his apartment to get something. I always wondered why Mama didn’t want us to hang downtown. I wondered what was so bad about the West End. I knew that I would learn all about the West End later, but for now I just wanted to stay away from Mr. Gus.

During the week, Daddy worked at Buckeye Foundry on Beekman Street. That place was so dusty. I remember it being filthy. Daddy would be filled with black soot every time he got off work. But he never complained, Daddy worked there for years. Every day, I called Daddy around 5:00 pm as soon as I thought he was off work. We had the same conversation daily.

Hi Daddy.

Hey Buffy.

Daddy what you doing?

Cooking me something to eat.

I always told Daddy what Mama was cooking and that I was sure there was enough for him. There was never a shortage of food in our household. Mama always cooked more than enough for everyone.

Whenever, I reminded Daddy that there was enough for him, I could see his grin through the phone, Baby, I gotta work tomorrow. But tell your Mama to save me a plate?

"Ok, Daddy I will tell her.

My next question to Daddy, of course, was, What are you cooking? Sometimes Daddy would tell me what he was cooking before I had a chance to ask. Especially on days when he was making dishes that he knew I, well everyone in our family, loved like mixed greens and macaroni and cheese. He had a secret recipe for his mixed greens, and I was lucky enough to be the only person he shared his recipe with. Daddy knew he could throw down in the kitchen.

Whenever, Daddy picked us up to go to Kroger in Camp Washington, he would wait in the car because he knew Mama was going to use those ‘damn food stamps.’

Daddy was full of pride and did not want to be seen with anyone in HIS family using food stamps to buy groceries. But he understood it was just a means to justify the end.

Our family was extremely interesting to say the least. And, we really enjoyed being together. We were one huge, humble family.

Even though, our family was so large, Daddy always managed to take all of us on annual road trips. Our annual road trips to Buford, GA (our parents and three oldest sisters birth place) and Michigan City, IN (the birthplace of all of other siblings expect Bryon) were the best. Bryon and I were the only two who were born in Cincinnati.

Daddy decided to move his family to Ohio when work in the historic Indiana steel mills slowed down. He also wanted to get his wife out of Michigan City and away from the damn drama. Lord, the stories we heard about life in Michigan City was drama, drama, and more damn drama. It takes Yvonne to tell it. She keeps it one hunnit (100). If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it’s a motherfuckin’ duck. And Yvonne would let you know.

Anyway, Daddy knew what was best for his Wife and his babies. Mama’s parents Daddy Fred and Nan lived in Cincinnati, so they would be able to visit them more.

Everybody loved Daddy. He was an all-around great guy and would do anything for anyone. Family was everything to Daddy. Some people didn’t understand that his family came first. Honestly, some people didn’t want our parents to be together, and they let it be known. From time to time they would act a damn fool. But Daddy didn’t care what they thought. He loved his Wife regardless. Glo was his Big Thick Baaaby.

Daddy worked Monday through Friday, but every weekend he was with his family and we got all his attention. Our family was everything to Daddy and he made sure we knew we were the best. He taught us to take care of each other and love each other unconditionally. We were never dependent on outside relationships because we lived with our first friends. Together we lived our best life. Our motto has always been, Nothing Before Family.

All throughout my youth Mom was a Jehovah’s Witness. After rearing, child after child, and witnessing their challenges, Mama became extremely overprotective of her four youngest children. After my big sister Sandy got her own apartment and moved out, our house started feeling like a juvenile detention center, 2020. Everybody had to be in the yard when the sunset, then we had to be in the house showered and getting ready for bed when the streetlights came on. And Mama really was a dedicated Jehovah’s Witness. She always discouraged us from spending too much time with the wrong type of people. So, everybody couldn’t come play in Our Yard. I remember Mama saying spending time with the wrong people wouldn’t be worth the unnecessary trouble they could cause. Instead of dealing with a lot of worldly people, Mama encouraged us to lean on each other and the Witnesses who understood the teachings of Jehovah. It was not until later in life that I would be able to understand how her loving, protection and discouragement from dealing with the wrong type of people would have such an impact on my life. Again our family’s motto has also been Nothing Before Family". The older I got the more I appreciate the importance of putting family first.

