PACE Toward Peace: What Everyone Should Know About End-of-Life Care

By Kim Gladstone and Laurie Wolf

This book is for people who are, or know someone, who is dying from a chronic condition. Read it if you want to understand what the dying person and those who love them will experience an

• Language: English
• Publisher: A Happy Daisy, LLC
• Release date: May 15, 2020
• ISBN: 9781734321616

Book preview

PACE Toward Peace

What Everyone Should Know About End-of-Life Care

Kim Gladstone, RN, CHPN and Laurie Wolf, PhD

A Happy Daisy, LLC

Published by A Happy Daisy, LLC, St. Louis, MO

Copyright ©2020 Kim Gladstone, RN, CHPN and Laurie Wolf, PhD

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to Permissions Department, A Happy Daisy, LLC, [e-mail].

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

Cover and Interior design: Davis Creative, DavisCreative.com

Publisher’s Cataloging-In-Publication Data

(Prepared by The Donohue Group, Inc.)

Names: Gladstone, Kim, author. | Wolf, Laurie (Laurie Dawn), 1959- author.

Title: PACE toward peace : what everyone should know about end-of-life care / Kim Gladstone, RN, CHPN, Laurie Wolf PhD.

Description: St. Louis, MO : A Happy Daisy, [2020] | Partnering, Assisting, Caring, Ending.

Identifiers: ISBN 9781734321609 | ISBN 9781734321616 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Terminal care--Popular works. | Terminally ill--Popular works. | Death--Planning-Popular works. | BISAC: SELF-HELP / Death, Grief, Bereavement. | FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Death, Grief, Bereavement. | MEDICAL / Terminal Care.

Classification: LCC R726.8 .G53 2020 (print) | LCC R726.8 (ebook) | DDC 616.02/9--dc23

2020

ATTENTION CORPORATIONS, UNIVERSITIES, COLLEGES AND PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATIONS: Quantity discounts are available on bulk purchases of this book for educational, gift purposes, or as premiums for increasing magazine subscriptions or renewals. Special books or book excerpts can also be created to fit specific needs. For information, please contact A Happy Daisy, LLC, [e-mail].

This book is dedicated to our Moms:

Evelyn Lucile Zysset Wolf (Dillie) and Mary Ann Fuchs Prives.

They taught us about life

when we were young,

aging while we grew old,

and end-of-life as they neared theirs.

Thank you.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 | Partnering

Chapter 2 | Assisting

Chapter 3 | Caring

Chapter 4 | Ending

Appendix A (PACE Mnemonic)

Appendix B (Examples of Important Tasks)

Appendix C (PACE Checklist)

Appendix D (Activities of Daily Living [ADLs])

Appendix E (The Senses)

References

About the Authors

Introduction

Mae has lived with cancer for nearly 30 years. She is a clever, accomplished wife, mother, writer, artist, and disrupter. She lives every day with the knowledge that death is coming and because of that, she lives large. She’s also superstitious and won’t say the words death or cancer out loud. Now in her mid-70s, she still expects to live twenty more years, and she’s lightening up just a bit on her superstitions. At a recent holiday dinner, she joked with her family that when her time comes, she wants to be made into soup. Her family members were astonished, aghast, and grossed out. They protested loudly until one niece spoke up, offering several recipes that could be Mae’s soup. One would be spicy, another sweet, and of course, one a little sour. No one was grossed out anymore, and no one will ever forget that lead-in or the discussion that followed.

Mae’s creativity and ability to talk about her mortality in a creative way gives us a blueprint to change how we look at death. Mae and her family may be facing mortality, but they’ve chosen to do it consciously with love and laughter—a guaranteed recipe for an experience of a lifetime.

This book is dedicated to those who dare to think about the last six months of life so they can live every moment, in the moment.

Why this book now?

Public health advances, improved technology, and medicine have evolved to lengthen our lifespans. Many people now live well into their 80s and 90s, and unlike people who lived a century ago, most of us won’t die quickly—within hours or days that is. Most of us will die gradually, over several months, from a chronic disease that we’ve lived with for months, years, or even decades. For the most part, we can’t predict exactly when the last breath will be, but it’s becoming more common that we can predict when it’s coming.

Even though this change is occurring and we now have a better idea about when and what we might die from, we haven’t quite caught up with what it means for each of us and what could be done to improve the experience of dying gradually.

What you should know:

When a life-limiting diagnosis becomes known, a ripple effect occurs. The dying person is clearly the most profoundly impacted; but their caregiver, their family, and their friends are impacted too. Death happens to an individual, but dying is typically a communal experience. This book describes the impact and actions that can be taken by the different people involved in a gradual death.

This book is not for everyone. Our cultural and societal views on death influence how we experience the death of our loved ones, as well as our own death. This resource is for those who are curious, or are planners, or those who want to help but don’t know how. It is for those who want to know more about the process of gradual death, or those who want to die in a way that keeps their family and friends involved and