It's Just Me: My Real Life Test

By Cecilia Wilson

IT'S JUST ME is a true story about Cecilia Wilson's real life test. As a young boy growing up in the early 1960's he knew he was different but didn't know how to explain it. Someone predicted he would be a preacher when he grew up. But what was he supposed to do about his gender identity? He could not reconcile his love for God and desire to be

• Language: English
• Publisher: CanyonWalker Press
• Release date: May 21, 2014
• ISBN: 9781619200319

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It’s Just Me

My Real Life Test

CECILIA WILSON

It’s Just Me

Published by:

Canyonwalker Press

Reno, NV USA

www.CanyonWalkerPress.com

Edited by: Michaeline June Frost and Elaine Bellamore Phillips

Cover design by Andrea Ferguson, 320Designs.com

Cover photography by: Jessica Cabaniss, J.Renee Design Studio, Houston Texas

Copyright © 2014 by Rev. Cecilia Wilson

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014939651

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission of the author.

Most Scriptures quoted are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION [NIV]

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society.

Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

ISBN: 978-1-61920-030-2

DEDICATION

Every year around the world, hundreds of T-Girls and Transmen are brutally murdered. They are beaten to death; they are shot, and so many other horrific things happen to them simply because they chose to stand for their freedom. In November of each year a day is set aside to remember our dead - The Transgender Community Day of Remembrance. This book is dedicated to my sisters and brothers who have fallen. We will not forget.

I want to dedicate this book to the pioneers who were the first to step out and risk everything to live the life they believed was intended for them. You paved the way for us to follow and I thank you.

To all those who will follow in my footsteps, I hope and pray I have led with integrity and paved a clear path for you to walk on. I pray you will find hope and inspiration in these pages. I dedicate this book to you.

On behalf of T-Girls and Transmen around the world, to all the wonderful folks who support professionals, family, friends and us who love us and treat us with respect and dignity, we thank you. You have been there through our trials and victories holding us, loving us, and giving us the encouragement to keep fighting for our very lives. We owe you a debt of gratitude we will never be able to repay. On behalf of all T-Girls and Transmen who have gone before and those who will follow I lovingly dedicate this book to you.

MY BIGGEST FAN

I was the youngest of three kids and my mother had her hands full. She took care of the house, our Daddy and us kids. She could cook, oh could she ever cook. I loved eating her cooking. When I was very young she did not go to church or know who Jesus was but she sent us kids to church every Sunday.

As I grew into my teenage years I was a rebellious young kid getting into trouble at school and missing the bus so I did not have to go, but she loved me anyway.

I became a young adult and started making my own way through life and she continued to work hard because that was all she knew to do. I moved around a lot in my early adult years but I always came home for the best Christmas dinner anyone could ever want.

When I told her about all my business ventures and crazy new ideas she smiled and said, That’s good.

When I told her I believed God was calling me in to the Ministry, she said, GO FOR IT!

My Mama: Truly my biggest fan.

When she told me she had received the baptism of the Holy Spirit I was full of joy and so happy for her.

When I found out she was ill and needed my care I sold my business and went home to care for her.

When her health declined and Jesus took her home to her mansion in Heaven I had the highest honor of officiating at her memorial service, because I was her biggest fan.

She was my Mama.

FORWARD

There have been many books written and published on the subject of homosexuality and the Bible. What has been lacking in academia is the information ministers and laity need pertaining to our transgender brothers and sisters. There has been a lack of understanding and compassion dedicated to these wonderful people who often are marginalized by everyone including the GLB community.

I have attempted to make a difference by reaching out to those who represent the T in GLBT. However, until I met the Rev. Cecilia Wilson, I had very little firsthand knowledge of what being transgender really meant. Her integrity and desire to make a difference caused me to ask questions and become informed.

As a Pastor and leader of a 21st Century Christian, grassroots, spirit-filled and affirming movement founded in 2000, it pleases me to endorse this contribution of journalism and to have it available for any resource library. It will serve as an informational handbook on this very timely subject and issue, which faces the families of millions of individuals in our world today.

