Launch Your Kid: How to Promote Your Child's Academic and Personal Success (without being a helicopter parent)

By Jane Kristoffy

In Launch Your Kid, Jane Kristoffy, MEd, advises parents how to get their kids through school and prepare them for the real world. She empowers parents with simple strategies that can minimize their feelings such as overwhelm, worry, and helplessness. In her no-nonsense, down-to-earth discussion about how to promote kids' academic and p

• Language: English
• Publisher: YGTMama Media Co. Press
• Release date: Jan 21, 2021
• ISBN: 9781989716083

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"Launch Your Kid by Jane Kristoffy is engaging, helpful, and most of all, practical! While based on experience and research, the writing is accessible, parent-friendly, and packed with suggestions you can try today. As a fellow mom and teacher, I found myself nodding along with so many tips I can vouch for, and I was excited to pick up new ideas to implement with my students, daughters, and even myself (see the Pomodoro). If you want to launch your child successfully, it’s never too soon to prepare, and Launch Your Kid has you covered!"

Kate Winn, teacher and founder of This Mom Loves |

www.thismomloves.ca | T/FB @thismomloves | IG @katethismomloves

As parents, we desperately want to see our children succeed. However, I find that many parents struggle to strike the right balance between supporting their kids and smothering them. What are intended as helpful gestures can unintentionally create missed opportunities for learning critical life skills, and parents are often left wondering just how they can prepare their child for life in the real world" effectively. Launch Your Kid fills in this gap. With practical, easy-to-implement strategies backed by educational literature and Jane’s professional experience, this book offers parents a comprehensive approach to raising young adults ready to make their own way in the world."

Dr. Carly Crewe, MD Psychotherapist, Women’s Mental Health + Anxiety Expert | www.carlycrewe.com | IG @carlycrewe

"As a mom of three, including one teenager, Launch Your Kid is a book I will revisit again and again! Jane has created an amazing guidebook that provides clear and comprehensive tools and strategies that will allow parents to support their children and teens in preparing to launch into the real world!"

Tiana Fech, Educator, Podcast Host, Author |

www.theparttimejungle.com | IG and FB @parttimejungle

"Jane has put together the book that guarantees your child won’t be living in your basement at age thirty (unless you want them to!) Launch Your Kid is full of actionable strategies that kids and parents today need. Her wide-ranging recommendations (from how to set up a study area to telephone manners) are often ‘common sense’ but very easy to lose sight of when we are too busy with our modern lives and/or are anxious about our child’s future. Your future self and grown-up kids will thank you for reading this book!"

Sarah Rosensweet, Parent Coach, Speaker and Parenting Advice Columnist for Canada’s The Globe and Mail Newspaper | www.SarahRosensweet.com

"As a principal, I cannot wait to get a copy of Launch Your Kid into the hands of parents and teachers to share Jane’s insight on the skills that really matter. It is a straightforward guide with a no-nonsense approach for teaching our children important twenty-first-century skills, values, and competencies for success."

Julie Benneyworth, Principal and Co-owner of Star Academy |

www.staracademy.ca

"Short on time and energy, you will want to read Launch Your Kid. It is filled with information and ideas to equip and empower you to provide learning support. Whether you are a teacher, a parent, a counselor, a coach, or are simply passionate about journeying alongside kids, this book is a must-have, must-read!"

Lindsay Sealey, MA Ed., Founder and CEO of Bold New Girls & Brave New Boys | Author of Growing Strong Girls and Rooted, Resilient, and Read |

www.LindsaySealey.com | IG @BoldNewGirls @BraveNewBoys

For Caitlin and Connor,

who teach me the most valuable lessons.

Table Of Contents

Prologue

Introduction

Part 1: Promoting Academic Success: Getting Through School

Learning Skills: What Are They?