Chapter 2

MOVING ON UP TO THE EASTSIDE

I

n 1984, after living in Millvale for 6 years, we moved to the eastside of Cincinnati. We had some great times in Millvale and we formed some lifelong friendships, but to our surprise we were moving. Mom was blessed with a house for keeping our apartment immaculate.

Back in the day, when you lived in the projects, you had annual inspections. Whenever the property manager inspected our apartment, Mama got a five-star rating. Daddy gets part of the credit for that. A couple nights before our inspection, Daddy would stay all night and we would have a GI party. That’s when he would always put his military training into action. We scrubbed the walls from top to bottom, scrubbed the floors and did everything possible to make sure that the property manager would be thoroughly impressed with our apartment. All our efforts worked. Mama won another Good Neighbor Certificate that year. We helped but Mama knew how to take care of a home. Not only was the property manager impressed with how well Mama kept our home, but also how well she raised her children. We were raised with manners and the office never received a complaint about anything that happened in our home. People in the hood, Millvale, seemed to enjoy reporting you to "the office. We knew better than to act up because Mama always told us that we were a reflection of her. That year Mama won a Housing Choice Voucher (Section 8) certificate and she searched for a place to move from the list of houses the property Manager gave her.

Mama was excited to be able to move her babies out of the hood. But we wanted to stay in our neighborhood, Millvale. I pleaded with Mama for my siblings, well for Us. I was always the one who fought for justice in our home. Whenever anything didn’t seem or feel right to me, I would always voice my opinion. More often that I would have liked voicing my opinion resulted in a fierce tongue lashing, and sometimes a good whooping, but, in my mind, my opinion was always valuable. As, I aged, I learned to be a tad more graceful and strategic when offering my opinion. Regardless Mama, stayed the same, offered similar tongue lashings and kicked my butt when she felt I deserved it. As, I grew up it seemed she roughed me up more and more. I used to think, Damn Mama can fight. Oh, well, like they say, spare the rod and spoil the child. I knew she loved me and was just trying to keep her household in order. Mama was definitely the disciplinarian in our family, and Daddy was the protector. Daddy was a VFW, he served in the Korean War. Let Daddy tell it, it was more of a conflict. We always reminded Daddy if people died, it was a war. I believe that was Daddy’s way of minimizing it all and coping through what had to be an extremely stressful situation. Overall, Daddy was authentic, genuine and loved his family. Our family has some funny and amazing stories about Daddy, especially regarding his gun collection.

No matter which Roberts Rule Book, Constitution or Encyclopedia I tried to pull an excuse from so we could stay in Millvale, Mama, was not hearing it and we were moving regardless.

Mama, can’t we just wait until the end of the school year to move? I asked.

No, they said the house would be ready at the beginning of the year and it’s ready, so we are moving. Mama replied.

But this is my last year at Covedale, I made the honor roll and if we move now, I’m going to miss the awards assembly and I won’t get my certificates. I said.

Mama snapped back, The school will mail your certificates.

But what about the Kingdom Hall. Mama did not like missing the meetings. Daddy can’t come all the way from his job, to take us to the Hall on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. Mama, did not have a driver’s license and although my older sisters and brothers said she used to drive, I never saw her drive.

Buffy, the Kingdom Hall is right around the corner. We can walk to the meetings.

But Mama, I pouted.

But Mama, Nothing. (Mama was getting irritated) We are moving, so go upstairs and start cleaning out your dresser drawers. When Mama gave you that look and wanted to end the conversation, it ended without a debate.

Mama, found a house in Madisonville, that she really liked that house because it had enough space for our family. So, that was going to be our new home. The house we were moving into was nice with large spacious rooms, but it only had