Rev. Cecilia Wilson is a godly transgender woman with zeal to see individuals, churches and communities transformed by knowledge and the love of Jesus Christ to become havens of safety and rest for those who live as transgender persons.

Buy this book, read it, and then share it with those who feel forgotten and lonely and also those who desire to reach out and embrace those who are transgender. I believe this book will serve as a golden nugget of information, which will enlighten readers on every level.

Bishop Randy Duncan,

Chief Presiding Presbyter

Reconciling Pentecostals International

Founding Pastor, New Life Connect Point

La Porte, Indiana

CONTENTS

1. IN THE BEGINNING, GOD . . .

2. THE EARLY YEARS

3. DADDY’S SHADOW

4. GROWING UP PENTECOSTAL

5. HANK

6. FIRST TIMOTHY

7. TRANSITION

8. LIVING A NEW LIFE

9. TELLING MAMA

10. REJECTION

11. MY KIDS

12. T M I

13. JUNE

14. MAMA’S HOMECOMING

15. SAYING GOODBYE

16. SECOND TIMOTHY

17. ANSWERING THE CALL

18. R P I

19. LIVING BY FAITH

20. OPHELIA

21. 57 AND COUNTING

22. IN THE END, GOD

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

chapter

CHAPTER 1

IN THE BEGINNING, GOD . . .

THE DAY I was born the doctors told my Mama I would be mentally challenged and would need constant care all my life. The shock was too much for my father. He told Mama to leave me at the hospital . . . or he would leave her. This was the ultimate ultimatum. Mama was being told to choose between her husband and me, her newborn child.

As she held me in her arms in that sterile Houston hospital, tears began to flow like a river. How could she give me up when I was so vulnerable?

Doctors said I would likely grow up to be severely mentally retarded, as they put it back in 1956. This was a time when families usually gave their mentally challenged children to the state to be warehoused in large institutions.

There is nothing stronger than a mother’s bond with her baby. But no woman would want to face such a painful choice. Mama could not imagine handing her baby to strangers and have to live out the rest of her life never knowing what happened to her precious, fragile child. It was not in her to do such a thing.

You would have had to have known that courageous young lady with two toddlers was not about to leave me at the hospital. My Mother took me home. Her choice to love me just as I was born cost her a terrible price.

My father, a professional truck driver, stayed true to his threat. He drove off in his big rig and never came back. He chose not to have a broken child. He did not want to be seen as a man who fathered a less than perfect son. He may not have been from Texas, but he had pride the size of Texas.

My Mother never saw or heard from him again. Soon after my father left, my Mother had to get a divorce and continue with her life alone, the sole provider for three little children.

Things were not easy for her in those days. Job choices were very limited for women. This was the era that inspired the TV show, Leave it to Beaver and mothers were supposed to be home baking cookies while wearing a string of pearls.

Mama was out working her tail off. She waitressed in restaurants all around the Houston area so she could take care of us kids. Mama was willing to do whatever it took to care for her children. She was a fierce fighter like a Mama bear.

She almost lost me again when I was only three months old. The apartment building we lived in caught fire. Mama was in the office of the apartments when it happened. My brother and sister were with her, but she left me sleeping in my crib since she would only be gone a very brief time. Someone came running in and said her apartment was on fire. She realized I was in my crib inside the burning building.

A man who was in the office when the fire broke out ran inside the burning building. He covered his mouth with his handkerchief so he could breathe and somehow found his way to me. This stranger rescued me from my crib and brought me to safety. It takes someone with a special heart to risk his own life to save the life of someone they don’t know. I guess you could say he was my guardian angel and he would be around me forever after that.

You see, a few months after the fire happened, the stranger married my Mother. He became Daddy and later adopted all three of us kids. He was the opposite of my father in my life. My biological father chose to leave me because I was not the kind of child he wanted. He rejected me because he was afraid of what I might become and of how others would see him if they found out about me.

But Daddy put his life on the line for me even before he knew a thing about me. And he loved Mama, my sister, my brother, and me and gave us