Organization

Time Management

Responsibility and Independence

Problem-Solving and Critical Thinking

Self-Advocacy

Collaboration

Self-Regulation, Self-Control, and Executive Function

Productivity

Self-Motivation

Preparation

Goal Setting

Procrastination-Busting

Eliminating Distractions

Pomodoro Method

Dealing with an Off Day

Time Management Method

Time Management Tools

Big Calendar: Semester View

Weekly Schedule

The Daily To-Do List

Smartphone Reminders and Alerts

Exam Study Scheduling

Fractions of Time

Cramming

The Overlooked Basics

Grammar

Cursive Writing

Spelling

Math Fundamentals

Part 2: Promoting Personal Success: Preparing to Launch

Twenty-First Century Skills

Growth Mindset

Grit

Work Ethic

Lifelong Learning and Curiosity

The 6 Cs: Global Competencies

Emotional Intelligence

Soft Skills

Resilience

Personal Development

Healthy Lifestyle

Nutrition

Sleep

Exercise

Self-Care

Hygiene and Physical Health

Hobbies, Fun, Social Life

Skills

Conversation Skills

First Impressions

Small Talk

Manners

The Basics

Table Manners

Handwritten Notes and Thank-You Cards

Email and Telephone Manners

Personal Branding

Digital Footprint

Life Skills and Chores

Adulting

Interests and Passions

Boredom

Reading for Life

Part 3 : Next Steps: Intervention Options

Teach by Example

Use Teachable Moments

Outsource

You’re the Tutor

Free-Range Parenting versus Helicopter Parenting

Part 4: Study Skills Toolbox for students

Many Ways to Study

Mind Maps

Flashcards

Memorization and Memory

How to Make Study Notes

How to Read Nonfiction

Speed-Reading

Math Exam Prep

Tips for Test Day (and the Night Before)

Tips for Math Exams

How to Write Multiple Choice Tests

Part 5: Wrap Up

Author Bio

Acknowledgements

Bibliography

Glossary

Prologue

I’ve spent my career working with children and adolescents. Most of that time I’ve also been a parent, and recently, I’ve been a single parent. This reality has intensified the experience for me, especially during my kids’ teen phase; I’m on my own to navigate the ups and downs of raising them, but it has resulted in deeper, stronger relationships among the three of us. Over the years I’ve read hundreds of books and articles about teaching and parenting, and like many other professionals, I’ve participated in professional development workshops and courses. I embrace many of the ideas I’m exposed to, but not all of them. I’m enthusiastic about continuously improving my practices and trying new things (sometimes to my two kids’ chagrin!).

Several years ago I sat in a presentation about helicopter parenting. The information caught my attention because it mirrored the ways of many parents in my school community and personal network. I recognized my own parenting habits in some of the points. Years later I was stopped in my tracks when I picked up a book on this very topic.

Reading How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims was an eye-opening experience for me as a parent and educator. With her close look at helicopter parenting and its impact, the information forced me to put my own parenting and teaching approaches under the microscope. Quickly and thoroughly, I adjusted my habits to better support my kids’ healthy personal development, while also encouraging them to take risks and be more independent.

A helicopter parent is an overbearing, overprotective, and overscheduling parent who focuses too much on his children, and it’s the wrong kind of focus. A helicopter parent pays extremely close attention to a child’s experiences and problems, particularly during the educational journey. Helicopter parents hover overhead, constantly overseeing every aspect of their child’s life. This parenting style can have harmful effects on adolescents’ mental health, as it limits the development of important skills such as resilience and self-efficacy. The helicopter parenting style became popular in the eighties, and the term was coined by Foster Cline and Jim Fay in 1990.

This said, helicopter parents are not all bad. They parent with the very best intentions, a great amount of love, and they want the best for their kids! They hover because they fear their children might not succeed in the world. Out of love and caring, helicopter parents will do anything and everything to protect their kids and to make their lives incredible.

I feel compelled to share my ideas with other parents about Lythcott-Haims’ work as well as my related experiences in teaching, counseling, and parenting. I believe we (parents) can make a positive impact on how we’re raising our children (no matter what stage they’re in) just by getting more aware of how we parent as well as more aware of some of the academic and personal skills students need to develop in order to thrive in the twenty-first century.

I’ve done several presentations to parent and school groups on this topic over the past few years. The feedback I get is incredibly positive, and parents rave that the tips and suggestions are easy to implement and make a significant impact. This book is an extension of my presentation.

How to use the book

This is a reference book, intended for readers to jump from one section to another, based on one’s need in a given moment. Flip to the end of a section to find lists of tips and suggestions for parents and students. There may be some repetition of ideas, for emphasis. Part 4: The Study Skills Toolbox is for students, but I recommend parents take a look at it too!

