Teeny Tiny Stories From the Marinated Jungle

By Lee Widener

THIS IS NOT A CHILDREN'S BOOK!

Freaky fables for these crazy times! Move over Aesop! Ten Weird Animal Fables from the warped mind of Author Lee Widener. Modern day fables with very odd morals and off-kilter life lessons, accompanied by ten original photo collages by the author. Meet the Squirrel Who Knew Nothing! Meet the Slug of Madness!

• Language: English
• Publisher: NeverEndingWonder Books
• Release date: Jun 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781087885964

Lee Widener

Lee Widener writes and makes weird art in Portland, Oregon. He lives with his wife DC , their dog Rossi and Rosie the cat. His past work includes "ROCK N ROLL HEAD CASE" and "UNDER THE SHANGHAI TUNNELS and OTHER WEIRD TALES." You can find his weird artwork on WelcomeToWeirdsville.com He believes you might as well go ahead and laugh.

Book preview

Teeny tiny stories

from the

marinated jungle

TEN WEIRD ANIMAL FABLES

lee widener

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Portland, Oregon

NeverEndingWonder Books

Portland, Oregon

NeverEndingWonderBooks.com

ISBN: 978-1-0878-8596-4

Teeny Tiny Stories From the Marinated Jungle copyright © 2020 Lee Widener

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written consent of the author, except where permitted by law.

Dedicated to DC. You showed me it's never too late for dreams to come true. May our journey together never end.

TEENY TINY TABLE OF CONTENTS

The Stone Faced Snake

The Squirrel Who Knew Nothing

The Elephant With the Magic Trunk

The Lion Who Thought He Was King

Ninja Raccoons

The Armadillo Tree

The Bear Who Ate People

Duck Day Afternoon

The Slug of Madness

The Day the Animals Got Buried

THE STONE FACED SNAKE

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A cranky little snake was crawling along the jungle floor when it spotted an unusual object on the ground. Being a snake, it stopped to examine the object, because, as we all know, snakes are incurably curious. Also, being cranky, the snake was a little upset that the object was there, in its path. So, it began to slither around and around the object, in circles, examining it. It appeared to be a small purple stone, of irregular shape with some sort of ridges or marks on the surface, running all willy-nilly across it.

As the small cranky snake slithered around and around the stone, peering at it suspiciously, the snake began to speak. It spoke words it did not know, nor understand. They were not words the snake had ever heard before. In fact, they were words that had never been uttered before in the Universe, or anywhere, nor would they ever be uttered again. As the snake uttered these words, wiggling around and around the stone, the stone began to change. It was growing a face. A nose appeared, and two sockets for eyes, and a gaping, irregular gash for a mouth, and on the sides two flaps for ears.

The face was ugly, and it had a horrible look. Its mouth smacked open and shut in a disgusting way, but it could make no noise. It looked like it was trying to scream. This frightened the snake so much it crawled down under the earth so it could not see the ugly stone. The snake found some tunnels underground and it crawled along them as fast as it could go, for it was afraid the horrible stone would follow it.

Deeper and deeper into the earth the scared, angry little snake crawled, and the deeper it went, the colder the temperature grew. As the snake got colder it was less and less able to wriggle its body around corners so it was forced to take the one path that was straight from end to end. The snake was becoming quite stiff. He had always been afraid of going straight, and now that's all it could do. The poor little thing was really becoming quite upset, worrying about the horrible stone above, and the stiffness in its bones, and it began to cry.

The snake had never cried before. Crying was a new experience for him. He cried so much he floated back to the surface on his tears, and the horrible stone saw him. The little snake screamed; the stone flew into the air and stuck itself to the snake's face, like a mask. This scared the snake so much it went stark raving mad. It began to thrash about and throw itself on the ground attempting to break the mask.

The poor little snake screamed in fear and anger,

and the mask amplified his screams. He could be heard all across the