Important note

In my writing, I use the subject pronouns he/she and object pronouns his/her interchangeably and equally simply for the sake of reading ease. There is no intent to label one gender over the other or to disregard those who do not identify with a specific gender.

As an educational strategist and consultant, and founder of Right Track Educational Services, my mission is to help my students thrive, academically and personally. I want them to achieve academic and personal success. In one-on-one and group sessions, we work on their development of the skills and habits highlighted in this book.

I wrote Launch Your Kid along Right Track’s guiding principles of The Academic Success System. Using this system, I support my students to move from a state of worry, confusion, overwhelm, and lack of direction to one of calm, confidence, motivation, and readiness to thrive.

No matter what stage your child is at in his educational journey, he can benefit from the straightforward steps in The Academic Success System, and there’s a great deal you can do at home to support him. Consider this book to be a "Parent’s Guide to The Academic Success System."

Introduction

I talk with concerned parents in many contexts: in my own peer and family network, in schools, in my private consulting business, and when I do workshops and presentations. They tell me about their fears and concerns, plus the worries that keep them awake at night. The matters range from education to mental health to sleep routines. As a parent who’s raising teenagers, I can relate to many of their stresses. Despite more than twenty-five years as an educator working with children and teens, I can tell you that as a parent, I’m in the trenches with you regarding some matters. Parenting is not for the faint of heart.

Parents are scared sometimes. They feel helpless and overwhelmed, believing they don’t have the skills or knowledge to guide and support their kids to become capable young adults. They don’t know where to turn with their kids’ issues at school, in their social circles, and their personal development. They’re terrified about life after graduation and whether their kids will have what it takes to make it.

Off the top, I’m guessing your kids will be just fine. I’m going to show you there are several strategies parents (you!) can put in place to guide your teens and tweens in the right direction.

Read on.

During workshops and presentations, I collect information from my parent audiences. Using paper and pens for feedback and comments, I ask, What keeps you up at night? Parents willingly and often desperately share their worst-case scenarios and the aspects of parenting in which they lack direction and confidence.

They report worries on the same themes, including mental health, academic success, and readiness to launch into the real world (postsecondary and career pathways). Here are some specifics:

THEMES and SUB-THEMES

Academic success:

Learning skills. The kids aren’t performing up to their potential in school and lack important skills such as organization, time management, and self-regulation.

Study skills. They haven’t honed their personal study style and won’t be ready for the heavy, complex content that comes in later stages of education.

Interests and passions. Many tweens and teens are apathetic. They have no special activity that excites, inspires, or motivates them. They’re drawn to gaming, screen binges, and social media.

Readiness to launch and the job market:

Hard and soft skills. Parents lack awareness of these categories and why they matter.

Twenty-first century skills. What are they? What are the skills kids need for the world we live in?

Volunteer, internship, and employment experiences for their teens. Parents wonder how much experience is enough and how to fit it all into busy schedules.

Mental health and behavior:

suicide

depression/anxiety

apathy

reclusiveness

bullying

addiction: alcohol, vaping, screens, drugs

sexual promiscuity and hookup culture

Negative digital activity:

screen-time boundaries with time and location of use: screen obsession and addiction

permanence of activities online and status of their digital footprint

a change in family traditions and lifestyles:

not enough togetherness, resulting from limitless options for device streaming and the overprogramming of schedules

breakdown of the family dinner

The intent of this book is to discuss parents’ concerns in the context of today’s world and address them with some simple suggestions parents can use on a daily basis without first having to earn a teaching degree or get training to be a psychologist or social worker. These suggestions can help parents support the development of capable, smart, polished, grounded young people who are ready to launch into the real world, the one that’s waiting for them.

A new job market awaits our graduates, a market that looks vastly different from the one we, their parents, launched into a generation before. Our children may create or acquire jobs that do not yet exist at this time, and they’ll earn their livelihood and compensation working remotely, using different communication tools and schedules in ways we never thought imaginable.

How do we prepare our kids for this horizon while managing the prevailing social forces and trends and reconciling with our personal and family values? And all these demands while adhering to the accepted lifestyle of striving for the norm of overprogramming—and being busy all the time?

I wrote this book to share some ways to help you prepare your children and teens for their exciting lives and the world ahead. I offer suggestions about how to get them through school days and exams seasons and then further

Reviews for Launch Your Kid

[Chiringo · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Nice book with practical guides to launch kids into adulthood